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I still have to focus on some rap/commission stuff, but I am improving in mental health and I think that will mean good things for keeping on top of Moe too, even if it’s not daily.
I was blown away by all the creativity in the comment dungeon below the last comic. I would like to aggregate links to the fanart and creations in a news post. I was scared to read them for a while because I thought people would be raging, but my audience amazes me again. I hate that I abused your patience.
Wow! I almost didn’t believe it! I love the new autumn color scheme. Praise be to the Forman! The pee stains probably come from all his 12yo soccer buddies.
Firman, I would say welcome back, but…
This is your home.
So better….
Thanks for inviting us all in.
I know too well the guilt that can build when many people are interested in a creation that you’ve made, but that you don’t have as much time for as you would like. (And the nasty cycle of “But now that it’s been so long, they will be expecting something truly grand. So I’ll have to wait until I’ve got better ideas…) I applaud you for overcoming any of that.
Finally, by definition you can’t abuse us as an audience. You’ve freely shared something that has entertained us all. So thank you for sharing your unique talents with us! Please continue to share whatever you would like as long as you are having fun. And try to avoid any habits of thought or action that make Moe feel like an obligation.
I really do admire your artistic style and the way you use it to express humor and wry comments on life. Thanks again for everything.
Four hundred, fifty
Grace this story’s artful fate.
Hats off, we thank you.
(Firman, no apologies needed. You bless others with your art; as that karma returns to you, it is well-deserved. We thank you for what you share and ask for no more. Do what you must; do what edifies you, as healing comes in art’s expression. Morever, quality trumps quantity-you’ve given us that already.)
(As an aside though, I follow various webcomics; I admit to getting slightly sad when artists don’t update according to schedule for whatever reason, except for this comic. Not only is the art and dialogue constantly of high quality, the comment section community we’ve built is so great, I’m ok with waiting as long as it takes for updates to show up.
So, I encourage those irritated to join in with a comment. If you feel like you must voice disappointment, though, at least channel that into something positive, you know? Write a haiku if you’re into that, or whatever, there’s no pressure, just throwing that out there)
Haiku, or prose, or drunken limerick; post how ye wish it. Complaints, praises, recipies for lunches gone by. Pile these here, and high, to a mighty number. Just know that as the blinding light of the cursed daystar sears our retinas each day, so too shall Moe return to us. Good things come to those who will be patient and wait.
Oh happy day! I don’t have the mad skills like these guys to come up with a rhyme or Haiku so fast, but glad to see you back! And not just because it means more awesome free comics.
Haiku rules = simple
hard to follow exactly.
an extra syllable?
Seriously, I wish I had something clever or witty to say, or a cool chart to share. But unfortunately I do not. I will take the easy way out and simply say ‘raw fish and rice’.
In light of the haiku-alanche, I present prose in a differing form. Ponder ye this old koan:
Once the monks of the eastern and western Zen halls in Nansen’s temple were
quarrelling about a cat. As he saw this, Nansen held up the cat and said,
“You monks! If one of you can say a word, I will not slay the cat.”
No one could answer, and thus Nansen cut the cat in two. Nansen told Joshu what had happened, and asked him for his view. Joshu thereupon took his sandals, put
them upon his head and went away.
Thus spake Nansen: “If you had been there, I could have spared the cat.”
I’m not very good at koan’s, but I’ll try one I was told a while back.
A man was looking for a mystery book.
He looked to Moe and said, “where do I find this?”
Moe responded, “when you can drink the river in a single gulp, you will find your section.”
A man wandered into a forest accompanied only by his trusting dog. He was seeking freedom from his poverty-stricken lifestyle by escaping into true independence.
As he survived in the wild he found it intensely difficult to procure food for himself and his canine companion. After several days of almost no nourishment, he had to decide whether or not to eat his poor, trusting friend.
In the end, he decided he would have been better off sticking with raw fish and rice.
A boy grew up listening and loving rock and roll. He ate nothing but the bread that restaurants left on tables.
When he grew older, and his beard was as long as his hair, he began enscribing his wisdom in ketchup upon every piece of restaurant bread he came upon.
Unfortunately, when he started writing these information thoughts on tables, chairs, plates, and waitresses, he was informed that he “Must keep the comments on a roll”
I got the next Moe all roughed out, it’s eight panels and features lots of old favourite characters. But I don’t know if I’ll get it done in time before I head away for the THNAKSGIVIG WEEKNED. So either really soon or pretty soon!
Wow, this is like a magical wish machine! I envision something and it comes to life! OK, um, OK…. I envision myself with . . . ONE MILLION DOLLARS! *looks around* Dang, that didn’t work.
Teh_Bucket, awesome work! I love how Grandpa is aloofly ignoring the whole scene by playing cards with someone off-scene… classic.
Lovely work, if slightly blasphemous. Perhaps the Almighty will smile upon it, for He has created the platypus and in so doing has demonstrated His divine sense of humor.
Still a WIP, but this is the germ of the idea I had. Still haven’t figured out what Moe responds with, but probably something along the lines of being put out for toture. Eliot is so insensitive to Moe’s needs. Here it is.
I’ve actually decided to try to come up with something different as the next strip – the one I had going with the old characters wound up being insensitive because of something that has come up in the news. I’ll still use it, but later.
I actually care less about the idea that it’d be insensitive and more about the idea that people would think I’m trying to comment on current events!
There’s a thing called news?
You mean media are used
For things not quite Moe?
I don’t pay any attention to the news or current events, so I wouldn’t know if you were commenting on them or not unless it was blatantly pointed out. But I can see where you’re coming from. At least you’ve got a guaranteed ringer already in place for some time in the yet to come.
Awws, shoot. All I’ll be able to think about is which eventual comic Firman is talking about, and with which news event it would be considered insensitive.
Let me practice… The current strip about the bed and the event horizon is insensitive to English Mastiff owners.. see this CNN video.
Dearest W, (8)
My idea is as a (11)
Boa on fire. (9)
28. The use of a single letter for three syllables is a bit cheap, though. In the spirit of rectification, here is an alternate first line with same letter count:
“I am a hobo.”
Some other good words for letter reducitation and syllable maxification:
Io (2/2), area (3/4), cameo (3/5), alien (3/5). Apparently Iouea (4/5) is a genus of Cretaceous fossil sponges.
earthworm winnow ginned
Traceback (most recent call last):
File “MakeHaiku.py”, line 27, in
print(getLine(7))
File “MakeHaiku.py”, line 8, in getLine
idx = random.randint(0,len(words[toGet])-1)
IndexError: list index out of range
I… am not sure if you’re referring to politics or Halo. Yeah, I’m that sheltered in my ivory tower of mathematics.
If it’s politics, I didn’t even look at the US election results until just a moment ago. I was just making a pun on the common chant for those that support incumbents. Whether the beers are celebratory or inebriatory in purpose is irrelevant to the pun I was making.
If it’s Halo, I’ve never played any of the series, so if there is a character called Chief-Master there, I have no opinion due to lack of any relevant knowledge.
And so I don’t stray too far out of form, I shall append this relevant haiku.
i have finally returned after almost a year of not having a functioning computer. and i find moe has had a metaphorical orgy of updating. this is most good. although this latest one dates back a bit i am still in a righteous mood about the whole thing. also good to see haiku still doing his haiku thing along with mr carp. i haven’t been here since the late great superduck and gregory power combo of 2010 and 11. those boys were something special. anyway here i am getting all old and sentimental an’ such, forgive this old fool for caring too much :’)
Fren, does that mean Moe has finally found the love interest that takes his breath away? Who knew it would be as simple as a finding the right matress!
Nimz, as always, the key to love and mattresses is simply size. Though many and more go for the queen sized bed, trust in me on this: a full is big enough to share, yet small enough that sharing is fun.
But, as goes, Moe shall never find love so long as he’s displaying urine stains upon his mattress.
ah so it is, my mistake. i find patience and other peoples haikus to be the best way to get sir firman posting comics again. but out of curiosity how would the moe-pun-less kickstarter project work
Thank you everyone for staying tuned! And Doramjan for his bribery support ( I still owe him something fantastic )
I’m not going to say any excuses! I’m just going to get back into a Moe routine, but not as frequent as the beginning of 2012. We’ll see how I manage!
Let’s arrange a firm date, even though mid-December to the new year will spell trouble for a schedule. New Moe strip by December 4th, or else everyone has to post mean haikus about me.
Yeah unfortunately it looks like it’s going to take the 4th to make it, since the 3rd has unexpectedly been a bust. I’m so rusty, I just hope I don’t end up with something entirely lacklustre. 2AM – I need to go sleep!
Man, I’m starting to feel incapable of making things :C
When is this lull going to end?
This remains my best idea so far, but still seems kind of dark for the official archives, I don’t know: http://www.firmanproductions.com/latrine/abandmoened.gif
With Firman’s sketch,
The lull is terminated
Without prejudice.
Seriously, Admiral Firman, whether or not you decide to do anything
more with that sketch or include it in the archives, I am so glad you
shared it. I really can’t recall having ever laughed so much at any
other comic you’ve written. This one is truly brilliant and one of your
best in my opinion.
If this reflects the state of nearly-rejected ideas, please keep sharing!
Unchanging comic
Rewards repeated viewings
With laughter anew.
I can’t help it. The final punchline panel should have lost its punch for me
by now, since, having read it over and over, I know the ending. But I still
laugh out loud every time I look at it. Comedy genius.
Oh Admiral, you need not worry yourself. No matter what form Moe takes, we have always enjoyed it. To quote you from earlier this year:
Firman
March 7th, 2012 at 9:05 am
What if I just end up having a terrible month this year? Like all of June, the punchlines are about how much Moe hates Mondays & how much he wants some coffee. Can you forgive me? Will you forgive me?!
Please don’t leave me.
I can’t face Mondays alone.
Face your fears, Admiral! You aren’t alone. We’re all in this together.
Alright, yes, I shall grant you, the remainder of us merely consume the content you provide. However, I think it of note that we’re all very sweet, kind, supportive and decent folk that never, ever chide you about anything. So, really, just throw down how you’d like. Schedule or no!
One wonders whether Mister Moe
has ever considered becoming
a practitioner of Zen philosophy.
Back-of-the-envelope calculations suggest
this would be instant comedy gold.
A Moe comic on the cutting room floor
Leaves fans patiently waiting for more.
For though Firman’s rusty,
In time we trust he
Will find his groove for Moe comics galore.
Doramjan, the graphs and charts are beautiful, as always. The comment count tracker graph looks rather like a sideways parabola, or a square root function. Perhaps a regression curve could be drawn to extrapolate.
How did I get so big in the word cloud? I guess I could reread some of the comments from the start…
… okay, I’m back. And I found out the real reason Moe hasn’t updated yet, and why the good Admiral Firman is having artist’s block. There hasn’t been another child born since the week of Moe #450. Experts are baffled at the global population actually declining over the past three months.
I suspect any three letters when converted to hex, and the hex code converted to colour would tend to be dark greyish. This does not negate the fact that <color=MOE> would fit nicely with the current web page colour scheme.
Doramjan breathes life
Into the stagnant comments
With cool graphs and charts.
Nimz, you’re absolutely right that pretty much all the ASCII values for words would make about the same shades of dark gray, but not all names translate to the exact length hex value for a color Moe is only 3 letters so it works great!
I don’t recall seeing any posts that got eaten up. Maybe it was a dream? Speaking of dreams, a haiku happened in an IRC channel I visit that could be tangentially relevant here, too, so I’ll say it again:
Life is but a dream.
For some it is lucid dreams.
Others have nightmares.
Stand your ground, lads. Scan the foggy shores, for the times nears. Saint Admiral Firman shall come and launch new comics down the exhaust ports of our dwellings. He shall! HE IS REAL DAMN IT.
Yes, DORAMJAN, there is an Admiral Firman. He exists as certainly as wordplay and multi-layered artwork and sarcasm exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Admiral Firman. It would be as dreary as if there were no INTERNETS. There would be no childlike exclamations of POO! then, no haikus, no comments to make tolerable the inevitable waiting between comics. We should have no enjoyment in either point or click. The eternal light with which Moe fills the world would be extinguished.
Speak not of such things, Palindr’moe.’ Let us never give up hope. The apocalypse has come and gone but the seas are still waving. So does the Admiral still sail and we must wait until the winds of change bring him back to us.
Which I don’t say to be secular, but because I like phrasing things in silly new ways. I am out on the family gathering tour with only my laptop, but I am hoping I can still make a strip if I could just end this damn creative block!
We had it all wrong! The Admiral is not lost at sea but, in fact, beached! We must bombard him with the rain of new ideas – leave nothing out – so a tide of bad humor and good fortune may wash him back to our tiny island!
Firman: you underestimate just how much I’m loving these German jokes. I’ve been teaching myself the language for about six months now! Sie ist meine Lieblings-Sprache!
Seriously, though, let’s have conversations in German. Please?
be caladlana the elf prostitute of Mirkingrad. in other news, i hope everyone had a joyous season of celebration, and i wish lord firman all the best in crush the ruinous forces of creative block.
Yes, I think this shall work as an allegory. The tetrads are the mental detritus of our dear Admiral’s block. We must work to clear them away, line by line, so that the spice may flow once again.
Derp, just mixed metaphors. In an allegory. Not gonna be the best year, is it?
Or it’s going to be an amazing year! Who says we can’t mix metaphors. Where else can a five year old who only says “poo” become an astronaut and meet Jet Hunk, a rocket powered explorer of space? And this is not including the Moe family, the tooth brush psychopath-girlfriend, and – well – Moe himself.
Spasibo, Doramjan ^^ All I could figure out was “you” and “Svetlana”, I really don’t know a lot. I do have the alphabet memorized though
Omi, good idea.
Firman, gutes Glueck mit die naechtse Comic! Ich kann nicht warten! Ich liebe dich und deine Fangemeide, dass ich bin ein Teil von sie Es tut mir Leid wenn dies ist schlecht, ich habe grammatik Probleme auf Deutsch ^^;
Since our dear Admiral has a block that no amount of rum may flush, I submit that we begin posting ideas for a new story arc. Perhaps one of our thoughts may serve to eliminate the log which jams his creative river. Firman needs a writing team! Perhaps we may yet serve.
New Fir`Moe’n comic:
Moe saves an author insert
<strikethrough>With raw fish and rice</strikethrough>
<strikethrough>From Firman Subfusc</strikethrough>
From raw fish and rice.
we should do a tandem story write-up like those things where each person adds a line and it goes to all sorts of wacky and zany places or as is more common, butts and the like.
ill kick us off as i have very little else to do at 1:50 in the morning.
moe stared off into the sunset, his bald head glinting majestically in the sun…
also if i don’t return to add to or finish this story then my house has been engulfed by the fires that are turning my country into the fire nation. it has been a pleasure to serve aboard this comicship under the command of the great firman. a poignant moment of reverence for the brave posters we have lost over time: Kanye, Gregory, superduck, superduck’s ghost, carp, and countless others who i have shame fully forgotten. and a heartfelt salute to those whom continue this proud tradition, you do all those who came before you proud. Omi signing off to start packing for evacuation out of the danger zone. later homeboys.
…moe ends up resembling the drop as a result of the beating which leads to extra hilarity as everyone starts beating the burning drop bear and drop moe out…
also i am back, the fire was a great big let down for me as the only property damage i suffered was shattering my laptop screen to hell in my haste to pack.
… which are wielded by ARCHERY STORE AMAZONS!
The Amazons tell Moe to get down on his knees while making hand gestures.
Moe just stands and looks while still wearing his headphones.
Moe shrugs and says “what?”
(ohohohoho, i bet you all thought i stopped posting, which is understandable, but i’ve been doing some Big Life Things and haven’t been able to post with my usual zealous regularity. this may or may not change soon? at any rate, i’m not abandoning the site and i’m certainly not abandoning Moe by any means)
*comes into the room* Hello, I’m your doctor. May I ask what you’re here for? Oh, if you’re wondering why you can’t feel your legs, that just means the Novocain kicked in, so don’t worry. We administered it directly to the breakage sites!
(See … I think it would have been in a Firmanesque sense of humor to indicate that Moe had no legs due to him being listed on his ID as a leg donor. But eh, it’s not my story!)
my dear fren it is everyones story at the moment. treat it like the wanton hussy it is and take it round the block. this story is the filler crack whore whilst we wait for lord firman to bring us the properly illustrated and hilarious genuine high class escort that is moe
“… No, you don’t understand, Doc Cal, I’m a piano donor, not an organ donor. … Yes, you can have the tuning fork, Hey! That’s a wishbone, not a tuning fork!”
My confidence in the competence of doctors in this realm has actually gone up due to this encounter.
Health care or health scare?
Doc has a knockout technique -
I’m out seven teeth!
(At least I was rendered unconscious for the duration of the knee amputation surgery. I’m not sure how they managed to remove my knees and leave my legs and feet attached to the rest of my body…)
Haiku, they only gave me the Schedule II stuff. Imagine how much more interesting this would have been if they bumped me all the way up to Schedule V! Oh, and by ‘they’ I mean Them! Somehow I got transported to a hospital where all the doctors and all the other patients are giant ants. But they’re pretty friendly, so it’s all good. You can tell the President he can stop sending fighter jets to ‘rescue’ me.
Such a show of bladder control! To top off a small wine glass, pinch off and hold the remainder is truly a show of remarkable tenacity. You keep at ‘em, Moe.
Wow. That is eerily appropriate. That may also be the explanation for Moe’s failed attempts at love – he’s only had human love interests instead of mocking birds.
I’m going to bounce back. I’ll figure out a way. It’s been months since I’ve even drawn anything which is shameful, but also means the artistic urge is getting backed up. You folks have been unnaturally patient and forgiving and that demands some kind of rewarding payoff.
Just wanted to let you know that although I’ve never posted I’ve been following Moe for years, and you always do great work admiral. I’m sure I’m not the only one fondly F5′ing from the shadows.
When haikus fail, what will bring news of Moe?
When after months of wait there’s still no show,
What else can we, the stubborn faithful, try?
Moe’s fast asleep, in bed (whose forms defy
The laws of nature, as we’re told). And so
We wait, write haikus, many in a row,
Draw sundry fan art gifs, and hide our woe
In cheerful comments written with a sigh,
When haikus fail.
If forum posts are still not running low,
Is it because, deep down, we simply know
That Moe, for all his dumbness, cannot die?
We hold out hoping, yet we know not why:
And therefore, friends, I offer this rondeau,
When haikus fail.
Silent Fan, I want to echo what you were saying. I rarely if ever comment on here, but I frequently F5 with a hope that will not fade. Admiral, you have more followers than I can count on 2 severed hands.
Another drop in the ocean.
I am stricken by the notion
If Moe stayed in bed this long
(Of course I might just be wrong…),
He’ll need some calamine lotion.
(Random thought, what if the Admiral sails away with 450?)
(Which one of us will compose his lyrical diddy?)
(Is that even a word?)
(How patently absurd.)
(I know rhyme not hello kitty)
Heh heh, we should really start having some Moe related holidays. For example, how would Moe celebrate Saint Patricks? Spoiler: I imagine a great deal of vomiting.
my st patricks day was celebrated the traditional irish way, alone, with a bottle of whiskey, listening to the pogues and christy moore. irish heritage shines through. has moe got any irish blood in him?
26 1/2 hours that the post 450 slot was available before being taken. We are clearly `Moe’ch too chivalrous for our own good. Congratulations, Palindr`moe’!
I’m glad Palindr’moe’ got the magical ’450′. I didn’t have anything *NEARLY* clever enough to occupy such an honorable comment slot.
BTW, Not Darren appears to be a friend of Firman (see http://www.darrencalvert.com/links.htm ) Maybe it’s some friendly banter to prod the Admiral into action? If so, I say “double dumb butt”!
in light of this news DUMB BUTTS AHOY
comment 5 7 5 shall not be mine as alas my skill in the haiku is sorely lacking. but i am confident that you, my brethren have the strength within you to muster up the mightest haiku the world has ever seen.
Omi, comment 5 7 5 doesn’t need to be a haiku. It just needs to happen. This is what is most important. Almost as important as figuring out what our -next- goal will be. Did we ever reach comment 1000? Or reverse haiku of 7 5 7?
“This is it, boys, this is war – what are we waiting for?
Why don’t we break the rules already?
I was never one to believe the hype! Save that for the black and white
Try twice as hard and I’m half as liked, But here they come again to jack my style…
That’s all right. I found a peestain in my bed tonight.
Stops my bones from wonderin’, just who I am, who I am.
Well, some nights I wish that this would all end,
Cuz I could use some friends for a change.
And some nights I’m scared you’ll forget me again,
But some nights I always win.
But I read these posts,
And I renew my hope
Oh Lord, I am more sure
What I stand for–
What do I stand for?
Oh, Moe!
What do I stand for?
Oh Moe!”
Those stains will be a heck of a lot harder to clean out now than they were then. Incendiary measures may be the best way to deal with it now. Moe, you need to find a pyro woman to be romantically involved with you.
Doram you are entirely correct. I was, and am annually re-, born on the fourth of May. Don’t listen to the Illuminati’s plot to make the date of my special occasion ambiguous.
Pardon my absence, gentlemen. I have been away in the mist-enshrouded land of Missouri. They sell hard liquor in the gas stations there. Never have I known such fabled lands.
If the uttered words of our sages are to be believed, Minnesota is the land of many lakes. Missouri is the land of one American cultural hero, this Tom Sawyer I’ve read so much about. They also serve a great deal of chicken fried steak, I believe this to be a local delicacy. Yet still, friends, imagine it: in one stop, you can refuel your conveyance, procure tobacco, beer, bourbon AND a sandwich. Truly, this is God’s own design.
No, friend. If such things were allowed, humanity would descend further into being the most lazy race. We’d be contending with cats and sloths at that juncture.
Cats are a universally accepted as clumsy asshole ninjas and sloths go with any suit, jungle, or urban environment. I think Omi is on to something. Perhaps Moe ordered one of these tob-beer-bons and is simply waiting for it to arrive.
Though your assessments of such animals are realistic, know ye this: cats spend many, many hours of each day sleeping. That is plain lazy. And sloths? They hardly move at all. Give them a couch and a remote control and they’d likely starve to death.
Moe, however, is simply a Zen master. He has no wants. He is free from desire. Understanding the true nature of beds, he knows that such fickle works would only be undone, in the end.
Moe updates several times daily, with our thoughts and brief communiques. The Admiral only swings through port nigh a few times yearly, as his heart belongs to the sea. We merely line the shore and await his return.
This comic could probably be made into a `Moe’ntage. Every panel would be Moe in his bed, with a variety of poses and levels of lighting. There are probably better `Moe’ntage ideas, but that one could work.
Moe rests, but is not rested;
Slumber tantalising daily, hourly, minutely, by the second.
Annoyances plague the mind.
‘Elliot, though I wait, I am not a waiter. I don’t need your tips!’
Why does Moe wait?
Romantic interests do not simply fall from the sky;
Make your destiny, Moe!
Oh yes, he shall marinate and contemplate the meaning of existence. The banality of it all. This comic is the stuff that a master’s thesis in psychology is made of.
just realised it has been more than 7 months since an update and at times i find myself hoping the update never comes because this comment thread is great. but then i realise how much i love reading moe and i have to chastise myself.HOW DO YOU CHOOSE BETWEEN TWO THINGS YOU LOVE??
I’ve talked briefly to the Admiral about such a thing and he has politely declined at current. This doesn’t mean his opinions haven’t changed, or that I’m a liar, but I think we’ll have to wait a little longer.
I’ve been getting some increased pressure to make a book lately, which I reckon means demand is increasing?! So maybe it will actually be feasible to recover costs with a printing.
Moe should be resumed before any kind of book launch though. And I’m still ultra-embarrassed by a lot of the old strips. Personally I’d prefer to release a “Best of” collection wherein I select my favourites, rather than an exhaustive series that tours the entire comic. But some of you might disagree!
I’ve thanked you awesome people for sticking by me before – to repeat it after so long would cast doubt on its sincerity. I have to demonstrate this gratitude in the form of some damn comics. Now that the number of visitors on the site has dwindled to a tenth of its prior average, some of the performance anxiety may actually be lessened!
Do what makes you most comfortable, Herr Admiral. On one hand, your refinement of the form has proceeded remarkably from the early days. Yet, on another, nobody will recognize the heights you’ve attained without staring deep into the abyss of your earlier works. For a fine example of another artist that began humbly and truly broke out down the line, check out String Theory. No need to be embarrassed. It happens to be the way things work, is all. Over time, with practice, you improve and refine.
neither, at least not anymore, now I’ve just got all this sweet dough ray me floatin round. and a very cranky wife. apparently the baby “WASN’T” for trading. first I ever heard of it.
(Fren, thank you for the deep compliment. I am not as good at poetry as some of you, so forgive my attempt if it hurts too deeply. The works you, my friends, have shown before have inspired me to compose with careful deliberation. Congratulations on 575. Let’s now make it to reverse haiku, 757)
(Agh, rereading this I can definitely see some mistakes I made in my syntax. Again, forgiveness, poetry is probably one of my weakest skills – right up there with piano juggling. Next time will be better)
Thank you, my good friends.
Your patience, I needed it.
Appreciated.
There once was a man.
No, a captain. Who sailed away
with Moe and a plan.
Travel away, he did,
Across the internet sway.
Doubt, fear, he forbid.
Time passed and beards grew,
Lord Duke of all he purvey,
Admiral made true.
Now Lord Commander,
Firman brought the world’s umbrae,
Moe, the white anchor.
Across the wide world,
From whitest Canada clay,
to Australia furled,
Of Texas down south,
Plus the Martians estray,
Loyal through all drought.
They wait patiently.
For, He will return some day.
From sea to aerie.
Moe will never die.
His image our ships forestay,
Moe knows no goodbye.
holy shit you have no idea how hard it was not commenting, but it was so very worth it. godbless you Haiku you glorious son of a bitch, truly the great firman lay his guiding hand upon thee when you crafted this poem
Thank you both, but I’m afraid those jokes were stolen a bit from our Admiral’s friend – Andrew Hussie. (Hope I spelled that properly). The “game” Problem Sleuth has a sub-game the characters play called “Hunk Rump” which is very similar to Magic in the fact it is played with cards and primarily focuses on bronzed asses. I can’t seem to get a proper link yet, but I will add one soon.
Well the only part that your haiku, Haiku, seems to have in common with the MSPA thing is “tap that ass”, which, to the best of my knowledge, isn’t a particularly uncommon phrase.
And thus, with the addition of the (presumably original) alarm clock preface, I deem this joke not to have been stolen.
perhaps the urine stains ARE the drip torture. he is unable to get a full flow going as a result of his misshapen prostate which has been warped by all his bed laying. now he can only suffer through the torture of dripping willy.
Well I finally caught up and there is still no more Moe, which admittedly makes me a little sad. I was kind of hoping that my eventual catching up would coincide directly with Firman adding a new comic. Alas, I seem to be mistaken. In any case, thank you all for making such wonderfully entertaining comics. I almost felt like I was waiting along with all of you as I read them, and I suppose now I will be waiting along with all of you.
