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I still have to focus on some rap/commission stuff, but I am improving in mental health and I think that will mean good things for keeping on top of Moe too, even if it’s not daily.
I was blown away by all the creativity in the comment dungeon below the last comic. I would like to aggregate links to the fanart and creations in a news post. I was scared to read them for a while because I thought people would be raging, but my audience amazes me again. I hate that I abused your patience.
Wow! I almost didn’t believe it! I love the new autumn color scheme. Praise be to the Forman! The pee stains probably come from all his 12yo soccer buddies.
Firman, I would say welcome back, but…
This is your home.
So better….
Thanks for inviting us all in.
I know too well the guilt that can build when many people are interested in a creation that you’ve made, but that you don’t have as much time for as you would like. (And the nasty cycle of “But now that it’s been so long, they will be expecting something truly grand. So I’ll have to wait until I’ve got better ideas…) I applaud you for overcoming any of that.
Finally, by definition you can’t abuse us as an audience. You’ve freely shared something that has entertained us all. So thank you for sharing your unique talents with us! Please continue to share whatever you would like as long as you are having fun. And try to avoid any habits of thought or action that make Moe feel like an obligation.
I really do admire your artistic style and the way you use it to express humor and wry comments on life. Thanks again for everything.
Four hundred, fifty
Grace this story’s artful fate.
Hats off, we thank you.
(Firman, no apologies needed. You bless others with your art; as that karma returns to you, it is well-deserved. We thank you for what you share and ask for no more. Do what you must; do what edifies you, as healing comes in art’s expression. Morever, quality trumps quantity-you’ve given us that already.)
(As an aside though, I follow various webcomics; I admit to getting slightly sad when artists don’t update according to schedule for whatever reason, except for this comic. Not only is the art and dialogue constantly of high quality, the comment section community we’ve built is so great, I’m ok with waiting as long as it takes for updates to show up.
So, I encourage those irritated to join in with a comment. If you feel like you must voice disappointment, though, at least channel that into something positive, you know? Write a haiku if you’re into that, or whatever, there’s no pressure, just throwing that out there)
Haiku, or prose, or drunken limerick; post how ye wish it. Complaints, praises, recipies for lunches gone by. Pile these here, and high, to a mighty number. Just know that as the blinding light of the cursed daystar sears our retinas each day, so too shall Moe return to us. Good things come to those who will be patient and wait.
Oh happy day! I don’t have the mad skills like these guys to come up with a rhyme or Haiku so fast, but glad to see you back! And not just because it means more awesome free comics.
Haiku rules = simple
hard to follow exactly.
an extra syllable?
Seriously, I wish I had something clever or witty to say, or a cool chart to share. But unfortunately I do not. I will take the easy way out and simply say ‘raw fish and rice’.
In light of the haiku-alanche, I present prose in a differing form. Ponder ye this old koan:
Once the monks of the eastern and western Zen halls in Nansen’s temple were
quarrelling about a cat. As he saw this, Nansen held up the cat and said,
“You monks! If one of you can say a word, I will not slay the cat.”
No one could answer, and thus Nansen cut the cat in two. Nansen told Joshu what had happened, and asked him for his view. Joshu thereupon took his sandals, put
them upon his head and went away.
Thus spake Nansen: “If you had been there, I could have spared the cat.”
I’m not very good at koan’s, but I’ll try one I was told a while back.
A man was looking for a mystery book.
He looked to Moe and said, “where do I find this?”
Moe responded, “when you can drink the river in a single gulp, you will find your section.”
A man wandered into a forest accompanied only by his trusting dog. He was seeking freedom from his poverty-stricken lifestyle by escaping into true independence.
As he survived in the wild he found it intensely difficult to procure food for himself and his canine companion. After several days of almost no nourishment, he had to decide whether or not to eat his poor, trusting friend.
In the end, he decided he would have been better off sticking with raw fish and rice.
A boy grew up listening and loving rock and roll. He ate nothing but the bread that restaurants left on tables.
When he grew older, and his beard was as long as his hair, he began enscribing his wisdom in ketchup upon every piece of restaurant bread he came upon.
Unfortunately, when he started writing these information thoughts on tables, chairs, plates, and waitresses, he was informed that he “Must keep the comments on a roll”
I got the next Moe all roughed out, it’s eight panels and features lots of old favourite characters. But I don’t know if I’ll get it done in time before I head away for the THNAKSGIVIG WEEKNED. So either really soon or pretty soon!
Wow, this is like a magical wish machine! I envision something and it comes to life! OK, um, OK…. I envision myself with . . . ONE MILLION DOLLARS! *looks around* Dang, that didn’t work.
Teh_Bucket, awesome work! I love how Grandpa is aloofly ignoring the whole scene by playing cards with someone off-scene… classic.
Lovely work, if slightly blasphemous. Perhaps the Almighty will smile upon it, for He has created the platypus and in so doing has demonstrated His divine sense of humor.
Still a WIP, but this is the germ of the idea I had. Still haven’t figured out what Moe responds with, but probably something along the lines of being put out for toture. Eliot is so insensitive to Moe’s needs. Here it is.
I’ve actually decided to try to come up with something different as the next strip – the one I had going with the old characters wound up being insensitive because of something that has come up in the news. I’ll still use it, but later.
I actually care less about the idea that it’d be insensitive and more about the idea that people would think I’m trying to comment on current events!
There’s a thing called news?
You mean media are used
For things not quite Moe?
I don’t pay any attention to the news or current events, so I wouldn’t know if you were commenting on them or not unless it was blatantly pointed out. But I can see where you’re coming from. At least you’ve got a guaranteed ringer already in place for some time in the yet to come.
Awws, shoot. All I’ll be able to think about is which eventual comic Firman is talking about, and with which news event it would be considered insensitive.
Let me practice… The current strip about the bed and the event horizon is insensitive to English Mastiff owners.. see this CNN video.
Dearest W, (8)
My idea is as a (11)
Boa on fire. (9)
28. The use of a single letter for three syllables is a bit cheap, though. In the spirit of rectification, here is an alternate first line with same letter count:
“I am a hobo.”
Some other good words for letter reducitation and syllable maxification:
Io (2/2), area (3/4), cameo (3/5), alien (3/5). Apparently Iouea (4/5) is a genus of Cretaceous fossil sponges.
earthworm winnow ginned
Traceback (most recent call last):
File “MakeHaiku.py”, line 27, in
print(getLine(7))
File “MakeHaiku.py”, line 8, in getLine
idx = random.randint(0,len(words[toGet])-1)
IndexError: list index out of range
I… am not sure if you’re referring to politics or Halo. Yeah, I’m that sheltered in my ivory tower of mathematics.
If it’s politics, I didn’t even look at the US election results until just a moment ago. I was just making a pun on the common chant for those that support incumbents. Whether the beers are celebratory or inebriatory in purpose is irrelevant to the pun I was making.
If it’s Halo, I’ve never played any of the series, so if there is a character called Chief-Master there, I have no opinion due to lack of any relevant knowledge.
And so I don’t stray too far out of form, I shall append this relevant haiku.
i have finally returned after almost a year of not having a functioning computer. and i find moe has had a metaphorical orgy of updating. this is most good. although this latest one dates back a bit i am still in a righteous mood about the whole thing. also good to see haiku still doing his haiku thing along with mr carp. i haven’t been here since the late great superduck and gregory power combo of 2010 and 11. those boys were something special. anyway here i am getting all old and sentimental an’ such, forgive this old fool for caring too much :’)
Fren, does that mean Moe has finally found the love interest that takes his breath away? Who knew it would be as simple as a finding the right matress!
Nimz, as always, the key to love and mattresses is simply size. Though many and more go for the queen sized bed, trust in me on this: a full is big enough to share, yet small enough that sharing is fun.
But, as goes, Moe shall never find love so long as he’s displaying urine stains upon his mattress.
ah so it is, my mistake. i find patience and other peoples haikus to be the best way to get sir firman posting comics again. but out of curiosity how would the moe-pun-less kickstarter project work
Thank you everyone for staying tuned! And Doramjan for his bribery support ( I still owe him something fantastic )
I’m not going to say any excuses! I’m just going to get back into a Moe routine, but not as frequent as the beginning of 2012. We’ll see how I manage!
Let’s arrange a firm date, even though mid-December to the new year will spell trouble for a schedule. New Moe strip by December 4th, or else everyone has to post mean haikus about me.
Yeah unfortunately it looks like it’s going to take the 4th to make it, since the 3rd has unexpectedly been a bust. I’m so rusty, I just hope I don’t end up with something entirely lacklustre. 2AM – I need to go sleep!
Man, I’m starting to feel incapable of making things :C
When is this lull going to end?
This remains my best idea so far, but still seems kind of dark for the official archives, I don’t know: http://www.firmanproductions.com/latrine/abandmoened.gif
With Firman’s sketch,
The lull is terminated
Without prejudice.
Seriously, Admiral Firman, whether or not you decide to do anything
more with that sketch or include it in the archives, I am so glad you
shared it. I really can’t recall having ever laughed so much at any
other comic you’ve written. This one is truly brilliant and one of your
best in my opinion.
If this reflects the state of nearly-rejected ideas, please keep sharing!
Unchanging comic
Rewards repeated viewings
With laughter anew.
I can’t help it. The final punchline panel should have lost its punch for me
by now, since, having read it over and over, I know the ending. But I still
laugh out loud every time I look at it. Comedy genius.
Oh Admiral, you need not worry yourself. No matter what form Moe takes, we have always enjoyed it. To quote you from earlier this year:
Firman
March 7th, 2012 at 9:05 am
What if I just end up having a terrible month this year? Like all of June, the punchlines are about how much Moe hates Mondays & how much he wants some coffee. Can you forgive me? Will you forgive me?!
Please don’t leave me.
I can’t face Mondays alone.
Face your fears, Admiral! You aren’t alone. We’re all in this together.
Alright, yes, I shall grant you, the remainder of us merely consume the content you provide. However, I think it of note that we’re all very sweet, kind, supportive and decent folk that never, ever chide you about anything. So, really, just throw down how you’d like. Schedule or no!
One wonders whether Mister Moe
has ever considered becoming
a practitioner of Zen philosophy.
Back-of-the-envelope calculations suggest
this would be instant comedy gold.
A Moe comic on the cutting room floor
Leaves fans patiently waiting for more.
For though Firman’s rusty,
In time we trust he
Will find his groove for Moe comics galore.
Doramjan, the graphs and charts are beautiful, as always. The comment count tracker graph looks rather like a sideways parabola, or a square root function. Perhaps a regression curve could be drawn to extrapolate.
How did I get so big in the word cloud? I guess I could reread some of the comments from the start…
… okay, I’m back. And I found out the real reason Moe hasn’t updated yet, and why the good Admiral Firman is having artist’s block. There hasn’t been another child born since the week of Moe #450. Experts are baffled at the global population actually declining over the past three months.
I suspect any three letters when converted to hex, and the hex code converted to colour would tend to be dark greyish. This does not negate the fact that <color=MOE> would fit nicely with the current web page colour scheme.
Doramjan breathes life
Into the stagnant comments
With cool graphs and charts.
Nimz, you’re absolutely right that pretty much all the ASCII values for words would make about the same shades of dark gray, but not all names translate to the exact length hex value for a color Moe is only 3 letters so it works great!
I don’t recall seeing any posts that got eaten up. Maybe it was a dream? Speaking of dreams, a haiku happened in an IRC channel I visit that could be tangentially relevant here, too, so I’ll say it again:
Life is but a dream.
For some it is lucid dreams.
Others have nightmares.
Stand your ground, lads. Scan the foggy shores, for the times nears. Saint Admiral Firman shall come and launch new comics down the exhaust ports of our dwellings. He shall! HE IS REAL DAMN IT.
Yes, DORAMJAN, there is an Admiral Firman. He exists as certainly as wordplay and multi-layered artwork and sarcasm exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Admiral Firman. It would be as dreary as if there were no INTERNETS. There would be no childlike exclamations of POO! then, no haikus, no comments to make tolerable the inevitable waiting between comics. We should have no enjoyment in either point or click. The eternal light with which Moe fills the world would be extinguished.
Speak not of such things, Palindr’moe.’ Let us never give up hope. The apocalypse has come and gone but the seas are still waving. So does the Admiral still sail and we must wait until the winds of change bring him back to us.
Which I don’t say to be secular, but because I like phrasing things in silly new ways. I am out on the family gathering tour with only my laptop, but I am hoping I can still make a strip if I could just end this damn creative block!
We had it all wrong! The Admiral is not lost at sea but, in fact, beached! We must bombard him with the rain of new ideas – leave nothing out – so a tide of bad humor and good fortune may wash him back to our tiny island!
Firman: you underestimate just how much I’m loving these German jokes. I’ve been teaching myself the language for about six months now! Sie ist meine Lieblings-Sprache!
Seriously, though, let’s have conversations in German. Please?
be caladlana the elf prostitute of Mirkingrad. in other news, i hope everyone had a joyous season of celebration, and i wish lord firman all the best in crush the ruinous forces of creative block.
Yes, I think this shall work as an allegory. The tetrads are the mental detritus of our dear Admiral’s block. We must work to clear them away, line by line, so that the spice may flow once again.
Derp, just mixed metaphors. In an allegory. Not gonna be the best year, is it?
Or it’s going to be an amazing year! Who says we can’t mix metaphors. Where else can a five year old who only says “poo” become an astronaut and meet Jet Hunk, a rocket powered explorer of space? And this is not including the Moe family, the tooth brush psychopath-girlfriend, and – well – Moe himself.
Spasibo, Doramjan ^^ All I could figure out was “you” and “Svetlana”, I really don’t know a lot. I do have the alphabet memorized though
Omi, good idea.
Firman, gutes Glueck mit die naechtse Comic! Ich kann nicht warten! Ich liebe dich und deine Fangemeide, dass ich bin ein Teil von sie Es tut mir Leid wenn dies ist schlecht, ich habe grammatik Probleme auf Deutsch ^^;
Since our dear Admiral has a block that no amount of rum may flush, I submit that we begin posting ideas for a new story arc. Perhaps one of our thoughts may serve to eliminate the log which jams his creative river. Firman needs a writing team! Perhaps we may yet serve.
New Fir`Moe’n comic:
Moe saves an author insert
<strikethrough>With raw fish and rice</strikethrough>
<strikethrough>From Firman Subfusc</strikethrough>
From raw fish and rice.
we should do a tandem story write-up like those things where each person adds a line and it goes to all sorts of wacky and zany places or as is more common, butts and the like.
ill kick us off as i have very little else to do at 1:50 in the morning.
moe stared off into the sunset, his bald head glinting majestically in the sun…
also if i don’t return to add to or finish this story then my house has been engulfed by the fires that are turning my country into the fire nation. it has been a pleasure to serve aboard this comicship under the command of the great firman. a poignant moment of reverence for the brave posters we have lost over time: Kanye, Gregory, superduck, superduck’s ghost, carp, and countless others who i have shame fully forgotten. and a heartfelt salute to those whom continue this proud tradition, you do all those who came before you proud. Omi signing off to start packing for evacuation out of the danger zone. later homeboys.