Firman, zen master,
Provokes great doubt with comment,
Bids enlightenment.
The nautical implications are clear enough with “stay afloat”,
reference to “commissions” (clearly the naval commission of his
admiralty), and the piratical “Arrrrrrrg.” referred to above.
But meditation reveals further depth in our master’s kōan-comment.
The triplet “wait wait wait” is easily seen as a plea for
patience. But, further, its immediate placement after Nimz’ beastly
haiku begs a numerical interpretation, and that through rhyme with
mail-order telephone numbers everywhere.
Obviously, Firman is encouraging patience on our part, while at the
same time telling us that our previous goal of achieving the
reverse-haiku comment count of 757 is not nearly high enough.
Patience, grasshoppers,
The end of all things awaits,
New goal: triple-eight!
And alas, dear Admiral, the future of beloved Moe was never in doubt. Though merry fools be we, faith is kept that surely someday Moe shall stir and rise from his urine-soaked tomb. And, even were it never to happen, we shall remain in vigil. This is our custom, a people defined by scattershot haiku and ephemeral loyalties to another character we’ve created. This has become greater than any of us.
Personally, I prefer the Knights who See Moe, but I am not presumptuous enough to think that I will be initiated into such an order right away. Also, part of me almost just wants to see another comic of Moe lying in bed. Even more so though, I want to see the comic that was talked about but then never revealed.
Not entirely sure what point you are trying to make Fren. I was referring to the comic that Firman talked about releasing around thanksgiving of last year, but then never did. I am very curious about said comic, especially because it was supposed to have quite a lot of characters in it.
My vote is also The Knights Who See Moe. Which means we need a banner, or a flag, or a banner flag. And we need this before 888. Which means we need it now.
Thanks, Palindr‘moe’. I wasn’t sure if Fren was getting all metaphysical, or if he was implying some sort of hierarchy of Moe comics in which the ‘unseen’ comics are superior to the ‘seen’ comics, meaning that asking to see this unreleased comic would in essence be asking for a degradation of all things Moe.
I am out of town until after the weekend but in this time I’m going to write the next strip, which has been the real hurdle.
Long hiatuses
Increase the writing pressure
Time to move forward
The idea for what comes next has transformed from what I first expected, but I’m still planning it to be a larger, several row strip. I can’t believe how faithful and tolerant you excellent fans have been. It should be rewarded!
You may beknight yourselves, should you wish. Even amongst such gentle and wise company, each stands his vigil alone.
And yes, the comic which can be seen is not truly the comic, as it must be interpreted by each viewer to have meaning, and said meaning holds true for that individual. In this, we come to know the creator’s intent as well as our own.
And, since I’m off waxing philosophic, here is another koan:
Sorry, Fren. I understand entirely what you are saying now; I suppose my problem initially was that I saw it as some sort of response to what I said instead of a more general comment.
Thanks for the perspective, friends. I doubt these trousers are pee-proofed now (if they ever were), but I can still be on the cutting edge of fashion! (tearing edge?)
You know, this reminds me of an episode of Duck Tales, in which Bubba Duck is searching for Scrooge McDuck in the time machine, and winds up breaking off the nose of the sphinx:
“After years and years of work, my sphinx is finally finished!”
*CRASH*
“MY SPHINX! It’s ruined! Ruined! Rui…
… Actually, I kinda like it.”
Search for a clip: vain.
I found the episode name:
Ali Bubba’s Cave.
The reverse haiku
Is just two-score away now.
A lesser goal: met.
I speak of the comment count on the last Moe before this one showed up. That was Reverse Minus Forty… though it did get a few extra posts post the pee-stained Moe post. So we have just a few more to go to make this the longest comment thread.
(By which I was trying to say, “we’re nearly to the reverse haiku.” Who wants the honor? Although -now- I’m thinking about a mirror haiku universe. Where all of our haiku’s are filled with flaming trolls and hatred for a reverse Admiral (in this case General) who hates us in return)
Egads, there hasn’t been a new comment in days. I think you have left us all feeling confounded Nimz, well at least there was some momentary flustered sensations after reading those haikus….hmmm I’m not sure if that is the proper plural. Well, have we decided who is taking the coveted reverse haiku spot?
(Nootnop. Pontoon? Heh heh heh…I didn’t get that until I absolutely typed out every piece of it. I also believe that Mirror Moe would definitely be known as Epod instead of Hpeseom – at least when speaking with a familiar tone. In the mirror universe, I see them using last names as first names and vice versa. So -their- “Moe” is from the House of Hpeseom, but he’s known as Epod)
(-Speaking of which-, and padding the comments, What about the mirror universe’s (trying sound that out loud) Bo? Or Rocketpack Hunk? There is a whole pile of dark characters to pull out)
As far as Haiku’s question about Jetpack Hunk, I think a worthy theory is that he is in fact mirror Moe—Epod, that is, seeing as how he’s pretty much Moe’s opposite in every way. He just hasn’t revealed himself as Epod of Hpeseom yet. Thoughts? Or maybe he’s mirror Uncle Joe?
I did a quickie edit to see what the goatee on Moe would look like, and came up with this as a rough sketch (I’m not very good ad drawing goatees). It could be cleaned up better, but I think it already gets the idea across fairly well, regarding Epod’s evilness.
Comment 757 is to the Moe community what 2012 was to the Mayans. So much discussion and debate and amazing artist’s renderings of mirror universe characters! My vote is for Palindr’Moe’!
Haiku, you are making me absolutely so excited for the coming of 757…We can only hope that at some point in time Firman grants us some sort of alternate universe comic.
I hope so too, Meh. But the Admiral does what the water’s will allow sometimes, and other times the Admiral makes his own waves. Comment 750! It has been stolen in non-poetic fashion. Only seven more, a universal week, who will fill the six and the last, the seven?
I think I see Batman in the middle of November.
Also, as you can see, the highest-posting day was when the Admiral posted the comic. The second highest-posting day was just a few days ago!
I hate this webcomic, and I don’t know why we all bother reading it all the time. I think we need to find this Firman character and make sure he never makes another comic ever again.
I found a passage while exploring this brave new world*:
seil-non on era ereht
ssalg gnikool eht ni
resuoiruc emoceb
I can only assume ‘suoi’ is two syllables (su-oi) and ‘seil’ one syllable (sounds like ‘sail’ or ‘sale’). I am yet uncertain whether it is read from top to bottom or bottom to top. Some punctuation might have helped, alas.
*The phrase ‘brave new world’ is uttered during a chess game in The Tempest. And what does Alice participate in when she goes Through the Looking Glass? (Okay, I admit, that’s a bit of a stretch, but my brain thought it was an amusing connection beyond the simple double-entendre earlier in the line.)
Firman…we’re finished, you and I. I’m sorry. I’ve waited too long. I need a cartoonist that can commit. It’s just better if we go our separate ways. I’d like to say see you around but we both know that isn’t going to happen. Goodbye.
I don’t really have the knack for haikus…and I was really excited hoping that there would be something special here. I love seeing your constant commitment Omi. I think there is something beautiful about the fandom for Firman, and I am happy to be a part of it in the little way that I am. Gosh, I was really hoping the alternate universe would have more comics, though. Actually, if it did, they would be awful and filled with a very attractive and intelligent character that has absolutely no charisma. Hmmmm…I like this universe just fine, because Moe is perfect just the way he is.
Is there a critical mass of Moe fans in a single location to even HAVE a party? It should totally be a cosplay party. We *NEED* a cosplay Moe, Bo, Jetpack Hunk, and maybe that little devil guy!
Hey, what happened to my name? I think it wound up in one of those fun-house mirrors. o.O
If I had more time for arting, I would draw my rendition of a critical mass of Moe fans in a single location, in comic form. It would start with someone on a hot day, wishing for something to cool off with. That’s when they noticing a mound of (paper) fans. Printed on each of the fans is a picture of Moe with a word bubble. Each word bubble is a critique of some sort.
Needless to say, a party begins soon after.
The fans of paper that bear
A likeness of Moe
Have a critical party.
Grandpa Dope, not invited.
He showed, anyway,
Being quite a good critic.
Aye and aye, of all numbers to fear, that one is here. For the humble seven lives in terror no less than that of a scurrying field mouse that’s felt a hawk’s shadow as he gathered his grain on plains stretching for miles. What could threaten a nigh-insubstantial concept such as a number?
This inanity marks the passing of note seven-eight-nine.
(And I just have to remark: Admiral Firman has provided no fewer than 450 very fine comics. How many comics have each of us created? If he never created another comic, he has crossed the line into victory, and our respect. /salute)
Dear, err…
Listen hearer!
Clouds pass by my mirror:
Shadows fuzzy become clearer.
We can see the end is drawing nearer.
We can write in novel structures,
We can begin anew,
We can restart.
We can!
Eight hundred eighty-eight: numerical divinity.
Turn it on its side, now see triple infinity!
Turn it halfway round, it is 888 once more.
Cut in half it’s equal to four hundred forty-four.
(There’s got to be a way to make this poem for Moe or Bo, but I’m not very good at rhyme – haikus being a bit of a cheat – but there are many here much more talented than I. I declare a rhyming adventure!)
This is the tale of Kayne West, who is snuggled in his Kanye Nest, having himself a Kanye rest, for he must be at his Kanye Best, before he’s off on a Kanye Quest, where he’ll be put to the Kanye Test, in hopes to retrieve the Kanye Chest that is distinctly marked with the Kanye Crest, He shall return to the Kanye Nest, and have himself a Kanye Fest, where he will welcome many Kanye Guests, but first he must be rid of Kanye Pests, before he can put on his Kanye Vest and dance at the party with such Kanye Zest.
This is the best I’ve got for a 15 minute attempt.
This is the tale of Moseph Dope,
Whose bed was called the Moseph Grope,
Spawned the lazy Moseph Trope.
To seek romance is the Moseph Hope,
From the movies girl, “Moseph, Nope.”
To the insane dentist, “Moseph, Cope.”
When the Catholic Moseph Pope
Swore he got the Moseph Soap,
But that just made our Moseph Mope.
Returning to the Moseph Grope,
To dream again of Moseph Rope
He made good on the Moseph Trope.
It’s almost like Jetpack Hunk
Had brought us right out of our funk.
But of course, that’s ridiculous–he’s a drifter.
And doesn’t have an ounce of mattress stain-lifter.
Who here remembers sweet raven-haired Fay?
In museum’s halls, she led Moe’s heart astray.
But not for long, cuz Moe got it wrong
Or maybe Admiral Firman didn’t think she belonged.
But I saw today the pretty senorita Fay,
and rued to myself, what a shame she didn’t stay!
But then Moe wouldn’t be hiding some pee stains,
And we’d not be writing clerihews—to Our Great Pains!
Officers and juices need to be iced
(This is before they can be raw fished and riced).
Kiwi with strawberry is close enough,
And those thugs are still out there, acting tough.
Oh dear–I never thought of that–broken mirrors bring bad luck, zmiN!
As demons of misfortune could sneak through the din
Of our shattered vanity; and we, sporting safety glasses and brooms
Must stand fervently vigilant, until proper abnormality resumes.
No cause, repiP, for alarm or concern.
At eight hundred four score eight posts we should return
To our re-inverted selves
With no broken mirrors or shelves.
I dare not think on the chance,
Slim as it may be,
Of anything breaking then.
All Hail, ukiaH–err Haiku!
Who provided that which had been meagre hitherto
Down the home stretch we justly are
Nearing when I can again play my guitar.
OH GOD ITS THE ANNIVERSARY HERE. HAPPY NEW YEAR OF MOE GUYS!!! let us pray for the good admiral’s safekeeping on his mighty quest. GOD BLESS ADMIRAL FIRMAN, GOD BLESS BED RIDDEN MOE, AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL
also after this current post whoever comments next will secure post 888 congratulations to them. we are a motley crew, a ragged band of misfits and miscreants but we stand strong in support of moe’s eternal struggle with pee stained bedding
Still a couple of hours early, but I think I’m ready here.
Ahem.
Such a notable post count
Deserves to have verse
Of a multitude of kinds.
As zmiN, the sole nominee
I accept this mattress stained with pee.
I just wish I had half the bravado
Of a halved avocado.
From a shrink and to the sky,
We have followed this Dope guy.
And if our Admiral at sea be lost,
We’ll find him again no matter the cost,
For he showed us the Best Pie.
Eight hundred fourscore and eight
Shows that Firman sure is great!
I gret just one thing:
I have no banner to bring
But a song to sing.
I don’t think this is anything to mope about, though, because
Favourable art in words
(And sometimes in surds)
Sure beat my visual turds.
My palindrome skills are lacking.
This verse is written upside-down!
You’re reading this top to bottom?
Reading on comments of yore
I am reminded
How everyone is awesome.
Through stories spun of ARCHERY STORE AMAZONS and doctors of ill repute (and questionable phar`Moe’ceuticals – they never did give me that Schedule V stuff), 3D Moe and candy sketches, minimalist haiku and palindromes, epic haiku combobs and koans, anagrams and an Admiral awkwardly accepting all awe, cats are only spared when current events no longer block creative tetrises.
And now, time to close
In the traditional form
Of raw fish and rice.
* bows, takes the award, and passes out upon smelling it *
It seems the mirror universe spell is still affecting some. For those that would come back to this reality, speaking the following magic words may help:
Hocus pocus! Turn!
Raw fish and rice awaits us!
Abracadabra!
And because my mirror counterpart neglected to mention it, Happy first birthday, Moe comic #450. May you eventually be potty trained! Also, (early?) Happy first birthday to Philip’s child! May it be the first of many!
Same url, but comment-11945
The need is fulfilled. I no longer feel so guilty for not having made the banner to put in the anniversary post.
It seems the mirror universe spell is still affecting some. For those that would come back to this reality, speaking the following magic words may help:
Hocus pocus! Turn!
Raw fish and rice awaits us!
Abracadabra!
And because my mirror counterpart neglected to mention it, Happy first birthday, Moe comic #450. May you eventually be potty trained! Also, (early?) Happy first birthday to Philip’s child! May it be the first of many!
Comment blocked by moderation
Due to two included links, it seems
Spurs the thoughts to the creation
Of alternate info conveyance.
Thank you Nimz! That worked! I’m no longer stuck in the mirror universe! But now Moe has pee stains and the bed looks like the pit of a halved avocado…
Let’s see how soon Google indexes this page to find the word “abracadacarba”… Maybe we can use it a lot in abracadacarba-based links to bump this page’s rank in Google…
The second appearance of the dispatcher
Shows her neck that really increases her stature.
“EMERGENCY DISPATCH!”, she cried. And her boss opined,
“We’re 911… Is there any other kind?”
I’ve heard of someone named Sadi
Whose claims to sainthood are rather shady.
When, like Moe, he leaves his drink behind by mistake He covers it with a purchase that’s fake.
[Once more, with feeling! And perhaps this time with a functional link...]
I’ve heard of someone named Sadi
Whose claims to sainthood are rather shady.
When, like Moe, he leaves his drink behind by mistake He covers it with a purchase that’s fake.
Mr. Dope confirmed his full name
And received a tricycle that came
With apologies for exploding his car.
You won’t get rust stains from that handlebar.
Palindr‘moe’, considering the line you chose for the link, it’s almost appropriate it was fake the first time through.
Another Mallay and Dumpty strip is up next. I wonder if the Billy that’s being threatened by them is the same Billy that blew up Moe’s car. They look different, but that could be the passage of time affecting young ‘uns more strongly. Did Billy have an indirect hand in meting out poetic justice?
Soon, clerihews for
Cinema Girl and boyfriend:
Angela and Josh.
Though he’s got nothing on Moe,
Basking in the billboard’s glow.
From this vantage it’s hard to make his features out,
But if that upper lump is not an eye, then he’s got a mouth like a trout.
Cinema Girl (née Angela)
Has a few questions for this Moe fella.
“Are you okay? Your eyeballs are hearts.”
“Oh my God! That’s how a hazardous eye disease starts!”
Poor, sad Moe;
Romantic missteps have left him feeling low.
He picks himself up with his imagination,
Of forgiveness, a date, hand-holding, love, and zombie decapitation.
Our sweet prince’s jokes are not very fresh,
And they just don’t mesh
With the clown’s studio routine.
Pretty sure that clown is heckling the next time he’s seen.
I could’ve sworn I wrote and posted a clerihew for the unnamed detective shortly after the unfresh prince one. Maybe I fell asleep instead of hitting the Submit Comment button. Let’s see if I can recall it well enough to rebuild it from scratch…
An unnamed detective
Will hear defective
Intel on who iced two cops.
At the news he will lose his bottle of rye schnapps.
I have not heard of scotch whiskey being referred to as schnapps, but a certain dictionary (the same one that failed to inform me about the name-in-the-first-line convention for clerihews… maybe I should check other sources…) told me schnapps can be any strong, dry spirit.
If scotch is specific and schnapps is vague, I don’t see that there would be an incorrect usage of words, despite the loss of detail, in referring to the specific thing in more generic terms. Or put another way, as far as I can tell, scotch is a subset of schnapps. If there are scotches that are not schappses, I will gladly rewrite the clerihew to be more faithful to Film N’Moe’ir.
it’s much like how a square is a type of rectangle but a rectangle is not a type of square. the addition of extra guidelines separates the two in one direction. so whilst cola is a type of soft drink, soft drink is not a type of cola.
oh man now I come to the hardest day of my life: calling scotch square. the mantra “it’s hip to be square” just doesn’t prepare you for the day. I forgot all about moe’s early wooing days
Moe takes his paper stuffed with wheat and ‘shrooms,
And all the hair not on his head, he grooms,
“I’m sure that slushie slave won’t notice the bouquet’s messiness,
When she’s distracted by my half-closed-eyelid sexiness!”
The ace gumshoe rides solo
Hot on the tail of the ’76 El Bolo.
He’ll stick around ’til that cock-eyed, chrome-domed cookie is ready to blow, Without the greenbacks, he can’t rub him out during the picture show.
Huey Lewis and the News
Did their best to prepare you to call good booze
By a term generally not considered friendly.
For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about forcing your hand there, Omi.
Angela’s Boyfriend‘s mom and dad
Seem to have given him a name that would have had
A terrible emotional impact:
Have you seen grade-schoolers with tact?
The PI plugged a slug in the ugly lug’s jug.
Moe, your grave has been dug.
In the midst of a confusing situation,
The detective proves to be a master of negation.
“Moe, wasn’t your stomach shot clean through?
Couldn’t that kill you?”
“No stomach was in that bullet’s flight line.
It’s fatal if I die, but ’til then I’m fine.“
The gumshoe is not only a master of not,
But mastry of logic he’s also got.
“Because you were shot in the belly,
So thus ergo you murdered Officers Mallay and Dumpty!”
For the fiftieth episode in the story of Moe,
His cuffs are too tight, but he can still show
None can ignore him, despite fashion sense,
When he releases his flatulence!
Angela could not confess her true feelings,
While Josh wanted more Moe dealings.
My question for Josh (please leave me from the answer, spared):
How do you give a wedgie to someone un-underweared?
Someday Cinema Girl will return, when we least expect it.
Does anyone have the artistic chops to halve an actual avocado, and carve Moe’s likeness into the pit? That would be the ultimate fan-art for this comic!!
We did it? Were there internets won?
The ride thus far has been so much fun!
I would like to say some thank you stuff
To Firman, for pausing long enough.
I’ll have MORE thanks when more Moes get done.
I mean. like no pressure. There’s lots of gratitute going on here, for serious. But woah man! if you’re allergic to thankses, watch out when the next strip gets posted. Here’s to Moe’s eventual rise out of the pit of held-by-matress’s-event-horizon.
If Moe didn’t cause a space-bending singularity alone, 1000 legit comments loaded with miles of poetry did the rest.
In case it wasn’t clear, I just pointed out that this we’ll all be collapsing into a black hole shortly. It’s been an honor working with you folks, /tiphat.
Doramjan is right! Although, what would Moe celebrate? I think Christ’Moe is it. He’d take all the presents and then return the ones he didn’t want unwrapped.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:45 am
Allow me to start
A fresh new page of comments!
Hurrah! Moe is back!
September 4th, 2012 at 2:45 am
I… I had almost given up hope… But here it is. New Moe.
… It’s more beautiful than I’d ever imagined.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:47 am
Seven-seventeen:
Not a bad number for posts!
Let’s never forget.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:49 am
I’m so big fat sorry to everyone :C
I still have to focus on some rap/commission stuff, but I am improving in mental health and I think that will mean good things for keeping on top of Moe too, even if it’s not daily.
I was blown away by all the creativity in the comment dungeon below the last comic. I would like to aggregate links to the fanart and creations in a news post. I was scared to read them for a while because I thought people would be raging, but my audience amazes me again. I hate that I abused your patience.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:52 am
Really though – no big.
Trees more creatively ripe
simply don’t exist.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:53 am
And I’ll add: welcome!
Take all the time you need, sir;
the fanbase can wait.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:57 am
Second addendum:
Though patient, my excitement
incites dribbling glee.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:58 am
Event horizon:
My first serial update
Has escaped from it!
\o/
September 4th, 2012 at 3:00 am
My first reaction
On seeing a different page:
Girlish squeeing. EEEEEEE!
September 4th, 2012 at 3:33 am
Ha ha, all this wait
And there is a word missing
In the dialogue
But don’t seek it now
I fixed my writing error
With Photoshop tricks
September 4th, 2012 at 9:57 am
One last little graph,
in honour of comments past.
Note the sharp upturn.
September 4th, 2012 at 10:02 am
Alas, our good Admiral shall never fail us! He merely teaches us to be patient and humble, for he shall always return a bounty from his long voyages.
September 4th, 2012 at 10:53 am
Holy &#$@, an update!
Haiku’s heart swells with happy-joy.
But deep sadness, why?
September 4th, 2012 at 10:54 am
The fated number.
The goaled one thousand, unreached.
What will Firman think?
September 4th, 2012 at 10:55 am
And how? The tablet…
…broken and out of use, no?
Admiral wonders.
September 4th, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Checking everyday.
Updates, why have you left me?
Long wait justified.
September 4th, 2012 at 1:40 pm
At last, he returns!
And there was much rejoicing.
And much pee stains, too.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Wow! I almost didn’t believe it! I love the new autumn color scheme. Praise be to the Forman! The pee stains probably come from all his 12yo soccer buddies.
September 4th, 2012 at 4:01 pm
I can’t express my joy. except… one moment…
September 4th, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Firman, I would say welcome back, but…
This is your home.
So better….
Thanks for inviting us all in.
I know too well the guilt that can build when many people are interested in a creation that you’ve made, but that you don’t have as much time for as you would like. (And the nasty cycle of “But now that it’s been so long, they will be expecting something truly grand. So I’ll have to wait until I’ve got better ideas…) I applaud you for overcoming any of that.
Finally, by definition you can’t abuse us as an audience. You’ve freely shared something that has entertained us all. So thank you for sharing your unique talents with us! Please continue to share whatever you would like as long as you are having fun. And try to avoid any habits of thought or action that make Moe feel like an obligation.
I really do admire your artistic style and the way you use it to express humor and wry comments on life. Thanks again for everything.
September 4th, 2012 at 9:26 pm
Hooray! I crashed!
Had to re-find page, new comic!
Felt like unreality.
Firman, Welcome home.
We admire Admiral.
I love what you make.
After our comments,
A different punchline is nice.
No raw fish and rice.
September 4th, 2012 at 9:31 pm
Raw fish and rice lives
Evermore within my heart,
And in my name: Carp!
September 4th, 2012 at 11:06 pm
I for one welcome
Raw fish and rice overlords
Ya, this joke is dead
September 4th, 2012 at 11:09 pm
Now that Firman reigns,
redundance is not needed.
Firman holds the reins!
September 4th, 2012 at 11:49 pm
YES. I’ve literally been checking the site EVERY DAY for updates. You’re the best, Firman, keep it going.
September 5th, 2012 at 1:34 am
Never stop the raw fish and rice.
September 5th, 2012 at 3:30 am
Raw fish and ROCK! *guitar solo*
Sorry for being the only one who was negative about your absence, Firman. I will follow you without question, Admiral.
By the way, anyone else having flashbacks to when Moe sh*t the bed?
September 5th, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Did someone say raw fish and rice?
September 5th, 2012 at 6:23 pm
This is the happiest day of my life! My wife has our first baby, and Michael Firman writes a new comic! What could possibly be better than this?
September 5th, 2012 at 8:17 pm
Finally I can relate to Moe!
Minus the pee. Ew.
September 5th, 2012 at 10:35 pm
Congratulations,
On your new baby, Philip.
I hope it’s named Moe.
September 5th, 2012 at 11:27 pm
Thanks to this comic,
Philip will now introduce:
Firman, the Godfather.
September 6th, 2012 at 1:33 am
Child birthed unto Phil
on the week of Moe’s return;
Stars align, joy reigns.
September 6th, 2012 at 1:34 am
Nimz brings smooth fan art
Whilst breathing life to a joke
that I won’t let go.
September 6th, 2012 at 1:44 am
Could someone hurry up and birth another child so that I can make the next comic?
September 6th, 2012 at 1:47 am
Four hundred, fifty
Grace this story’s artful fate.
Hats off, we thank you.
(Firman, no apologies needed. You bless others with your art; as that karma returns to you, it is well-deserved. We thank you for what you share and ask for no more. Do what you must; do what edifies you, as healing comes in art’s expression. Morever, quality trumps quantity-you’ve given us that already.)
September 6th, 2012 at 2:04 am
Ad: Fish seeking mate
to procreate, make children,
and inspire comics.
September 6th, 2012 at 2:07 am
I’ll be over by the castle-bar in my fish tank with my order of rice.
I’m waiting, ladyfish.
September 6th, 2012 at 3:54 am
The ‘raw fish and rice’
Was prepared from the last Moe -
Firman’s own letters.
One more confession:
‘Eat’ was formed from the ‘pee stains’.
Is that TMI?
September 6th, 2012 at 4:36 pm
So, Admiral Firman… Have you ever considered doing a Kickstarter campaign for a Moe game? I’ll program it for you.
September 6th, 2012 at 5:40 pm
>Press space repeatedly to avoid catastrophe.
>Just kidding your efforts just caused a much worse one.
September 6th, 2012 at 7:32 pm
Moe takes max damage.
Insta-survive requires food-
>eat raw fish and rice
September 7th, 2012 at 4:00 am
While fishing for rice,
The rawhide cowboy noted:
Moe’s bed needs turning.
September 7th, 2012 at 7:46 am
Yet moe’re reasons not to purchase used furniture from internet bulletin boards.
September 7th, 2012 at 7:57 pm
I second kickstarter.
No haiku.
Just so tired.
September 8th, 2012 at 2:15 am
If kickstarter starts,
I would donate two dollars.
Maybe more, in fact!
September 8th, 2012 at 2:57 am
You mean that you might
Even give two PLUS dollars
To Moe’s kickstarter?
Broken across lines,
Thoughts flow poorly for haiku.
Reference caught, though.
September 8th, 2012 at 9:16 am
All Bo’s college fund,
saved by Moe: $2+
Thank you scholarships.