…moe ends up resembling the drop as a result of the beating which leads to extra hilarity as everyone starts beating the burning drop bear and drop moe out…
also i am back, the fire was a great big let down for me as the only property damage i suffered was shattering my laptop screen to hell in my haste to pack.
… which are wielded by ARCHERY STORE AMAZONS!
The Amazons tell Moe to get down on his knees while making hand gestures.
Moe just stands and looks while still wearing his headphones.
Moe shrugs and says “what?”
(ohohohoho, i bet you all thought i stopped posting, which is understandable, but i’ve been doing some Big Life Things and haven’t been able to post with my usual zealous regularity. this may or may not change soon? at any rate, i’m not abandoning the site and i’m certainly not abandoning Moe by any means)
*comes into the room* Hello, I’m your doctor. May I ask what you’re here for? Oh, if you’re wondering why you can’t feel your legs, that just means the Novocain kicked in, so don’t worry. We administered it directly to the breakage sites!
(See … I think it would have been in a Firmanesque sense of humor to indicate that Moe had no legs due to him being listed on his ID as a leg donor. But eh, it’s not my story!)
my dear fren it is everyones story at the moment. treat it like the wanton hussy it is and take it round the block. this story is the filler crack whore whilst we wait for lord firman to bring us the properly illustrated and hilarious genuine high class escort that is moe
“… No, you don’t understand, Doc Cal, I’m a piano donor, not an organ donor. … Yes, you can have the tuning fork, Hey! That’s a wishbone, not a tuning fork!”
My confidence in the competence of doctors in this realm has actually gone up due to this encounter.
Health care or health scare?
Doc has a knockout technique -
I’m out seven teeth!
(At least I was rendered unconscious for the duration of the knee amputation surgery. I’m not sure how they managed to remove my knees and leave my legs and feet attached to the rest of my body…)
Haiku, they only gave me the Schedule II stuff. Imagine how much more interesting this would have been if they bumped me all the way up to Schedule V! Oh, and by ‘they’ I mean Them! Somehow I got transported to a hospital where all the doctors and all the other patients are giant ants. But they’re pretty friendly, so it’s all good. You can tell the President he can stop sending fighter jets to ‘rescue’ me.
Such a show of bladder control! To top off a small wine glass, pinch off and hold the remainder is truly a show of remarkable tenacity. You keep at ‘em, Moe.
Wow. That is eerily appropriate. That may also be the explanation for Moe’s failed attempts at love – he’s only had human love interests instead of mocking birds.
I’m going to bounce back. I’ll figure out a way. It’s been months since I’ve even drawn anything which is shameful, but also means the artistic urge is getting backed up. You folks have been unnaturally patient and forgiving and that demands some kind of rewarding payoff.
Just wanted to let you know that although I’ve never posted I’ve been following Moe for years, and you always do great work admiral. I’m sure I’m not the only one fondly F5′ing from the shadows.
When haikus fail, what will bring news of Moe?
When after months of wait there’s still no show,
What else can we, the stubborn faithful, try?
Moe’s fast asleep, in bed (whose forms defy
The laws of nature, as we’re told). And so
We wait, write haikus, many in a row,
Draw sundry fan art gifs, and hide our woe
In cheerful comments written with a sigh,
When haikus fail.
If forum posts are still not running low,
Is it because, deep down, we simply know
That Moe, for all his dumbness, cannot die?
We hold out hoping, yet we know not why:
And therefore, friends, I offer this rondeau,
When haikus fail.
Silent Fan, I want to echo what you were saying. I rarely if ever comment on here, but I frequently F5 with a hope that will not fade. Admiral, you have more followers than I can count on 2 severed hands.
Another drop in the ocean.
I am stricken by the notion
If Moe stayed in bed this long
(Of course I might just be wrong…),
He’ll need some calamine lotion.
(Random thought, what if the Admiral sails away with 450?)
(Which one of us will compose his lyrical diddy?)
(Is that even a word?)
(How patently absurd.)
(I know rhyme not hello kitty)
Heh heh, we should really start having some Moe related holidays. For example, how would Moe celebrate Saint Patricks? Spoiler: I imagine a great deal of vomiting.
my st patricks day was celebrated the traditional irish way, alone, with a bottle of whiskey, listening to the pogues and christy moore. irish heritage shines through. has moe got any irish blood in him?
26 1/2 hours that the post 450 slot was available before being taken. We are clearly `Moe’ch too chivalrous for our own good. Congratulations, Palindr`moe’!
I’m glad Palindr’moe’ got the magical ’450′. I didn’t have anything *NEARLY* clever enough to occupy such an honorable comment slot.
BTW, Not Darren appears to be a friend of Firman (see http://www.darrencalvert.com/links.htm ) Maybe it’s some friendly banter to prod the Admiral into action? If so, I say “double dumb butt”!
in light of this news DUMB BUTTS AHOY
comment 5 7 5 shall not be mine as alas my skill in the haiku is sorely lacking. but i am confident that you, my brethren have the strength within you to muster up the mightest haiku the world has ever seen.
Omi, comment 5 7 5 doesn’t need to be a haiku. It just needs to happen. This is what is most important. Almost as important as figuring out what our -next- goal will be. Did we ever reach comment 1000? Or reverse haiku of 7 5 7?
“This is it, boys, this is war – what are we waiting for?
Why don’t we break the rules already?
I was never one to believe the hype! Save that for the black and white
Try twice as hard and I’m half as liked, But here they come again to jack my style…
That’s all right. I found a peestain in my bed tonight.
Stops my bones from wonderin’, just who I am, who I am.
Well, some nights I wish that this would all end,
Cuz I could use some friends for a change.
And some nights I’m scared you’ll forget me again,
But some nights I always win.
But I read these posts,
And I renew my hope
Oh Lord, I am more sure
What I stand for–
What do I stand for?
Oh, Moe!
What do I stand for?
Oh Moe!”
Those stains will be a heck of a lot harder to clean out now than they were then. Incendiary measures may be the best way to deal with it now. Moe, you need to find a pyro woman to be romantically involved with you.
Doram you are entirely correct. I was, and am annually re-, born on the fourth of May. Don’t listen to the Illuminati’s plot to make the date of my special occasion ambiguous.
Pardon my absence, gentlemen. I have been away in the mist-enshrouded land of Missouri. They sell hard liquor in the gas stations there. Never have I known such fabled lands.
If the uttered words of our sages are to be believed, Minnesota is the land of many lakes. Missouri is the land of one American cultural hero, this Tom Sawyer I’ve read so much about. They also serve a great deal of chicken fried steak, I believe this to be a local delicacy. Yet still, friends, imagine it: in one stop, you can refuel your conveyance, procure tobacco, beer, bourbon AND a sandwich. Truly, this is God’s own design.
No, friend. If such things were allowed, humanity would descend further into being the most lazy race. We’d be contending with cats and sloths at that juncture.
Cats are a universally accepted as clumsy asshole ninjas and sloths go with any suit, jungle, or urban environment. I think Omi is on to something. Perhaps Moe ordered one of these tob-beer-bons and is simply waiting for it to arrive.
Though your assessments of such animals are realistic, know ye this: cats spend many, many hours of each day sleeping. That is plain lazy. And sloths? They hardly move at all. Give them a couch and a remote control and they’d likely starve to death.
Moe, however, is simply a Zen master. He has no wants. He is free from desire. Understanding the true nature of beds, he knows that such fickle works would only be undone, in the end.
Moe updates several times daily, with our thoughts and brief communiques. The Admiral only swings through port nigh a few times yearly, as his heart belongs to the sea. We merely line the shore and await his return.
This comic could probably be made into a `Moe’ntage. Every panel would be Moe in his bed, with a variety of poses and levels of lighting. There are probably better `Moe’ntage ideas, but that one could work.
Moe rests, but is not rested;
Slumber tantalising daily, hourly, minutely, by the second.
Annoyances plague the mind.
‘Elliot, though I wait, I am not a waiter. I don’t need your tips!’
Why does Moe wait?
Romantic interests do not simply fall from the sky;
Make your destiny, Moe!
Oh yes, he shall marinate and contemplate the meaning of existence. The banality of it all. This comic is the stuff that a master’s thesis in psychology is made of.
just realised it has been more than 7 months since an update and at times i find myself hoping the update never comes because this comment thread is great. but then i realise how much i love reading moe and i have to chastise myself.HOW DO YOU CHOOSE BETWEEN TWO THINGS YOU LOVE??
I’ve talked briefly to the Admiral about such a thing and he has politely declined at current. This doesn’t mean his opinions haven’t changed, or that I’m a liar, but I think we’ll have to wait a little longer.
I’ve been getting some increased pressure to make a book lately, which I reckon means demand is increasing?! So maybe it will actually be feasible to recover costs with a printing.
Moe should be resumed before any kind of book launch though. And I’m still ultra-embarrassed by a lot of the old strips. Personally I’d prefer to release a “Best of” collection wherein I select my favourites, rather than an exhaustive series that tours the entire comic. But some of you might disagree!
I’ve thanked you awesome people for sticking by me before – to repeat it after so long would cast doubt on its sincerity. I have to demonstrate this gratitude in the form of some damn comics. Now that the number of visitors on the site has dwindled to a tenth of its prior average, some of the performance anxiety may actually be lessened!
Do what makes you most comfortable, Herr Admiral. On one hand, your refinement of the form has proceeded remarkably from the early days. Yet, on another, nobody will recognize the heights you’ve attained without staring deep into the abyss of your earlier works. For a fine example of another artist that began humbly and truly broke out down the line, check out String Theory. No need to be embarrassed. It happens to be the way things work, is all. Over time, with practice, you improve and refine.
neither, at least not anymore, now I’ve just got all this sweet dough ray me floatin round. and a very cranky wife. apparently the baby “WASN’T” for trading. first I ever heard of it.
(Fren, thank you for the deep compliment. I am not as good at poetry as some of you, so forgive my attempt if it hurts too deeply. The works you, my friends, have shown before have inspired me to compose with careful deliberation. Congratulations on 575. Let’s now make it to reverse haiku, 757)
(Agh, rereading this I can definitely see some mistakes I made in my syntax. Again, forgiveness, poetry is probably one of my weakest skills – right up there with piano juggling. Next time will be better)
Thank you, my good friends.
Your patience, I needed it.
Appreciated.
There once was a man.
No, a captain. Who sailed away
with Moe and a plan.
Travel away, he did,
Across the internet sway.
Doubt, fear, he forbid.
Time passed and beards grew,
Lord Duke of all he purvey,
Admiral made true.
Now Lord Commander,
Firman brought the world’s umbrae,
Moe, the white anchor.
Across the wide world,
From whitest Canada clay,
to Australia furled,
Of Texas down south,
Plus the Martians estray,
Loyal through all drought.
They wait patiently.
For, He will return some day.
From sea to aerie.
Moe will never die.
His image our ships forestay,
Moe knows no goodbye.
holy shit you have no idea how hard it was not commenting, but it was so very worth it. godbless you Haiku you glorious son of a bitch, truly the great firman lay his guiding hand upon thee when you crafted this poem
September 4th, 2012 at 2:45 am
Allow me to start
A fresh new page of comments!
Hurrah! Moe is back!
September 4th, 2012 at 2:45 am
I… I had almost given up hope… But here it is. New Moe.
… It’s more beautiful than I’d ever imagined.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:47 am
Seven-seventeen:
Not a bad number for posts!
Let’s never forget.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:49 am
I’m so big fat sorry to everyone :C
I still have to focus on some rap/commission stuff, but I am improving in mental health and I think that will mean good things for keeping on top of Moe too, even if it’s not daily.
I was blown away by all the creativity in the comment dungeon below the last comic. I would like to aggregate links to the fanart and creations in a news post. I was scared to read them for a while because I thought people would be raging, but my audience amazes me again. I hate that I abused your patience.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:52 am
Really though – no big.
Trees more creatively ripe
simply don’t exist.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:53 am
And I’ll add: welcome!
Take all the time you need, sir;
the fanbase can wait.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:57 am
Second addendum:
Though patient, my excitement
incites dribbling glee.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:58 am
Event horizon:
My first serial update
Has escaped from it!
\o/
September 4th, 2012 at 3:00 am
My first reaction
On seeing a different page:
Girlish squeeing. EEEEEEE!
September 4th, 2012 at 3:33 am
Ha ha, all this wait
And there is a word missing
In the dialogue
But don’t seek it now
I fixed my writing error
With Photoshop tricks
September 4th, 2012 at 9:57 am
One last little graph,
in honour of comments past.
Note the sharp upturn.
September 4th, 2012 at 10:02 am
Alas, our good Admiral shall never fail us! He merely teaches us to be patient and humble, for he shall always return a bounty from his long voyages.
September 4th, 2012 at 10:53 am
Holy &#$@, an update!
Haiku’s heart swells with happy-joy.
But deep sadness, why?
September 4th, 2012 at 10:54 am
The fated number.
The goaled one thousand, unreached.
What will Firman think?
September 4th, 2012 at 10:55 am
And how? The tablet…
…broken and out of use, no?
Admiral wonders.
September 4th, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Checking everyday.
Updates, why have you left me?
Long wait justified.
September 4th, 2012 at 1:40 pm
At last, he returns!
And there was much rejoicing.
And much pee stains, too.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Wow! I almost didn’t believe it! I love the new autumn color scheme. Praise be to the Forman! The pee stains probably come from all his 12yo soccer buddies.
September 4th, 2012 at 4:01 pm
I can’t express my joy. except… one moment…
September 4th, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Firman, I would say welcome back, but…
This is your home.
So better….
Thanks for inviting us all in.
I know too well the guilt that can build when many people are interested in a creation that you’ve made, but that you don’t have as much time for as you would like. (And the nasty cycle of “But now that it’s been so long, they will be expecting something truly grand. So I’ll have to wait until I’ve got better ideas…) I applaud you for overcoming any of that.
Finally, by definition you can’t abuse us as an audience. You’ve freely shared something that has entertained us all. So thank you for sharing your unique talents with us! Please continue to share whatever you would like as long as you are having fun. And try to avoid any habits of thought or action that make Moe feel like an obligation.
I really do admire your artistic style and the way you use it to express humor and wry comments on life. Thanks again for everything.
September 4th, 2012 at 9:26 pm
Hooray! I crashed!
Had to re-find page, new comic!
Felt like unreality.
Firman, Welcome home.
We admire Admiral.
I love what you make.
After our comments,
A different punchline is nice.
No raw fish and rice.
September 4th, 2012 at 9:31 pm
Raw fish and rice lives
Evermore within my heart,
And in my name: Carp!
September 4th, 2012 at 11:06 pm
I for one welcome
Raw fish and rice overlords
Ya, this joke is dead
September 4th, 2012 at 11:09 pm
Now that Firman reigns,
redundance is not needed.
Firman holds the reins!
September 4th, 2012 at 11:49 pm
YES. I’ve literally been checking the site EVERY DAY for updates. You’re the best, Firman, keep it going.
September 5th, 2012 at 1:34 am
Never stop the raw fish and rice.
September 5th, 2012 at 3:30 am
Raw fish and ROCK! *guitar solo*
Sorry for being the only one who was negative about your absence, Firman. I will follow you without question, Admiral.
By the way, anyone else having flashbacks to when Moe sh*t the bed?
September 5th, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Did someone say raw fish and rice?
September 5th, 2012 at 6:23 pm
This is the happiest day of my life! My wife has our first baby, and Michael Firman writes a new comic! What could possibly be better than this?
September 5th, 2012 at 8:17 pm
Finally I can relate to Moe!
Minus the pee. Ew.
September 5th, 2012 at 10:35 pm
Congratulations,
On your new baby, Philip.
I hope it’s named Moe.
September 5th, 2012 at 11:27 pm
Thanks to this comic,
Philip will now introduce:
Firman, the Godfather.
September 6th, 2012 at 1:33 am
Child birthed unto Phil
on the week of Moe’s return;
Stars align, joy reigns.
September 6th, 2012 at 1:34 am
Nimz brings smooth fan art
Whilst breathing life to a joke
that I won’t let go.
September 6th, 2012 at 1:44 am
Could someone hurry up and birth another child so that I can make the next comic?
September 6th, 2012 at 1:47 am
Four hundred, fifty
Grace this story’s artful fate.
Hats off, we thank you.
(Firman, no apologies needed. You bless others with your art; as that karma returns to you, it is well-deserved. We thank you for what you share and ask for no more. Do what you must; do what edifies you, as healing comes in art’s expression. Morever, quality trumps quantity-you’ve given us that already.)
September 6th, 2012 at 2:04 am
Ad: Fish seeking mate
to procreate, make children,
and inspire comics.
September 6th, 2012 at 2:07 am
I’ll be over by the castle-bar in my fish tank with my order of rice.
I’m waiting, ladyfish.
September 6th, 2012 at 3:54 am
The ‘raw fish and rice’
Was prepared from the last Moe -
Firman’s own letters.
One more confession:
‘Eat’ was formed from the ‘pee stains’.
Is that TMI?
September 6th, 2012 at 4:36 pm
So, Admiral Firman… Have you ever considered doing a Kickstarter campaign for a Moe game? I’ll program it for you.
September 6th, 2012 at 5:40 pm
>Press space repeatedly to avoid catastrophe.
>Just kidding your efforts just caused a much worse one.
September 6th, 2012 at 7:32 pm
Moe takes max damage.
Insta-survive requires food-
>eat raw fish and rice
September 7th, 2012 at 4:00 am
While fishing for rice,
The rawhide cowboy noted:
Moe’s bed needs turning.
September 7th, 2012 at 7:46 am
Yet moe’re reasons not to purchase used furniture from internet bulletin boards.
September 7th, 2012 at 7:57 pm
I second kickstarter.
No haiku.
Just so tired.
September 8th, 2012 at 2:15 am
If kickstarter starts,
I would donate two dollars.
Maybe more, in fact!
September 8th, 2012 at 2:57 am
You mean that you might
Even give two PLUS dollars
To Moe’s kickstarter?
Broken across lines,
Thoughts flow poorly for haiku.
Reference caught, though.
September 8th, 2012 at 9:16 am
All Bo’s college fund,
saved by Moe: $2+
Thank you scholarships.
September 8th, 2012 at 10:34 am
Bo now teaches here.
PhD little trouble.
Diet? Raw fish & rice.
September 8th, 2012 at 12:33 pm
I cast lines seaward,
passing time, waiting for Moe
while fishing off-shore.
September 8th, 2012 at 7:07 pm
I came here today to bitch about there still not being a new comic.
BUT NEVERMIND
September 8th, 2012 at 7:41 pm
Patience, my dear James,
Is the skill that brings new Moe.
complaints do not help.
September 9th, 2012 at 12:09 am
Comings and goings
of Moeseph resemble tides:
Gorgeous, natural.
September 9th, 2012 at 12:17 am
(As an aside though, I follow various webcomics; I admit to getting slightly sad when artists don’t update according to schedule for whatever reason, except for this comic. Not only is the art and dialogue constantly of high quality, the comment section community we’ve built is so great, I’m ok with waiting as long as it takes for updates to show up.
So, I encourage those irritated to join in with a comment. If you feel like you must voice disappointment, though, at least channel that into something positive, you know? Write a haiku if you’re into that, or whatever, there’s no pressure, just throwing that out there)
September 9th, 2012 at 10:19 pm
sure, if i have to.
though I don’t really want to,
I wrote a haiku
September 10th, 2012 at 12:33 am
Teh Bucket has earned
my eternal, undying
poetic respect.
September 10th, 2012 at 9:48 am
Wake up, drink green tea,
followed by a soft-boiled egg;
Then sit, write haikus.
September 10th, 2012 at 9:59 am
Haiku, or prose, or drunken limerick; post how ye wish it. Complaints, praises, recipies for lunches gone by. Pile these here, and high, to a mighty number. Just know that as the blinding light of the cursed daystar sears our retinas each day, so too shall Moe return to us. Good things come to those who will be patient and wait.
September 10th, 2012 at 4:57 pm
Oh happy day! I don’t have the mad skills like these guys to come up with a rhyme or Haiku so fast, but glad to see you back! And not just because it means more awesome free comics.
September 10th, 2012 at 6:00 pm
Acrid smoke wafting,
From some sick forest fire,
Into my bedroom.
September 10th, 2012 at 6:01 pm
Ash floating about,
Meandering in the wind,
Landing on my sill.
September 10th, 2012 at 6:02 pm
I jump and exclaim,
“Moe! Do you know what this means!?”
He just sinks in bed.
September 10th, 2012 at 6:03 pm
it smells of evil.
What to do about the fire?
Nimz: Battle menu!
September 10th, 2012 at 7:58 pm
> Retreat (no exit)
> Rejoice (NO! Bad pyro Nimz!)
> Relax (in Moe’s bed?)
September 10th, 2012 at 10:38 pm
>Nimz: summon Moe’s bed.
Moe’s bed shrinks past horizon.
raw fish takes damage.
September 11th, 2012 at 4:17 am
Rice unaffected.
Fish slightly cooked by fires.
Lunch salvageable.
September 11th, 2012 at 7:15 am
Behold, a scroll of Rain Dance!
September 11th, 2012 at 7:46 pm
Be-old, some-one rain!
From the havens to the hearths!
(Moe sucks at reading)
September 12th, 2012 at 7:53 am
The scroll hath failed us
Appease fire elementals
Offer your lighters
September 13th, 2012 at 12:15 am
What a horrible,
Horrible thought – Where is Bo?
Could Moe be ON him?
I would not put it past Moe
To pull off that kind of prank.
Not too absurd of a thank
For his fraternal hero:
Miniature brodope, Bo.
September 13th, 2012 at 1:49 pm
Daily update here.
Work is tiring. Complain.
But must keep up chin.
September 13th, 2012 at 5:04 pm
So sleepy today.
A nap’s the thing I need, but—
No sheets on the bed!
“Here are the clean sheets,”
My wife explains, “I’ve washed them.
You can make the bed.”
Quoting my hero,
“No! Beds are for relaxing.
They are not for chores.”
And now I’ve just learned,
A couch is relaxing too.
I’ll sleep there tonight.
September 13th, 2012 at 6:55 pm
Palindr‘moe’ is cool.
He knows what beds are for, too.
… And sometimes couches.
September 14th, 2012 at 12:57 am
Of beds and couches,
Palindr’moe’ got it correct.
Relaxing’s the way.
September 14th, 2012 at 10:46 am
Haiku rules = simple
hard to follow exactly.
an extra syllable?
Seriously, I wish I had something clever or witty to say, or a cool chart to share. But unfortunately I do not. I will take the easy way out and simply say ‘raw fish and rice’.
September 14th, 2012 at 4:47 pm
is = pronounced as an =
or does = not count as
syllable, haiku
September 16th, 2012 at 1:50 am
Brief post hiatus
perhaps precedes post windfall?
One can only hope.
September 16th, 2012 at 2:06 am
I’ll get back to you -
This bed is for relaxing,
Not for new comments.
September 16th, 2012 at 3:05 pm
Haiku: relaxing
As Mark Twain once said to me,
“don’t poem at work”
September 17th, 2012 at 12:21 am
Someone should join soon -
Naturally, be named Ku
For bad Haiku puns.
September 17th, 2012 at 7:27 am
Must buy a new bed
Though I shall flip the mattress
Hard work is my way
September 17th, 2012 at 2:30 pm
Avocado dreams,
With king-sized guacamole!
Real life is the pits.
September 17th, 2012 at 2:52 pm
haiku puns for Ku:
Greetings, Ku! no… HelloKu?
sudo-Ku, maybe?
September 17th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Sudo Ku reminds
Me of that Munroe comic
That goes something like…
Make me a sandwich!
No. Why not? You didn’t ask
For raw fish and rice.
September 17th, 2012 at 8:28 pm
I like my women
how I like my coffee, now,
Make me a sandwhich.
September 18th, 2012 at 2:10 pm
Here, have a Moeku.
It’s just like a real haiku,
but Moe wrote it.
September 18th, 2012 at 11:51 pm
Moe’s haikus? Totally wrong.
Moeku without form.
The Admiral weeps to sleep.
September 19th, 2012 at 10:20 pm
I like my women
How I like raw fish and rice;
Cold, moist and lifeless.
September 20th, 2012 at 3:42 am
I like my women
The way I like my women…
I just like women.
September 20th, 2012 at 7:22 am
I like my women
The way I take my coffee
ground up and scalded
September 20th, 2012 at 7:23 am
Black and bitter just didn’t have that magical fifth syllable, see …
September 20th, 2012 at 12:00 pm
Ways to drink coffee:
There are two alternatives -
There’s raw fish and rice.
How did that get there?
I meant to say black or else
Half coffee, half milk.
September 20th, 2012 at 11:53 pm
That seems an odd slip -
A fairly specific fault.
Tough coffee business.
September 21st, 2012 at 4:36 am
It’s a strange cafe,
But the better question is:
Where did that come from?
September 21st, 2012 at 6:24 am
The cafe over there.
It’s called “Raw Fish & Rice Cafe.”
They also serve tea.
September 21st, 2012 at 7:12 am
In light of the haiku-alanche, I present prose in a differing form. Ponder ye this old koan:
Once the monks of the eastern and western Zen halls in Nansen’s temple were
quarrelling about a cat. As he saw this, Nansen held up the cat and said,
“You monks! If one of you can say a word, I will not slay the cat.”
No one could answer, and thus Nansen cut the cat in two. Nansen told Joshu what had happened, and asked him for his view. Joshu thereupon took his sandals, put
them upon his head and went away.
Thus spake Nansen: “If you had been there, I could have spared the cat.”
September 22nd, 2012 at 4:47 am
I’m not very good at koan’s, but I’ll try one I was told a while back.
A man was looking for a mystery book.
He looked to Moe and said, “where do I find this?”
Moe responded, “when you can drink the river in a single gulp, you will find your section.”
September 22nd, 2012 at 5:10 am
Idgi in twofold.
But I guess koans do that -
I’m stuck on logic.
September 23rd, 2012 at 3:36 am
Someone steal one-hundred.
September 23rd, 2012 at 4:08 am
This is one hundred.
Though in binary it is
Actually four.
September 23rd, 2012 at 9:03 pm
A man ate his house.
When asked about it, he said,
“Breath is full of life.”
^^ My attempt at a haikoan. I… don’t really know if I’m even doing it right? It would appear this is the fifth binary comment, though.
September 24th, 2012 at 10:59 pm
A man wandered into a forest accompanied only by his trusting dog. He was seeking freedom from his poverty-stricken lifestyle by escaping into true independence.
As he survived in the wild he found it intensely difficult to procure food for himself and his canine companion. After several days of almost no nourishment, he had to decide whether or not to eat his poor, trusting friend.
In the end, he decided he would have been better off sticking with raw fish and rice.
September 25th, 2012 at 4:38 am
A haiku has come
To meet a completion need.
Not this haiku, though.
September 25th, 2012 at 9:26 am
I propose the following alternate dialog for this strip, using nothing but the original letters lovingly rearranged:
Moe, that nude ivory booger is crazy.
You’re thriving past the neon ski zone.
You look like the path of a devil avocado.
Just impale the TV fortress!
No! Beds are for Rhinoceros Tan Gel X.
I will not flip the patient!
I will not clean the seamstress!
September 25th, 2012 at 10:38 am
In honour of this strip rearranging, I concur with another dialog, and being much less creative, rearrange it in larger portions.
I will not clean the pee stains!
I will not flip over the mattress!
No!
Beds are for relaxing, not for chores.
Just flip the mattress over,
You look like the pit in a halved avocado.
Moe… that groove in your bed is crazy.
You’re sinking past the event horizon.
September 25th, 2012 at 2:32 pm
That’s even more impressive than a koan.
This is a new game I must try.
Fake haiku not meant to troll.
September 25th, 2012 at 10:04 pm
An extra for today. Must keep the comments on a roll.
September 25th, 2012 at 10:26 pm
A boy grew up listening and loving rock and roll. He ate nothing but the bread that restaurants left on tables.
When he grew older, and his beard was as long as his hair, he began enscribing his wisdom in ketchup upon every piece of restaurant bread he came upon.
Unfortunately, when he started writing these information thoughts on tables, chairs, plates, and waitresses, he was informed that he “Must keep the comments on a roll”
September 26th, 2012 at 5:02 am
The new menu came!
Raw fish and rice replaced by…..
Raw fish, rice, and rolls!
It’s truly a marvel of modern convenience to have comment carriages juxtaposed with sashimi.
September 27th, 2012 at 2:27 pm
There once was a man
who named his one paintbrush ‘Dan’,
but it was a crayon.
September 28th, 2012 at 3:03 am
Your party of two
Chance encounters a mattress.
Moe takes light damage.
(you know, ’cause he’s sinking past the event horizon… light… nevermind.)
September 28th, 2012 at 7:13 am
A mattress draws nigh! You have been surprised! Mattress gains first attack!
Mattress uses ‘Envelop’. Attack success, back line caster ‘Moe’ is trapped!
MENU – PLAYER 1
>ATTACK >DEFEND
>SPELL >ITEM
>SHIRK >WHINGE
>COMPOSE HAIKU
September 28th, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Something tells me that Moe couldn’t get out of that bed even if he tried.