September 8th, 2012 at 10:34 am
Bo now teaches here.
PhD little trouble.
Diet? Raw fish & rice.
September 8th, 2012 at 12:33 pm
I cast lines seaward,
passing time, waiting for Moe
while fishing off-shore.
September 8th, 2012 at 7:07 pm
I came here today to bitch about there still not being a new comic.
BUT NEVERMIND
September 8th, 2012 at 7:41 pm
Patience, my dear James,
Is the skill that brings new Moe.
complaints do not help.
September 9th, 2012 at 12:09 am
Comings and goings
of Moeseph resemble tides:
Gorgeous, natural.
September 9th, 2012 at 12:17 am
(As an aside though, I follow various webcomics; I admit to getting slightly sad when artists don’t update according to schedule for whatever reason, except for this comic. Not only is the art and dialogue constantly of high quality, the comment section community we’ve built is so great, I’m ok with waiting as long as it takes for updates to show up.
So, I encourage those irritated to join in with a comment. If you feel like you must voice disappointment, though, at least channel that into something positive, you know? Write a haiku if you’re into that, or whatever, there’s no pressure, just throwing that out there)
September 9th, 2012 at 10:19 pm
sure, if i have to.
though I don’t really want to,
I wrote a haiku
September 10th, 2012 at 12:33 am
Teh Bucket has earned
my eternal, undying
poetic respect.
September 10th, 2012 at 9:48 am
Wake up, drink green tea,
followed by a soft-boiled egg;
Then sit, write haikus.
September 10th, 2012 at 9:59 am
Haiku, or prose, or drunken limerick; post how ye wish it. Complaints, praises, recipies for lunches gone by. Pile these here, and high, to a mighty number. Just know that as the blinding light of the cursed daystar sears our retinas each day, so too shall Moe return to us. Good things come to those who will be patient and wait.
September 10th, 2012 at 4:57 pm
Oh happy day! I don’t have the mad skills like these guys to come up with a rhyme or Haiku so fast, but glad to see you back! And not just because it means more awesome free comics.
September 10th, 2012 at 6:00 pm
Acrid smoke wafting,
From some sick forest fire,
Into my bedroom.
September 10th, 2012 at 6:01 pm
Ash floating about,
Meandering in the wind,
Landing on my sill.
September 10th, 2012 at 6:02 pm
I jump and exclaim,
“Moe! Do you know what this means!?”
He just sinks in bed.
September 10th, 2012 at 6:03 pm
it smells of evil.
What to do about the fire?
Nimz: Battle menu!
September 10th, 2012 at 7:58 pm
> Retreat (no exit)
> Rejoice (NO! Bad pyro Nimz!)
> Relax (in Moe’s bed?)
September 10th, 2012 at 10:38 pm
>Nimz: summon Moe’s bed.
Moe’s bed shrinks past horizon.
raw fish takes damage.
September 11th, 2012 at 4:17 am
Rice unaffected.
Fish slightly cooked by fires.
Lunch salvageable.
September 11th, 2012 at 7:15 am
Behold, a scroll of Rain Dance!
September 11th, 2012 at 7:46 pm
Be-old, some-one rain!
From the havens to the hearths!
(Moe sucks at reading)
September 12th, 2012 at 7:53 am
The scroll hath failed us
Appease fire elementals
Offer your lighters
September 13th, 2012 at 12:15 am
What a horrible,
Horrible thought – Where is Bo?
Could Moe be ON him?
I would not put it past Moe
To pull off that kind of prank.
Not too absurd of a thank
For his fraternal hero:
Miniature brodope, Bo.
September 13th, 2012 at 1:49 pm
Daily update here.
Work is tiring. Complain.
But must keep up chin.
September 13th, 2012 at 5:04 pm
So sleepy today.
A nap’s the thing I need, but—
No sheets on the bed!
“Here are the clean sheets,”
My wife explains, “I’ve washed them.
You can make the bed.”
Quoting my hero,
“No! Beds are for relaxing.
They are not for chores.”
And now I’ve just learned,
A couch is relaxing too.
I’ll sleep there tonight.
September 13th, 2012 at 6:55 pm
Palindr‘moe’ is cool.
He knows what beds are for, too.
… And sometimes couches.
September 14th, 2012 at 12:57 am
Of beds and couches,
Palindr’moe’ got it correct.
Relaxing’s the way.
September 14th, 2012 at 10:46 am
Haiku rules = simple
hard to follow exactly.
an extra syllable?
Seriously, I wish I had something clever or witty to say, or a cool chart to share. But unfortunately I do not. I will take the easy way out and simply say ‘raw fish and rice’.
September 14th, 2012 at 4:47 pm
is = pronounced as an =
or does = not count as
syllable, haiku
September 16th, 2012 at 1:50 am
Brief post hiatus
perhaps precedes post windfall?
One can only hope.
September 16th, 2012 at 2:06 am
I’ll get back to you -
This bed is for relaxing,
Not for new comments.
September 16th, 2012 at 3:05 pm
Haiku: relaxing
As Mark Twain once said to me,
“don’t poem at work”
September 17th, 2012 at 12:21 am
Someone should join soon -
Naturally, be named Ku
For bad Haiku puns.
September 17th, 2012 at 7:27 am
Must buy a new bed
Though I shall flip the mattress
Hard work is my way
September 17th, 2012 at 2:30 pm
Avocado dreams,
With king-sized guacamole!
Real life is the pits.
September 17th, 2012 at 2:52 pm
haiku puns for Ku:
Greetings, Ku! no… HelloKu?
sudo-Ku, maybe?
September 17th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Sudo Ku reminds
Me of that Munroe comic
That goes something like…
Make me a sandwich!
No. Why not? You didn’t ask
For raw fish and rice.
September 17th, 2012 at 8:28 pm
I like my women
how I like my coffee, now,
Make me a sandwhich.
September 18th, 2012 at 2:10 pm
Here, have a Moeku.
It’s just like a real haiku,
but Moe wrote it.
September 18th, 2012 at 11:51 pm
Moe’s haikus? Totally wrong.
Moeku without form.
The Admiral weeps to sleep.
September 19th, 2012 at 10:20 pm
I like my women
How I like raw fish and rice;
Cold, moist and lifeless.
September 20th, 2012 at 3:42 am
I like my women
The way I like my women…
I just like women.
September 20th, 2012 at 7:22 am
I like my women
The way I take my coffee
ground up and scalded
September 20th, 2012 at 7:23 am
Black and bitter just didn’t have that magical fifth syllable, see …
September 20th, 2012 at 12:00 pm
Ways to drink coffee:
There are two alternatives -
There’s raw fish and rice.
How did that get there?
I meant to say black or else
Half coffee, half milk.
September 20th, 2012 at 11:53 pm
That seems an odd slip -
A fairly specific fault.
Tough coffee business.
September 21st, 2012 at 4:36 am
It’s a strange cafe,
But the better question is:
Where did that come from?
September 21st, 2012 at 6:24 am
The cafe over there.
It’s called “Raw Fish & Rice Cafe.”
They also serve tea.
September 21st, 2012 at 7:12 am
In light of the haiku-alanche, I present prose in a differing form. Ponder ye this old koan:
Once the monks of the eastern and western Zen halls in Nansen’s temple were
quarrelling about a cat. As he saw this, Nansen held up the cat and said,
“You monks! If one of you can say a word, I will not slay the cat.”
No one could answer, and thus Nansen cut the cat in two. Nansen told Joshu what had happened, and asked him for his view. Joshu thereupon took his sandals, put
them upon his head and went away.
Thus spake Nansen: “If you had been there, I could have spared the cat.”
September 22nd, 2012 at 4:47 am
I’m not very good at koan’s, but I’ll try one I was told a while back.
A man was looking for a mystery book.
He looked to Moe and said, “where do I find this?”
Moe responded, “when you can drink the river in a single gulp, you will find your section.”
September 22nd, 2012 at 5:10 am
Idgi in twofold.
But I guess koans do that -
I’m stuck on logic.
September 23rd, 2012 at 3:36 am
Someone steal one-hundred.
September 23rd, 2012 at 4:08 am
This is one hundred.
Though in binary it is
Actually four.
September 23rd, 2012 at 9:03 pm
A man ate his house.
When asked about it, he said,
“Breath is full of life.”
^^ My attempt at a haikoan. I… don’t really know if I’m even doing it right? It would appear this is the fifth binary comment, though.
September 24th, 2012 at 10:59 pm
A man wandered into a forest accompanied only by his trusting dog. He was seeking freedom from his poverty-stricken lifestyle by escaping into true independence.
As he survived in the wild he found it intensely difficult to procure food for himself and his canine companion. After several days of almost no nourishment, he had to decide whether or not to eat his poor, trusting friend.
In the end, he decided he would have been better off sticking with raw fish and rice.
September 25th, 2012 at 4:38 am
A haiku has come
To meet a completion need.
Not this haiku, though.
September 25th, 2012 at 9:26 am
I propose the following alternate dialog for this strip, using nothing but the original letters lovingly rearranged:
Moe, that nude ivory booger is crazy.
You’re thriving past the neon ski zone.
You look like the path of a devil avocado.
Just impale the TV fortress!
No! Beds are for Rhinoceros Tan Gel X.
I will not flip the patient!
I will not clean the seamstress!
September 25th, 2012 at 10:38 am
In honour of this strip rearranging, I concur with another dialog, and being much less creative, rearrange it in larger portions.
I will not clean the pee stains!
I will not flip over the mattress!
No!
Beds are for relaxing, not for chores.
Just flip the mattress over,
You look like the pit in a halved avocado.
Moe… that groove in your bed is crazy.
You’re sinking past the event horizon.
September 25th, 2012 at 2:32 pm
That’s even more impressive than a koan.
This is a new game I must try.
Fake haiku not meant to troll.
September 25th, 2012 at 10:04 pm
An extra for today. Must keep the comments on a roll.
September 25th, 2012 at 10:26 pm
A boy grew up listening and loving rock and roll. He ate nothing but the bread that restaurants left on tables.
When he grew older, and his beard was as long as his hair, he began enscribing his wisdom in ketchup upon every piece of restaurant bread he came upon.
Unfortunately, when he started writing these information thoughts on tables, chairs, plates, and waitresses, he was informed that he “Must keep the comments on a roll”
September 26th, 2012 at 5:02 am
The new menu came!
Raw fish and rice replaced by…..
Raw fish, rice, and rolls!
It’s truly a marvel of modern convenience to have comment carriages juxtaposed with sashimi.
September 27th, 2012 at 2:27 pm
There once was a man
who named his one paintbrush ‘Dan’,
but it was a crayon.
September 28th, 2012 at 3:03 am
Your party of two
Chance encounters a mattress.
Moe takes light damage.
(you know, ’cause he’s sinking past the event horizon… light… nevermind.)
September 28th, 2012 at 7:13 am
A mattress draws nigh! You have been surprised! Mattress gains first attack!
Mattress uses ‘Envelop’. Attack success, back line caster ‘Moe’ is trapped!
MENU – PLAYER 1
>ATTACK >DEFEND
>SPELL >ITEM
>SHIRK >WHINGE
>COMPOSE HAIKU
September 28th, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Something tells me that Moe couldn’t get out of that bed even if he tried.
September 29th, 2012 at 1:19 am
Oh no, Moe can’t go!
Will he be forever trapped?
We’ll find out next time!
September 30th, 2012 at 2:33 am
I need to learn GIF
This art is magic come true.
But, yet, in motion.
September 30th, 2012 at 2:41 am
I don’t know the rules -
Does Moe get a saving throw?
Bet he rolls snake eyes.
_ _
|•| |•|
¯ ¯
September 30th, 2012 at 2:42 am
And that is formatting gone awry. Forgot the eating of spaces thing would happen. >_<
September 30th, 2012 at 10:10 pm
Yeah, making art via text is difficult here. Why does it eat spaces? Why does Moe hate spaces?
October 1st, 2012 at 12:56 am
It might be mattress.
It has event horizon.
It eats the spaces?
October 1st, 2012 at 6:12 pm
I’ve been laying low
Who the heck knows why? Not me.
I’m still around, though.
October 2nd, 2012 at 5:07 pm
Carp’s been laying low.
A dange’rous occupation,
As he should well know.
Experience proves:
Laying low’s the foundation
Of bad mattress grooves.
With sincerity,
I plead, “Flee gravitation’s
Singularity!”
October 4th, 2012 at 10:35 am
Eleven, when squared,
Was the post count for a day.
Too much relaxing?
Rectification!
Inspiration for new posts!
This is what we need.
There’s something in mind
I have for the next fan art…
Moe turned on its side.
We’ll see if mangas
Can capture the Moe essence
If I don’t give up.
October 4th, 2012 at 1:12 pm
I got the next Moe all roughed out, it’s eight panels and features lots of old favourite characters. But I don’t know if I’ll get it done in time before I head away for the THNAKSGIVIG WEEKNED. So either really soon or pretty soon!
October 4th, 2012 at 1:18 pm
I want to go on a Thnaksgivig weekned….
October 5th, 2012 at 1:34 am
Thnaksgivig;
My favorite holiday.
Such a merry time.
October 5th, 2012 at 3:36 am
Weekneds should be full
Of jyo, hop, and thnaksgivig;
Constantly thankful.
We must celebrate
This festively themed event
With raw fish and rice.
October 5th, 2012 at 1:59 pm
thank Canadians.
Now we get two thanksgivings.
Hurray! more turkey!
October 5th, 2012 at 4:17 pm
Hooray! Great news! I hope the new strip will have toothabootha and cement bag head…
October 6th, 2012 at 4:52 am
Surely Officers Mallay and Dumpty will feature prominently in the next strip. Perhaps with a slightly smaller deadness attribute. . .
Officer Mallay
Along with partner, Dumpty,
Fit ‘old favourites’.
October 6th, 2012 at 7:21 am
Glad to hear from you, admiral. Was beginning to worry this was becoming a moenthly webcomic.
October 6th, 2012 at 2:03 pm
But all 8 panels
are nothing but them eating
thanksgiving dinner.
October 6th, 2012 at 6:10 pm
For some reason, I’m envisioning The Last Supper with Moe in the middle surrounded by Bo, Grandpa, Elliot, Heckling Clown, the sitting ducks, etc.
October 7th, 2012 at 12:39 am
In Firman’s honour,
here, the aforementioned scene.
no blasphemy meant.
http://i.imgur.com/B4D89.jpg
October 7th, 2012 at 1:13 am
VIEWED.
LIKED.
SAVED.
October 8th, 2012 at 3:32 am
Moe waits as we all
Do. Watching the Admiral seas.
Sail home, Captain Bo.
October 8th, 2012 at 5:45 am
Wow, this is like a magical wish machine! I envision something and it comes to life! OK, um, OK…. I envision myself with . . . ONE MILLION DOLLARS! *looks around* Dang, that didn’t work.
Teh_Bucket, awesome work! I love how Grandpa is aloofly ignoring the whole scene by playing cards with someone off-scene… classic.
October 8th, 2012 at 10:00 am
cut/pastes Firman’s work.
now doramjam’s wish is mine:
my million bucks.
October 9th, 2012 at 8:34 am
Lovely work, if slightly blasphemous. Perhaps the Almighty will smile upon it, for He has created the platypus and in so doing has demonstrated His divine sense of humor.
October 10th, 2012 at 10:37 pm
will not flip mattress.
will not clean out the pee stains.
will not do blaspheme.
October 11th, 2012 at 2:07 am
To do list today:
Cook rice and feed to the fish.
Check. Flip bed. Uncheck.
October 11th, 2012 at 10:01 am
found coins in the couch.
What fortunes lie in mattress?
too bad, won’t find out.
October 12th, 2012 at 2:19 am
Moe won’t move. Yet. Still.
It is our only bed, Moe.
I am so very tired.
October 12th, 2012 at 12:35 pm
Still a WIP, but this is the germ of the idea I had. Still haven’t figured out what Moe responds with, but probably something along the lines of being put out for toture. Eliot is so insensitive to Moe’s needs.
Here it is.
October 12th, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Though it isn’t there,
I am seeing Moe slide down.
I guess he can’t fall.
October 12th, 2012 at 3:08 pm
Glorious work, nimz.
The second panel is great.
Original, too.
October 13th, 2012 at 5:46 am
I know Moe’s response!
He’s distressed at not looking
Like raw fish and rice!
October 15th, 2012 at 2:01 am
Bought my own tablet –
Perhaps soon I will make art
and be like Firman.
(kind of)
October 16th, 2012 at 3:09 am
Carp, I look forward
Your art in the distance there
Behind Lord Firman
October 16th, 2012 at 6:39 pm
Is it really soon or pretty soon yet?
October 16th, 2012 at 7:42 pm
I’ve actually decided to try to come up with something different as the next strip – the one I had going with the old characters wound up being insensitive because of something that has come up in the news. I’ll still use it, but later.
I actually care less about the idea that it’d be insensitive and more about the idea that people would think I’m trying to comment on current events!
October 17th, 2012 at 2:08 am
One hundred and fifty one
gotta moe them all!
October 17th, 2012 at 2:20 am
There’s a thing called news?
You mean media are used
For things not quite Moe?
I don’t pay any attention to the news or current events, so I wouldn’t know if you were commenting on them or not unless it was blatantly pointed out. But I can see where you’re coming from. At least you’ve got a guaranteed ringer already in place for some time in the yet to come.
October 17th, 2012 at 2:26 am
I am eager for
Moe’s insensitiviy.
Does that make me bad?
October 18th, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Awws, shoot. All I’ll be able to think about is which eventual comic Firman is talking about, and with which news event it would be considered insensitive.
Let me practice… The current strip about the bed and the event horizon is insensitive to English Mastiff owners.. see this CNN video.
October 18th, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Firman is the best
When it comes to politics.
Moe for president!
October 18th, 2012 at 2:05 pm
Politics do not
matter in our daily Moe.
Bo for president!
October 18th, 2012 at 10:31 pm
Comic shelved, dormant.
Moments begging satire shall
call it forth again.
October 20th, 2012 at 2:27 am
Sparcity beckons;
Haikus minimal through time
Nestled amongst days.
October 20th, 2012 at 2:28 am
(still got it)
October 21st, 2012 at 6:37 am
We patiently wait
Firman will not disappoint
In his own good time
October 21st, 2012 at 10:37 am
To flex a muscle
is to avoid atrophy;
Working out word skill.
October 21st, 2012 at 3:59 pm
I will attempt to make 2 haikus, one with the fewest words possible, and one with the fewest letters possible.
Animosity
Disintermediation
Coagulation
(three word haiku)
Lo, Moe is no go
Bo, no Moe, also no go
Go Moe! And go Bo!
(36 letter haiku if I counted right)
Can anyone beat that?
October 21st, 2012 at 7:26 pm
(I have to admit, I can’t stop loving the haiku throw-downs. How has this not infected the rest of the internet?)
October 22nd, 2012 at 1:53 am
Haiku mystery:
Uninfected internet -
How did that happen?
October 22nd, 2012 at 2:00 am
A so-so hobo; (9)
To go so so-so, why so? (15)
Hobo! Obey law. (11)
For a total of 35. Perhaps a point deduction for not being Moe-centric, but hey, I did what I could.
October 22nd, 2012 at 2:05 am
Minimal letters
to stretch imaginations
beyond shapes pallid.
October 22nd, 2012 at 12:31 pm
Dearest W, (8)
My idea is as a (11)
Boa on fire. (9)
28. The use of a single letter for three syllables is a bit cheap, though. In the spirit of rectification, here is an alternate first line with same letter count:
“I am a hobo.”
October 22nd, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Some other good words for letter reducitation and syllable maxification:
Io (2/2), area (3/4), cameo (3/5), alien (3/5). Apparently Iouea (4/5) is a genus of Cretaceous fossil sponges.
October 22nd, 2012 at 12:59 pm
Let’s put some of those to immediate use, shall we?
Io area
Iouea cameo -
My Moe idea.
6+10+9 = 25
Maybe Jetpack Hunk gets them there.
October 23rd, 2012 at 7:11 am
I shall not haiku
for prose is my chosen means
to project my thoughts …
ah crap
October 23rd, 2012 at 10:42 am
Little does Fren know,
haikus are omnipresent,
there is no escape.
October 23rd, 2012 at 2:00 pm
(cue evil laugh)
October 23rd, 2012 at 2:02 pm
Also, props to Nimz;
May your penchant for verbal
contortions shine on.
October 23rd, 2012 at 2:03 pm
(cont’Moe’rtions, that is)
October 25th, 2012 at 1:38 am
Stone-silent day spent
Away from our screens, elsewhere;
To where shall we stay?
October 25th, 2012 at 7:17 am
Our vigil, maintained
Eyes scan seaward, foggy views
Our Admiral, lost
October 26th, 2012 at 9:35 am
We’re almost up to
a quarter of the comments
from the last comic
(176 / 723 = 0.2434)
October 26th, 2012 at 12:24 pm
I made a haiku,
And left it here in my mind.
Now I can’t find it.
Maybe it will show
Where I least expect it to.
Should make a mind map.
October 26th, 2012 at 11:49 pm
A mind map? What of?
Would it show your dreams? Or fears?
Beware where you look.
October 28th, 2012 at 12:34 pm
Next strip split in half,
launched into future and past.
Let’s try and find it!
I think we need math.
who knows a ‘Moe’fficient?
I must have forgot.
Chemistry may help.
6×10^23
represents one ‘Moe’le.
October 28th, 2012 at 1:20 pm
I believe your ‘Moe’le
Will be found short by over
Two hexillion.
In terms of percent,
That’s under point three seven,
So I’ll let it slide.
October 28th, 2012 at 1:48 pm
counting syllables,
six-times-ten-to-the-two-three
I think that should “count”.
October 28th, 2012 at 8:35 pm
WWMD? What would Moe do to prepare for a hurricane?
October 28th, 2012 at 9:40 pm
Moe ties himself down
to a large, heavy object.
In this case, himself.
October 28th, 2012 at 9:51 pm
earthworm winnow ginned
Traceback (most recent call last):
File “MakeHaiku.py”, line 27, in
print(getLine(7))
File “MakeHaiku.py”, line 8, in getLine
idx = random.randint(0,len(words[toGet])-1)
IndexError: list index out of range
October 28th, 2012 at 9:52 pm
isostatic width
unestablishable mag
unscheming redfish
October 29th, 2012 at 3:46 am
Six zero two starts
Avogadro’s phone number.
Then, one oh two three.
HG 4000…
I will wait for 9000:
Too many bugs now.
October 29th, 2012 at 2:28 pm
isostatic, though,
is a strong, profound statement.
redfish: a tribute.
October 29th, 2012 at 9:58 pm
embracing my roots,
Bagpipe music full volume.
Annoys the roomate.
October 31st, 2012 at 2:13 am
Equilibrium.
Complete temporal balance.
Entropy has won.
The mind in chaos
Steadily drifts to order.
Take that, thermo-D.!
A curt refusal,
Negligence of social norms…
We’ll call it a draw.
October 31st, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Thermos! : D
entropy for sad friend.
terms misunderstood.
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:50 am
Going away soon,
A brief overseas sojourn;
Go on without me.
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:51 am
Perhaps I’ll swim free
In waters more tropical;
Rejuvenation
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:51 am
(there was meant to be a period at the end of that last word there, DANGNABBIT)
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:54 am
Dropped puncuation;
How can this fish be redeemed?
Work towards Moe praise.
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:57 am
The archives run deep,
undercurrents of comments;
sleepy river flows –
Although the site slows,
activity continues:
Onwards and upwards!
Inspiration born
from readings of the author’s
high hilarity.
November 2nd, 2012 at 2:00 am
So I rhapsodize
and harp (poetically?) on;
brief repose revives.
November 2nd, 2012 at 3:02 am
Man am I hungry.
Perhaps airborne I’ll find some
raw fish and rice meals.
November 3rd, 2012 at 3:13 am
Everyone so kind.
Won’t steal the coveted 2-0
0. I ran out of….
November 3rd, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Hello, 200!
in honour of your roundness,
Moe in Hurricane.
http://i.imgur.com/pBru9.gif
November 4th, 2012 at 3:15 am
What a lovely pic
Of a 3D Moe for the
Bicental comment.
Collision detect!
Moe and bed overlapping!
A cyclone of sleep?
November 5th, 2012 at 12:47 am
A bit late, but here’s a haiku on the topic of changing of clocks.
Daylight Saving Time -
Change the clocks twice every year:
Spring forward, Fall back.
November 5th, 2012 at 3:05 am
Moe has no regard
For the changing of the clocks:
All times are bedtime.
November 5th, 2012 at 3:01 pm
Computer errors-
daylight savings came early.
Oh, look at the time!
November 5th, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Firman, as a Canadian, I just wanted to say I appreciate your admiration for our beloved Prime Minister. Thanks for keepin it fresh.
November 6th, 2012 at 9:51 am
Nov 6th has come, yo.
Time to get voting, Americans.
Canadians welcome.
November 6th, 2012 at 9:52 am
(You don’t get to vote though)
November 6th, 2012 at 6:00 pm
It is a bit late,
If you’re voting out of state.
oh yeah, Halo four.
November 7th, 2012 at 6:52 am
Four more beers?
November 7th, 2012 at 8:31 am
Nimz, do you not love the Chief-Master?
November 7th, 2012 at 3:30 pm
I heard the outcome
of yesterday’s election
on The Daily Show.
Halo is Halo.
Hasn’t changed much since game 1.
But it sure looks nice.
November 7th, 2012 at 3:36 pm
I… am not sure if you’re referring to politics or Halo. Yeah, I’m that sheltered in my ivory tower of mathematics.
If it’s politics, I didn’t even look at the US election results until just a moment ago. I was just making a pun on the common chant for those that support incumbents. Whether the beers are celebratory or inebriatory in purpose is irrelevant to the pun I was making.
If it’s Halo, I’ve never played any of the series, so if there is a character called Chief-Master there, I have no opinion due to lack of any relevant knowledge.
And so I don’t stray too far out of form, I shall append this relevant haiku.
Ivory towers
Insulate academics
From reality.
November 7th, 2012 at 9:34 pm
If there ever was a haiku with a relevant introduction, I just read it.
November 9th, 2012 at 2:17 am
Anyone tried Halo yet?
Not a Haiku.
Just a Moe’ku, in three parts.
November 9th, 2012 at 3:19 pm
Roommate got the 4.
Haven’t played it myself, though,
cuz of the bagpipes.
November 11th, 2012 at 3:21 am
i have finally returned after almost a year of not having a functioning computer. and i find moe has had a metaphorical orgy of updating. this is most good. although this latest one dates back a bit i am still in a righteous mood about the whole thing. also good to see haiku still doing his haiku thing along with mr carp. i haven’t been here since the late great superduck and gregory power combo of 2010 and 11. those boys were something special. anyway here i am getting all old and sentimental an’ such, forgive this old fool for caring too much :’)
November 11th, 2012 at 12:44 pm
Back from vacation
In time to hail the return
Of Omi! Whaddup!
November 11th, 2012 at 12:47 pm
The Moe’kus, constant.
Infinite fractal spirals
of poems abound.