September 29th, 2012 at 1:19 am
Oh no, Moe can’t go!
Will he be forever trapped?
We’ll find out next time!
September 30th, 2012 at 2:33 am
I need to learn GIF
This art is magic come true.
But, yet, in motion.
September 30th, 2012 at 2:41 am
I don’t know the rules -
Does Moe get a saving throw?
Bet he rolls snake eyes.
_ _
|•| |•|
¯ ¯
September 30th, 2012 at 2:42 am
And that is formatting gone awry. Forgot the eating of spaces thing would happen. >_<
September 30th, 2012 at 10:10 pm
Yeah, making art via text is difficult here. Why does it eat spaces? Why does Moe hate spaces?
October 1st, 2012 at 12:56 am
It might be mattress.
It has event horizon.
It eats the spaces?
October 1st, 2012 at 6:12 pm
I’ve been laying low
Who the heck knows why? Not me.
I’m still around, though.
October 2nd, 2012 at 5:07 pm
Carp’s been laying low.
A dange’rous occupation,
As he should well know.
Experience proves:
Laying low’s the foundation
Of bad mattress grooves.
With sincerity,
I plead, “Flee gravitation’s
Singularity!”
October 4th, 2012 at 10:35 am
Eleven, when squared,
Was the post count for a day.
Too much relaxing?
Rectification!
Inspiration for new posts!
This is what we need.
There’s something in mind
I have for the next fan art…
Moe turned on its side.
We’ll see if mangas
Can capture the Moe essence
If I don’t give up.
October 4th, 2012 at 1:12 pm
I got the next Moe all roughed out, it’s eight panels and features lots of old favourite characters. But I don’t know if I’ll get it done in time before I head away for the THNAKSGIVIG WEEKNED. So either really soon or pretty soon!
October 4th, 2012 at 1:18 pm
I want to go on a Thnaksgivig weekned….
October 5th, 2012 at 1:34 am
Thnaksgivig;
My favorite holiday.
Such a merry time.
October 5th, 2012 at 3:36 am
Weekneds should be full
Of jyo, hop, and thnaksgivig;
Constantly thankful.
We must celebrate
This festively themed event
With raw fish and rice.
October 5th, 2012 at 1:59 pm
thank Canadians.
Now we get two thanksgivings.
Hurray! more turkey!
October 5th, 2012 at 4:17 pm
Hooray! Great news! I hope the new strip will have toothabootha and cement bag head…
October 6th, 2012 at 4:52 am
Surely Officers Mallay and Dumpty will feature prominently in the next strip. Perhaps with a slightly smaller deadness attribute. . .
Officer Mallay
Along with partner, Dumpty,
Fit ‘old favourites’.
October 6th, 2012 at 7:21 am
Glad to hear from you, admiral. Was beginning to worry this was becoming a moenthly webcomic.
October 6th, 2012 at 2:03 pm
But all 8 panels
are nothing but them eating
thanksgiving dinner.
October 6th, 2012 at 6:10 pm
For some reason, I’m envisioning The Last Supper with Moe in the middle surrounded by Bo, Grandpa, Elliot, Heckling Clown, the sitting ducks, etc.
October 7th, 2012 at 12:39 am
In Firman’s honour,
here, the aforementioned scene.
no blasphemy meant.
http://i.imgur.com/B4D89.jpg
October 7th, 2012 at 1:13 am
VIEWED.
LIKED.
SAVED.
October 8th, 2012 at 3:32 am
Moe waits as we all
Do. Watching the Admiral seas.
Sail home, Captain Bo.
October 8th, 2012 at 5:45 am
Wow, this is like a magical wish machine! I envision something and it comes to life! OK, um, OK…. I envision myself with . . . ONE MILLION DOLLARS! *looks around* Dang, that didn’t work.
Teh_Bucket, awesome work! I love how Grandpa is aloofly ignoring the whole scene by playing cards with someone off-scene… classic.
October 8th, 2012 at 10:00 am
cut/pastes Firman’s work.
now doramjam’s wish is mine:
my million bucks.
October 9th, 2012 at 8:34 am
Lovely work, if slightly blasphemous. Perhaps the Almighty will smile upon it, for He has created the platypus and in so doing has demonstrated His divine sense of humor.
October 10th, 2012 at 10:37 pm
will not flip mattress.
will not clean out the pee stains.
will not do blaspheme.
October 11th, 2012 at 2:07 am
To do list today:
Cook rice and feed to the fish.
Check. Flip bed. Uncheck.
October 11th, 2012 at 10:01 am
found coins in the couch.
What fortunes lie in mattress?
too bad, won’t find out.
October 12th, 2012 at 2:19 am
Moe won’t move. Yet. Still.
It is our only bed, Moe.
I am so very tired.
October 12th, 2012 at 12:35 pm
Still a WIP, but this is the germ of the idea I had. Still haven’t figured out what Moe responds with, but probably something along the lines of being put out for toture. Eliot is so insensitive to Moe’s needs.
Here it is.
October 12th, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Though it isn’t there,
I am seeing Moe slide down.
I guess he can’t fall.
October 12th, 2012 at 3:08 pm
Glorious work, nimz.
The second panel is great.
Original, too.
October 13th, 2012 at 5:46 am
I know Moe’s response!
He’s distressed at not looking
Like raw fish and rice!
October 15th, 2012 at 2:01 am
Bought my own tablet –
Perhaps soon I will make art
and be like Firman.
(kind of)
October 16th, 2012 at 3:09 am
Carp, I look forward
Your art in the distance there
Behind Lord Firman
October 16th, 2012 at 6:39 pm
Is it really soon or pretty soon yet?
October 16th, 2012 at 7:42 pm
I’ve actually decided to try to come up with something different as the next strip – the one I had going with the old characters wound up being insensitive because of something that has come up in the news. I’ll still use it, but later.
I actually care less about the idea that it’d be insensitive and more about the idea that people would think I’m trying to comment on current events!
October 17th, 2012 at 2:08 am
One hundred and fifty one
gotta moe them all!
October 17th, 2012 at 2:20 am
There’s a thing called news?
You mean media are used
For things not quite Moe?
I don’t pay any attention to the news or current events, so I wouldn’t know if you were commenting on them or not unless it was blatantly pointed out. But I can see where you’re coming from. At least you’ve got a guaranteed ringer already in place for some time in the yet to come.
October 17th, 2012 at 2:26 am
I am eager for
Moe’s insensitiviy.
Does that make me bad?
October 18th, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Awws, shoot. All I’ll be able to think about is which eventual comic Firman is talking about, and with which news event it would be considered insensitive.
Let me practice… The current strip about the bed and the event horizon is insensitive to English Mastiff owners.. see this CNN video.
October 18th, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Firman is the best
When it comes to politics.
Moe for president!
October 18th, 2012 at 2:05 pm
Politics do not
matter in our daily Moe.
Bo for president!
October 18th, 2012 at 10:31 pm
Comic shelved, dormant.
Moments begging satire shall
call it forth again.
October 20th, 2012 at 2:27 am
Sparcity beckons;
Haikus minimal through time
Nestled amongst days.
October 20th, 2012 at 2:28 am
(still got it)
October 21st, 2012 at 6:37 am
We patiently wait
Firman will not disappoint
In his own good time
October 21st, 2012 at 10:37 am
To flex a muscle
is to avoid atrophy;
Working out word skill.
October 21st, 2012 at 3:59 pm
I will attempt to make 2 haikus, one with the fewest words possible, and one with the fewest letters possible.
Animosity
Disintermediation
Coagulation
(three word haiku)
Lo, Moe is no go
Bo, no Moe, also no go
Go Moe! And go Bo!
(36 letter haiku if I counted right)
Can anyone beat that?
October 21st, 2012 at 7:26 pm
(I have to admit, I can’t stop loving the haiku throw-downs. How has this not infected the rest of the internet?)
October 22nd, 2012 at 1:53 am
Haiku mystery:
Uninfected internet -
How did that happen?
October 22nd, 2012 at 2:00 am
A so-so hobo; (9)
To go so so-so, why so? (15)
Hobo! Obey law. (11)
For a total of 35. Perhaps a point deduction for not being Moe-centric, but hey, I did what I could.
October 22nd, 2012 at 2:05 am
Minimal letters
to stretch imaginations
beyond shapes pallid.
October 22nd, 2012 at 12:31 pm
Dearest W, (8)
My idea is as a (11)
Boa on fire. (9)
28. The use of a single letter for three syllables is a bit cheap, though. In the spirit of rectification, here is an alternate first line with same letter count:
“I am a hobo.”
October 22nd, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Some other good words for letter reducitation and syllable maxification:
Io (2/2), area (3/4), cameo (3/5), alien (3/5). Apparently Iouea (4/5) is a genus of Cretaceous fossil sponges.
October 22nd, 2012 at 12:59 pm
Let’s put some of those to immediate use, shall we?
Io area
Iouea cameo -
My Moe idea.
6+10+9 = 25
Maybe Jetpack Hunk gets them there.
October 23rd, 2012 at 7:11 am
I shall not haiku
for prose is my chosen means
to project my thoughts …
ah crap
October 23rd, 2012 at 10:42 am
Little does Fren know,
haikus are omnipresent,
there is no escape.
October 23rd, 2012 at 2:00 pm
(cue evil laugh)
October 23rd, 2012 at 2:02 pm
Also, props to Nimz;
May your penchant for verbal
contortions shine on.
October 23rd, 2012 at 2:03 pm
(cont’Moe’rtions, that is)
October 25th, 2012 at 1:38 am
Stone-silent day spent
Away from our screens, elsewhere;
To where shall we stay?
October 25th, 2012 at 7:17 am
Our vigil, maintained
Eyes scan seaward, foggy views
Our Admiral, lost
October 26th, 2012 at 9:35 am
We’re almost up to
a quarter of the comments
from the last comic
(176 / 723 = 0.2434)
October 26th, 2012 at 12:24 pm
I made a haiku,
And left it here in my mind.
Now I can’t find it.
Maybe it will show
Where I least expect it to.
Should make a mind map.
October 26th, 2012 at 11:49 pm
A mind map? What of?
Would it show your dreams? Or fears?
Beware where you look.
October 28th, 2012 at 12:34 pm
Next strip split in half,
launched into future and past.
Let’s try and find it!
I think we need math.
who knows a ‘Moe’fficient?
I must have forgot.
Chemistry may help.
6×10^23
represents one ‘Moe’le.
October 28th, 2012 at 1:20 pm
I believe your ‘Moe’le
Will be found short by over
Two hexillion.
In terms of percent,
That’s under point three seven,
So I’ll let it slide.
October 28th, 2012 at 1:48 pm
counting syllables,
six-times-ten-to-the-two-three
I think that should “count”.
October 28th, 2012 at 8:35 pm
WWMD? What would Moe do to prepare for a hurricane?
October 28th, 2012 at 9:40 pm
Moe ties himself down
to a large, heavy object.
In this case, himself.
October 28th, 2012 at 9:51 pm
earthworm winnow ginned
Traceback (most recent call last):
File “MakeHaiku.py”, line 27, in
print(getLine(7))
File “MakeHaiku.py”, line 8, in getLine
idx = random.randint(0,len(words[toGet])-1)
IndexError: list index out of range
October 28th, 2012 at 9:52 pm
isostatic width
unestablishable mag
unscheming redfish
October 29th, 2012 at 3:46 am
Six zero two starts
Avogadro’s phone number.
Then, one oh two three.
HG 4000…
I will wait for 9000:
Too many bugs now.
October 29th, 2012 at 2:28 pm
isostatic, though,
is a strong, profound statement.
redfish: a tribute.
October 29th, 2012 at 9:58 pm
embracing my roots,
Bagpipe music full volume.
Annoys the roomate.
October 31st, 2012 at 2:13 am
Equilibrium.
Complete temporal balance.
Entropy has won.
The mind in chaos
Steadily drifts to order.
Take that, thermo-D.!
A curt refusal,
Negligence of social norms…
We’ll call it a draw.
October 31st, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Thermos! : D
entropy for sad friend.
terms misunderstood.
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:50 am
Going away soon,
A brief overseas sojourn;
Go on without me.
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:51 am
Perhaps I’ll swim free
In waters more tropical;
Rejuvenation
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:51 am
(there was meant to be a period at the end of that last word there, DANGNABBIT)
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:54 am
Dropped puncuation;
How can this fish be redeemed?
Work towards Moe praise.
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:57 am
The archives run deep,
undercurrents of comments;
sleepy river flows –
Although the site slows,
activity continues:
Onwards and upwards!
Inspiration born
from readings of the author’s
high hilarity.
November 2nd, 2012 at 2:00 am
So I rhapsodize
and harp (poetically?) on;
brief repose revives.
November 2nd, 2012 at 3:02 am
Man am I hungry.
Perhaps airborne I’ll find some
raw fish and rice meals.
November 3rd, 2012 at 3:13 am
Everyone so kind.
Won’t steal the coveted 2-0
0. I ran out of….
November 3rd, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Hello, 200!
in honour of your roundness,
Moe in Hurricane.
http://i.imgur.com/pBru9.gif
November 4th, 2012 at 3:15 am
What a lovely pic
Of a 3D Moe for the
Bicental comment.
Collision detect!
Moe and bed overlapping!
A cyclone of sleep?
November 5th, 2012 at 12:47 am
A bit late, but here’s a haiku on the topic of changing of clocks.
Daylight Saving Time -
Change the clocks twice every year:
Spring forward, Fall back.
November 5th, 2012 at 3:05 am
Moe has no regard
For the changing of the clocks:
All times are bedtime.
November 5th, 2012 at 3:01 pm
Computer errors-
daylight savings came early.
Oh, look at the time!
November 5th, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Firman, as a Canadian, I just wanted to say I appreciate your admiration for our beloved Prime Minister. Thanks for keepin it fresh.
November 6th, 2012 at 9:51 am
Nov 6th has come, yo.
Time to get voting, Americans.
Canadians welcome.
November 6th, 2012 at 9:52 am
(You don’t get to vote though)
November 6th, 2012 at 6:00 pm
It is a bit late,
If you’re voting out of state.
oh yeah, Halo four.
November 7th, 2012 at 6:52 am
Four more beers?
November 7th, 2012 at 8:31 am
Nimz, do you not love the Chief-Master?
November 7th, 2012 at 3:30 pm
I heard the outcome
of yesterday’s election
on The Daily Show.
Halo is Halo.
Hasn’t changed much since game 1.
But it sure looks nice.
November 7th, 2012 at 3:36 pm
I… am not sure if you’re referring to politics or Halo. Yeah, I’m that sheltered in my ivory tower of mathematics.
If it’s politics, I didn’t even look at the US election results until just a moment ago. I was just making a pun on the common chant for those that support incumbents. Whether the beers are celebratory or inebriatory in purpose is irrelevant to the pun I was making.
If it’s Halo, I’ve never played any of the series, so if there is a character called Chief-Master there, I have no opinion due to lack of any relevant knowledge.
And so I don’t stray too far out of form, I shall append this relevant haiku.
Ivory towers
Insulate academics
From reality.
November 7th, 2012 at 9:34 pm
If there ever was a haiku with a relevant introduction, I just read it.
November 9th, 2012 at 2:17 am
Anyone tried Halo yet?
Not a Haiku.
Just a Moe’ku, in three parts.
November 9th, 2012 at 3:19 pm
Roommate got the 4.
Haven’t played it myself, though,
cuz of the bagpipes.
November 11th, 2012 at 3:21 am
i have finally returned after almost a year of not having a functioning computer. and i find moe has had a metaphorical orgy of updating. this is most good. although this latest one dates back a bit i am still in a righteous mood about the whole thing. also good to see haiku still doing his haiku thing along with mr carp. i haven’t been here since the late great superduck and gregory power combo of 2010 and 11. those boys were something special. anyway here i am getting all old and sentimental an’ such, forgive this old fool for caring too much :’)
November 11th, 2012 at 12:44 pm
Back from vacation
In time to hail the return
Of Omi! Whaddup!
November 11th, 2012 at 12:47 pm
The Moe’kus, constant.
Infinite fractal spirals
of poems abound.
November 12th, 2012 at 6:39 am
nothing much my boy,
just chillin, killin, and such
boring haiku go!!
November 13th, 2012 at 12:30 am
Like the pit in a halved avocado… such a perfect description.
November 14th, 2012 at 8:26 am
Pee stains still extant
Mattress flipping, not a thing
Static Moe, breathless.
November 14th, 2012 at 8:27 am
And welcome back, Omi! Nice to see an old face about.
November 14th, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Fren, does that mean Moe has finally found the love interest that takes his breath away? Who knew it would be as simple as a finding the right matress!
November 15th, 2012 at 9:24 am
Nimz, as always, the key to love and mattresses is simply size. Though many and more go for the queen sized bed, trust in me on this: a full is big enough to share, yet small enough that sharing is fun.
But, as goes, Moe shall never find love so long as he’s displaying urine stains upon his mattress.
November 17th, 2012 at 4:02 pm
I can sympathise -
Moe doesn’t have the stomach
To face the new day.
Except, the day isn’t all that new anymore.
November 18th, 2012 at 3:28 am
Waking up, tricky –
Especially when the bed
holds with iron hands.
November 18th, 2012 at 3:30 am
Boredom in excess
prevents movement and hygiene;
Dang! I can relate.
November 18th, 2012 at 3:32 am
Late nights, faint odours,
Sleeping white mass, lack of vim;
Thus lies our hero.
November 18th, 2012 at 3:33 am
Now too will I sleep
My bed inviting, cozy;
The deep pit beckons.
November 18th, 2012 at 3:34 am
(perhaps that first line could have used a punctuation mark at its end, whatever, this is poetry, not an op-ed for the NYT)
November 18th, 2012 at 3:35 am
(anyways, good night y’all)
November 18th, 2012 at 3:38 am
Wonder what Moe plays
before decamping to bed;
I favour Eno.
November 20th, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Haikus gather dust
in a pile slowly swelling;
Where have you all gone?
November 20th, 2012 at 8:25 pm
Important exams:
Studying subverts from Five,
Seven, Five writing.
November 20th, 2012 at 8:45 pm
Topology soon.
If I fail topology,
I’ll need a new job.
So yeah, just a little bit o’ stress going into December. Kinda wish I could get by with the habits Moe displays in this comic.
November 21st, 2012 at 1:45 am
Exams are for wimps.
I don’t need to study yet!
Delusion is great.
November 21st, 2012 at 4:04 am
stress fades to nothing after a week of living on nothing but coco pops, scotch, and beef jerky. i am suffering from malnutrition and awesomeness
November 21st, 2012 at 12:37 pm
Omi, perhaps awesomeness is suffering from you?
November 23rd, 2012 at 9:21 am
Omi causes no adjective to suffer. i resent all implications, good, bad or otherwise. i think i need vegetables and some water. help
November 23rd, 2012 at 11:41 am
Omi, I am obliged to point out that “awesomeness” is not an adjective, but a noun. I hope you weren’t studying for an English test!
November 23rd, 2012 at 11:44 am
Does anyone want to start a Kickstarter project to get Firman to post the next comic?
November 23rd, 2012 at 4:01 pm
Awesomeness, the noun,
Suffered from overdosing
On its own awesome.
The kickstarter plan
Has one fatal flaw to it:
It lacks a ‘Moe’ pun.
November 23rd, 2012 at 8:48 pm
ah so it is, my mistake. i find patience and other peoples haikus to be the best way to get sir firman posting comics again. but out of curiosity how would the moe-pun-less kickstarter project work
November 26th, 2012 at 4:22 am
Thank you, Brothers, for keeping the faith.
November 28th, 2012 at 6:08 pm
A Moe kickstarter
Would basically be a bribe
for the Admiral
November 28th, 2012 at 9:09 pm
The Admiral is
a man incapable of
most basic bribery
November 28th, 2012 at 9:10 pm
(Trust me, I’ve tried)
November 29th, 2012 at 3:02 pm
(Oh, my god, how I’ve tried)
November 29th, 2012 at 4:06 pm
What’s going on?
November 30th, 2012 at 3:49 am
(I’ve try all the time)
November 30th, 2012 at 3:49 am
(In this institution…)
November 30th, 2012 at 2:01 pm
I see. (And I pray)
We’re doing “What’s Up” now. (Oh
My god, do I pray…)
December 2nd, 2012 at 10:15 am
Bedflip petition:
(I pray every single day
For revolution)
December 2nd, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Thank you everyone for staying tuned! And Doramjan for his bribery support ( I still owe him something fantastic )
I’m not going to say any excuses! I’m just going to get back into a Moe routine, but not as frequent as the beginning of 2012. We’ll see how I manage!
Let’s arrange a firm date, even though mid-December to the new year will spell trouble for a schedule. New Moe strip by December 4th, or else everyone has to post mean haikus about me.
December 2nd, 2012 at 11:13 pm
A new Firman post!
Only three months between Moes.
A deadline is set.
December 3rd, 2012 at 4:07 am
(So all we had to was start singing? I would have started singing a long time ago!)
December 3rd, 2012 at 2:13 pm
“Hold the phone!” “What’s wrong?”
“It won’t send or receive calls!”
We have … a dead line. 8)
I’ll be back at morrow, hopefully a bit wittier.
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:44 pm
December 4th is
Almost a line of haiku;
and a line of dead.
December 3rd, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Manna from on high!
News of new comic trickles
out. Or does it ooze?
December 3rd, 2012 at 6:12 pm
Let’s take this moment
to update the Moe Wiki.
Poo poop oop poo-oops.
http://moecomic.wikia.com
December 4th, 2012 at 12:07 am
A new day begins.
I find myself unable
To hate on Firman.
Do I lack mean genes?
If writing not-mean things counts,
The answer is No.
December 4th, 2012 at 1:25 am
Nimz, fear not, Sir.
The Admiral has time yet.
December 4th, full.
December 4th, 2012 at 2:57 am
Yeah unfortunately it looks like it’s going to take the 4th to make it, since the 3rd has unexpectedly been a bust. I’m so rusty, I just hope I don’t end up with something entirely lacklustre. 2AM – I need to go sleep!
December 4th, 2012 at 5:54 am
Iron oxide foe:
Adversary Moe will face?
Ruddy and willing.
December 4th, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Man, I’m starting to feel incapable of making things :C
When is this lull going to end?
This remains my best idea so far, but still seems kind of dark for the official archives, I don’t know: http://www.firmanproductions.com/latrine/abandmoened.gif
December 4th, 2012 at 4:59 pm
With Firman’s sketch,
The lull is terminated
Without prejudice.
Seriously, Admiral Firman, whether or not you decide to do anything
more with that sketch or include it in the archives, I am so glad you
shared it. I really can’t recall having ever laughed so much at any
other comic you’ve written. This one is truly brilliant and one of your
best in my opinion.
If this reflects the state of nearly-rejected ideas, please keep sharing!
December 4th, 2012 at 5:07 pm
Unchanging comic
Rewards repeated viewings
With laughter anew.
I can’t help it. The final punchline panel should have lost its punch for me
by now, since, having read it over and over, I know the ending. But I still
laugh out loud every time I look at it. Comedy genius.
December 4th, 2012 at 9:37 pm
Status: Engaging
Hostile Judgment mode. Not found:
Mode set to Tasty.
I am the candy gun. It is me. xD
December 5th, 2012 at 2:59 am
No comic arrives,
Yet I find myself sated;
best back catalogue.
December 5th, 2012 at 3:01 am
Short advice: don’t push!
Practice, get into a groove,
Post when satisfied.
December 5th, 2012 at 9:15 am
“Get into a groove”?
Of the Event-Horizon-
Swallowing-Bed type?
December 5th, 2012 at 10:39 am
Oh Admiral, you need not worry yourself. No matter what form Moe takes, we have always enjoyed it. To quote you from earlier this year:
Firman
March 7th, 2012 at 9:05 am
What if I just end up having a terrible month this year? Like all of June, the punchlines are about how much Moe hates Mondays & how much he wants some coffee. Can you forgive me? Will you forgive me?!
Please don’t leave me.
I can’t face Mondays alone.
Face your fears, Admiral! You aren’t alone. We’re all in this together.
December 5th, 2012 at 10:48 am
Alright, yes, I shall grant you, the remainder of us merely consume the content you provide. However, I think it of note that we’re all very sweet, kind, supportive and decent folk that never, ever chide you about anything. So, really, just throw down how you’d like. Schedule or no!
December 5th, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Some orange residue
Delays Moe leaving his bed.
Rust? or Moe’s pee stains?
December 5th, 2012 at 2:57 pm
ewwww, orange pee? eeeewwww
Not touching *THAT* bed again.
Liver condition?
December 5th, 2012 at 9:44 pm
The pee need not be
As deep a colour, you see,
As the stains, indeed.
Also, orange urine would not be as bad as reddish brown urine. o_o
December 5th, 2012 at 10:35 pm
Pee of some colors?
Find a doctor, here or sea.
Wait. Better not here.
December 6th, 2012 at 1:42 am
Proud of his rainbow,
urine-stained in his bedsheets,
Moe refuses chores.
I don’t even want to know how he gets the blue or violet. (O-O)
December 6th, 2012 at 2:20 pm
Food coloring, yes?
Or maybe he eats lead paint?
So many choices.
December 6th, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Food colouring would be more natural, but I am not sold on its efficacy, unless applied rather late in the *ahem* process. Also,
The lead paint option
Sounds much more in character
Than use of food dyes.
December 8th, 2012 at 8:41 pm
One wonders whether Mister Moe
has ever considered becoming
a practitioner of Zen philosophy.
Back-of-the-envelope calculations suggest
this would be instant comedy gold.
December 9th, 2012 at 3:26 am
I think Moe, like most things in his life, would get it wrong.
December 9th, 2012 at 3:26 am
But suddenly, I realize, -can- someone get zen wrong? Or is that the true zen?
December 9th, 2012 at 10:10 am
One could also say
Moe achieved his zazen state
When he went 3D.
He even had some koans preceding his 3D fan art. It all makes so much sense! At least, to this mind that is still bound up in rational thought…
December 9th, 2012 at 11:10 am
A Moe comic on the cutting room floor
Leaves fans patiently waiting for more.
For though Firman’s rusty,
In time we trust he
Will find his groove for Moe comics galore.
December 10th, 2012 at 4:10 am
I really want to see more of the 3D art. Angry Moe was hilarious.
December 11th, 2012 at 1:21 pm
New Moe! Moe Anew!
Sure, it’s “just” a sketch, but hey,
it still made me laugh!
December 11th, 2012 at 2:07 pm
More 3D then? well,
Just like Moe, I have finals.
It frustrates us both.
http://i.imgur.com/grKt8.gif
December 14th, 2012 at 12:10 pm
We crossed the threshold.
One Hundred days since new Moe.
Can’t wait hundred more…
December 17th, 2012 at 3:05 am
Can always wait one hundred hundred less.
December 17th, 2012 at 3:26 pm
Comments in a lull
Conversation spurs new Moe.
Ummmm, raw fish and rice?
http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/1531/moecomments.png
December 17th, 2012 at 4:14 pm
And here’s a word cloud
Showing all the comment text
Since September 4th
http://img338.imageshack.us/img338/5914/moewordcloud.png
December 17th, 2012 at 4:38 pm
MOE in hex equals 4D4F45
4D4F45 as a color equals http://www.colorhexa.com/4d4f45.png
And that color would actually fit surprisingly well in the current web page color scheme!
December 18th, 2012 at 5:27 am
Doramjan, the graphs and charts are beautiful, as always. The comment count tracker graph looks rather like a sideways parabola, or a square root function. Perhaps a regression curve could be drawn to extrapolate.
How did I get so big in the word cloud? I guess I could reread some of the comments from the start…
… okay, I’m back. And I found out the real reason Moe hasn’t updated yet, and why the good Admiral Firman is having artist’s block. There hasn’t been another child born since the week of Moe #450. Experts are baffled at the global population actually declining over the past three months.
I suspect any three letters when converted to hex, and the hex code converted to colour would tend to be dark greyish. This does not negate the fact that <color=MOE> would fit nicely with the current web page colour scheme.
Doramjan breathes life
Into the stagnant comments
With cool graphs and charts.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:36 am
That’s a big Moe.
December 18th, 2012 at 12:36 pm
Nimz, you’re absolutely right that pretty much all the ASCII values for words would make about the same shades of dark gray, but not all names translate to the exact length hex value for a color
Moe is only 3 letters so it works great!
But there are differences! For example, NIM->hex->color looks like this:
http://www.colorhexa.com/4e494d.png
which is grayer than the greenish color of Moe->hex->color:
http://www.colorhexa.com/4d4f45.png
December 18th, 2012 at 4:41 pm
And the color of Moe is dark grey, like his heart.
December 19th, 2012 at 5:58 am
I feel like there were more posts inbetween these. Did I miss something? Were they somehow deleted?
December 20th, 2012 at 5:41 am
I don’t recall seeing any posts that got eaten up. Maybe it was a dream? Speaking of dreams, a haiku happened in an IRC channel I visit that could be tangentially relevant here, too, so I’ll say it again:
Life is but a dream.
For some it is lucid dreams.
Others have nightmares.
December 20th, 2012 at 6:29 am
who would make a better Santa Clause: Grandpa, Jetpack Hunk, or Eliot? discuss.
December 20th, 2012 at 8:47 am
d’oh.. no E in Claus
December 21st, 2012 at 4:45 am
Grandpa would make the best Santa Clause.
Jetpack Hunk would be best Santa Clause.
But what would poor Moe be? He’s no grinch, but nor is he a reindeer. He needs a role.