November 12th, 2012 at 6:39 am
nothing much my boy,
just chillin, killin, and such
boring haiku go!!
November 13th, 2012 at 12:30 am
Like the pit in a halved avocado… such a perfect description.
November 14th, 2012 at 8:26 am
Pee stains still extant
Mattress flipping, not a thing
Static Moe, breathless.
November 14th, 2012 at 8:27 am
And welcome back, Omi! Nice to see an old face about.
November 14th, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Fren, does that mean Moe has finally found the love interest that takes his breath away? Who knew it would be as simple as a finding the right matress!
November 15th, 2012 at 9:24 am
Nimz, as always, the key to love and mattresses is simply size. Though many and more go for the queen sized bed, trust in me on this: a full is big enough to share, yet small enough that sharing is fun.
But, as goes, Moe shall never find love so long as he’s displaying urine stains upon his mattress.
November 17th, 2012 at 4:02 pm
I can sympathise -
Moe doesn’t have the stomach
To face the new day.
Except, the day isn’t all that new anymore.
November 18th, 2012 at 3:28 am
Waking up, tricky –
Especially when the bed
holds with iron hands.
November 18th, 2012 at 3:30 am
Boredom in excess
prevents movement and hygiene;
Dang! I can relate.
November 18th, 2012 at 3:32 am
Late nights, faint odours,
Sleeping white mass, lack of vim;
Thus lies our hero.
November 18th, 2012 at 3:33 am
Now too will I sleep
My bed inviting, cozy;
The deep pit beckons.
November 18th, 2012 at 3:34 am
(perhaps that first line could have used a punctuation mark at its end, whatever, this is poetry, not an op-ed for the NYT)
November 18th, 2012 at 3:35 am
(anyways, good night y’all)
November 18th, 2012 at 3:38 am
Wonder what Moe plays
before decamping to bed;
I favour Eno.
November 20th, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Haikus gather dust
in a pile slowly swelling;
Where have you all gone?
November 20th, 2012 at 8:25 pm
Important exams:
Studying subverts from Five,
Seven, Five writing.
November 20th, 2012 at 8:45 pm
Topology soon.
If I fail topology,
I’ll need a new job.
So yeah, just a little bit o’ stress going into December. Kinda wish I could get by with the habits Moe displays in this comic.
November 21st, 2012 at 1:45 am
Exams are for wimps.
I don’t need to study yet!
Delusion is great.
November 21st, 2012 at 4:04 am
stress fades to nothing after a week of living on nothing but coco pops, scotch, and beef jerky. i am suffering from malnutrition and awesomeness
November 21st, 2012 at 12:37 pm
Omi, perhaps awesomeness is suffering from you?
November 23rd, 2012 at 9:21 am
Omi causes no adjective to suffer. i resent all implications, good, bad or otherwise. i think i need vegetables and some water. help
November 23rd, 2012 at 11:41 am
Omi, I am obliged to point out that “awesomeness” is not an adjective, but a noun. I hope you weren’t studying for an English test!
November 23rd, 2012 at 11:44 am
Does anyone want to start a Kickstarter project to get Firman to post the next comic?
November 23rd, 2012 at 4:01 pm
Awesomeness, the noun,
Suffered from overdosing
On its own awesome.
The kickstarter plan
Has one fatal flaw to it:
It lacks a ‘Moe’ pun.
November 23rd, 2012 at 8:48 pm
ah so it is, my mistake. i find patience and other peoples haikus to be the best way to get sir firman posting comics again. but out of curiosity how would the moe-pun-less kickstarter project work
November 26th, 2012 at 4:22 am
Thank you, Brothers, for keeping the faith.
November 28th, 2012 at 6:08 pm
A Moe kickstarter
Would basically be a bribe
for the Admiral
November 28th, 2012 at 9:09 pm
The Admiral is
a man incapable of
most basic bribery
November 28th, 2012 at 9:10 pm
(Trust me, I’ve tried)
November 29th, 2012 at 3:02 pm
(Oh, my god, how I’ve tried)
November 29th, 2012 at 4:06 pm
What’s going on?
November 30th, 2012 at 3:49 am
(I’ve try all the time)
November 30th, 2012 at 3:49 am
(In this institution…)
November 30th, 2012 at 2:01 pm
I see. (And I pray)
We’re doing “What’s Up” now. (Oh
My god, do I pray…)
December 2nd, 2012 at 10:15 am
Bedflip petition:
(I pray every single day
For revolution)
December 2nd, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Thank you everyone for staying tuned! And Doramjan for his bribery support ( I still owe him something fantastic )
I’m not going to say any excuses! I’m just going to get back into a Moe routine, but not as frequent as the beginning of 2012. We’ll see how I manage!
Let’s arrange a firm date, even though mid-December to the new year will spell trouble for a schedule. New Moe strip by December 4th, or else everyone has to post mean haikus about me.
December 2nd, 2012 at 11:13 pm
A new Firman post!
Only three months between Moes.
A deadline is set.
December 3rd, 2012 at 4:07 am
(So all we had to was start singing? I would have started singing a long time ago!)
December 3rd, 2012 at 2:13 pm
“Hold the phone!” “What’s wrong?”
“It won’t send or receive calls!”
We have … a dead line. 8)
I’ll be back at morrow, hopefully a bit wittier.
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:44 pm
December 4th is
Almost a line of haiku;
and a line of dead.
December 3rd, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Manna from on high!
News of new comic trickles
out. Or does it ooze?
December 3rd, 2012 at 6:12 pm
Let’s take this moment
to update the Moe Wiki.
Poo poop oop poo-oops.
http://moecomic.wikia.com
December 4th, 2012 at 12:07 am
A new day begins.
I find myself unable
To hate on Firman.
Do I lack mean genes?
If writing not-mean things counts,
The answer is No.
December 4th, 2012 at 1:25 am
Nimz, fear not, Sir.
The Admiral has time yet.
December 4th, full.
December 4th, 2012 at 2:57 am
Yeah unfortunately it looks like it’s going to take the 4th to make it, since the 3rd has unexpectedly been a bust. I’m so rusty, I just hope I don’t end up with something entirely lacklustre. 2AM – I need to go sleep!
December 4th, 2012 at 5:54 am
Iron oxide foe:
Adversary Moe will face?
Ruddy and willing.
December 4th, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Man, I’m starting to feel incapable of making things :C
When is this lull going to end?
This remains my best idea so far, but still seems kind of dark for the official archives, I don’t know: http://www.firmanproductions.com/latrine/abandmoened.gif
December 4th, 2012 at 4:59 pm
With Firman’s sketch,
The lull is terminated
Without prejudice.
Seriously, Admiral Firman, whether or not you decide to do anything
more with that sketch or include it in the archives, I am so glad you
shared it. I really can’t recall having ever laughed so much at any
other comic you’ve written. This one is truly brilliant and one of your
best in my opinion.
If this reflects the state of nearly-rejected ideas, please keep sharing!
December 4th, 2012 at 5:07 pm
Unchanging comic
Rewards repeated viewings
With laughter anew.
I can’t help it. The final punchline panel should have lost its punch for me
by now, since, having read it over and over, I know the ending. But I still
laugh out loud every time I look at it. Comedy genius.
December 4th, 2012 at 9:37 pm
Status: Engaging
Hostile Judgment mode. Not found:
Mode set to Tasty.
I am the candy gun. It is me. xD
December 5th, 2012 at 2:59 am
No comic arrives,
Yet I find myself sated;
best back catalogue.
December 5th, 2012 at 3:01 am
Short advice: don’t push!
Practice, get into a groove,
Post when satisfied.
December 5th, 2012 at 9:15 am
“Get into a groove”?
Of the Event-Horizon-
Swallowing-Bed type?
December 5th, 2012 at 10:39 am
Oh Admiral, you need not worry yourself. No matter what form Moe takes, we have always enjoyed it. To quote you from earlier this year:
Firman
March 7th, 2012 at 9:05 am
What if I just end up having a terrible month this year? Like all of June, the punchlines are about how much Moe hates Mondays & how much he wants some coffee. Can you forgive me? Will you forgive me?!
Please don’t leave me.
I can’t face Mondays alone.
Face your fears, Admiral! You aren’t alone. We’re all in this together.
December 5th, 2012 at 10:48 am
Alright, yes, I shall grant you, the remainder of us merely consume the content you provide. However, I think it of note that we’re all very sweet, kind, supportive and decent folk that never, ever chide you about anything. So, really, just throw down how you’d like. Schedule or no!
December 5th, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Some orange residue
Delays Moe leaving his bed.
Rust? or Moe’s pee stains?
December 5th, 2012 at 2:57 pm
ewwww, orange pee? eeeewwww
Not touching *THAT* bed again.
Liver condition?
December 5th, 2012 at 9:44 pm
The pee need not be
As deep a colour, you see,
As the stains, indeed.
Also, orange urine would not be as bad as reddish brown urine. o_o
December 5th, 2012 at 10:35 pm
Pee of some colors?
Find a doctor, here or sea.
Wait. Better not here.
December 6th, 2012 at 1:42 am
Proud of his rainbow,
urine-stained in his bedsheets,
Moe refuses chores.
I don’t even want to know how he gets the blue or violet. (O-O)
December 6th, 2012 at 2:20 pm
Food coloring, yes?
Or maybe he eats lead paint?
So many choices.
December 6th, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Food colouring would be more natural, but I am not sold on its efficacy, unless applied rather late in the *ahem* process. Also,
The lead paint option
Sounds much more in character
Than use of food dyes.
December 8th, 2012 at 8:41 pm
One wonders whether Mister Moe
has ever considered becoming
a practitioner of Zen philosophy.
Back-of-the-envelope calculations suggest
this would be instant comedy gold.
December 9th, 2012 at 3:26 am
I think Moe, like most things in his life, would get it wrong.
December 9th, 2012 at 3:26 am
But suddenly, I realize, -can- someone get zen wrong? Or is that the true zen?
December 9th, 2012 at 10:10 am
One could also say
Moe achieved his zazen state
When he went 3D.
He even had some koans preceding his 3D fan art. It all makes so much sense! At least, to this mind that is still bound up in rational thought…
December 9th, 2012 at 11:10 am
A Moe comic on the cutting room floor
Leaves fans patiently waiting for more.
For though Firman’s rusty,
In time we trust he
Will find his groove for Moe comics galore.
December 10th, 2012 at 4:10 am
I really want to see more of the 3D art. Angry Moe was hilarious.
December 11th, 2012 at 1:21 pm
New Moe! Moe Anew!
Sure, it’s “just” a sketch, but hey,
it still made me laugh!
December 11th, 2012 at 2:07 pm
More 3D then? well,
Just like Moe, I have finals.
It frustrates us both.
http://i.imgur.com/grKt8.gif
December 14th, 2012 at 12:10 pm
We crossed the threshold.
One Hundred days since new Moe.
Can’t wait hundred more…
December 17th, 2012 at 3:05 am
Can always wait one hundred hundred less.
December 17th, 2012 at 3:26 pm
Comments in a lull
Conversation spurs new Moe.
Ummmm, raw fish and rice?
http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/1531/moecomments.png
December 17th, 2012 at 4:14 pm
And here’s a word cloud
Showing all the comment text
Since September 4th
http://img338.imageshack.us/img338/5914/moewordcloud.png
December 17th, 2012 at 4:38 pm
MOE in hex equals 4D4F45
4D4F45 as a color equals http://www.colorhexa.com/4d4f45.png
And that color would actually fit surprisingly well in the current web page color scheme!
December 18th, 2012 at 5:27 am
Doramjan, the graphs and charts are beautiful, as always. The comment count tracker graph looks rather like a sideways parabola, or a square root function. Perhaps a regression curve could be drawn to extrapolate.
How did I get so big in the word cloud? I guess I could reread some of the comments from the start…
… okay, I’m back. And I found out the real reason Moe hasn’t updated yet, and why the good Admiral Firman is having artist’s block. There hasn’t been another child born since the week of Moe #450. Experts are baffled at the global population actually declining over the past three months.
I suspect any three letters when converted to hex, and the hex code converted to colour would tend to be dark greyish. This does not negate the fact that <color=MOE> would fit nicely with the current web page colour scheme.
Doramjan breathes life
Into the stagnant comments
With cool graphs and charts.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:36 am
That’s a big Moe.
December 18th, 2012 at 12:36 pm
Nimz, you’re absolutely right that pretty much all the ASCII values for words would make about the same shades of dark gray, but not all names translate to the exact length hex value for a color
Moe is only 3 letters so it works great!
But there are differences! For example, NIM->hex->color looks like this:
http://www.colorhexa.com/4e494d.png
which is grayer than the greenish color of Moe->hex->color:
http://www.colorhexa.com/4d4f45.png
December 18th, 2012 at 4:41 pm
And the color of Moe is dark grey, like his heart.
December 19th, 2012 at 5:58 am
I feel like there were more posts inbetween these. Did I miss something? Were they somehow deleted?
December 20th, 2012 at 5:41 am
I don’t recall seeing any posts that got eaten up. Maybe it was a dream? Speaking of dreams, a haiku happened in an IRC channel I visit that could be tangentially relevant here, too, so I’ll say it again:
Life is but a dream.
For some it is lucid dreams.
Others have nightmares.
December 20th, 2012 at 6:29 am
who would make a better Santa Clause: Grandpa, Jetpack Hunk, or Eliot? discuss.
December 20th, 2012 at 8:47 am
d’oh.. no E in Claus
December 21st, 2012 at 4:45 am
Grandpa would make the best Santa Clause.
Jetpack Hunk would be best Santa Clause.
But what would poor Moe be? He’s no grinch, but nor is he a reindeer. He needs a role.
December 21st, 2012 at 4:53 am
Moe would fill the role of the lump of coal in the stocking?
…
Ummmn, is it too late to get on Santa’s bad list if that’s the case?
December 21st, 2012 at 9:08 am
Stand your ground, lads. Scan the foggy shores, for the times nears. Saint Admiral Firman shall come and launch new comics down the exhaust ports of our dwellings. He shall! HE IS REAL DAMN IT.
December 21st, 2012 at 12:53 pm
Yes, DORAMJAN, there is an Admiral Firman. He exists as certainly as wordplay and multi-layered artwork and sarcasm exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Admiral Firman. It would be as dreary as if there were no INTERNETS. There would be no childlike exclamations of POO! then, no haikus, no comments to make tolerable the inevitable waiting between comics. We should have no enjoyment in either point or click. The eternal light with which Moe fills the world would be extinguished.
December 23rd, 2012 at 2:33 am
Speak not of such things, Palindr’moe.’ Let us never give up hope. The apocalypse has come and gone but the seas are still waving. So does the Admiral still sail and we must wait until the winds of change bring him back to us.
December 23rd, 2012 at 3:14 pm
This end of the world is so dull.
December 24th, 2012 at 8:29 am
A joyous Crimbo’s Eve to you all. Keep the light burning and your eyes turned seaward!
December 24th, 2012 at 10:00 pm
no Christmas for MOE this year, must have been a bad MOE
December 24th, 2012 at 10:18 pm
Merry season’s days, folks!
Which I don’t say to be secular, but because I like phrasing things in silly new ways. I am out on the family gathering tour with only my laptop, but I am hoping I can still make a strip if I could just end this damn creative block!
December 25th, 2012 at 12:19 am
We had it all wrong! The Admiral is not lost at sea but, in fact, beached! We must bombard him with the rain of new ideas – leave nothing out – so a tide of bad humor and good fortune may wash him back to our tiny island!
December 25th, 2012 at 10:50 am
Bo, Bo, Bo! Moe’rry Christmas!
December 25th, 2012 at 11:04 am
Moe’rry Christmas!
December 25th, 2012 at 10:25 pm
poo Christmas oop poo!
Merry season’s days oop oop!
opo Glad tidings!
December 26th, 2012 at 7:22 pm
I can’t believe it.
I forgot ‘raw fish and rice’
Until Boxing Day.
My haiku last night could have been that much more epic. * sigh *
December 26th, 2012 at 11:47 pm
Nimz, I think your futile and inept struggle for epicness is PERFECTLY suited for Moe
I consider an artfully crafted tribute to all that is Moe.
December 26th, 2012 at 11:51 pm
(I of course use “futile and inept struggle” in its kindest and most complimentary meaning)
December 27th, 2012 at 3:29 pm
This is the Christmas season, so we’re all more than a little tired. Who else got snow? Snow in droves? Snow whiter than Moe?
December 29th, 2012 at 3:26 pm
What did Moe ever do for work? As in, how does Moe earn money? Thoughts?
December 29th, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Moe worked at Best Pie,
But then he stopped working there.
Then he went to jail.
Upon his release,
Moe just lazes in his bed
With raw fish and rice.
January 1st, 2013 at 6:53 am
Have a blessed New Year, every’Moe’dy!
Twenty-thirteen starts.
Raw fish and rice in our mouths,*
Hope reigns eternal.
*as in saying ‘raw fish and rice’ frequently. Actually eating rf&r is also permissable.
January 2nd, 2013 at 1:10 am
Hey guys! Randomly joining!
Happy New Year, all!
Firman: you underestimate just how much I’m loving these German jokes. I’ve been teaching myself the language for about six months now! Sie ist meine Lieblings-Sprache!
Seriously, though, let’s have conversations in German. Please?
January 2nd, 2013 at 1:13 am
It’s Caladhiel again, but this is my Russian prostitute name.
So guys help me out here: should I be Caladhiel, Elf-Queen of Green/Mirkwood, or should I be Svetlana, Russian prostitute/Ivan Drago’s girlfriend?
January 2nd, 2013 at 6:54 am
тебя лучше назвать Светланой
January 2nd, 2013 at 8:46 am
Doramjan … are you trying to tell me that I scored a Tetris?
January 2nd, 2013 at 11:26 am
be caladlana the elf prostitute of Mirkingrad. in other news, i hope everyone had a joyous season of celebration, and i wish lord firman all the best in crush the ruinous forces of creative block.
January 3rd, 2013 at 6:01 am
So… Admiral Firman needs to score a creative Tetris?
January 3rd, 2013 at 7:46 am
Fren, in soviet russia, TETЯIS scores you!!
January 3rd, 2013 at 9:19 am
Yes, I think this shall work as an allegory. The tetrads are the mental detritus of our dear Admiral’s block. We must work to clear them away, line by line, so that the spice may flow once again.
Derp, just mixed metaphors. In an allegory. Not gonna be the best year, is it?
January 3rd, 2013 at 2:49 pm
Or it’s going to be an amazing year! Who says we can’t mix metaphors. Where else can a five year old who only says “poo” become an astronaut and meet Jet Hunk, a rocket powered explorer of space? And this is not including the Moe family, the tooth brush psychopath-girlfriend, and – well – Moe himself.
January 4th, 2013 at 8:32 am
Truly, this is madness. Dogs and cats living together. Haiku wrote in prose! Oh no!
January 5th, 2013 at 12:46 am
Shame, it injures me.
Fren, a friend to all, Fren is.
Repair! Lost honor…
January 6th, 2013 at 2:18 pm
Spasibo, Doramjan ^^ All I could figure out was “you” and “Svetlana”, I really don’t know a lot. I do have the alphabet memorized though
Omi, good idea.
Firman, gutes Glueck mit die naechtse Comic! Ich kann nicht warten! Ich liebe dich und deine Fangemeide, dass ich bin ein Teil von sie
Es tut mir Leid wenn dies ist schlecht, ich habe grammatik Probleme auf Deutsch ^^;
January 6th, 2013 at 2:19 pm
Whoops just noticed error in my name. I’m the queen of double-posting, apparently -_-
January 7th, 2013 at 8:42 am
Since our dear Admiral has a block that no amount of rum may flush, I submit that we begin posting ideas for a new story arc. Perhaps one of our thoughts may serve to eliminate the log which jams his creative river. Firman needs a writing team! Perhaps we may yet serve.
January 7th, 2013 at 2:07 pm
New Fir`Moe’n comic:
Moe saves an author insert
<strikethrough>With raw fish and rice</strikethrough>
<strikethrough>From Firman Subfusc</strikethrough>
From raw fish and rice.
January 8th, 2013 at 10:50 am
we should do a tandem story write-up like those things where each person adds a line and it goes to all sorts of wacky and zany places or as is more common, butts and the like.
ill kick us off as i have very little else to do at 1:50 in the morning.
moe stared off into the sunset, his bald head glinting majestically in the sun…
January 8th, 2013 at 10:57 am
also if i don’t return to add to or finish this story then my house has been engulfed by the fires that are turning my country into the fire nation. it has been a pleasure to serve aboard this comicship under the command of the great firman. a poignant moment of reverence for the brave posters we have lost over time: Kanye, Gregory, superduck, superduck’s ghost, carp, and countless others who i have shame fully forgotten. and a heartfelt salute to those whom continue this proud tradition, you do all those who came before you proud. Omi signing off to start packing for evacuation out of the danger zone. later homeboys.
January 8th, 2013 at 3:10 pm
…and said to himself “ow god my eyes hurt”…
January 8th, 2013 at 10:12 pm
….one of Moe’s roommates said, “Moe! You’ve got to get out of here! That’s Australia going up in flames – not the sun!”…
January 8th, 2013 at 10:13 pm
(Be safe, Omi. Be safe and return)
January 9th, 2013 at 5:21 am
… Just after Moe’s roommate had spoken a mighty koala, imbued with the power of flames, rose over the horizon …
Best of luck Omi. I don’t think I’ll have to evacuate, unless it’s 2003 all over again.
January 9th, 2013 at 6:50 am
… Or so they thought, until it became obvious it was really a drop bear…
Stay safe from those fires.
And of course those drop bears, too.
And other critters.
January 9th, 2013 at 10:05 pm
…the drop bear gets the drop on Moe, who is engulfed in flame and fur…
January 10th, 2013 at 3:19 pm
…hilarity ensues while everyone tries to beat the burning drop bear out without regard for Moe…
January 11th, 2013 at 1:16 pm
…moe ends up resembling the drop as a result of the beating which leads to extra hilarity as everyone starts beating the burning drop bear and drop moe out…
also i am back, the fire was a great big let down for me as the only property damage i suffered was shattering my laptop screen to hell in my haste to pack.
January 12th, 2013 at 2:25 am
Crushing disappointment belongs here with Moe.
January 14th, 2013 at 3:55 pm
New comic!
Moe is walking in the park when he bends over to pick up a flower…
January 15th, 2013 at 7:19 am
My punchline: He eats the flower. Someone asks him why he did that, he says “To check for poisorrrghhlglglhglllgghghgl”
January 15th, 2013 at 3:25 pm
Heh heh heh!
January 15th, 2013 at 3:26 pm
*foam foam foam*
January 18th, 2013 at 4:14 am
New comic.
Moe is sitting down, listening to music on his new BOSE headphones.
January 18th, 2013 at 12:26 pm
reminiscing about girlfriends past (and not necessarily about *HOW* they passed)
January 18th, 2013 at 4:14 pm
He absent-mindedly wanders into an archery store and is soon surrounded by BOWS.
January 20th, 2013 at 8:15 am
… which are wielded by ARCHERY STORE AMAZONS!
The Amazons tell Moe to get down on his knees while making hand gestures.
Moe just stands and looks while still wearing his headphones.
Moe shrugs and says “what?”
January 21st, 2013 at 1:23 am
still hangin around
still slingin haikus about
been really busy
January 21st, 2013 at 1:24 am
(ohohohoho, i bet you all thought i stopped posting, which is understandable, but i’ve been doing some Big Life Things and haven’t been able to post with my usual zealous regularity. this may or may not change soon? at any rate, i’m not abandoning the site and i’m certainly not abandoning Moe by any means)
January 21st, 2013 at 9:08 am
Don’t worry too much about it, come and join our silly comic text collaborations.
January 21st, 2013 at 6:24 pm
With their knee gestures,
Moe mistakes the AMAZONS
For Skyrim people.
… yes, I went there.
January 22nd, 2013 at 1:21 am
Moe asks them what they were doing before they took the arrow – and never finishes the joke after being shot in the knee. Twice.
January 22nd, 2013 at 1:21 am
Twice.
January 22nd, 2013 at 5:12 am
Twice in either knee.
Moe, sent to the hospital, …
…
…
… Finds new love int’rest?
January 22nd, 2013 at 2:48 pm
Moe looks on the bright side, looks forward to hospital jello, when suddenly…a vistor?
January 22nd, 2013 at 2:48 pm
(Agh, someone break my kneecaps for that one)
January 22nd, 2013 at 4:56 pm
The ARCHERY STORE AMAZONS still have plenty of arrows…
January 22nd, 2013 at 4:57 pm
Oh, hey Moe. Fancy meeting you here. In the hospital. With suspiciously similar injuries.
January 24th, 2013 at 2:34 pm
Moe looks blankly at Nimz. “Do I know you?”
January 26th, 2013 at 11:45 pm
*comes into the room* Hello, I’m your doctor. May I ask what you’re here for? Oh, if you’re wondering why you can’t feel your legs, that just means the Novocain kicked in, so don’t worry. We administered it directly to the breakage sites!
January 28th, 2013 at 1:46 am
Moe has injuries
Far too terrible to heal.
(Organs are missing)
January 30th, 2013 at 6:02 am
Organs are missing?
Caladlana is the suspect.
Quickly! Restrain her!
February 1st, 2013 at 9:04 am
(See … I think it would have been in a Firmanesque sense of humor to indicate that Moe had no legs due to him being listed on his ID as a leg donor. But eh, it’s not my story!)
February 1st, 2013 at 11:13 am
my dear fren it is everyones story at the moment. treat it like the wanton hussy it is and take it round the block. this story is the filler crack whore whilst we wait for lord firman to bring us the properly illustrated and hilarious genuine high class escort that is moe
February 2nd, 2013 at 3:44 pm
“… No, you don’t understand, Doc Cal, I’m a piano donor, not an organ donor. … Yes, you can have the tuning fork, Hey! That’s a wishbone, not a tuning fork!”
My confidence in the competence of doctors in this realm has actually gone up due to this encounter.
February 4th, 2013 at 3:31 am
(Heh heh heh, I’m totally going to steal that piano-organ joke)
February 5th, 2013 at 10:21 am
Pian’Moe or Moe’rgan?
February 5th, 2013 at 1:47 pm
And is he part of a CM’oe?
February 7th, 2013 at 4:39 am
Though we may grow tired, we must never stop Moeing.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:20 pm
Health care or health scare?
Doc has a knockout technique -
I’m out seven teeth!
(At least I was rendered unconscious for the duration of the knee amputation surgery. I’m not sure how they managed to remove my knees and leave my legs and feet attached to the rest of my body…)
February 8th, 2013 at 3:16 am
But that doesn’t explain the teeth!
February 8th, 2013 at 6:25 am
My goodness, you’re right!
The only explanation:
My teeth are knees now.
February 10th, 2013 at 2:49 am
Nimz, I am afraid you’re taking too much medication.
February 10th, 2013 at 11:17 pm
How many atoms in a guaca-mole?
Avocado’s number.