December 21st, 2012 at 4:53 am
Moe would fill the role of the lump of coal in the stocking?
…
Ummmn, is it too late to get on Santa’s bad list if that’s the case?
December 21st, 2012 at 9:08 am
Stand your ground, lads. Scan the foggy shores, for the times nears. Saint Admiral Firman shall come and launch new comics down the exhaust ports of our dwellings. He shall! HE IS REAL DAMN IT.
December 21st, 2012 at 12:53 pm
Yes, DORAMJAN, there is an Admiral Firman. He exists as certainly as wordplay and multi-layered artwork and sarcasm exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Admiral Firman. It would be as dreary as if there were no INTERNETS. There would be no childlike exclamations of POO! then, no haikus, no comments to make tolerable the inevitable waiting between comics. We should have no enjoyment in either point or click. The eternal light with which Moe fills the world would be extinguished.
December 23rd, 2012 at 2:33 am
Speak not of such things, Palindr’moe.’ Let us never give up hope. The apocalypse has come and gone but the seas are still waving. So does the Admiral still sail and we must wait until the winds of change bring him back to us.
December 23rd, 2012 at 3:14 pm
This end of the world is so dull.
December 24th, 2012 at 8:29 am
A joyous Crimbo’s Eve to you all. Keep the light burning and your eyes turned seaward!
December 24th, 2012 at 10:00 pm
no Christmas for MOE this year, must have been a bad MOE
December 24th, 2012 at 10:18 pm
Merry season’s days, folks!
Which I don’t say to be secular, but because I like phrasing things in silly new ways. I am out on the family gathering tour with only my laptop, but I am hoping I can still make a strip if I could just end this damn creative block!
December 25th, 2012 at 12:19 am
We had it all wrong! The Admiral is not lost at sea but, in fact, beached! We must bombard him with the rain of new ideas – leave nothing out – so a tide of bad humor and good fortune may wash him back to our tiny island!
December 25th, 2012 at 10:50 am
Bo, Bo, Bo! Moe’rry Christmas!
December 25th, 2012 at 11:04 am
Moe’rry Christmas!
December 25th, 2012 at 10:25 pm
poo Christmas oop poo!
Merry season’s days oop oop!
opo Glad tidings!
December 26th, 2012 at 7:22 pm
I can’t believe it.
I forgot ‘raw fish and rice’
Until Boxing Day.
My haiku last night could have been that much more epic. * sigh *
December 26th, 2012 at 11:47 pm
Nimz, I think your futile and inept struggle for epicness is PERFECTLY suited for Moe
I consider an artfully crafted tribute to all that is Moe.
December 26th, 2012 at 11:51 pm
(I of course use “futile and inept struggle” in its kindest and most complimentary meaning)
December 27th, 2012 at 3:29 pm
This is the Christmas season, so we’re all more than a little tired. Who else got snow? Snow in droves? Snow whiter than Moe?
December 29th, 2012 at 3:26 pm
What did Moe ever do for work? As in, how does Moe earn money? Thoughts?
December 29th, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Moe worked at Best Pie,
But then he stopped working there.
Then he went to jail.
Upon his release,
Moe just lazes in his bed
With raw fish and rice.
January 1st, 2013 at 6:53 am
Have a blessed New Year, every’Moe’dy!
Twenty-thirteen starts.
Raw fish and rice in our mouths,*
Hope reigns eternal.
*as in saying ‘raw fish and rice’ frequently. Actually eating rf&r is also permissable.
January 2nd, 2013 at 1:10 am
Hey guys! Randomly joining!
Happy New Year, all!
Firman: you underestimate just how much I’m loving these German jokes. I’ve been teaching myself the language for about six months now! Sie ist meine Lieblings-Sprache!
Seriously, though, let’s have conversations in German. Please?
January 2nd, 2013 at 1:13 am
It’s Caladhiel again, but this is my Russian prostitute name.
So guys help me out here: should I be Caladhiel, Elf-Queen of Green/Mirkwood, or should I be Svetlana, Russian prostitute/Ivan Drago’s girlfriend?
January 2nd, 2013 at 6:54 am
тебя лучше назвать Светланой
January 2nd, 2013 at 8:46 am
Doramjan … are you trying to tell me that I scored a Tetris?
January 2nd, 2013 at 11:26 am
be caladlana the elf prostitute of Mirkingrad. in other news, i hope everyone had a joyous season of celebration, and i wish lord firman all the best in crush the ruinous forces of creative block.
January 3rd, 2013 at 6:01 am
So… Admiral Firman needs to score a creative Tetris?
January 3rd, 2013 at 7:46 am
Fren, in soviet russia, TETЯIS scores you!!
January 3rd, 2013 at 9:19 am
Yes, I think this shall work as an allegory. The tetrads are the mental detritus of our dear Admiral’s block. We must work to clear them away, line by line, so that the spice may flow once again.
Derp, just mixed metaphors. In an allegory. Not gonna be the best year, is it?
January 3rd, 2013 at 2:49 pm
Or it’s going to be an amazing year! Who says we can’t mix metaphors. Where else can a five year old who only says “poo” become an astronaut and meet Jet Hunk, a rocket powered explorer of space? And this is not including the Moe family, the tooth brush psychopath-girlfriend, and – well – Moe himself.
January 4th, 2013 at 8:32 am
Truly, this is madness. Dogs and cats living together. Haiku wrote in prose! Oh no!
January 5th, 2013 at 12:46 am
Shame, it injures me.
Fren, a friend to all, Fren is.
Repair! Lost honor…
January 6th, 2013 at 2:18 pm
Spasibo, Doramjan ^^ All I could figure out was “you” and “Svetlana”, I really don’t know a lot. I do have the alphabet memorized though
Omi, good idea.
Firman, gutes Glueck mit die naechtse Comic! Ich kann nicht warten! Ich liebe dich und deine Fangemeide, dass ich bin ein Teil von sie
Es tut mir Leid wenn dies ist schlecht, ich habe grammatik Probleme auf Deutsch ^^;
January 6th, 2013 at 2:19 pm
Whoops just noticed error in my name. I’m the queen of double-posting, apparently -_-
January 7th, 2013 at 8:42 am
Since our dear Admiral has a block that no amount of rum may flush, I submit that we begin posting ideas for a new story arc. Perhaps one of our thoughts may serve to eliminate the log which jams his creative river. Firman needs a writing team! Perhaps we may yet serve.
January 7th, 2013 at 2:07 pm
New Fir`Moe’n comic:
Moe saves an author insert
<strikethrough>With raw fish and rice</strikethrough>
<strikethrough>From Firman Subfusc</strikethrough>
From raw fish and rice.
January 8th, 2013 at 10:50 am
we should do a tandem story write-up like those things where each person adds a line and it goes to all sorts of wacky and zany places or as is more common, butts and the like.
ill kick us off as i have very little else to do at 1:50 in the morning.
moe stared off into the sunset, his bald head glinting majestically in the sun…
January 8th, 2013 at 10:57 am
also if i don’t return to add to or finish this story then my house has been engulfed by the fires that are turning my country into the fire nation. it has been a pleasure to serve aboard this comicship under the command of the great firman. a poignant moment of reverence for the brave posters we have lost over time: Kanye, Gregory, superduck, superduck’s ghost, carp, and countless others who i have shame fully forgotten. and a heartfelt salute to those whom continue this proud tradition, you do all those who came before you proud. Omi signing off to start packing for evacuation out of the danger zone. later homeboys.
January 8th, 2013 at 3:10 pm
…and said to himself “ow god my eyes hurt”…
January 8th, 2013 at 10:12 pm
….one of Moe’s roommates said, “Moe! You’ve got to get out of here! That’s Australia going up in flames – not the sun!”…
January 8th, 2013 at 10:13 pm
(Be safe, Omi. Be safe and return)
January 9th, 2013 at 5:21 am
… Just after Moe’s roommate had spoken a mighty koala, imbued with the power of flames, rose over the horizon …
Best of luck Omi. I don’t think I’ll have to evacuate, unless it’s 2003 all over again.
January 9th, 2013 at 6:50 am
… Or so they thought, until it became obvious it was really a drop bear…
Stay safe from those fires.
And of course those drop bears, too.
And other critters.
January 9th, 2013 at 10:05 pm
…the drop bear gets the drop on Moe, who is engulfed in flame and fur…
January 10th, 2013 at 3:19 pm
…hilarity ensues while everyone tries to beat the burning drop bear out without regard for Moe…
January 11th, 2013 at 1:16 pm
…moe ends up resembling the drop as a result of the beating which leads to extra hilarity as everyone starts beating the burning drop bear and drop moe out…
also i am back, the fire was a great big let down for me as the only property damage i suffered was shattering my laptop screen to hell in my haste to pack.
January 12th, 2013 at 2:25 am
Crushing disappointment belongs here with Moe.
January 14th, 2013 at 3:55 pm
New comic!
Moe is walking in the park when he bends over to pick up a flower…
January 15th, 2013 at 7:19 am
My punchline: He eats the flower. Someone asks him why he did that, he says “To check for poisorrrghhlglglhglllgghghgl”
January 15th, 2013 at 3:25 pm
Heh heh heh!
January 15th, 2013 at 3:26 pm
*foam foam foam*
January 18th, 2013 at 4:14 am
New comic.
Moe is sitting down, listening to music on his new BOSE headphones.
January 18th, 2013 at 12:26 pm
reminiscing about girlfriends past (and not necessarily about *HOW* they passed)
January 18th, 2013 at 4:14 pm
He absent-mindedly wanders into an archery store and is soon surrounded by BOWS.
January 20th, 2013 at 8:15 am
… which are wielded by ARCHERY STORE AMAZONS!
The Amazons tell Moe to get down on his knees while making hand gestures.
Moe just stands and looks while still wearing his headphones.
Moe shrugs and says “what?”
January 21st, 2013 at 1:23 am
still hangin around
still slingin haikus about
been really busy
January 21st, 2013 at 1:24 am
(ohohohoho, i bet you all thought i stopped posting, which is understandable, but i’ve been doing some Big Life Things and haven’t been able to post with my usual zealous regularity. this may or may not change soon? at any rate, i’m not abandoning the site and i’m certainly not abandoning Moe by any means)
January 21st, 2013 at 9:08 am
Don’t worry too much about it, come and join our silly comic text collaborations.
January 21st, 2013 at 6:24 pm
With their knee gestures,
Moe mistakes the AMAZONS
For Skyrim people.
… yes, I went there.
January 22nd, 2013 at 1:21 am
Moe asks them what they were doing before they took the arrow – and never finishes the joke after being shot in the knee. Twice.
January 22nd, 2013 at 1:21 am
Twice.
January 22nd, 2013 at 5:12 am
Twice in either knee.
Moe, sent to the hospital, …
…
…
… Finds new love int’rest?
January 22nd, 2013 at 2:48 pm
Moe looks on the bright side, looks forward to hospital jello, when suddenly…a vistor?
January 22nd, 2013 at 2:48 pm
(Agh, someone break my kneecaps for that one)
January 22nd, 2013 at 4:56 pm
The ARCHERY STORE AMAZONS still have plenty of arrows…
January 22nd, 2013 at 4:57 pm
Oh, hey Moe. Fancy meeting you here. In the hospital. With suspiciously similar injuries.
January 24th, 2013 at 2:34 pm
Moe looks blankly at Nimz. “Do I know you?”
January 26th, 2013 at 11:45 pm
*comes into the room* Hello, I’m your doctor. May I ask what you’re here for? Oh, if you’re wondering why you can’t feel your legs, that just means the Novocain kicked in, so don’t worry. We administered it directly to the breakage sites!
January 28th, 2013 at 1:46 am
Moe has injuries
Far too terrible to heal.
(Organs are missing)
January 30th, 2013 at 6:02 am
Organs are missing?
Caladlana is the suspect.
Quickly! Restrain her!
February 1st, 2013 at 9:04 am
(See … I think it would have been in a Firmanesque sense of humor to indicate that Moe had no legs due to him being listed on his ID as a leg donor. But eh, it’s not my story!)
February 1st, 2013 at 11:13 am
my dear fren it is everyones story at the moment. treat it like the wanton hussy it is and take it round the block. this story is the filler crack whore whilst we wait for lord firman to bring us the properly illustrated and hilarious genuine high class escort that is moe
February 2nd, 2013 at 3:44 pm
“… No, you don’t understand, Doc Cal, I’m a piano donor, not an organ donor. … Yes, you can have the tuning fork, Hey! That’s a wishbone, not a tuning fork!”
My confidence in the competence of doctors in this realm has actually gone up due to this encounter.
February 4th, 2013 at 3:31 am
(Heh heh heh, I’m totally going to steal that piano-organ joke)
February 5th, 2013 at 10:21 am
Pian’Moe or Moe’rgan?
February 5th, 2013 at 1:47 pm
And is he part of a CM’oe?
February 7th, 2013 at 4:39 am
Though we may grow tired, we must never stop Moeing.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:20 pm
Health care or health scare?
Doc has a knockout technique -
I’m out seven teeth!
(At least I was rendered unconscious for the duration of the knee amputation surgery. I’m not sure how they managed to remove my knees and leave my legs and feet attached to the rest of my body…)
February 8th, 2013 at 3:16 am
But that doesn’t explain the teeth!
February 8th, 2013 at 6:25 am
My goodness, you’re right!
The only explanation:
My teeth are knees now.
February 10th, 2013 at 2:49 am
Nimz, I am afraid you’re taking too much medication.
February 10th, 2013 at 11:17 pm
How many atoms in a guaca-mole?
Avocado’s number.
February 11th, 2013 at 2:52 am
Haiku, they only gave me the Schedule II stuff. Imagine how much more interesting this would have been if they bumped me all the way up to Schedule V! Oh, and by ‘they’ I mean Them! Somehow I got transported to a hospital where all the doctors and all the other patients are giant ants. But they’re pretty friendly, so it’s all good. You can tell the President he can stop sending fighter jets to ‘rescue’ me.
February 11th, 2013 at 9:06 am
Hark! This mattress be
unflippable! Moe shall ne’er
never allow it.
February 12th, 2013 at 5:46 am
Careful with your speech!
‘Unsinkable Titanic’
is what they all said.
And then they were all dumbfounded when Moe’s matress hit an iceberg…
February 15th, 2013 at 4:46 pm
Has it been five months?
Eliot’s words still ring true:
“Moe, STOP! SEE PEE SPOTS”.
February 16th, 2013 at 2:53 pm
Moe stews in his own.
What ripe cocktail doth he make?
A drink none partake.
February 16th, 2013 at 2:53 pm
You make everything groovy,
Moe. Just one look at your bed
Is proof of that point.
It proves some other things, too, but let’s not examine those things too closely lest our olfactory senses become overwhelmed.
February 18th, 2013 at 12:10 am
How did I think 7-7-5 was 5-7-5?
A slight to the form.
My deepest apologies
For rhythmic error.
February 18th, 2013 at 11:53 am
This mattress comic reminds me of another Moe comic… http://www.firmanproductions.com/?p=530
February 19th, 2013 at 8:59 am
Such a show of bladder control! To top off a small wine glass, pinch off and hold the remainder is truly a show of remarkable tenacity. You keep at ‘em, Moe.
February 19th, 2013 at 2:02 pm
Ah, Doramjan, yes. Classic Moe response. Why move when you don’t have to?
February 20th, 2013 at 10:47 am
A slow comment stream
Has the Admiral vanished?
We patiently wait
February 20th, 2013 at 10:49 am
NO JOKE, I went to the haiku generator at http://www.generatorland.com/glgenerator.aspx?id=113 and it made the following (eerily appropriate for this comic) haiku:
messages under
darting salmon on stained sheets
mocking bird for love
February 20th, 2013 at 10:50 am
I shall leave its interp’Moetation to the wisdom of the crowd
February 20th, 2013 at 1:46 pm
Wow. That is eerily appropriate. That may also be the explanation for Moe’s failed attempts at love – he’s only had human love interests instead of mocking birds.
February 21st, 2013 at 7:43 am
the comments have dried
all gone is the great word rush
lord firman is still
February 22nd, 2013 at 8:58 am
Yet we merry few
We band of brothers remain
On Saint Crispin’s Day.
Crud, I’m late again, it’s February. Well, it’s the thought that counts, right?
February 22nd, 2013 at 11:13 am
godbless henry the fifth.
February 22nd, 2013 at 11:41 am
much-delayed haiku
swoops in for post four hundred;
moe is eternal.
February 23rd, 2013 at 3:55 am
Fren, it is always
Always always, in always,
the thought that counts here.
February 23rd, 2013 at 9:37 am
I’m going to bounce back. I’ll figure out a way. It’s been months since I’ve even drawn anything which is shameful, but also means the artistic urge is getting backed up. You folks have been unnaturally patient and forgiving and that demands some kind of rewarding payoff.
February 23rd, 2013 at 11:16 am
Firman, we are pulling for you! Keep your stick on the ice
February 25th, 2013 at 7:24 am
This haiku not found.
In this non-existent post,
There is no comment.
(If no one else is going to nab 404…)
February 25th, 2013 at 9:25 am
oh shit im glad you got it nimz, i probably would have wasted it. and the lord returns. much like pavlov’s dog we shall wait for the picture drawings
February 25th, 2013 at 8:38 pm
Just wanted to let you know that although I’ve never posted I’ve been following Moe for years, and you always do great work admiral. I’m sure I’m not the only one fondly F5′ing from the shadows.
February 26th, 2013 at 9:15 am
We shall mill about the site
and patiently wait.
Moe shall return soon.
February 26th, 2013 at 3:43 pm
Artistic urges
Have been backing up for months.
I’d feel an urge too.
Moe’s still in his bed—
Things are starting to back up.
I’d feel an urge too.
Best of luck, Firman!
We’ll be pleased with what comes out
Whenever it comes.
February 28th, 2013 at 1:25 pm
When haikus fail, what will bring news of Moe?
When after months of wait there’s still no show,
What else can we, the stubborn faithful, try?
Moe’s fast asleep, in bed (whose forms defy
The laws of nature, as we’re told). And so
We wait, write haikus, many in a row,
Draw sundry fan art gifs, and hide our woe
In cheerful comments written with a sigh,
When haikus fail.
If forum posts are still not running low,
Is it because, deep down, we simply know
That Moe, for all his dumbness, cannot die?
We hold out hoping, yet we know not why:
And therefore, friends, I offer this rondeau,
When haikus fail.
February 28th, 2013 at 7:15 pm
Silent Fan, I want to echo what you were saying. I rarely if ever comment on here, but I frequently F5 with a hope that will not fade. Admiral, you have more followers than I can count on 2 severed hands.
February 28th, 2013 at 9:03 pm
I slow clap, Officer
What rhythm Moe will never know.
Poetry forever.
March 1st, 2013 at 12:52 am
“Localization”
So long; it’s often shortened
To just “L10n”.
I’d like to propose
The same treatment for “Firman”:
Admiral “F5″.
A fitting reminder;
With each keystroke, a tribute:
F5 to reload.
March 1st, 2013 at 4:16 am
Palindr’moe, wait.
F5 is the Moe L10n?
Pronounced Lion, yes.
March 5th, 2013 at 10:11 am
slowly working towards the magical 450th comment on the 450th comic
March 5th, 2013 at 6:47 pm
Oh, now that will be
A sight unseen for Moe’nths
Magnificent, yes?
March 7th, 2013 at 10:44 am
GLORY GLORY TO LORD FIRMAN. GLORY GLORY TO LORD FIRMAN. GLORY GLORY TO LORD FIRMAN. LORD FIRMAN MARCHES ON
March 9th, 2013 at 2:54 am
Another day, another word for our Admiral.
March 9th, 2013 at 3:32 pm
Advance to 450. Who will steal, win, acquire the top spot?
March 9th, 2013 at 3:36 pm
An infinite well:
Our tragic hero arrives,
“Who drank every drop?”
March 9th, 2013 at 3:38 pm
Hi Haiku!
(Is this comment high enough? Hai!)
March 9th, 2013 at 4:08 pm
We must push onwards -
450 won’t post itself.
We race viciously.
March 9th, 2013 at 5:03 pm
Not too viciously -
If we sabotage ourselves,
No one can triumph.
Racing Co`Moe’rades,
Let us charge forth unhinder’d;
Success will be had!
March 11th, 2013 at 3:30 am
TALLY HO. PIP PIP. POST HASTE. onwards gents to claim the might prize
March 11th, 2013 at 8:19 am
A strategy most reserved, that is the only sort that shall suit!
March 11th, 2013 at 10:56 am
Shall we sneak? Or stand? Or walk on our hands?
March 11th, 2013 at 11:44 pm
Forwards we go, united together by Moe
March 12th, 2013 at 8:50 am
Or shall you lurk and snipe when the moment is right? Decisions, decisions.
March 13th, 2013 at 3:01 am
i for one am all for the fun of an all out fisticuffs bout. winner takes all
March 13th, 2013 at 12:52 pm
Another drop in the ocean.
I am stricken by the notion
If Moe stayed in bed this long
(Of course I might just be wrong…),
He’ll need some calamine lotion.
March 13th, 2013 at 6:40 pm
Fisticuffs are not that fun!
A bap to the head is a nasty stun.
I’m frankly no good,
so prehaps I should
Simply go purchase a gun?
March 14th, 2013 at 4:06 am
(Random thought, what if the Admiral sails away with 450?)
(Which one of us will compose his lyrical diddy?)
(Is that even a word?)
(How patently absurd.)
(I know rhyme not hello kitty)
March 14th, 2013 at 4:08 am
but dent bringing a gun
to a fight is no fun
i’d rather instead
a strike to the head
then a bullet i cannot outrun
March 14th, 2013 at 4:09 am
That sounds like the most reasonable means to address that problem, Dent, but I can only fully endorse your course of action…
As long as the gun
Does no damage to your face.
(You’ll poke your eye out!)
You know what? I’ll just let you buy your gun and just take pictures when the inevitable happens.
March 14th, 2013 at 4:11 am
Oh, hello Omi.
Greetings to you, too, Haiku
I did not see you.
March 14th, 2013 at 5:25 am
All haikus should rhyme
The hipsters call it rhyme time.
Is that a black mime?
March 14th, 2013 at 8:19 am
Shall it be a curse of reason?
To think, now, of the Feast of Saint Patrick?
Abandon ye the haiku! ‘Tis the season
of the limerick!
March 14th, 2013 at 2:16 pm
I’ve been trying to convince my wife to have another baby so we can get another Moe comic.
March 14th, 2013 at 4:15 pm
What lyrical brilliance
under the surveillance
of the Admiral.
Holy Mackerel.
You all deserve some mints.
(I know, I know.. my meter is all off. I’m just not feeling it today)
March 14th, 2013 at 10:55 pm
Former Best Pie grunt
Has a Happy Pi Day stunt:
“Eat more pie, you *&$%.”
March 14th, 2013 at 10:57 pm
That last line may be why the first line said ‘former’.
March 15th, 2013 at 7:38 am
only 10 more comments to go. we band of brothers shall push ever onwards.
March 15th, 2013 at 8:23 am
There once was a comic named Moe
And in it, a brother named Bo
We’ve been waiting for months
Rhyming on all fronts
Just hoping the Admiral would show.
No harm to Mr. Firman intended! We just loves us some Moe.
March 16th, 2013 at 1:55 am
Heh heh, we should really start having some Moe related holidays. For example, how would Moe celebrate Saint Patricks? Spoiler: I imagine a great deal of vomiting.
March 16th, 2013 at 4:48 am
Moeseph will be
Celebrating
St. Patrick’s Day?
March 16th, 2013 at 2:44 pm
Moeseph P. Dope
And brother Bo
With green party hats!
March 17th, 2013 at 7:57 am
my st patricks day was celebrated the traditional irish way, alone, with a bottle of whiskey, listening to the pogues and christy moore. irish heritage shines through. has moe got any irish blood in him?
March 17th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
I think Moe has had Irish blood -on- him. Considering how easily Moe insults others.
March 17th, 2013 at 12:09 pm
Did I say insult? I meant influence.
March 17th, 2013 at 12:11 pm
Wait, no. I meant insult.
March 18th, 2013 at 2:41 pm
Post four fifty!
With meter to match!
March 18th, 2013 at 11:34 pm
Make more comics, dumbbutt.
March 19th, 2013 at 2:25 am
Forgive him, Admiral! Smite Darren not!
March 19th, 2013 at 2:46 am
26 1/2 hours that the post 450 slot was available before being taken. We are clearly `Moe’ch too chivalrous for our own good. Congratulations, Palindr`moe’!
March 19th, 2013 at 3:22 am
not darren where do you get off MATE?!?
March 19th, 2013 at 10:19 am
I’m glad Palindr’moe’ got the magical ’450′. I didn’t have anything *NEARLY* clever enough to occupy such an honorable comment slot.
BTW, Not Darren appears to be a friend of Firman (see http://www.darrencalvert.com/links.htm ) Maybe it’s some friendly banter to prod the Admiral into action? If so, I say “double dumb butt”!
March 19th, 2013 at 4:14 pm
Here’s a new goal:
Let’s work to achieve
Comment five seven five!
March 20th, 2013 at 12:12 am
A fine goal, Pal-moe!
Five seven five, perfect, yes!
Now friends needed here.
March 20th, 2013 at 2:42 am
Five starts and ends,
Seven in between:
Thusly are great poems conformed.
March 20th, 2013 at 7:21 am
in light of this news DUMB BUTTS AHOY
comment 5 7 5 shall not be mine as alas my skill in the haiku is sorely lacking. but i am confident that you, my brethren have the strength within you to muster up the mightest haiku the world has ever seen.
March 20th, 2013 at 12:43 pm
Omi, comment 5 7 5 doesn’t need to be a haiku. It just needs to happen. This is what is most important. Almost as important as figuring out what our -next- goal will be. Did we ever reach comment 1000? Or reverse haiku of 7 5 7?
March 20th, 2013 at 3:49 pm
Should comment count
Determine syllables?
Yes!
March 21st, 2013 at 8:17 am
Should comment count
Determine syllables?
No way!
March 21st, 2013 at 2:05 pm
Civil War!
March 21st, 2013 at 2:30 pm
I’ll side with no:
I can’t do that many
Syllables, guys.
March 22nd, 2013 at 8:02 am
oh lordy it be anarchy in the streets
March 24th, 2013 at 1:38 am
757 isn’t going to post itself, guys.
March 24th, 2013 at 5:12 am
ONWARDS FIRMAN’S SOOOOoooOOooLDIERS MARCHING OUT TO WAAAARR.
March 24th, 2013 at 5:15 am
(sing along)sometiiiimes i feel ive got to bah bah
March 24th, 2013 at 10:36 pm
Moe’s singin’ by now, too…
“This is it, boys, this is war – what are we waiting for?
Why don’t we break the rules already?
I was never one to believe the hype! Save that for the black and white
Try twice as hard and I’m half as liked, But here they come again to jack my style…
That’s all right. I found a peestain in my bed tonight.
Stops my bones from wonderin’, just who I am, who I am.
Well, some nights I wish that this would all end,
Cuz I could use some friends for a change.
And some nights I’m scared you’ll forget me again,
But some nights I always win.
But I read these posts,
And I renew my hope
Oh Lord, I am more sure
What I stand for–
What do I stand for?
Oh, Moe!
What do I stand for?
Oh Moe!”
March 24th, 2013 at 10:38 pm
(may Nate Ruess forgive, but everytime I hear that song, I think of all the Moe’s of the world)
March 25th, 2013 at 2:45 am
I have no idea what either of you are singing, but if you don’t mind some offkey “la-da-li-lala-dah” chiming in, I’ll gladly sing along.
March 25th, 2013 at 3:00 am
NIMZ!
You will go and listen to the band Fun. (the period is part of the name), -now-.
March 25th, 2013 at 8:49 am
nimz i was singing tainted love
March 25th, 2013 at 10:57 am
Moe Halloween….what would Moe wear? A sheet with too many eyes has been done. Would Moe just go for a paper sack and call himself king?
March 26th, 2013 at 5:30 am
I can get behind
A Tainted Love sing-a-long.
I’ve heard Fun. before.
Or rather, one song
(I think it is We Are Young)
gets overplayed here.
Anyway, here’s my contribution to the singing:
When you’re down and out,
When you’re on the sheets,
When evening falls so hard,
I will comfort you.
March 26th, 2013 at 2:57 pm
As spring approaches
I continue reading Moe
into a new year.
March 26th, 2013 at 4:35 pm
Carp, it being spring, does this mean you migrate back to your native waters to repopulate or am I still thinking Salmon?
March 27th, 2013 at 7:25 am
Ya, Carp! CARP-e diem and Moe’grate back to your native waters already!!
March 28th, 2013 at 8:08 am
Those pee stains are almost 6 months old. Come on, Moe! Just clean the mattress already!
March 28th, 2013 at 2:49 pm
Burn the mattress.
March 28th, 2013 at 3:59 pm
Those stains will be a heck of a lot harder to clean out now than they were then. Incendiary measures may be the best way to deal with it now. Moe, you need to find a pyro woman to be romantically involved with you.
March 28th, 2013 at 3:59 pm
Sherbet tantrums
(“burn the mattress” rearranged)
March 29th, 2013 at 1:22 am
It’s March 29th again! You know what that means~
http://michaelfirman.ytmnd.com/
Happy birthday, Michael Firman! Hope you have another good one!
March 29th, 2013 at 10:45 am
I thought his birthday was May 4th! Am I wrong?