February 11th, 2013 at 2:52 am
Haiku, they only gave me the Schedule II stuff. Imagine how much more interesting this would have been if they bumped me all the way up to Schedule V! Oh, and by ‘they’ I mean Them! Somehow I got transported to a hospital where all the doctors and all the other patients are giant ants. But they’re pretty friendly, so it’s all good. You can tell the President he can stop sending fighter jets to ‘rescue’ me.
February 11th, 2013 at 9:06 am
Hark! This mattress be
unflippable! Moe shall ne’er
never allow it.
February 12th, 2013 at 5:46 am
Careful with your speech!
‘Unsinkable Titanic’
is what they all said.
And then they were all dumbfounded when Moe’s matress hit an iceberg…
February 15th, 2013 at 4:46 pm
Has it been five months?
Eliot’s words still ring true:
“Moe, STOP! SEE PEE SPOTS”.
February 16th, 2013 at 2:53 pm
Moe stews in his own.
What ripe cocktail doth he make?
A drink none partake.
February 16th, 2013 at 2:53 pm
You make everything groovy,
Moe. Just one look at your bed
Is proof of that point.
It proves some other things, too, but let’s not examine those things too closely lest our olfactory senses become overwhelmed.
February 18th, 2013 at 12:10 am
How did I think 7-7-5 was 5-7-5?
A slight to the form.
My deepest apologies
For rhythmic error.
February 18th, 2013 at 11:53 am
This mattress comic reminds me of another Moe comic… http://www.firmanproductions.com/?p=530
February 19th, 2013 at 8:59 am
Such a show of bladder control! To top off a small wine glass, pinch off and hold the remainder is truly a show of remarkable tenacity. You keep at ‘em, Moe.
February 19th, 2013 at 2:02 pm
Ah, Doramjan, yes. Classic Moe response. Why move when you don’t have to?
February 20th, 2013 at 10:47 am
A slow comment stream
Has the Admiral vanished?
We patiently wait
February 20th, 2013 at 10:49 am
NO JOKE, I went to the haiku generator at http://www.generatorland.com/glgenerator.aspx?id=113 and it made the following (eerily appropriate for this comic) haiku:
messages under
darting salmon on stained sheets
mocking bird for love
February 20th, 2013 at 10:50 am
I shall leave its interp’Moetation to the wisdom of the crowd
February 20th, 2013 at 1:46 pm
Wow. That is eerily appropriate. That may also be the explanation for Moe’s failed attempts at love – he’s only had human love interests instead of mocking birds.
February 21st, 2013 at 7:43 am
the comments have dried
all gone is the great word rush
lord firman is still
February 22nd, 2013 at 8:58 am
Yet we merry few
We band of brothers remain
On Saint Crispin’s Day.
Crud, I’m late again, it’s February. Well, it’s the thought that counts, right?
February 22nd, 2013 at 11:13 am
godbless henry the fifth.
February 22nd, 2013 at 11:41 am
much-delayed haiku
swoops in for post four hundred;
moe is eternal.
February 23rd, 2013 at 3:55 am
Fren, it is always
Always always, in always,
the thought that counts here.
February 23rd, 2013 at 9:37 am
I’m going to bounce back. I’ll figure out a way. It’s been months since I’ve even drawn anything which is shameful, but also means the artistic urge is getting backed up. You folks have been unnaturally patient and forgiving and that demands some kind of rewarding payoff.
February 23rd, 2013 at 11:16 am
Firman, we are pulling for you! Keep your stick on the ice
February 25th, 2013 at 7:24 am
This haiku not found.
In this non-existent post,
There is no comment.
(If no one else is going to nab 404…)
February 25th, 2013 at 9:25 am
oh shit im glad you got it nimz, i probably would have wasted it. and the lord returns. much like pavlov’s dog we shall wait for the picture drawings
February 25th, 2013 at 8:38 pm
Just wanted to let you know that although I’ve never posted I’ve been following Moe for years, and you always do great work admiral. I’m sure I’m not the only one fondly F5′ing from the shadows.
February 26th, 2013 at 9:15 am
We shall mill about the site
and patiently wait.
Moe shall return soon.
February 26th, 2013 at 3:43 pm
Artistic urges
Have been backing up for months.
I’d feel an urge too.
Moe’s still in his bed—
Things are starting to back up.
I’d feel an urge too.
Best of luck, Firman!
We’ll be pleased with what comes out
Whenever it comes.
February 28th, 2013 at 1:25 pm
When haikus fail, what will bring news of Moe?
When after months of wait there’s still no show,
What else can we, the stubborn faithful, try?
Moe’s fast asleep, in bed (whose forms defy
The laws of nature, as we’re told). And so
We wait, write haikus, many in a row,
Draw sundry fan art gifs, and hide our woe
In cheerful comments written with a sigh,
When haikus fail.
If forum posts are still not running low,
Is it because, deep down, we simply know
That Moe, for all his dumbness, cannot die?
We hold out hoping, yet we know not why:
And therefore, friends, I offer this rondeau,
When haikus fail.
February 28th, 2013 at 7:15 pm
Silent Fan, I want to echo what you were saying. I rarely if ever comment on here, but I frequently F5 with a hope that will not fade. Admiral, you have more followers than I can count on 2 severed hands.
February 28th, 2013 at 9:03 pm
I slow clap, Officer
What rhythm Moe will never know.
Poetry forever.
March 1st, 2013 at 12:52 am
“Localization”
So long; it’s often shortened
To just “L10n”.
I’d like to propose
The same treatment for “Firman”:
Admiral “F5″.
A fitting reminder;
With each keystroke, a tribute:
F5 to reload.
March 1st, 2013 at 4:16 am
Palindr’moe, wait.
F5 is the Moe L10n?
Pronounced Lion, yes.
March 5th, 2013 at 10:11 am
slowly working towards the magical 450th comment on the 450th comic
March 5th, 2013 at 6:47 pm
Oh, now that will be
A sight unseen for Moe’nths
Magnificent, yes?
March 7th, 2013 at 10:44 am
GLORY GLORY TO LORD FIRMAN. GLORY GLORY TO LORD FIRMAN. GLORY GLORY TO LORD FIRMAN. LORD FIRMAN MARCHES ON
March 9th, 2013 at 2:54 am
Another day, another word for our Admiral.
March 9th, 2013 at 3:32 pm
Advance to 450. Who will steal, win, acquire the top spot?
March 9th, 2013 at 3:36 pm
An infinite well:
Our tragic hero arrives,
“Who drank every drop?”
March 9th, 2013 at 3:38 pm
Hi Haiku!
(Is this comment high enough? Hai!)
March 9th, 2013 at 4:08 pm
We must push onwards -
450 won’t post itself.
We race viciously.
March 9th, 2013 at 5:03 pm
Not too viciously -
If we sabotage ourselves,
No one can triumph.
Racing Co`Moe’rades,
Let us charge forth unhinder’d;
Success will be had!
March 11th, 2013 at 3:30 am
TALLY HO. PIP PIP. POST HASTE. onwards gents to claim the might prize
March 11th, 2013 at 8:19 am
A strategy most reserved, that is the only sort that shall suit!
March 11th, 2013 at 10:56 am
Shall we sneak? Or stand? Or walk on our hands?
March 11th, 2013 at 11:44 pm
Forwards we go, united together by Moe
March 12th, 2013 at 8:50 am
Or shall you lurk and snipe when the moment is right? Decisions, decisions.
March 13th, 2013 at 3:01 am
i for one am all for the fun of an all out fisticuffs bout. winner takes all
March 13th, 2013 at 12:52 pm
Another drop in the ocean.
I am stricken by the notion
If Moe stayed in bed this long
(Of course I might just be wrong…),
He’ll need some calamine lotion.
March 13th, 2013 at 6:40 pm
Fisticuffs are not that fun!
A bap to the head is a nasty stun.
I’m frankly no good,
so prehaps I should
Simply go purchase a gun?
March 14th, 2013 at 4:06 am
(Random thought, what if the Admiral sails away with 450?)
(Which one of us will compose his lyrical diddy?)
(Is that even a word?)
(How patently absurd.)
(I know rhyme not hello kitty)
March 14th, 2013 at 4:08 am
but dent bringing a gun
to a fight is no fun
i’d rather instead
a strike to the head
then a bullet i cannot outrun
March 14th, 2013 at 4:09 am
That sounds like the most reasonable means to address that problem, Dent, but I can only fully endorse your course of action…
As long as the gun
Does no damage to your face.
(You’ll poke your eye out!)
You know what? I’ll just let you buy your gun and just take pictures when the inevitable happens.
March 14th, 2013 at 4:11 am
Oh, hello Omi.
Greetings to you, too, Haiku
I did not see you.
March 14th, 2013 at 5:25 am
All haikus should rhyme
The hipsters call it rhyme time.
Is that a black mime?
March 14th, 2013 at 8:19 am
Shall it be a curse of reason?
To think, now, of the Feast of Saint Patrick?
Abandon ye the haiku! ‘Tis the season
of the limerick!
March 14th, 2013 at 2:16 pm
I’ve been trying to convince my wife to have another baby so we can get another Moe comic.
March 14th, 2013 at 4:15 pm
What lyrical brilliance
under the surveillance
of the Admiral.
Holy Mackerel.
You all deserve some mints.
(I know, I know.. my meter is all off. I’m just not feeling it today)
March 14th, 2013 at 10:55 pm
Former Best Pie grunt
Has a Happy Pi Day stunt:
“Eat more pie, you *&$%.”
March 14th, 2013 at 10:57 pm
That last line may be why the first line said ‘former’.
March 15th, 2013 at 7:38 am
only 10 more comments to go. we band of brothers shall push ever onwards.
March 15th, 2013 at 8:23 am
There once was a comic named Moe
And in it, a brother named Bo
We’ve been waiting for months
Rhyming on all fronts
Just hoping the Admiral would show.
No harm to Mr. Firman intended! We just loves us some Moe.
March 16th, 2013 at 1:55 am
Heh heh, we should really start having some Moe related holidays. For example, how would Moe celebrate Saint Patricks? Spoiler: I imagine a great deal of vomiting.
March 16th, 2013 at 4:48 am
Moeseph will be
Celebrating
St. Patrick’s Day?
March 16th, 2013 at 2:44 pm
Moeseph P. Dope
And brother Bo
With green party hats!
March 17th, 2013 at 7:57 am
my st patricks day was celebrated the traditional irish way, alone, with a bottle of whiskey, listening to the pogues and christy moore. irish heritage shines through. has moe got any irish blood in him?
March 17th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
I think Moe has had Irish blood -on- him. Considering how easily Moe insults others.
March 17th, 2013 at 12:09 pm
Did I say insult? I meant influence.
March 17th, 2013 at 12:11 pm
Wait, no. I meant insult.
March 18th, 2013 at 2:41 pm
Post four fifty!
With meter to match!
March 18th, 2013 at 11:34 pm
Make more comics, dumbbutt.
March 19th, 2013 at 2:25 am
Forgive him, Admiral! Smite Darren not!
March 19th, 2013 at 2:46 am
26 1/2 hours that the post 450 slot was available before being taken. We are clearly `Moe’ch too chivalrous for our own good. Congratulations, Palindr`moe’!
March 19th, 2013 at 3:22 am
not darren where do you get off MATE?!?
March 19th, 2013 at 10:19 am
I’m glad Palindr’moe’ got the magical ’450′. I didn’t have anything *NEARLY* clever enough to occupy such an honorable comment slot.
BTW, Not Darren appears to be a friend of Firman (see http://www.darrencalvert.com/links.htm ) Maybe it’s some friendly banter to prod the Admiral into action? If so, I say “double dumb butt”!
March 19th, 2013 at 4:14 pm
Here’s a new goal:
Let’s work to achieve
Comment five seven five!
March 20th, 2013 at 12:12 am
A fine goal, Pal-moe!
Five seven five, perfect, yes!
Now friends needed here.
March 20th, 2013 at 2:42 am
Five starts and ends,
Seven in between:
Thusly are great poems conformed.
March 20th, 2013 at 7:21 am
in light of this news DUMB BUTTS AHOY
comment 5 7 5 shall not be mine as alas my skill in the haiku is sorely lacking. but i am confident that you, my brethren have the strength within you to muster up the mightest haiku the world has ever seen.
March 20th, 2013 at 12:43 pm
Omi, comment 5 7 5 doesn’t need to be a haiku. It just needs to happen. This is what is most important. Almost as important as figuring out what our -next- goal will be. Did we ever reach comment 1000? Or reverse haiku of 7 5 7?
March 20th, 2013 at 3:49 pm
Should comment count
Determine syllables?
Yes!
March 21st, 2013 at 8:17 am
Should comment count
Determine syllables?
No way!
March 21st, 2013 at 2:05 pm
Civil War!
March 21st, 2013 at 2:30 pm
I’ll side with no:
I can’t do that many
Syllables, guys.
March 22nd, 2013 at 8:02 am
oh lordy it be anarchy in the streets
March 24th, 2013 at 1:38 am
757 isn’t going to post itself, guys.
March 24th, 2013 at 5:12 am
ONWARDS FIRMAN’S SOOOOoooOOooLDIERS MARCHING OUT TO WAAAARR.
March 24th, 2013 at 5:15 am
(sing along)sometiiiimes i feel ive got to bah bah
March 24th, 2013 at 10:36 pm
Moe’s singin’ by now, too…
“This is it, boys, this is war – what are we waiting for?
Why don’t we break the rules already?
I was never one to believe the hype! Save that for the black and white
Try twice as hard and I’m half as liked, But here they come again to jack my style…
That’s all right. I found a peestain in my bed tonight.
Stops my bones from wonderin’, just who I am, who I am.
Well, some nights I wish that this would all end,
Cuz I could use some friends for a change.
And some nights I’m scared you’ll forget me again,
But some nights I always win.
But I read these posts,
And I renew my hope
Oh Lord, I am more sure
What I stand for–
What do I stand for?
Oh, Moe!
What do I stand for?
Oh Moe!”
March 24th, 2013 at 10:38 pm
(may Nate Ruess forgive, but everytime I hear that song, I think of all the Moe’s of the world)
March 25th, 2013 at 2:45 am
I have no idea what either of you are singing, but if you don’t mind some offkey “la-da-li-lala-dah” chiming in, I’ll gladly sing along.
March 25th, 2013 at 3:00 am
NIMZ!
You will go and listen to the band Fun. (the period is part of the name), -now-.
March 25th, 2013 at 8:49 am
nimz i was singing tainted love
March 25th, 2013 at 10:57 am
Moe Halloween….what would Moe wear? A sheet with too many eyes has been done. Would Moe just go for a paper sack and call himself king?
March 26th, 2013 at 5:30 am
I can get behind
A Tainted Love sing-a-long.
I’ve heard Fun. before.
Or rather, one song
(I think it is We Are Young)
gets overplayed here.
Anyway, here’s my contribution to the singing:
When you’re down and out,
When you’re on the sheets,
When evening falls so hard,
I will comfort you.
March 26th, 2013 at 2:57 pm
As spring approaches
I continue reading Moe
into a new year.
March 26th, 2013 at 4:35 pm
Carp, it being spring, does this mean you migrate back to your native waters to repopulate or am I still thinking Salmon?
March 27th, 2013 at 7:25 am
Ya, Carp! CARP-e diem and Moe’grate back to your native waters already!!
March 28th, 2013 at 8:08 am
Those pee stains are almost 6 months old. Come on, Moe! Just clean the mattress already!
March 28th, 2013 at 2:49 pm
Burn the mattress.
March 28th, 2013 at 3:59 pm
Those stains will be a heck of a lot harder to clean out now than they were then. Incendiary measures may be the best way to deal with it now. Moe, you need to find a pyro woman to be romantically involved with you.
March 28th, 2013 at 3:59 pm
Sherbet tantrums
(“burn the mattress” rearranged)
March 29th, 2013 at 1:22 am
It’s March 29th again! You know what that means~
http://michaelfirman.ytmnd.com/
Happy birthday, Michael Firman! Hope you have another good one!
March 29th, 2013 at 10:45 am
I thought his birthday was May 4th! Am I wrong?
March 29th, 2013 at 10:55 am
Doram you are entirely correct. I was, and am annually re-, born on the fourth of May. Don’t listen to the Illuminati’s plot to make the date of my special occasion ambiguous.
Thanks again for your patience everyone!
March 29th, 2013 at 12:42 pm
It is somewhat timely, though, seeing as we were just talking about burning things. Happy UNbirthday, Admiral Firman!
March 31st, 2013 at 1:21 am
My friends, we need a Moe pinata and we need that pinata by May.
March 31st, 2013 at 3:37 pm
A Moe pinata…
No foie gras and wine, only
Moe bashing and sweets!
April 1st, 2013 at 2:32 am
A Moe effigy,
But not the kind that you burn:
Let’s play Whack-a-Moe!
April 1st, 2013 at 12:59 pm
Pardon my absence, gentlemen. I have been away in the mist-enshrouded land of Missouri. They sell hard liquor in the gas stations there. Never have I known such fabled lands.
April 1st, 2013 at 11:17 pm
Fren, I hear this is also the land of 10,001 lakes. Perhaps this is where they receive such a great deal of alcohol.
April 2nd, 2013 at 8:48 am
If the uttered words of our sages are to be believed, Minnesota is the land of many lakes. Missouri is the land of one American cultural hero, this Tom Sawyer I’ve read so much about. They also serve a great deal of chicken fried steak, I believe this to be a local delicacy. Yet still, friends, imagine it: in one stop, you can refuel your conveyance, procure tobacco, beer, bourbon AND a sandwich. Truly, this is God’s own design.
April 3rd, 2013 at 3:27 am
they should make tobacco beer bourbon one item. it would be my favourite. the sandwich comes on the side.
April 3rd, 2013 at 8:37 am
No, friend. If such things were allowed, humanity would descend further into being the most lazy race. We’d be contending with cats and sloths at that juncture.
April 3rd, 2013 at 3:37 pm
Whoa whoa whoa, Fren.
Cats are a universally accepted as clumsy asshole ninjas and sloths go with any suit, jungle, or urban environment. I think Omi is on to something. Perhaps Moe ordered one of these tob-beer-bons and is simply waiting for it to arrive.
By delivery.
April 4th, 2013 at 8:38 am
Though your assessments of such animals are realistic, know ye this: cats spend many, many hours of each day sleeping. That is plain lazy. And sloths? They hardly move at all. Give them a couch and a remote control and they’d likely starve to death.
Moe, however, is simply a Zen master. He has no wants. He is free from desire. Understanding the true nature of beds, he knows that such fickle works would only be undone, in the end.
April 4th, 2013 at 10:14 pm
Carp and Nimz and Fren:
Procurers of perfect numbers
In this comment thread.
(6, 28, 496)
April 5th, 2013 at 1:13 am
Fren, you must know I liked your joke about sloths so much I shared it at work. Repeatedly.
April 5th, 2013 at 10:59 am
Steady yourselves, ye gentles. The next man to step up secures the coveted half-a-thousand ‘pon this thread. Bask in this glory!
April 5th, 2013 at 5:26 pm
One, one, one, one, one
Zero, one, zero, zero!
(Moe loves binary.)
April 5th, 2013 at 7:37 pm
that comment about moe being a zen master struck a cord. moe is the most dude-ish guy ever, aside from the great dude himself.
April 6th, 2013 at 11:12 am
One, zero, zero,
One until that many ones
In the binary.
That means just ten more
Comments will take us up to
Ten bits, or something.
April 7th, 2013 at 2:56 am
hey guys has moe updated yet
April 7th, 2013 at 11:02 pm
Everyday, Muke. Everyday. In our hearts.
April 8th, 2013 at 8:14 am
Moe updates several times daily, with our thoughts and brief communiques. The Admiral only swings through port nigh a few times yearly, as his heart belongs to the sea. We merely line the shore and await his return.
April 8th, 2013 at 9:24 am
keeping the dock side wenches warm and the ale flagons full until he sails in once more
April 8th, 2013 at 11:03 am
Aye Aye
April 8th, 2013 at 11:03 am
Here here
April 9th, 2013 at 1:37 am
This comic could probably be made into a `Moe’ntage. Every panel would be Moe in his bed, with a variety of poses and levels of lighting. There are probably better `Moe’ntage ideas, but that one could work.
April 12th, 2013 at 2:51 am
Haiku’s don’t happen.
We must force the issue, Friends.
Much like our dreams here.
April 12th, 2013 at 12:22 pm
Hai, Haiku-sensei.
(In Japanese that would be
much longer than five.)
April 12th, 2013 at 2:30 pm
Time to celebrate!
When lauding large, round numbers
You can’t beat base 2!
April 14th, 2013 at 1:19 am
We’re so close to 575! Well, not really, but it helps to keep going a little further.
April 14th, 2013 at 9:57 am
we are closer to it than we are away dear Haiku
April 15th, 2013 at 10:11 am
A matter of just
10* away… if in
Sexagesimal.
* read: one zero
April 15th, 2013 at 3:41 pm
How pitiable.
Look, arbitrary numbers.
To seek them: folly.
April 15th, 2013 at 9:26 pm
Arbitrary, no.
Epsilon greater than nought…
That’s arbitrary.
Pointless? Perhaps so.
But conversation is sought…
Or commentary.
April 16th, 2013 at 6:46 am
http://i1223.photobucket.com/albums/dd510/MCMcMuke/hehasspoken.jpg
whoops
April 16th, 2013 at 10:09 am
Muke! That is awesome and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter!
April 16th, 2013 at 12:14 pm
Good bye Moe. I presume you’ve died and I removed you from my bookmarks toolbar to make place for thegamercat.com
April 16th, 2013 at 12:34 pm
butter_milch, for why?
Patience is a virtue, Sir
You will be back, Milch.
April 16th, 2013 at 6:05 pm
Each day I return
in hopes of new Moe, also
to read the comments.
April 16th, 2013 at 6:06 pm
Fanart will have to
suffice for now, good sir Muke
provides the latest.
April 17th, 2013 at 4:38 pm
Another day, a
new facet of this comic
observed. Endless wealth.
April 18th, 2013 at 1:14 am
Moe rests, but is not rested;
Slumber tantalising daily, hourly, minutely, by the second.
Annoyances plague the mind.
‘Elliot, though I wait, I am not a waiter. I don’t need your tips!’
Why does Moe wait?
Romantic interests do not simply fall from the sky;
Make your destiny, Moe!
April 18th, 2013 at 10:54 am
Oh yes, he shall marinate and contemplate the meaning of existence. The banality of it all. This comic is the stuff that a master’s thesis in psychology is made of.
April 18th, 2013 at 8:55 pm
just realised it has been more than 7 months since an update and at times i find myself hoping the update never comes because this comment thread is great. but then i realise how much i love reading moe and i have to chastise myself.HOW DO YOU CHOOSE BETWEEN TWO THINGS YOU LOVE??
April 18th, 2013 at 10:19 pm
Seven months, you say?
Maybe Moe has been working…
At bringing new life.
Two more months to wait
To see if this is a real
Possibility.
April 19th, 2013 at 8:32 am
Omi, I believe that the fine folks that produce Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups have proven that sometimes you haven’t got to choose. Ponder that.
April 19th, 2013 at 9:25 am
oh man i forgot about reese’s. fren thank you. you have ended my torment and need for tasty snacks. top stuff
April 21st, 2013 at 2:23 am
We need to get that Moe fan site up. I will totally host.
April 22nd, 2013 at 8:30 am
For all the times that we post the name Moe, I have to wonder if anime search engines bring folks here.
April 22nd, 2013 at 1:27 pm
Admiral, when can we say to you “Shut up and take my money” for an actual physical printed book of Moe comics?
April 22nd, 2013 at 9:24 pm
A prerequisite
to shutting up and taking
Money is talking…
… so as soon as Admiral Firman starts talking about making physical merch, like a book, I suppose.
April 22nd, 2013 at 11:19 pm
I’ve talked briefly to the Admiral about such a thing and he has politely declined at current. This doesn’t mean his opinions haven’t changed, or that I’m a liar, but I think we’ll have to wait a little longer.
FOR NOW.
April 23rd, 2013 at 1:28 am
I think that we should make bootleg Moe merch, and then send the profits to Admiral Firman, WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT
April 23rd, 2013 at 2:39 am
I’ve been getting some increased pressure to make a book lately, which I reckon means demand is increasing?! So maybe it will actually be feasible to recover costs with a printing.
Moe should be resumed before any kind of book launch though. And I’m still ultra-embarrassed by a lot of the old strips. Personally I’d prefer to release a “Best of” collection wherein I select my favourites, rather than an exhaustive series that tours the entire comic. But some of you might disagree!
I’ve thanked you awesome people for sticking by me before – to repeat it after so long would cast doubt on its sincerity. I have to demonstrate this gratitude in the form of some damn comics. Now that the number of visitors on the site has dwindled to a tenth of its prior average, some of the performance anxiety may actually be lessened!
April 23rd, 2013 at 11:12 am
the good admiral has returned to port, welcome home
on another note bootleg moe merch would be dope as fuck.
April 23rd, 2013 at 12:23 pm
Admiral’s Paradox:
In order to see more Moe
We need to look less.
April 24th, 2013 at 9:19 am
Do what makes you most comfortable, Herr Admiral. On one hand, your refinement of the form has proceeded remarkably from the early days. Yet, on another, nobody will recognize the heights you’ve attained without staring deep into the abyss of your earlier works. For a fine example of another artist that began humbly and truly broke out down the line, check out String Theory. No need to be embarrassed. It happens to be the way things work, is all. Over time, with practice, you improve and refine.
April 25th, 2013 at 12:20 am
No idea I have,
What friend Fren said here today.
But it sounds good.
April 27th, 2013 at 1:55 am
This silence. Ugly.
Like the quiet rest of Moe.
Flip the mattress. Please.
April 28th, 2013 at 11:22 pm
Thus saith Moe Dope,
“I will not flip the mattress!”
The pee stains remain.
April 29th, 2013 at 9:16 am
Is that like Also Sprach `Moe’athustra?
April 29th, 2013 at 3:54 pm
Message, to Haiku:
Words of encouragement for
Admiral Firman
April 30th, 2013 at 1:18 am
Admiral’s birthday…
Not yet, but it looms closer.
(Five more syllables)
April 30th, 2013 at 1:20 am
(syllables = days to go?)
April 30th, 2013 at 1:40 am
Now I also bid
My dearest Admiral luck –
With good assurance.
Any form of print,
Be it full compilation
Or simply best-of;
I shall go purchase
Without a delay nor pause -
(Bad ones are still great!)
Glad to hear you’re well!
Hope you’re getting lots of work;
No rush for comics.
April 30th, 2013 at 4:08 am
Printed collection
Would surely be a must-buy
No matter the price
April 30th, 2013 at 5:48 am
i have already sold my first born to start my moe merch slush fund
April 30th, 2013 at 1:16 pm
You should hold on to your first born. I hear they appreciate in value… at least until the teenage years!
May 1st, 2013 at 12:31 am
Appreciation,
Then teen depreciation
Until they mature.
May 2nd, 2013 at 6:39 am
Firstborn for mo’ Moe?
Sounds like a bargain to me,
but I have no kids
May 3rd, 2013 at 8:35 am
neither, at least not anymore, now I’ve just got all this sweet dough ray me floatin round. and a very cranky wife. apparently the baby “WASN’T” for trading. first I ever heard of it.
May 3rd, 2013 at 8:40 am
Might well be that you’ll need to trade the wife and baby as a set. This should help to soften the blow of post-natal separation.
May 3rd, 2013 at 9:29 am
Can someone please tell me why there are Haiku poems in half the comments on the entire website?
May 3rd, 2013 at 9:45 am
Because, a haiku
Faerie comes in the night and
rearranges posts.
There’s nothing we can do.
May 3rd, 2013 at 11:08 am
I have oft wondered
at that mystery, myself.
Elucidation!
May 3rd, 2013 at 12:35 pm
The real question is:
How can we refer to you
In a haiku, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ?
May 4th, 2013 at 4:38 am
Is it now the time?
Annual celebration:
You’re the man now, dog!
(If it doesn’t appear to post this time, I give up.)
May 4th, 2013 at 4:41 am
So it worked that time.
I tried to add title text.
Seems I can’t do that.
May 4th, 2013 at 7:55 am
That website appears to be blocked on my school internet
May 4th, 2013 at 9:07 am
Nimz!!!
You beat me to it!
Happy Birthday to Firman
May the 4th be with …
you
– as a side note, we’re almost up to comment 575!!
May 4th, 2013 at 12:20 pm
¯\_(ツ)_/¯:
That link is the one
Totaliter Aliter
Posted too early
“Disco Inferno”
Plays while a colourful gif
Of Moeseph rocks out.
Here is a copy
Of the gif that’s repeated
To cover the screen.
May 5th, 2013 at 12:24 pm
Admiral Birthday
Is now the official name.
Thank you again, my friends.
May 5th, 2013 at 12:26 pm
But beware the false.
Revenge of the Sixth. Monday.
Sail safe, Admiral
May 6th, 2013 at 3:15 am
Another month ends.
I come back to check on Moe.
Guess I came too soon.
May 6th, 2013 at 8:32 am
None too soon at all!
Enjoy camaraderie
with your fellow fans!
May 6th, 2013 at 11:52 am
Comment five-six-nine.
Six syllables go here.
Start the countdown to five-seven-five.
May 6th, 2013 at 11:59 pm
We are so close now.
The tension is rising. Hot.
Temperature of Moe.
May 7th, 2013 at 2:06 am
Who has yet prepared
For that spot? My prep has been
{}.
Naught. Cipher. Empty.
Void. Null. Vanity. Nada.
Nil. Goose-egg. Zero.
May 7th, 2013 at 2:33 pm
I am also not.
Prepared that is. Plan ahead?
That is not Moe. No.
May 7th, 2013 at 3:45 pm
Some come seeking Moe.
I came for five-seven-five,
Now I wait.
May 8th, 2013 at 8:51 am
You have naught to wait.
Five-seven-five is posted
here every day!
(haiku structure? Yuss. May we save post 575 for Haiku him/herself)
May 11th, 2013 at 2:16 am
(Fren, thank you for the deep compliment. I am not as good at poetry as some of you, so forgive my attempt if it hurts too deeply. The works you, my friends, have shown before have inspired me to compose with careful deliberation. Congratulations on 575. Let’s now make it to reverse haiku, 757)
(Agh, rereading this I can definitely see some mistakes I made in my syntax. Again, forgiveness, poetry is probably one of my weakest skills – right up there with piano juggling. Next time will be better)
Thank you, my good friends.
Your patience, I needed it.
Appreciated.
There once was a man.
No, a captain. Who sailed away
with Moe and a plan.
Travel away, he did,
Across the internet sway.
Doubt, fear, he forbid.
Time passed and beards grew,
Lord Duke of all he purvey,
Admiral made true.
Now Lord Commander,
Firman brought the world’s umbrae,
Moe, the white anchor.
Across the wide world,
From whitest Canada clay,
to Australia furled,
Of Texas down south,
Plus the Martians estray,
Loyal through all drought.
They wait patiently.
For, He will return some day.
From sea to aerie.
Moe will never die.
His image our ships forestay,
Moe knows no goodbye.
May 11th, 2013 at 5:00 am
Ah, ’tis a thing beaut:
Haiku’s amazing tribute;
No soul can dispute.
Nay, this May display:
A delay repaid. Hooray!
Tres bien, I say.
May 11th, 2013 at 6:41 am
holy shit you have no idea how hard it was not commenting, but it was so very worth it. godbless you Haiku you glorious son of a bitch, truly the great firman lay his guiding hand upon thee when you crafted this poem
May 12th, 2013 at 3:40 am
Happy `Moe’ther’s Day!
May 12th, 2013 at 5:33 am
It was weird to sit around silently, but worth it. Nice job, Haiku.
May 13th, 2013 at 8:48 am
And thus, the ultimate lesson, buried deep within the very pixels of Moe:
Those with patience garner the best rewards.
May 13th, 2013 at 9:23 am
Slow clap for Haiku
Extremely well done, my friend!
Best . Haikus . Ever .
May 17th, 2013 at 12:49 pm
In honor of Star Trek Into Darkness, I posit that if Moe were in the Star Trek universe, he would be a Pakled or a Zakdorn. Perhaps a low-IQ Ferengi.
May 18th, 2013 at 7:04 am
My great response lost.
Written on a piece of card.
Irritating. No?
May 19th, 2013 at 4:24 am
Moe, I am sleepy.
Let someone else have a chance
To snuggle in bed!
May 19th, 2013 at 2:24 pm
Really, in that bed?
I don’t mind my own urine,
but seriously?
May 20th, 2013 at 12:18 am
My sleep-deprived brain
Forgot the perils yonder.
Thanks for protecting!
May 21st, 2013 at 4:00 am
Wow! Awesome 5-7-5 post, Haiku!
May 23rd, 2013 at 1:25 pm
Thank you, t1m! It was…
It was hard, could be better.
But 7-5-7 awaits.
May 24th, 2013 at 10:42 am
Moe still lies dormant.
Me’Moe’rial Day Weekend
Happy grilling, all!
May 26th, 2013 at 1:50 am
Some solipsists
Soliloquy sagely of
Somnambulism.
Moe may make his world,
But it is a stretch to say
He is one of these.
May 26th, 2013 at 6:16 am
Would be nice if firman posted about whats going on.
May 26th, 2013 at 4:30 pm
The Admiral is.
And after is, silence reigns.
Ask and he hears you.
May 26th, 2013 at 4:31 pm
But answer? He does.
Admiral Firman sails far.
He replies by bottle.
May 26th, 2013 at 4:32 pm
Internet current
Is a fickle thing, Monu
Join patience with us.
May 27th, 2013 at 12:48 pm
The bedridden Moe
(Voluntary malady)
Has found his calling.
Elliot calls him,
“There is so much more to life
Than doing nothing!”
May 28th, 2013 at 11:15 am
The purpose of Moe
is Humility, Patience.
Learn ye these lessons.
May 28th, 2013 at 4:14 pm
Patience= For the weak.
Well, that is somewhat untrue.
Doctors need them too.
May 28th, 2013 at 8:03 pm
Rather than patience,
Some doctors have Tardises.
Others, omniscience.
May 29th, 2013 at 10:40 am
Haikus about Moe,
To pass the time in between,
What am I doing?
May 29th, 2013 at 4:55 pm
A question appears,
Proceeding from the answer:
You make Moe haikus!
May 29th, 2013 at 11:54 pm
http://theangrydead.com/naming-conventions/
Tauhid Bondia
Makes a comic with zombies
And Firman shows up.
June 1st, 2013 at 7:06 am
The weekend is here.
What will everyone do now?
Moe firmly in bed.
June 2nd, 2013 at 3:46 am
One has to wonder…
Enough time has passed for birth
From conception now.
Did raw fish and rice
Prevent our procreation
Of inspiration?
June 2nd, 2013 at 11:10 am
I return to find I missed the 600 milestone. moe still sits in his pee stains after the usual birthing period has passed
June 2nd, 2013 at 11:10 am
one must wonder if maybe he likes the smell
June 2nd, 2013 at 9:50 pm
I wonder if Moe can smell any longer. Or, if Moe has now -become- the smell.
June 3rd, 2013 at 12:15 am
The smell of urine,
Mingled with perspiration;
The cologne of Moe.
June 3rd, 2013 at 2:57 am
Ammonia musk…
Or is that ammonium?
Moe as a fuller?
June 4th, 2013 at 11:01 am
Haikus, I must admit,
Are much more fun than I thought,
Mainly Moe Haikus.
June 7th, 2013 at 2:39 am
609? What the…
I swear I posted before.
Memory…it fails.
June 7th, 2013 at 3:29 pm
I’ll take six-one-one.
Raw fish and rice …. and urine?
New scent: Eau de Meaux
June 7th, 2013 at 11:05 pm
So I found site,
really cheap 3d printing.
So I am thinking:
3D Moe’s head bust?
tiny Moe desk figurine?
Firman will decide.
June 8th, 2013 at 1:41 am
I first read that ‘bust’
As if it were ‘butt’ instead.
Print raw fish and rice?
June 8th, 2013 at 2:16 pm
This is the future!
What shall with this new
technology? Butts!
June 9th, 2013 at 1:37 am
“Moe butts” Our slogan.
Double entendre, yes no?
I’ll buy a million.
June 9th, 2013 at 3:36 am
Counterfeits abound.
Get your genuine “Moe butts”
For best butts results.
June 9th, 2013 at 8:50 pm
My butt is special.
Make it an alarm clock, please.
Morning? Tap that ass.
June 10th, 2013 at 5:04 am
Truly, a master;
Haiku excels at the form
From which he is named.
(What I’m trying to say is: that last haiku was glorious, Haiku)
June 10th, 2013 at 7:06 am
that truly was something special. thank you Haiku
June 13th, 2013 at 11:53 am
Thank you both, but I’m afraid those jokes were stolen a bit from our Admiral’s friend – Andrew Hussie. (Hope I spelled that properly). The “game” Problem Sleuth has a sub-game the characters play called “Hunk Rump” which is very similar to Magic in the fact it is played with cards and primarily focuses on bronzed asses. I can’t seem to get a proper link yet, but I will add one soon.
June 13th, 2013 at 2:14 pm
Haiku, is it possibly this to which you were referring?
June 14th, 2013 at 1:52 am
YES!
June 14th, 2013 at 5:40 am
Well the only part that your haiku, Haiku, seems to have in common with the MSPA thing is “tap that ass”, which, to the best of my knowledge, isn’t a particularly uncommon phrase.
And thus, with the addition of the (presumably original) alarm clock preface, I deem this joke not to have been stolen.
June 14th, 2013 at 8:38 am
By the ruling of
One Ton, judge of matters ass,
Tapped joke not stolen.
June 14th, 2013 at 10:33 am
“Good Artists Borrow, Great Artists Steal”
– quote stolen from some dead guy
June 14th, 2013 at 2:42 pm
I’m just wondering…
What would be the kind of sound
A Butt-Alarm might make?
And what about Buttons?
I Assume there should be some.
Are they at the Rear?
June 14th, 2013 at 2:47 pm
Butt jokes: Not that hard
To fit them in a haiku
With raw fish and rice.
June 19th, 2013 at 1:51 am
Curious again
as my travels pass by Moe
I walk on again
June 19th, 2013 at 7:42 pm
Moe has visitors
Checking from lands far and wide.
He has got the groove.
June 23rd, 2013 at 7:53 pm
Comments trickle in.
Is there a leaky faucet?
Or Moe’s drip torture?
If it’s the latter,
The cause of the urine stains
Is no mystery.
June 25th, 2013 at 5:43 am
perhaps the urine stains ARE the drip torture. he is unable to get a full flow going as a result of his misshapen prostate which has been warped by all his bed laying. now he can only suffer through the torture of dripping willy.
June 25th, 2013 at 3:56 pm
Omi, that comment is priceless…
In that I would pay any price to not have that mental image stuck in my head.
June 25th, 2013 at 11:40 pm
Interpretation:
Torture commutes to our friends
Doramjan et al.
June 26th, 2013 at 9:08 am
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
Just, yanno … pretend the table is a mattress …
June 27th, 2013 at 6:04 am
What an interesting end to a story. Some closure would have been nice, but whatever.
June 27th, 2013 at 1:59 pm
It’s not `Moe’ver yet.
As long as there are comments,
Moe will never end!
Or something like that.
I yet hold out hope for `Moe’r.
Just a hiatus.
Admiral Firman -
Now on a naval voyage -
Won’t come h`Moe’me empty.
And so, jonny, h`Moe’pe:
The last word is not written;
No fat lady sang.
June 27th, 2013 at 1:59 pm
Also, raw fish and rice.
June 30th, 2013 at 11:53 pm
Anagram ahoy!
“Raw fish and rice” rearranged:
“Raw fish and Eric”!
July 1st, 2013 at 12:55 pm
You deserve mad props
For the anagram haiku.
Sometimes I wonder.
I just want to know…
Does Eric like sushi, or
Is he the next course?
I don’t feel guilty
Whenever I eat my rice,
But what of Eric?
Does he feel the guilt
When he eats all of my rice,
Leaving him and fish?
I will ponder this
As I, like Moe, eat breakfast
While still in a bed.
July 1st, 2013 at 4:00 pm
Still here.
Life so busy.
Even the haiku is totally wrong.
July 2nd, 2013 at 11:20 am
640 comments out to be enough for anyone.
July 2nd, 2013 at 11:20 am
640 comments ought to be enough for anyone.
July 2nd, 2013 at 1:37 pm
Truly said… unless…
I mean, if you wanted, like,
Over nine thousand…
July 2nd, 2013 at 8:58 pm
Like drops in buckets,
Haikus approach late record:
Seven seventeen.
July 3rd, 2013 at 1:02 am
If, in the forest,
A haiku falls, the question:
What is the cadence?
No pun intended,
But there is one with `cadence’
According to Mac.
July 3rd, 2013 at 9:54 am
Inspiration wanes—
There’s nought here but urine stains,
And raw fish and grains.
July 3rd, 2013 at 12:14 pm
Inspiring thoughts wax
As I read comments like stacks
Of raw fish and flax?
July 3rd, 2013 at 12:15 pm
I’ve now said it twice:
For inspiration that’s nice,
Eat raw fish and rice!
July 3rd, 2013 at 3:19 pm
I don’t like sushi
Said no one, in comments here
Never ever ever ever.
July 3rd, 2013 at 4:32 pm
Haiku lines are three:
Five-seven-five. Sashimi
Goes with rice, not pee.
July 3rd, 2013 at 7:29 pm
All this talk of raw fish and rice reminds me of my plan to open a
Mexican-Japanese-Portuguese fusion restaurant.
There would only be one item on the menu:
Taco tako taco salad.
(That’s a crispy-fried tortilla bowl filled with shredded lettuce
and bits of octopus and golf club. Yum!)
July 4th, 2013 at 12:30 am
palindr’moe, that honestly does sound delicious, sans the golf club bit which has thrown me.
July 4th, 2013 at 1:52 am
I would be your best customer.
July 4th, 2013 at 5:54 am
Swing by la fonda
De Palindr‘moe’ for the
Best ta(ckc)o salad!
(I’m pronouncing your name with four syllables for that: Pal-in-dr-‘moe’. I’m not entirely sure if it should be (par) four or three.)
July 6th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
Moe has not the guts
To eat raw fish and rice:
He has no stomach.
July 7th, 2013 at 11:14 pm
A vigil is set.
Moe will not leave his (bed) post
Until it is done.
July 7th, 2013 at 11:29 pm
Blasphemy: Fusion
Restaurants that baffle the
palate should all die.
(Though I laughed heartily at your concept, Palindr’moe. “Taco de golf”, golf club in Brazillian Portuguese, makes me lol even more.)
July 9th, 2013 at 2:54 am
Sushi is alright.
It might be overrated.
Se bon appétit.
July 9th, 2013 at 4:45 am
Summer blockbuster,
Coming soon to theatres:
One Dope Stays In Bed.
July 9th, 2013 at 8:51 pm
Can’t wait for sequel.
“Getting Up, For Moe, Too Dope.”
It’s a play on words.
July 9th, 2013 at 10:07 pm
Either that title
Or, “`Moe’lectric Boogaloo”
Would fit the sequel.
July 10th, 2013 at 9:21 am
Or “Moe’bius Strip”
if ever Moe were to rise
and change the bedclothes.
July 11th, 2013 at 10:49 am
I would see all of these films. Even if they were just animated shorts of no more than thirty seconds. GIF format would also be acceptable.
July 12th, 2013 at 2:56 am
Well I finally caught up and there is still no more Moe, which admittedly makes me a little sad. I was kind of hoping that my eventual catching up would coincide directly with Firman adding a new comic. Alas, I seem to be mistaken. In any case, thank you all for making such wonderfully entertaining comics. I almost felt like I was waiting along with all of you as I read them, and I suppose now I will be waiting along with all of you.
July 12th, 2013 at 2:57 am
Drat…the actual waiting part isn’t nearly as fun, because now I need to wait for comments in addition to waiting for comics!
July 12th, 2013 at 3:35 am
His soul has such stain,
Old Scratch does not even deign
To drive Moe insane.
July 12th, 2013 at 7:15 am
Wait wait wait, it has not been this long has it? Arrrrrrrg.
Okay I have to stay afloat on some commissions but otherwise… Moe needs a future.
July 12th, 2013 at 12:59 pm
Do what you must do.
What is ten `Moe’nths between friends?
We’ll be here for you.
July 12th, 2013 at 2:14 pm
Firman speaks in code,
Admiral’s naval peril:
Pirate abduction!
July 12th, 2013 at 2:56 pm
Firman, zen master,
Provokes great doubt with comment,
Bids enlightenment.
The nautical implications are clear enough with “stay afloat”,
reference to “commissions” (clearly the naval commission of his
admiralty), and the piratical “Arrrrrrrg.” referred to above.
But meditation reveals further depth in our master’s kōan-comment.
The triplet “wait wait wait” is easily seen as a plea for
patience. But, further, its immediate placement after Nimz’ beastly
haiku begs a numerical interpretation, and that through rhyme with
mail-order telephone numbers everywhere.
Obviously, Firman is encouraging patience on our part, while at the
same time telling us that our previous goal of achieving the
reverse-haiku comment count of 757 is not nearly high enough.
Patience, grasshoppers,
The end of all things awaits,
New goal: triple-eight!
July 13th, 2013 at 4:40 pm
And eights, remember, are symbols of infinity, representative of our infinite faith.
July 13th, 2013 at 11:55 pm
The gauntlet is thrown.
Let us pick it up as one.
Never. Stop. Moe. Moe’ver.
(if we assume Moe’ver is two words/syllables, which I’m going to use the legal council of Palindr’moe’ to say this is true)
July 14th, 2013 at 2:13 am
Communication,
In haiku form, took over
On a birthday card.
I printed a card
I drew up in Photoshop
With haiku cover.
The recipient,
Unaware the stanza’s form,
Still thought it was nice.
July 15th, 2013 at 6:12 am
My excitement peaks!
Firman returns, and with news
A future for Moe
July 15th, 2013 at 6:31 am
675:
Oh Moe’ther where art thou?
Gone ten months – my strength nigh sapped.
Pee scent overwhelms.
July 15th, 2013 at 2:12 pm
Never have I done well
in a room full of pee smell
Someone, crack a window!
July 15th, 2013 at 2:15 pm
And alas, dear Admiral, the future of beloved Moe was never in doubt. Though merry fools be we, faith is kept that surely someday Moe shall stir and rise from his urine-soaked tomb. And, even were it never to happen, we shall remain in vigil. This is our custom, a people defined by scattershot haiku and ephemeral loyalties to another character we’ve created. This has become greater than any of us.
July 16th, 2013 at 2:04 pm
Wise words, Dear Friend Fren
What shall we call ourselves here?
Order of Moe’sph?
July 16th, 2013 at 3:47 pm
The Knights Who See Moe?
(Keepers of the sacred rice,
Raw fish, and haikus?)
July 17th, 2013 at 2:28 am
Personally, I prefer the Knights who See Moe, but I am not presumptuous enough to think that I will be initiated into such an order right away. Also, part of me almost just wants to see another comic of Moe lying in bed. Even more so though, I want to see the comic that was talked about but then never revealed.
July 17th, 2013 at 8:58 am
The comic which can be discerned is not the true comic.
July 17th, 2013 at 11:09 am
Not entirely sure what point you are trying to make Fren. I was referring to the comic that Firman talked about releasing around thanksgiving of last year, but then never did. I am very curious about said comic, especially because it was supposed to have quite a lot of characters in it.
July 17th, 2013 at 7:10 pm
Like Plato’s prisoners,
We see not Moe, but mere shadow,
Reflection.
This website, our cave wall;
Our comments, ignorance and myth,
Unknowing.
There is but one who sees.
There is but one who can teach us,
Enlighten.
Thus, The Knights Who See Moe,
An order consisting of one,
Exclusive.
The Admiral alone,
Has the vantage we lack; speaks truth,
Discerning.
Who has courage to stand?
Who dares behold the brilliant Form:
Moe P. Dope?
July 18th, 2013 at 12:37 am
My vote is also The Knights Who See Moe. Which means we need a banner, or a flag, or a banner flag. And we need this before 888. Which means we need it now.
July 18th, 2013 at 1:55 am
Thanks, Palindr‘moe’. I wasn’t sure if Fren was getting all metaphysical, or if he was implying some sort of hierarchy of Moe comics in which the ‘unseen’ comics are superior to the ‘seen’ comics, meaning that asking to see this unreleased comic would in essence be asking for a degradation of all things Moe.
July 18th, 2013 at 1:56 am
For the record, I definitely prefer your Platonian reading…
July 18th, 2013 at 6:23 am
About those shadows -
He is sometimes among us,
The one who casts them.
The Knight Who Sees Moe -
Can he teach us of the light
By molding shadows?
This part is not haiku,
Nor does it tie into the plot -
I see what you did there, Pal.
July 18th, 2013 at 12:27 pm
I am out of town until after the weekend but in this time I’m going to write the next strip, which has been the real hurdle.
Long hiatuses
Increase the writing pressure
Time to move forward
The idea for what comes next has transformed from what I first expected, but I’m still planning it to be a larger, several row strip. I can’t believe how faithful and tolerant you excellent fans have been. It should be rewarded!
July 18th, 2013 at 12:57 pm
Light from the heavens!
By which I mean Canada.
Trust me, it’s awesome.
July 18th, 2013 at 4:08 pm
From heaven? Maybe.
Canada? Very likely.
Both are called “Up North*”.
* from a USA-centric viewpoint
July 18th, 2013 at 5:06 pm
Hope springs once again.
The light at the tunnel’s end.
Keep your fingers crossed.
July 18th, 2013 at 9:11 pm
Weekend muses must
Whisper and inspire our own
Admiral, shining
July 19th, 2013 at 4:38 am
http://theangrydead.com/desperate-times/
Firman has survived!
Zombie attack fended off –
New energy gained.
July 19th, 2013 at 9:15 am
You may beknight yourselves, should you wish. Even amongst such gentle and wise company, each stands his vigil alone.
And yes, the comic which can be seen is not truly the comic, as it must be interpreted by each viewer to have meaning, and said meaning holds true for that individual. In this, we come to know the creator’s intent as well as our own.
And, since I’m off waxing philosophic, here is another koan:
If you meet Firman on the path, buy him lunch.
July 19th, 2013 at 11:46 am
Sorry, Fren. I understand entirely what you are saying now; I suppose my problem initially was that I saw it as some sort of response to what I said instead of a more general comment.
July 19th, 2013 at 11:49 am
Firman, I have a small idea of what you mean by the increased writing pressure because of the hiatus, so thank you for braving that for us!
July 19th, 2013 at 2:20 pm
Another day here
Brings us closer to four score
And Eight hundred eight.
As we reach onward,
Pivotal question remains:
Who will make the flag?
July 21st, 2013 at 12:16 am
imgur addiction
oh where did Moe-love go?
here i made this thing
Ha-Moe-Ken!
http://i.imgur.com/Ub409N4.jpg
July 21st, 2013 at 1:41 am
Just back-read some a few.
Firman, hiatus, new strip?
a very long one? great!
July 21st, 2013 at 1:47 am
That looks unpleasant,
Yet Moe’s visage of ennui…
Is Ryu just twelve?
July 21st, 2013 at 12:05 pm
56 comments to go till reverse haiku my friends. I hope we are all wearing our comfy pee-proof pants and mattress protector shirt.
July 21st, 2013 at 2:09 pm
I count fifty-five.
Funny, i am just one off.
oh wait, count this one.
July 21st, 2013 at 7:55 pm
Omi innovates:
A new industry is built -
Urine-proof trousers.
“I’ll buy ten of them!”
Said the savvy consumer.
“They make great presents.”
July 21st, 2013 at 7:59 pm
A new line of shirts -
That was also created.
How did I forget?
July 21st, 2013 at 11:30 pm
these hard to remove,
hopefully it’s waterproof.
Don’t want it to leak.
July 22nd, 2013 at 1:00 am
Does it breath? He asks.
If I do sweat, will it stick?
Give me twenty, please.
July 22nd, 2013 at 1:54 am
hmm, cash for answers.
should i feed this money cow?
Lemme think: seems legit.
July 22nd, 2013 at 6:42 am
Woe is me tonight.
My trousers got a new hole.
Now I moon, though clad.
I think I will buy
A pair of trousers that can
Resist pee and rips.
July 22nd, 2013 at 7:56 am
Simply stitch the hole!
Sew around the gap and then
across to close it up.
July 22nd, 2013 at 11:06 am
Nimz! You have now chaps!
Like mighty cowboy on plains.
Ride onward, trend setter!
July 22nd, 2013 at 11:16 am
have they ripped? well, yes.
think of it as an upgrade.
easy feces pants.
July 22nd, 2013 at 2:36 pm
Thanks for the perspective, friends. I doubt these trousers are pee-proofed now (if they ever were), but I can still be on the cutting edge of fashion! (tearing edge?)
You know, this reminds me of an episode of Duck Tales, in which Bubba Duck is searching for Scrooge McDuck in the time machine, and winds up breaking off the nose of the sphinx:
“After years and years of work, my sphinx is finally finished!”
*CRASH*
“MY SPHINX! It’s ruined! Ruined! Rui…
… Actually, I kinda like it.”
Search for a clip: vain.
I found the episode name:
Ali Bubba’s Cave.
July 22nd, 2013 at 4:22 pm
Searching for a clip
usually ends with this fate:
oops, got distracted.
July 23rd, 2013 at 1:12 am
Computer turns on
Anticipation building
Will it be today?
July 23rd, 2013 at 1:14 am
Alas, nothing new
the time is not right, not yet
maybe tomorrow
July 23rd, 2013 at 5:11 am
Meh, we must post more.
Our goal is not yet reached-ed.
The Infinite Eight.
July 23rd, 2013 at 6:06 am
The reverse haiku
Is just two-score away now.
A lesser goal: met.
I speak of the comment count on the last Moe before this one showed up. That was Reverse Minus Forty… though it did get a few extra posts post the pee-stained Moe post. So we have just a few more to go to make this the longest comment thread.
July 23rd, 2013 at 12:02 pm
Pile them ever skyward and we shall erect a monument of words, a figurative Tower of Babble.
July 23rd, 2013 at 5:09 pm
Babble babble yar
ibbley-doo yakkapoo
and sarah palin
July 24th, 2013 at 5:06 am
Ibbley-doo, reverse
Haiku, is coming to you,
Who takes the honor?
July 24th, 2013 at 5:07 am
(By which I was trying to say, “we’re nearly to the reverse haiku.” Who wants the honor? Although -now- I’m thinking about a mirror haiku universe. Where all of our haiku’s are filled with flaming trolls and hatred for a reverse Admiral (in this case General) who hates us in return)
July 24th, 2013 at 5:08 am
(And, following this logic, the General would be from South America. Say, Chile?)
July 24th, 2013 at 9:25 am
In each mirror universe
Characters must have
A smashing evil goatee
July 24th, 2013 at 9:24 pm
What does evil, goatee Moe look like?
July 24th, 2013 at 10:48 pm
Just like a `Moe’tee?
No, wait. That’s a T-shirt Moe.
That might be nice, too.
July 24th, 2013 at 10:56 pm
On a less metred note, this might make a good base for evil mod Moe.
July 24th, 2013 at 11:10 pm
Zero point zero:
is it greater than zero?
Firman’s Conjecture.
July 24th, 2013 at 11:23 pm
Mirror Moeseph Dope,
named “Epod Hpeseom”.
Too tough on the tongue?
July 25th, 2013 at 1:23 am
I reckon Reverse
Aspirate on the second
letter of surname.
It fits the `Moe’tif.
My tongue can wrap around it,
if but awkwardly.
False is flat zero.
FC’s infinitely false,
So it must be true.
Our appeal is
“Infinite zero is not” -
Firman’s Axiom.
Unless I misheard.
If FA says ‘naught’, not ‘not’,
Firman’s C. is not.
July 27th, 2013 at 2:24 am
Egads, there hasn’t been a new comment in days. I think you have left us all feeling confounded Nimz, well at least there was some momentary flustered sensations after reading those haikus….hmmm I’m not sure if that is the proper plural. Well, have we decided who is taking the coveted reverse haiku spot?
July 27th, 2013 at 2:25 am
For the record, my vote is for haiku. It is only fitting, being that we don’t have a ukiah.
July 27th, 2013 at 4:49 am
Or Palindr‘moe’.
Haiku got 5-7-5.
I say whoever.
July 27th, 2013 at 4:57 am
Epod’s middle name:
Can we say it’s “Nootnop” yet,
Or still too early?
July 27th, 2013 at 12:16 pm
I agree with Nimz.
This is for all of us here.
Even our mirror selves.
July 27th, 2013 at 12:20 pm
(Nootnop. Pontoon? Heh heh heh…I didn’t get that until I absolutely typed out every piece of it. I also believe that Mirror Moe would definitely be known as Epod instead of Hpeseom – at least when speaking with a familiar tone. In the mirror universe, I see them using last names as first names and vice versa. So -their- “Moe” is from the House of Hpeseom, but he’s known as Epod)
July 27th, 2013 at 12:24 pm
(-Speaking of which-, and padding the comments, What about the mirror universe’s (trying sound that out loud) Bo? Or Rocketpack Hunk? There is a whole pile of dark characters to pull out)
July 27th, 2013 at 2:16 pm
I love the sound of Epod from the house of Hpeseom, and I forgot that Haiku got 575, so Palindr‘moe’ should definitely take 757.
July 27th, 2013 at 2:19 pm
Unless of course there is a vote for someone else to take it. We could get all democratic in here…
July 27th, 2013 at 2:20 pm
I only really brought it up because I wanted it to be officially decided, so we could look forward to that moment
July 27th, 2013 at 3:28 pm
As long as we’re voting, I’ll put my vote in for Palindr’moe’ to take 757.
July 27th, 2013 at 3:32 pm
As far as Haiku’s question about Jetpack Hunk, I think a worthy theory is that he is in fact mirror Moe—Epod, that is, seeing as how he’s pretty much Moe’s opposite in every way. He just hasn’t revealed himself as Epod of Hpeseom yet. Thoughts? Or maybe he’s mirror Uncle Joe?
July 27th, 2013 at 3:42 pm
I did a quickie edit to see what the goatee on Moe would look like, and came up with this as a rough sketch (I’m not very good ad drawing goatees). It could be cleaned up better, but I think it already gets the idea across fairly well, regarding Epod’s evilness.
July 27th, 2013 at 6:46 pm
That is a fine Epod, I must say.
July 30th, 2013 at 12:32 am
One step closer to 757 and the mirror universe.
July 30th, 2013 at 10:11 am
Comment 757 is to the Moe community what 2012 was to the Mayans. So much discussion and debate and amazing artist’s renderings of mirror universe characters! My vote is for Palindr’Moe’!
July 30th, 2013 at 12:13 pm
And like the Mayans, comment 757 is coming. Every day brings us (and them) a little bit closer.
(Unless the Mayan’s were actually talking about comment 757 and all of our translations of their language and culture were horribly, horribly wrong)
July 31st, 2013 at 5:24 am
seven four seven
AKA mirror haiku
degenerate case.
July 31st, 2013 at 7:24 pm
Alternatively, it is
The number for
A line of passenger airplanes.
July 31st, 2013 at 8:58 pm
Haiku, you are making me absolutely so excited for the coming of 757…We can only hope that at some point in time Firman grants us some sort of alternate universe comic.
August 1st, 2013 at 12:10 am
I hope so too, Meh. But the Admiral does what the water’s will allow sometimes, and other times the Admiral makes his own waves. Comment 750! It has been stolen in non-poetic fashion. Only seven more, a universal week, who will fill the six and the last, the seven?
August 1st, 2013 at 10:02 am
I will take seven five one.
I am so greedy.
Me!
August 1st, 2013 at 4:40 pm
I present a time series of our comments for this comic since September. It shows how many comments per day we have posted.
CHART
I think I see Batman in the middle of November.
Also, as you can see, the highest-posting day was when the Admiral posted the comic. The second highest-posting day was just a few days ago!
August 1st, 2013 at 8:31 pm
CHARTS! Hooray for charts!
Charts are one of the best parts.
Three farts for charts! …… wat?
August 2nd, 2013 at 3:17 pm
Marking the passage of seven-five-four. Henceforth it shall arise nevermore.
August 2nd, 2013 at 3:29 pm
And oh, seven-five-five, I shall muse: Whatever happened to Cinema Girl, that flooze?
August 4th, 2013 at 10:23 am
It’s seven-five-six:
Anticipation in the mix;
The next shall decide.
August 5th, 2013 at 11:00 am
Mirror universe arrives;
Comics are reborn
As reflections of themselves.
Butt in rut? Turn it, tub!
August 5th, 2013 at 11:36 pm
Did I capitalize wrong?
Or is that normal?
This mirror world is so strange.
August 6th, 2013 at 12:25 am
Left is right and right is left
in the mirror world,
wrong is right and right is wrong.
Capitalizing the left-
most letter is right in
the normal, non-mirror world,
so capitalizing the
right-most letter in
the mirror world must be wrong.
However, the right-most let-
ter in the mirror
world is in fact the left-most.
Fish and raw rice! The mirror
world is confusing!
August 6th, 2013 at 12:39 am
Tread carefully. Remember:
objects in mirror
are closer than they appear!
August 6th, 2013 at 12:55 am
Brothers, it is now our time.
Break the light mirror!
We must invade the weaker!
August 6th, 2013 at 2:21 am
I hate this webcomic, and I don’t know why we all bother reading it all the time. I think we need to find this Firman character and make sure he never makes another comic ever again.
August 6th, 2013 at 11:22 am
Taking down the General -
That would be a coup.
Maybe Nootnop could help out…
August 6th, 2013 at 1:26 pm
Mirror Universe
Cool new mirror names for all!
eoM, toilE, and oB
August 6th, 2013 at 1:32 pm
Mirror or normal? Sometimes
I can’t tell. Can’t I
Sometimes?—Normal!…Or mirror?
August 6th, 2013 at 2:49 pm
Anagram haiku
Uh, karma again
Palindrome: A butt tuba
Burp a mottled unit. Baa!
Moe, Eliot, Bo
Bootee Limo (alternative line: “Elmo bootie”)
August 6th, 2013 at 5:34 pm
I found a passage while exploring this brave new world*:
seil-non on era ereht
ssalg gnikool eht ni
resuoiruc emoceb
I can only assume ‘suoi’ is two syllables (su-oi) and ‘seil’ one syllable (sounds like ‘sail’ or ‘sale’). I am yet uncertain whether it is read from top to bottom or bottom to top. Some punctuation might have helped, alas.
*The phrase ‘brave new world’ is uttered during a chess game in The Tempest. And what does Alice participate in when she goes Through the Looking Glass? (Okay, I admit, that’s a bit of a stretch, but my brain thought it was an amusing connection beyond the simple double-entendre earlier in the line.)
August 7th, 2013 at 8:14 pm
I can see what you did there.
For metered anagrams
Reflect this universe as well.
Airy, decadent white house,
Drama from teenagers
Causes hellfire, inverts welt.
August 8th, 2013 at 1:28 am
We must find the General.
Fight against this good.
Anyone bring the hammer?
August 9th, 2013 at 3:00 am
Seaside Search Party report:
General not found.
Error 404 in boats.
August 9th, 2013 at 10:40 am
It’s our lack of diligence
That is to be blamed:
General Protection Fault.
August 10th, 2013 at 12:54 am
Pee stains immortal,
A constancy through all time –
Urine unending.
August 10th, 2013 at 1:59 pm
This odd fellow speaks strange things -
`Your reign unending’?
And what a bizarre meter!
It’s obvious what to do.
Let’s accelerate
Our General-finding quest.
I forgot what we will do
Once we find that guy…
I know it was important.
August 12th, 2013 at 8:16 pm
Our task: find The General!
How shall we find him?
I hope we find him funny.
August 14th, 2013 at 5:05 am
I hope we find him armed.
Oh wait.
This is not a reverse haiku.
I don’t even know what I’m doing.
Don’t look at me…
August 14th, 2013 at 3:25 pm
Look! I found The General,
Not only funny,
I found him hilarious.
August 14th, 2013 at 9:25 pm
I approve this message from both dimensions.
August 16th, 2013 at 4:29 am
The General found,
Now may we turn ourselves ’round?
Our haikus are sound:
With an extra line be crowned!
August 16th, 2013 at 11:17 pm
Firman…we’re finished, you and I. I’m sorry. I’ve waited too long. I need a cartoonist that can commit. It’s just better if we go our separate ways. I’d like to say see you around but we both know that isn’t going to happen. Goodbye.
August 18th, 2013 at 10:53 am
Nils you obviously aren’t a firm believer in the notebook. WRITE A LETTER EVERY DAY TILL ONE DAY WE CAN REUNITE. no commitment
August 19th, 2013 at 5:12 am
Long couple of days
Waiting, hoping, that today
Would be the return
August 19th, 2013 at 5:16 am
I don’t really have the knack for haikus…and I was really excited hoping that there would be something special here. I love seeing your constant commitment Omi. I think there is something beautiful about the fandom for Firman, and I am happy to be a part of it in the little way that I am. Gosh, I was really hoping the alternate universe would have more comics, though. Actually, if it did, they would be awful and filled with a very attractive and intelligent character that has absolutely no charisma. Hmmmm…I like this universe just fine, because Moe is perfect just the way he is.
August 19th, 2013 at 5:36 pm
Annivers’ry approaching,
Moe Fandom coaching:
Oni laying down the law.
August 19th, 2013 at 5:41 pm
Oops, sorry for misreading
your name, Omi. Ser-
iously, though, I feel like
we should throw some kind of par
-ty come September
4th. Prose becomes poetry
when shoehorned into mirror
haiku format: Ad-
vice for Meh for future posts.
August 19th, 2013 at 10:09 pm
Wait. A party? I’m all there!
I mean, the party.
Please ignore me. I’m not here.
August 20th, 2013 at 10:03 am
Is there a critical mass of Moe fans in a single location to even HAVE a party? It should totally be a cosplay party. We *NEED* a cosplay Moe, Bo, Jetpack Hunk, and maybe that little devil guy!
August 20th, 2013 at 2:30 pm
Hey, what happened to my name? I think it wound up in one of those fun-house mirrors. o.O
If I had more time for arting, I would draw my rendition of a critical mass of Moe fans in a single location, in comic form. It would start with someone on a hot day, wishing for something to cool off with. That’s when they noticing a mound of (paper) fans. Printed on each of the fans is a picture of Moe with a word bubble. Each word bubble is a critique of some sort.
Needless to say, a party begins soon after.
The fans of paper that bear
A likeness of Moe
Have a critical party.
Grandpa Dope, not invited.
He showed, anyway,
Being quite a good critic.
August 21st, 2013 at 3:06 pm
Getting a tattoo of Moe
Is something I get,
(The lick-and-stick kind that is).
I can also understand
How many people
Have affection for paper.
Only one part leaves me lost:
Why are these inked-up
Paper lovers in a mound?
Twister game that’s gone awry?
Perhaps a flash mob
Impersonates candy bars?
August 21st, 2013 at 5:09 pm
Aye and aye, of all numbers to fear, that one is here. For the humble seven lives in terror no less than that of a scurrying field mouse that’s felt a hawk’s shadow as he gathered his grain on plains stretching for miles. What could threaten a nigh-insubstantial concept such as a number?
This inanity marks the passing of note seven-eight-nine.
August 21st, 2013 at 5:09 pm
(sorry lads, been horridly busy with projects at work and haven’t made the time to check in of late!)
August 21st, 2013 at 10:29 pm
Men overboard, aye
jumping ship they are, well fine
Hopeful crew remains.
Hark! 800 looms!
Weavers thread hope triumphant.
Splendid cloth of Moe.
August 21st, 2013 at 10:35 pm
(And I just have to remark: Admiral Firman has provided no fewer than 450 very fine comics. How many comics have each of us created? If he never created another comic, he has crossed the line into victory, and our respect. /salute)
August 22nd, 2013 at 2:06 am
Fans’ fans fan Fan’s fan fanny.
I think there was wind.
Fan had some sharp words for them.
August 23rd, 2013 at 2:54 pm
Banners and flags to be sewn;
Hail, looming weavers!
The Cloth of Moe needs your help.
I’m not exaggerating,
It’s embroidery!
Take up your cross. Stitch we me!
Gather your DMC floss.
But if you have none,
I’m sure dental floss will do.
August 23rd, 2013 at 5:37 pm
How did I miss the mistake?
Where I said “we me”
I had meant to say “with me”.
August 23rd, 2013 at 9:47 pm
Egad. Kill it. Kill it with fire.
August 24th, 2013 at 11:14 pm
Another day. Another post.
August 25th, 2013 at 2:06 am
I cannot seem to escape -
How do I get back
To a regular mirror?
At first it was uncertain, but now it is getting much, much clearer:
There’s no high ranking military leader in the funhouse mirror.
August 27th, 2013 at 3:44 am
I wonder how long we will be in reverse. What signifies the opposite? Still not a haiku, even lying down flat.
August 27th, 2013 at 5:40 am
I have escaped the funhouse!
There are two signals
To unmirror, I reckon:
One would be the special post
That will occur at
Eight and forty-four score posts;
The alt. possibility
Would be when we reach
The first anniversary.
Can we manage to make them
Coincide? That needs
Some eleven posts per day.
August 27th, 2013 at 9:25 am
Eleven posts / day?
I humbly contribute mine
We can do it, guys!
August 27th, 2013 at 2:08 pm
Yes! When is the time?
The anniversary time?
I mean the time date.
August 27th, 2013 at 2:31 pm
The anniversary date,
When this strip is 1,
Will be on 4 September.
If you want to time it out,
It ought to occur
Quite early in the morning.
August 27th, 2013 at 2:34 pm
Something is amiss.
Did I miss a memo here?
5-7-5′s back?
August 27th, 2013 at 3:35 pm
For zmiN, I have two theories:
One: The end is near.
Haikus start normalizing.
Two. Fun-house escape
Provides some inspiration
To break from constraints.
August 27th, 2013 at 3:37 pm
On our way to eleven,
I can do my part.
Personal quota fulfilled!
August 27th, 2013 at 3:42 pm
Such mirrors!
This universe is full of so many in different shapes.
Distortion.
I find my reflection altered by simple, mundane objects,
Utensils.
Here, for example, I see myself in both sides of my spoon.
August 27th, 2013 at 4:30 pm
Dear, err…
Listen hearer!
Clouds pass by my mirror:
Shadows fuzzy become clearer.
We can see the end is drawing nearer.
We can write in novel structures,
We can begin anew,
We can restart.
We can!
August 27th, 2013 at 4:55 pm
Sorry, wrote that last haiku wrong.
Mirrors are funny things.
I wonder if they…see us?
August 27th, 2013 at 5:49 pm
I would be surprised if not.
If names mean aught, then
A looking glass ought to see.
August 27th, 2013 at 10:00 pm
What’s the limit? What is our goal?
The finite number.
Seven syllables, or so.
August 27th, 2013 at 10:21 pm
Looking glass purveys hours
Of fuzzy logic
Concave’s charming comeuppance.
Bend and twist, visual lies
They play on the mind.
Light’s stubborn impertinence.
August 27th, 2013 at 10:37 pm
(No, seriously, what’s our target number for the Anniversary of September 4th?)
August 28th, 2013 at 12:19 am
Guys? Guys guys guys guys? And gals?
No one can hear me.
So many reflections – silent.
August 28th, 2013 at 12:38 am
To quote myself here,
The following clarifies
The target number.
“One would be the special post
That will occur at
Eight and forty-four score posts.”
You may recall in July
We saw decoded
The words of the great Firman.
August 28th, 2013 at 4:29 am
Eight and forty four score… that’s 888!
Looks like we’ve got work to do!
August 28th, 2013 at 4:41 am
Eight hundred eighty-eight: numerical divinity.
Turn it on its side, now see triple infinity!
Turn it halfway round, it is 888 once more.
Cut in half it’s equal to four hundred forty-four.
August 28th, 2013 at 12:30 pm
Drat…we have quite a ways to go, and I am busy this week
August 28th, 2013 at 12:31 pm
I will offer up my two short comments in the hope that they will help us attain numerical divinity!
August 28th, 2013 at 2:07 pm
From the other side,
Let us both assault this limit.
Break these barriers down.
August 28th, 2013 at 2:08 pm
(I’m going to post the Kayne West poem)
August 28th, 2013 at 2:13 pm
(There’s got to be a way to make this poem for Moe or Bo, but I’m not very good at rhyme – haikus being a bit of a cheat – but there are many here much more talented than I. I declare a rhyming adventure!)
This is the tale of Kayne West, who is snuggled in his Kanye Nest, having himself a Kanye rest, for he must be at his Kanye Best, before he’s off on a Kanye Quest, where he’ll be put to the Kanye Test, in hopes to retrieve the Kanye Chest that is distinctly marked with the Kanye Crest, He shall return to the Kanye Nest, and have himself a Kanye Fest, where he will welcome many Kanye Guests, but first he must be rid of Kanye Pests, before he can put on his Kanye Vest and dance at the party with such Kanye Zest.
August 28th, 2013 at 2:59 pm
This is the best I’ve got for a 15 minute attempt.
This is the tale of Moseph Dope,
Whose bed was called the Moseph Grope,
Spawned the lazy Moseph Trope.
To seek romance is the Moseph Hope,
From the movies girl, “Moseph, Nope.”
To the insane dentist, “Moseph, Cope.”
When the Catholic Moseph Pope
Swore he got the Moseph Soap,
But that just made our Moseph Mope.
Returning to the Moseph Grope,
To dream again of Moseph Rope
He made good on the Moseph Trope.
August 28th, 2013 at 3:40 pm
The most-recent poetry
Gave me an idea:
We need more clerihews here!
Moeseph P. Dope,
On seeing a wee slope,
Bemoaned his fate,
“I can’t believe I’m late!“
August 28th, 2013 at 10:28 pm
A tour through Moe history
In clerihew form?
That sounds like a winning thought!
Wallowing in the subfusc
Of his shrink’s musk,
Moe said while under duress
One single ‘yes.’
August 28th, 2013 at 10:30 pm
Well, technically two.
Just the first one was alone;
The next ‘yes’ had friends.
August 29th, 2013 at 1:02 am
Next we witness important,
Unforgettable
Plot-stuff that still bears some weight.
Moe dodged a bullet
When he relenquished his wallet,
But the main point here
Is a stomach given sans cheer.
I wonder if Moe has had
The time and motive
To get a stomach transplant.
Then again, Docs here…
August 29th, 2013 at 1:22 pm
zmiN
Is a mirror-universe twin.
He stretched the form of a clerihew,
For the first line should always consist of just a name, it is very true!
August 29th, 2013 at 1:34 pm
Dr. Unnamed Shrink
Had a Jungian think.
He would cure a mugging
With some inner-child hugging.
August 29th, 2013 at 6:23 pm
’ eom‘rdnilaP
If that’s so, my dictionary’s crap.
I looked up clerihew, not knowing what it meant;
Only the rhyme and meter information was present.
August 29th, 2013 at 6:40 pm
Oatmeal,
In a strip surreal,
Defies gravity and dines
On Moe’s punchlines.
August 29th, 2013 at 9:00 pm
We are making great progress
But the road is long.
I wish I had a link here.
August 29th, 2013 at 9:01 pm
(Although I am most definitely enjoying old school Moe)
August 29th, 2013 at 9:01 pm
Old Schomoel?
August 29th, 2013 at 9:02 pm
I’m so bad at this…
August 30th, 2013 at 1:00 am
So many new posts!
It’s almost like Jetpack Hunk
Had brought us right out of our funk.
But of course, that’s ridiculous–he’s a drifter.
And doesn’t have an ounce of mattress stain-lifter.
August 30th, 2013 at 3:46 am
ukiaK, I believe it’s
“Old Sch`Moe’ol” for that.
Don’t know ’bout the syllables.
Billy
Test fires a homing missile, willy-nilly
His aim for crap targets went too far
And blew up Moe’s car.
August 30th, 2013 at 11:41 am
zmiN, you’re quite correct that, today, many dictionaries aren’t worth the paper they aren’t printed on.
But, meanwhile, I was being too strict in my definition of a clerihew. The first clerihew ever composed did consist of just a name on the first line:
Sir Humphrey Davy
Abominated gravy.
He lived in the odium
Of having discovered Sodium.
But Mr. Clerihew himself did compose several that were more free with the first line, consisting of verse that included a name:
“I quite realised” said Columbus,
“That the Earth was not a rhombus
But I am a little annoyed
To find it an oblate spheroid”
It only irritated Brahms
To tickle him under the arms
What really helped him to compose
Was to be stroked on the nose
[http://www.verse.org.uk/what-is-a-clerihew.html]
And as repiP has shown, such a technique can be used to great comic effect.
August 30th, 2013 at 11:53 am
A 911 dispatcher
Sent aid for Moe’s car’s sudden fracture.
He asked for a ride in the back seat:
“Since it’s free it’s the best kind of taxi“.
August 30th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
Officer Mallay
Was the first to be colored in shades of gray.
Mightn’t it be nifty
If Firman had used fifty?
August 30th, 2013 at 6:10 pm
Officer Dumpty
Has a head round like Humpty.
He’s here to serve and protect,
And insists you give guns due respect.
August 31st, 2013 at 9:28 pm
Who here remembers sweet raven-haired Fay?
In museum’s halls, she led Moe’s heart astray.
But not for long, cuz Moe got it wrong
Or maybe Admiral Firman didn’t think she belonged.
August 31st, 2013 at 9:32 pm
But I saw today the pretty senorita Fay,
and rued to myself, what a shame she didn’t stay!
But then Moe wouldn’t be hiding some pee stains,
And we’d not be writing clerihews—to Our Great Pains!
September 1st, 2013 at 11:57 pm
eoM found on the floor,
While asking to stop at a store,
A napkin of bloody fingerprints.
“Shall we ditch ya?” yallaM reciffO hints.
September 2nd, 2013 at 12:08 am
ytpmuD reciffO concedes
That stopping at the market here leads
To freeze-treats.
They, too, got out of their seats.
September 2nd, 2013 at 12:16 am
yallaM reciffO isn’t sanguine about juice.
He wants eoM to reduce
A frozen pile of entrails
Not capable of betrayals.
September 2nd, 2013 at 12:24 am
eoM wants juice of kiwi fruit,
But the grocer is an insufferable brute:
“We’ll carry that never,”
Plus banter with various amounts of clever.
September 2nd, 2013 at 12:38 am
In memory of C. Scrawl
Two thugs plan the fall
Of the Taxi of Justice.
“Let’s do this”
I temporarily stop:
I will not monop-
olise the good cop bad cop.
September 2nd, 2013 at 12:47 am
“yallaM reciffO isn’t sanguine about juice”
Should say ‘reduce
TO a frozen pile…’.
Add that to the typo file. :\
September 2nd, 2013 at 3:28 am
We have only two days.
September 2nd, 2013 at 3:28 am
(That was almost the start of a reverse haiku)
September 2nd, 2013 at 3:29 am
This anniversary is important to me, very important, and I will follow the words of Moe to bring it home.
September 2nd, 2013 at 5:02 am
First
September 2nd, 2013 at 9:33 am
Clerihews be damned. Or are they cleri-pews!?
Mine stink, anyway…Two days.
Thirty-four more posts.
A challenge: Word grist, commence!
September 2nd, 2013 at 1:14 pm
My run of half a dozen
Was for this end goal:
The right count at the end time.
Mallay and Dumpty
Will not last much longer now.
I gave y’all a chance.
September 2nd, 2013 at 1:22 pm
First, eoM has a plan
To get kiwi juice in a carton or can.
It backfires, making his eye sting.
Quothe he, “I’m just browsing.“
September 2nd, 2013 at 2:00 pm
Officers and juices need to be iced
(This is before they can be raw fished and riced).
Kiwi with strawberry is close enough,
And those thugs are still out there, acting tough.
Connection woes,
The greatest foes.
September 2nd, 2013 at 2:10 pm
ytpmuD show off his smarts:
If their bullet-proof vest parts,
They could cool down some.
“DAY-UMN!“
September 2nd, 2013 at 2:16 pm
This Moe clerihew comes without a link
And this, I think,
Is right for our readership
In the spirit of violence censorship.
September 2nd, 2013 at 3:47 pm
Eight-eight-eight closer than ever
hasten the annivers’moe’ry
September 4th, September 4th.
September 2nd, 2013 at 9:13 pm
What is going on over here?
My name has gone… sideways?
Huh.
September 2nd, 2013 at 9:21 pm
I suspect this paradox
Is due to closeness
To eight hundred eighty eight.
The gangstas, revenged,
Have become a bit unhinged.
eoM doesn’t notice the war they fought,
“Check out this great shirt I just bought!“
September 2nd, 2013 at 9:32 pm
MADD failed;
The gangstas were not jailed.
A deus ex machina drunk driver
Leaves eoM a survivor.
September 2nd, 2013 at 10:01 pm
I think I broke the machine before. It wouldn’t post all my words.
September 2nd, 2013 at 10:05 pm
The machine shut down, but it was worth it to push it through.
September 2nd, 2013 at 10:34 pm
My ability is nothing compared to that of zmiN, m1t, and others…
September 2nd, 2013 at 10:37 pm
…..but I’m going to do what I can.
September 2nd, 2013 at 10:46 pm
The goal is all important, almost no matter how we get there.
September 2nd, 2013 at 10:52 pm
Plus all good pastries have a little fluff, marshmallow, in-between.
September 2nd, 2013 at 10:53 pm
Consider this such vacant sugar, until my friends can deliver the solid coating on either side.
September 2nd, 2013 at 10:58 pm
I wonder how many of these I can post.
September 2nd, 2013 at 11:04 pm
It seems if I just want long enough, it will let me keep posting.
September 2nd, 2013 at 11:07 pm
And we have only one day left, it’s time to push hard.
September 2nd, 2013 at 11:41 pm
Unlike squishy Moe.
September 2nd, 2013 at 11:42 pm
But with the brains of Bo.
September 2nd, 2013 at 11:44 pm
And the scowl of Grandpa.
September 3rd, 2013 at 12:00 am
Last one. We’re almost there!
September 3rd, 2013 at 12:02 am
ukiaH,
When the deadline is nigh ya,
Does the mirror prematurely break,
Or are my eyes believing a mistake?
September 3rd, 2013 at 1:17 am
Oh dear–I never thought of that–broken mirrors bring bad luck, zmiN!
As demons of misfortune could sneak through the din
Of our shattered vanity; and we, sporting safety glasses and brooms
Must stand fervently vigilant, until proper abnormality resumes.
September 3rd, 2013 at 1:45 am
No cause, repiP, for alarm or concern.
At eight hundred four score eight posts we should return
To our re-inverted selves
With no broken mirrors or shelves.
I dare not think on the chance,
Slim as it may be,
Of anything breaking then.
September 3rd, 2013 at 11:10 am
Haiku’s great effort
Has brought us much closer to
our goal. Yay Haiku!
September 3rd, 2013 at 11:36 am
All Hail, ukiaH–err Haiku!
Who provided that which had been meagre hitherto
Down the home stretch we justly are
Nearing when I can again play my guitar.
September 3rd, 2013 at 12:07 pm
Anyone up for cheese rings?
They should be okay.
Still. Only slightly bloody.
September 3rd, 2013 at 12:11 pm
Can’t believe it’s been a year!
Talk of mirrors, brooms,
And funhouses while we wait.
The birthday is drawing near;
And a question looms:
Who shall author triple-eight?
Who’s a worthy volunteer?
September 3rd, 2013 at 12:14 pm
[Drat that premature posting...]
Who’s a worthy volunteer?
Universal glooms
To dispel with comments great?
What I’m trying to say here,
As the deadline looms,
zmiN’s the one I nominate!
September 3rd, 2013 at 12:43 pm
OH GOD ITS THE ANNIVERSARY HERE. HAPPY NEW YEAR OF MOE GUYS!!! let us pray for the good admiral’s safekeeping on his mighty quest. GOD BLESS ADMIRAL FIRMAN, GOD BLESS BED RIDDEN MOE, AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL
September 3rd, 2013 at 12:45 pm
also after this current post whoever comments next will secure post 888 congratulations to them. we are a motley crew, a ragged band of misfits and miscreants but we stand strong in support of moe’s eternal struggle with pee stained bedding
September 3rd, 2013 at 7:20 pm
Still a couple of hours early, but I think I’m ready here.
Ahem.
Such a notable post count
Deserves to have verse
Of a multitude of kinds.
As zmiN, the sole nominee
I accept this mattress stained with pee.
I just wish I had half the bravado
Of a halved avocado.
From a shrink and to the sky,
We have followed this Dope guy.
And if our Admiral at sea be lost,
We’ll find him again no matter the cost,
For he showed us the Best Pie.
Eight hundred fourscore and eight
Shows that Firman sure is great!
I gret just one thing:
I have no banner to bring
But a song to sing.
I don’t think this is anything to mope about, though, because
Favourable art in words
(And sometimes in surds)
Sure beat my visual turds.
My palindrome skills are lacking.
This verse is written upside-down!
You’re reading this top to bottom?
Reading on comments of yore
I am reminded
How everyone is awesome.
Through stories spun of ARCHERY STORE AMAZONS and doctors of ill repute (and questionable phar`Moe’ceuticals – they never did give me that Schedule V stuff), 3D Moe and candy sketches, minimalist haiku and palindromes, epic haiku combobs and koans, anagrams and an Admiral awkwardly accepting all awe, cats are only spared when current events no longer block creative tetrises.
And now, time to close
In the traditional form
Of raw fish and rice.
* bows, takes the award, and passes out upon smelling it *
September 4th, 2013 at 9:17 am
WOW! Happy birthday, Moe #855!
September 4th, 2013 at 12:22 pm
http://www.firmanproductions.com/?p=855#comment-11806
The need for a banner/flag/bannerflag is stated.
http://www.firmanproductions.com/?p=855#comment-11945
The need is fulfilled. I no longer feel so guilty for not having made the banner to put in the anniversary post.
It seems the mirror universe spell is still affecting some. For those that would come back to this reality, speaking the following magic words may help:
Hocus pocus! Turn!
Raw fish and rice awaits us!
Abracadabra!
And because my mirror counterpart neglected to mention it, Happy first birthday, Moe comic #450. May you eventually be potty trained! Also, (early?) Happy first birthday to Philip’s child! May it be the first of many!
September 4th, 2013 at 12:27 pm
http://www.firmanproductions.com/?p=855#comment-11806
The need for a banner/flag/bannerflag is stated.
Same url, but comment-11945
The need is fulfilled. I no longer feel so guilty for not having made the banner to put in the anniversary post.
It seems the mirror universe spell is still affecting some. For those that would come back to this reality, speaking the following magic words may help:
Hocus pocus! Turn!
Raw fish and rice awaits us!
Abracadabra!
And because my mirror counterpart neglected to mention it, Happy first birthday, Moe comic #450. May you eventually be potty trained! Also, (early?) Happy first birthday to Philip’s child! May it be the first of many!
Comment blocked by moderation
Due to two included links, it seems
Spurs the thoughts to the creation
Of alternate info conveyance.
Conveyance rhymes with seems, right?
September 4th, 2013 at 1:39 pm
Ooh it feels so good;
Bask in the pampering warmth,
Freedom from mirrors!
I love that the air
Reaching, tickling down my throat
Isn’t reflected.
I slow clap for Nimz
And his mirror counterpart,
Poetry sublime!
For what it’s worth, though,
Nimz’ spell didn’t work for me.
Here’s the word I used:
Abracadacarba!
September 4th, 2013 at 1:44 pm
Despite what I said,
This unreflected air smells
Of soggy mattress.
September 4th, 2013 at 2:46 pm
Eh? My guarantee
Of that spell working was wrong?
Maybe just for me… :\
Perhaps as a start
Our spells can be used to help
Others find their own?
Be that as it may,
Our freedom from silvered glass!
Deliverance, yo.
Oh, the freedom from
Perplexing contortions is
Ever sweet for me!
(Hidden words abound
And remind of heros both
Abroad and right here.)
September 4th, 2013 at 2:48 pm
Thank you Nimz! That worked! I’m no longer stuck in the mirror universe! But now Moe has pee stains and the bed looks like the pit of a halved avocado…
September 4th, 2013 at 2:51 pm
Let’s see how soon Google indexes this page to find the word “abracadacarba”… Maybe we can use it a lot in abracadacarba-based links to bump this page’s rank in Google…
September 4th, 2013 at 8:32 pm
Doramjan, hurry!
If Moe and the bed have swapp’d,
Event horizon…
… Means every future
Moe will be the unseen Moe.
Save Plato’s cave `Moe’n!
September 5th, 2013 at 1:26 pm
That was so beautiful…
September 5th, 2013 at 1:27 pm
Oh, and abracadacarba. Is that how you spell abracadacarba?
September 5th, 2013 at 10:38 pm
I’ve only heard of abracadacarba being spelled abracadacarba. Maybe if you spell it bac… Hmmmn. That… which side of the mirror am I on now, anyway?
September 6th, 2013 at 9:07 am
Not sure why, but I can no longer see the strip itself. Even if I flip through archives and come back to strip #450, it’s not there.
I think someone invoked abracadacarba one too many times….poof!
September 6th, 2013 at 10:15 am
and piper scores 900. good god this comic is like a breeding ground for achievements and milestones
September 6th, 2013 at 2:38 pm
The second appearance of the dispatcher
Shows her neck that really increases her stature.
“EMERGENCY DISPATCH!”, she cried. And her boss opined,
“We’re 911… Is there any other kind?”
September 7th, 2013 at 6:41 pm
I’ve heard of someone named Sadi
Whose claims to sainthood are rather shady.
When, like Moe, he leaves his drink behind by mistake
He covers it with a purchase that’s fake.
September 7th, 2013 at 6:44 pm
[Once more, with feeling! And perhaps this time with a functional link...]
I’ve heard of someone named Sadi
Whose claims to sainthood are rather shady.
When, like Moe, he leaves his drink behind by mistake
He covers it with a purchase that’s fake.
September 8th, 2013 at 12:29 am
Why do I come back?
All we ever have are poems.
Oh, I guess that’s why.
September 8th, 2013 at 2:27 am
Mr. Dope confirmed his full name
And received a tricycle that came
With apologies for exploding his car.
You won’t get rust stains from that handlebar.
Palindr‘moe’, considering the line you chose for the link, it’s almost appropriate it was fake the first time through.
September 8th, 2013 at 4:49 am
Moe’s next-door neighbor
Is a connoisseur of machines for manual labor.
A tricycle sucks, as he knows,
But it’s he himself that really blows.
September 8th, 2013 at 3:22 pm
(That one was particularly awesome)
September 8th, 2013 at 9:29 pm
Another Mallay and Dumpty strip is up next. I wonder if the Billy that’s being threatened by them is the same Billy that blew up Moe’s car. They look different, but that could be the passage of time affecting young ‘uns more strongly. Did Billy have an indirect hand in meting out poetic justice?
Soon, clerihews for
Cinema Girl and boyfriend:
Angela and Josh.
September 9th, 2013 at 9:45 am
Raw clerihews and rice?
September 9th, 2013 at 12:00 pm
Hmmmmmmmn…..
If you see Admiral Michael Firman
In a tank named for Sherman,
It sure would be nice
To offer him raw fish and rice.
September 10th, 2013 at 2:41 pm
What? Officers Dumpty and Mallay
Alive? Why didn’t they stay
Dead? Oh, or is this just a flash-
back? Showing their evil schemes to get cash?
September 10th, 2013 at 4:33 pm
The deeds of Officer Mallay
Remind me of the NSA.
They’re supposed to protect and serve,
But they’re rifling our private photos—the nerve!
September 10th, 2013 at 4:50 pm
That kid on the billboard, (…Billy?),
Has a grin that’s remarkably silly.
In all my years,
I’ve never seen another smile that extends beyond the wearers’s ears.
Though he’s got nothing on Moe,
Basking in the billboard’s glow.
From this vantage it’s hard to make his features out,
But if that upper lump is not an eye, then he’s got a mouth like a trout.
September 10th, 2013 at 5:12 pm
This old geeze was a big bag of sass,
There’s no way he was letting Moe pass.
When he asks a question rhetorical,
He won’t accept a response interrogorical.
September 11th, 2013 at 12:56 am
Cinema Girl (née Angela)
Has a few questions for this Moe fella.
“Are you okay? Your eyeballs are hearts.”
“Oh my God! That’s how a hazardous eye disease starts!”
September 11th, 2013 at 4:09 am
Moe needs to come up with a joke
To cover his pretty pretty choke.
It’s a close shave,
But he makes an epic save.
September 11th, 2013 at 9:58 am
Poor, sad Moe;
Romantic missteps have left him feeling low.
He picks himself up with his imagination,
Of forgiveness, a date, hand-holding, love, and zombie decapitation.
September 11th, 2013 at 5:03 pm
A Lump of Stupid interferes
When Moe wants to apologise for tears.
Moe can see he’s being let*
By the Lump’s unintentional threat.
* archaic meaning
September 11th, 2013 at 8:55 pm
Moe gets a shiner for his wise talk.
He continues to learn why not to mock
The looks of maidens fair:
Da-Doink! I hope the freak has a spare pair.
September 15th, 2013 at 9:02 pm
A monument erected,
Sodden and much urine stained,
Of arts being perfected
With raw fish and rice engrained.
Though the ink wells seem nigh dried
In our current dormant state,
From the sea, where we reside,
Come reservoirs by the crate.
Lest our hero feel neglect
From the sports on his TV,
Let’s strive to show him respect
The Sanchez fly hit won’t see.
Whatever.
September 16th, 2013 at 10:37 am
I am not so poetically skilled to contribute, but I just want to say that I *LOVE* these comments summarizing old comics. WOW
September 16th, 2013 at 3:06 pm
Doramjan, it doesn’t take much to try.
What do I look like to you, some kind of poet guy?
You can find Poem Valley, most def.
As long as you remember your <a href>*
* <a href=(url of the old comic being referred to)>
September 16th, 2013 at 3:08 pm
Oh, and don’t forget the </a> at the end of what you want to be hypertexted. >_>
September 17th, 2013 at 4:13 am
Our sweet prince’s jokes are not very fresh,
And they just don’t mesh
With the clown’s studio routine.
Pretty sure that clown is heckling the next time he’s seen.
September 17th, 2013 at 8:12 pm
I could’ve sworn I wrote and posted a clerihew for the unnamed detective shortly after the unfresh prince one. Maybe I fell asleep instead of hitting the Submit Comment button. Let’s see if I can recall it well enough to rebuild it from scratch…
An unnamed detective
Will hear defective
Intel on who iced two cops.
At the news he will lose his bottle of rye schnapps.
I have not heard of scotch whiskey being referred to as schnapps, but a certain dictionary (the same one that failed to inform me about the name-in-the-first-line convention for clerihews… maybe I should check other sources…) told me schnapps can be any strong, dry spirit.
September 17th, 2013 at 9:02 pm
Cinema girl wrote a note
For Moe’s tricycle to faithfully tote.
While thoughts sway toward the visceral,
Moe is reminded the other hand is literal.
That one took a while to find a suitable word to rhyme with ‘literal’.
September 18th, 2013 at 12:05 pm
yes but nimz whilst schnapps may be scotch scotch may not be schnapps. there are very specific laws governing what may be classified as scotch whisky
September 18th, 2013 at 4:49 pm
If scotch is specific and schnapps is vague, I don’t see that there would be an incorrect usage of words, despite the loss of detail, in referring to the specific thing in more generic terms. Or put another way, as far as I can tell, scotch is a subset of schnapps. If there are scotches that are not schappses, I will gladly rewrite the clerihew to be more faithful to Film N’Moe’ir.
September 19th, 2013 at 5:53 am
it’s much like how a square is a type of rectangle but a rectangle is not a type of square. the addition of extra guidelines separates the two in one direction. so whilst cola is a type of soft drink, soft drink is not a type of cola.
September 19th, 2013 at 5:54 am
I realised I like beverages a lot and probably have a drinking problem.
September 19th, 2013 at 8:55 pm
Squares and rectangles -
These I understand. But now,
Q: Is scotch the square?
September 19th, 2013 at 9:01 pm
If ‘Affirmative’ is the A:,
The rectangular schnapps can stay.
But if square scotch is not quite true,
I will rewrite that clerihew.
September 19th, 2013 at 9:22 pm
Meanwhile, Moe appears okay
As he goes to purchase a bouquet.
The flies from Moe’s wallet indicate
The florist’s day will go great.
September 20th, 2013 at 4:01 am
Moe waxes philosophically
Whilst hand-crafting a bouquet methodically.
A picture of Moe’s heart
Must include fungi as a part.
September 20th, 2013 at 4:06 am
Um, this should be a working link.
It didn’t care for the missing http:// I think.
September 20th, 2013 at 11:59 am
oh man now I come to the hardest day of my life: calling scotch square. the mantra “it’s hip to be square” just doesn’t prepare you for the day. I forgot all about moe’s early wooing days
September 20th, 2013 at 5:27 pm
Moe takes his paper stuffed with wheat and ‘shrooms,
And all the hair not on his head, he grooms,
“I’m sure that slushie slave won’t notice the bouquet’s messiness,
When she’s distracted by my half-closed-eyelid sexiness!”
September 21st, 2013 at 11:25 am
The ace gumshoe rides solo
Hot on the tail of the ’76 El Bolo.
He’ll stick around ’til that cock-eyed, chrome-domed cookie is ready to blow,
Without the greenbacks, he can’t rub him out during the picture show.
September 21st, 2013 at 2:10 pm
Huey Lewis and the News
Did their best to prepare you to call good booze
By a term generally not considered friendly.
For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about forcing your hand there, Omi.
September 21st, 2013 at 2:40 pm
Angela’s Boyfriend‘s mom and dad
Seem to have given him a name that would have had
A terrible emotional impact:
Have you seen grade-schoolers with tact?
September 27th, 2013 at 12:00 am
Josh is not Angela’s boyfriend!
She hates him, the end.
“Don’t you dare hit the lady, you jock!”
“I will — the same eye, I’ll sock.”
For reference, see the Da-Doink! from comments a fortnight ago.
October 1st, 2013 at 3:17 am
I pull up a chair.
Dust rises and heads look up.
Both will settle soon.
October 9th, 2013 at 9:13 pm
*BLAM!* (reload) *BLAM BLAM*
The gumshoe fired his gun to
Make sure it still works.
A return of sorts
To haikus and to posting.
Too literal link?
October 9th, 2013 at 9:21 pm
Angela likes the hand-picked arrangement,
But her face undergoes a strange derangement
When shifting moss shows
Something that will decompose.
October 9th, 2013 at 9:25 pm
Now Angela wants to pour out her heart.
Pouring out blood and guts is Moe’s part.
“Can you share with me those emotes
In the form of cliff notes?”
October 9th, 2013 at 9:30 pm
The PI plugged a slug in the ugly lug’s jug.
Moe, your grave has been dug.
In the midst of a confusing situation,
The detective proves to be a master of negation.
October 9th, 2013 at 9:40 pm
“Moe, wasn’t your stomach shot clean through?
Couldn’t that kill you?”
“No stomach was in that bullet’s flight line.
It’s fatal if I die, but ’til then I’m fine.“
October 9th, 2013 at 9:47 pm
The gumshoe is not only a master of not,
But mastry of logic he’s also got.
“Because you were shot in the belly,
So thus ergo you murdered Officers Mallay and Dumpty!”
October 10th, 2013 at 9:28 pm
For the fiftieth episode in the story of Moe,
His cuffs are too tight, but he can still show
None can ignore him, despite fashion sense,
When he releases his flatulence!
October 10th, 2013 at 9:40 pm
Angela could not confess her true feelings,
While Josh wanted more Moe dealings.
My question for Josh (please leave me from the answer, spared):
How do you give a wedgie to someone un-underweared?
Someday Cinema Girl will return, when we least expect it.
October 13th, 2013 at 2:59 am
Someday comes sometime.
The spark of hope still persists.
Don’t stare, just be warmed.
October 16th, 2013 at 10:26 am
it will soon arrive
it is on the horizon
1000 posts. fuck.
LET US MARCH ONWARDS BROTHERS. i even made a haiku just for this non-event occasion
October 16th, 2013 at 11:09 am
I pondered Moe’s plight
And emailed the Admiral.
Report: HE YET LIVES!
October 17th, 2013 at 3:12 am
nearing a thousand
as brother Omi says, march
onward! for Firman!
October 17th, 2013 at 3:14 am
Falos’ words are few,
but hold a wealth of meaning.
Mad props to Falos.
October 17th, 2013 at 3:23 am
Moeseph Pontoon Dope
slipped on a bar of soap.
as he fell to his aft
the audience laughed
at a tried and true comedy trope.
October 17th, 2013 at 3:25 am
I will reach one thousand,
All by myself,
all I have to do
is lower my standards
and not worry about rhyming or line lengths.
October 17th, 2013 at 3:27 am
Doramjan! Could you
construct another one of
your Batman-esque charts?
October 17th, 2013 at 5:27 am
I have never been good at rhyming or line lengths.
but what I lack in skill
I make up for in enthusiasm
and persistence.
maybe next time
October 17th, 2013 at 9:38 am
m1t, I will try to make a chart, but I just fractured my ankle. It may be a while. . .
October 18th, 2013 at 1:04 am
You never notice how much you use
Your ankle
Until one day you find it
Fractured.
October 18th, 2013 at 1:14 am
Dr. Mad
Doesn’t think Moe had
His stomach mugged a long while ago,
As the evidence of comic #2 does show.
October 18th, 2013 at 1:21 am
Slippy Kip
Wants you to rip
And roar with raucous laughter.
Did Moe like jokes ‘Moe’re a few years after?
October 19th, 2013 at 8:26 pm
Beds are for relaxing,
not for chores!
Not work that’s taxing,
but rather snores!
October 23rd, 2013 at 8:37 pm
We can’t quit so close
to one thousand! C’mon guys,
let’s make this happen!
October 24th, 2013 at 12:28 am
Tension is building.
Each post makes us more restless.
Anxiety grows.
October 25th, 2013 at 7:11 pm
Anxiously waiting
waiting waiting anxiously
wait anxiously wait!
October 28th, 2013 at 7:48 pm
Will this bed of pee
stains and relaxing become
Moeseph’s final rest?
Will he soar no more
on the wings of humorous
misunderstanding?
Pray that it be not
so! Come, let us hasten the
return of Moeseph!
October 29th, 2013 at 12:43 am
One thing we can know:
`Moe’ssiah will come again;
Thus sayeth scripture.*
* `Firman’st book of Dope, chapter 7, verses 12-13. Or in some editions, chapter 12, verses 7-13.
October 30th, 2013 at 10:36 pm
this tension is like a ballista
or maybe a catapult
I still haven’t got this poem thing down yet
October 31st, 2013 at 5:03 pm
Happy Hall’Moeween!!
November 1st, 2013 at 2:44 am
Happy Halloween!
November 1st, 2013 at 10:02 pm
Hallow’s eve has passed,
And we approach the thousand!
Press on, my comrades.
November 3rd, 2013 at 1:05 am
sorry i’ve been gone
though busy with school business;
i always check in
i have not forgotten
November 4th, 2013 at 11:46 am
Does anyone have the artistic chops to halve an actual avocado, and carve Moe’s likeness into the pit? That would be the ultimate fan-art for this comic!!
November 5th, 2013 at 5:54 am
That would be so cool.
I don’t have the time or skill:
Big test this weekend.
November 6th, 2013 at 2:41 pm
That would be the ultimate Doramjan.
Wait, that would be the ultimate comma Doramjan.
Hmmm. Let’s get on it.
November 7th, 2013 at 3:13 pm
One step closer to 1000
November 8th, 2013 at 9:25 pm
Never stop moving.
November 8th, 2013 at 11:12 pm
don’t stop, never give up, keep on commenting till we reach the top
November 10th, 2013 at 3:18 am
1000 and then a 1000 more
Love every post, ain’t no chore
November 10th, 2013 at 7:06 pm
If I get ahold of an avocado, I’mma take a hack at it, but I don’t have any legit cutting tools, just household knives/blades.
November 11th, 2013 at 9:59 pm
I wonder how many posts until we crash the server? Not that I want to rob us of Moe, but definitely curiosity.
November 12th, 2013 at 9:10 am
15 more 15 more all we need is 15 more
November 12th, 2013 at 9:10 am
wait that made it 14 and this makes it 13.
November 12th, 2013 at 12:25 pm
I think we might have found it
November 12th, 2013 at 12:26 pm
welp nevermind it wouldn’t let me comment for a while there
November 13th, 2013 at 1:07 pm
I run into that problem all the time.
November 13th, 2013 at 1:08 pm
But the gate keepers are relatively polite.
November 15th, 2013 at 3:30 am
Don’t give up. Only eight more to go.
November 15th, 2013 at 4:36 am
The March goes onward.
Then it becomes November.
March is a pun, see?
November 15th, 2013 at 4:45 am
I wonder who shall have the honour of 1000.
November 17th, 2013 at 5:39 am
I wonder what Moe would do with an air-mattress
November 18th, 2013 at 9:02 am
or a sleeping bag
November 18th, 2013 at 10:22 pm
Or a water bed.
November 19th, 2013 at 12:52 am
or a pull out sofa bed.
November 19th, 2013 at 4:18 am
Or seven bunks above a single pea.
November 19th, 2013 at 11:46 am
Seven bunks above
A single pea is quite clear -
Just two words: `pea’ stains.
Now, for my recent lack
Of clerihew look-back
I apologise much -
Soon I return to such.
November 19th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
BY GOVE WE’VE DONE IT. HUZZAH. HUZZAH. HUZZAH
November 19th, 2013 at 12:04 pm
aw man that was meant to be jove. Gove is place >.<
November 20th, 2013 at 3:40 am
We did it? Were there internets won?
The ride thus far has been so much fun!
I would like to say some thank you stuff
To Firman, for pausing long enough.
I’ll have MORE thanks when more Moes get done.
I mean. like no pressure. There’s lots of gratitute going on here, for serious. But woah man! if you’re allergic to thankses, watch out when the next strip gets posted.
Here’s to Moe’s eventual rise out of the pit of held-by-matress’s-event-horizon.
November 20th, 2013 at 8:54 pm
One thousand and four!
Here’s to many more!
November 26th, 2013 at 10:34 am
If Moe didn’t cause a space-bending singularity alone, 1000 legit comments loaded with miles of poetry did the rest.
In case it wasn’t clear, I just pointed out that this we’ll all be collapsing into a black hole shortly. It’s been an honor working with you folks, /tiphat.
November 27th, 2013 at 3:02 am
That’s not to `Moe’ntion
Uncountably many puns.
Meet y’all closely, soon.
November 28th, 2013 at 4:00 am
Relativity
takes up five whole syllables -
Limits my poem!
November 29th, 2013 at 1:40 am
Happy Moesgiving!
December 3rd, 2013 at 6:19 am
My first haiku is
Not of celebration but
Where are the comments?
December 3rd, 2013 at 6:21 am
My next haiku comes
In a black-sealed envelope
“Firman gone for good?”
December 5th, 2013 at 7:57 pm
I’ve seen some weird stuff.
I’ve explored the internet.
This page stands alone.
December 6th, 2013 at 3:12 pm
Dece’Moe’ber is off to a slow start for comments. Come on! Let’s show our Christ’Moe’s cheer!
December 7th, 2013 at 9:58 am
Doramjan is right! Although, what would Moe celebrate? I think Christ’Moe is it. He’d take all the presents and then return the ones he didn’t want unwrapped.
December 10th, 2013 at 3:57 pm
What about a Moe’neku? I’m not sure how to promote that one.