March 29th, 2013 at 10:55 am
Doram you are entirely correct. I was, and am annually re-, born on the fourth of May. Don’t listen to the Illuminati’s plot to make the date of my special occasion ambiguous.
Thanks again for your patience everyone!
March 29th, 2013 at 12:42 pm
It is somewhat timely, though, seeing as we were just talking about burning things. Happy UNbirthday, Admiral Firman!
March 31st, 2013 at 1:21 am
My friends, we need a Moe pinata and we need that pinata by May.
March 31st, 2013 at 3:37 pm
A Moe pinata…
No foie gras and wine, only
Moe bashing and sweets!
April 1st, 2013 at 2:32 am
A Moe effigy,
But not the kind that you burn:
Let’s play Whack-a-Moe!
April 1st, 2013 at 12:59 pm
Pardon my absence, gentlemen. I have been away in the mist-enshrouded land of Missouri. They sell hard liquor in the gas stations there. Never have I known such fabled lands.
April 1st, 2013 at 11:17 pm
Fren, I hear this is also the land of 10,001 lakes. Perhaps this is where they receive such a great deal of alcohol.
April 2nd, 2013 at 8:48 am
If the uttered words of our sages are to be believed, Minnesota is the land of many lakes. Missouri is the land of one American cultural hero, this Tom Sawyer I’ve read so much about. They also serve a great deal of chicken fried steak, I believe this to be a local delicacy. Yet still, friends, imagine it: in one stop, you can refuel your conveyance, procure tobacco, beer, bourbon AND a sandwich. Truly, this is God’s own design.
April 3rd, 2013 at 3:27 am
they should make tobacco beer bourbon one item. it would be my favourite. the sandwich comes on the side.
April 3rd, 2013 at 8:37 am
No, friend. If such things were allowed, humanity would descend further into being the most lazy race. We’d be contending with cats and sloths at that juncture.
April 3rd, 2013 at 3:37 pm
Whoa whoa whoa, Fren.
Cats are a universally accepted as clumsy asshole ninjas and sloths go with any suit, jungle, or urban environment. I think Omi is on to something. Perhaps Moe ordered one of these tob-beer-bons and is simply waiting for it to arrive.
By delivery.
April 4th, 2013 at 8:38 am
Though your assessments of such animals are realistic, know ye this: cats spend many, many hours of each day sleeping. That is plain lazy. And sloths? They hardly move at all. Give them a couch and a remote control and they’d likely starve to death.
Moe, however, is simply a Zen master. He has no wants. He is free from desire. Understanding the true nature of beds, he knows that such fickle works would only be undone, in the end.
April 4th, 2013 at 10:14 pm
Carp and Nimz and Fren:
Procurers of perfect numbers
In this comment thread.
(6, 28, 496)
April 5th, 2013 at 1:13 am
Fren, you must know I liked your joke about sloths so much I shared it at work. Repeatedly.
April 5th, 2013 at 10:59 am
Steady yourselves, ye gentles. The next man to step up secures the coveted half-a-thousand ‘pon this thread. Bask in this glory!
April 5th, 2013 at 5:26 pm
One, one, one, one, one
Zero, one, zero, zero!
(Moe loves binary.)
April 5th, 2013 at 7:37 pm
that comment about moe being a zen master struck a cord. moe is the most dude-ish guy ever, aside from the great dude himself.
April 6th, 2013 at 11:12 am
One, zero, zero,
One until that many ones
In the binary.
That means just ten more
Comments will take us up to
Ten bits, or something.
April 7th, 2013 at 2:56 am
hey guys has moe updated yet
April 7th, 2013 at 11:02 pm
Everyday, Muke. Everyday. In our hearts.
April 8th, 2013 at 8:14 am
Moe updates several times daily, with our thoughts and brief communiques. The Admiral only swings through port nigh a few times yearly, as his heart belongs to the sea. We merely line the shore and await his return.
April 8th, 2013 at 9:24 am
keeping the dock side wenches warm and the ale flagons full until he sails in once more
April 8th, 2013 at 11:03 am
Aye Aye
April 8th, 2013 at 11:03 am
Here here
April 9th, 2013 at 1:37 am
This comic could probably be made into a `Moe’ntage. Every panel would be Moe in his bed, with a variety of poses and levels of lighting. There are probably better `Moe’ntage ideas, but that one could work.
April 12th, 2013 at 2:51 am
Haiku’s don’t happen.
We must force the issue, Friends.
Much like our dreams here.
April 12th, 2013 at 12:22 pm
Hai, Haiku-sensei.
(In Japanese that would be
much longer than five.)
April 12th, 2013 at 2:30 pm
Time to celebrate!
When lauding large, round numbers
You can’t beat base 2!
April 14th, 2013 at 1:19 am
We’re so close to 575! Well, not really, but it helps to keep going a little further.
April 14th, 2013 at 9:57 am
we are closer to it than we are away dear Haiku
April 15th, 2013 at 10:11 am
A matter of just
10* away… if in
Sexagesimal.
* read: one zero
April 15th, 2013 at 3:41 pm
How pitiable.
Look, arbitrary numbers.
To seek them: folly.
April 15th, 2013 at 9:26 pm
Arbitrary, no.
Epsilon greater than nought…
That’s arbitrary.
Pointless? Perhaps so.
But conversation is sought…
Or commentary.
April 16th, 2013 at 6:46 am
http://i1223.photobucket.com/albums/dd510/MCMcMuke/hehasspoken.jpg
whoops
April 16th, 2013 at 10:09 am
Muke! That is awesome and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter!
April 16th, 2013 at 12:14 pm
Good bye Moe. I presume you’ve died and I removed you from my bookmarks toolbar to make place for thegamercat.com
April 16th, 2013 at 12:34 pm
butter_milch, for why?
Patience is a virtue, Sir
You will be back, Milch.
April 16th, 2013 at 6:05 pm
Each day I return
in hopes of new Moe, also
to read the comments.
April 16th, 2013 at 6:06 pm
Fanart will have to
suffice for now, good sir Muke
provides the latest.
April 17th, 2013 at 4:38 pm
Another day, a
new facet of this comic
observed. Endless wealth.
April 18th, 2013 at 1:14 am
Moe rests, but is not rested;
Slumber tantalising daily, hourly, minutely, by the second.
Annoyances plague the mind.
‘Elliot, though I wait, I am not a waiter. I don’t need your tips!’
Why does Moe wait?
Romantic interests do not simply fall from the sky;
Make your destiny, Moe!
April 18th, 2013 at 10:54 am
Oh yes, he shall marinate and contemplate the meaning of existence. The banality of it all. This comic is the stuff that a master’s thesis in psychology is made of.
April 18th, 2013 at 8:55 pm
just realised it has been more than 7 months since an update and at times i find myself hoping the update never comes because this comment thread is great. but then i realise how much i love reading moe and i have to chastise myself.HOW DO YOU CHOOSE BETWEEN TWO THINGS YOU LOVE??
April 18th, 2013 at 10:19 pm
Seven months, you say?
Maybe Moe has been working…
At bringing new life.
Two more months to wait
To see if this is a real
Possibility.
April 19th, 2013 at 8:32 am
Omi, I believe that the fine folks that produce Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups have proven that sometimes you haven’t got to choose. Ponder that.
April 19th, 2013 at 9:25 am
oh man i forgot about reese’s. fren thank you. you have ended my torment and need for tasty snacks. top stuff
April 21st, 2013 at 2:23 am
We need to get that Moe fan site up. I will totally host.
April 22nd, 2013 at 8:30 am
For all the times that we post the name Moe, I have to wonder if anime search engines bring folks here.
April 22nd, 2013 at 1:27 pm
Admiral, when can we say to you “Shut up and take my money” for an actual physical printed book of Moe comics?
April 22nd, 2013 at 9:24 pm
A prerequisite
to shutting up and taking
Money is talking…
… so as soon as Admiral Firman starts talking about making physical merch, like a book, I suppose.
April 22nd, 2013 at 11:19 pm
I’ve talked briefly to the Admiral about such a thing and he has politely declined at current. This doesn’t mean his opinions haven’t changed, or that I’m a liar, but I think we’ll have to wait a little longer.
FOR NOW.
April 23rd, 2013 at 1:28 am
I think that we should make bootleg Moe merch, and then send the profits to Admiral Firman, WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT
April 23rd, 2013 at 2:39 am
I’ve been getting some increased pressure to make a book lately, which I reckon means demand is increasing?! So maybe it will actually be feasible to recover costs with a printing.
Moe should be resumed before any kind of book launch though. And I’m still ultra-embarrassed by a lot of the old strips. Personally I’d prefer to release a “Best of” collection wherein I select my favourites, rather than an exhaustive series that tours the entire comic. But some of you might disagree!
I’ve thanked you awesome people for sticking by me before – to repeat it after so long would cast doubt on its sincerity. I have to demonstrate this gratitude in the form of some damn comics. Now that the number of visitors on the site has dwindled to a tenth of its prior average, some of the performance anxiety may actually be lessened!
April 23rd, 2013 at 11:12 am
the good admiral has returned to port, welcome home
on another note bootleg moe merch would be dope as fuck.
April 23rd, 2013 at 12:23 pm
Admiral’s Paradox:
In order to see more Moe
We need to look less.
April 24th, 2013 at 9:19 am
Do what makes you most comfortable, Herr Admiral. On one hand, your refinement of the form has proceeded remarkably from the early days. Yet, on another, nobody will recognize the heights you’ve attained without staring deep into the abyss of your earlier works. For a fine example of another artist that began humbly and truly broke out down the line, check out String Theory. No need to be embarrassed. It happens to be the way things work, is all. Over time, with practice, you improve and refine.
April 25th, 2013 at 12:20 am
No idea I have,
What friend Fren said here today.
But it sounds good.
April 27th, 2013 at 1:55 am
This silence. Ugly.
Like the quiet rest of Moe.
Flip the mattress. Please.
April 28th, 2013 at 11:22 pm
Thus saith Moe Dope,
“I will not flip the mattress!”
The pee stains remain.
April 29th, 2013 at 9:16 am
Is that like Also Sprach `Moe’athustra?
April 29th, 2013 at 3:54 pm
Message, to Haiku:
Words of encouragement for
Admiral Firman
April 30th, 2013 at 1:18 am
Admiral’s birthday…
Not yet, but it looms closer.
(Five more syllables)
April 30th, 2013 at 1:20 am
(syllables = days to go?)
April 30th, 2013 at 1:40 am
Now I also bid
My dearest Admiral luck –
With good assurance.
Any form of print,
Be it full compilation
Or simply best-of;
I shall go purchase
Without a delay nor pause -
(Bad ones are still great!)
Glad to hear you’re well!
Hope you’re getting lots of work;
No rush for comics.
April 30th, 2013 at 4:08 am
Printed collection
Would surely be a must-buy
No matter the price
April 30th, 2013 at 5:48 am
i have already sold my first born to start my moe merch slush fund
April 30th, 2013 at 1:16 pm
You should hold on to your first born. I hear they appreciate in value… at least until the teenage years!
May 1st, 2013 at 12:31 am
Appreciation,
Then teen depreciation
Until they mature.
May 2nd, 2013 at 6:39 am
Firstborn for mo’ Moe?
Sounds like a bargain to me,
but I have no kids
May 3rd, 2013 at 8:35 am
neither, at least not anymore, now I’ve just got all this sweet dough ray me floatin round. and a very cranky wife. apparently the baby “WASN’T” for trading. first I ever heard of it.
May 3rd, 2013 at 8:40 am
Might well be that you’ll need to trade the wife and baby as a set. This should help to soften the blow of post-natal separation.
May 3rd, 2013 at 9:29 am
Can someone please tell me why there are Haiku poems in half the comments on the entire website?
May 3rd, 2013 at 9:45 am
Because, a haiku
Faerie comes in the night and
rearranges posts.
There’s nothing we can do.
May 3rd, 2013 at 11:08 am
I have oft wondered
at that mystery, myself.
Elucidation!
May 3rd, 2013 at 12:35 pm
The real question is:
How can we refer to you
In a haiku, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ?
May 4th, 2013 at 4:38 am
Is it now the time?
Annual celebration:
You’re the man now, dog!
(If it doesn’t appear to post this time, I give up.)
May 4th, 2013 at 4:41 am
So it worked that time.
I tried to add title text.
Seems I can’t do that.
May 4th, 2013 at 7:55 am
That website appears to be blocked on my school internet
May 4th, 2013 at 9:07 am
Nimz!!!
You beat me to it!
Happy Birthday to Firman
May the 4th be with …
you
– as a side note, we’re almost up to comment 575!!
May 4th, 2013 at 12:20 pm
¯\_(ツ)_/¯:
That link is the one
Totaliter Aliter
Posted too early
“Disco Inferno”
Plays while a colourful gif
Of Moeseph rocks out.
Here is a copy
Of the gif that’s repeated
To cover the screen.
May 5th, 2013 at 12:24 pm
Admiral Birthday
Is now the official name.
Thank you again, my friends.
May 5th, 2013 at 12:26 pm
But beware the false.
Revenge of the Sixth. Monday.
Sail safe, Admiral
May 6th, 2013 at 3:15 am
Another month ends.
I come back to check on Moe.
Guess I came too soon.
May 6th, 2013 at 8:32 am
None too soon at all!
Enjoy camaraderie
with your fellow fans!
May 6th, 2013 at 11:52 am
Comment five-six-nine.
Six syllables go here.
Start the countdown to five-seven-five.
May 6th, 2013 at 11:59 pm
We are so close now.
The tension is rising. Hot.
Temperature of Moe.
May 7th, 2013 at 2:06 am
Who has yet prepared
For that spot? My prep has been
{}.
Naught. Cipher. Empty.
Void. Null. Vanity. Nada.
Nil. Goose-egg. Zero.
May 7th, 2013 at 2:33 pm
I am also not.
Prepared that is. Plan ahead?
That is not Moe. No.
May 7th, 2013 at 3:45 pm
Some come seeking Moe.
I came for five-seven-five,
Now I wait.
May 8th, 2013 at 8:51 am
You have naught to wait.
Five-seven-five is posted
here every day!
(haiku structure? Yuss. May we save post 575 for Haiku him/herself)
May 11th, 2013 at 2:16 am
(Fren, thank you for the deep compliment. I am not as good at poetry as some of you, so forgive my attempt if it hurts too deeply. The works you, my friends, have shown before have inspired me to compose with careful deliberation. Congratulations on 575. Let’s now make it to reverse haiku, 757)
(Agh, rereading this I can definitely see some mistakes I made in my syntax. Again, forgiveness, poetry is probably one of my weakest skills – right up there with piano juggling. Next time will be better)
Thank you, my good friends.
Your patience, I needed it.
Appreciated.
There once was a man.
No, a captain. Who sailed away
with Moe and a plan.
Travel away, he did,
Across the internet sway.
Doubt, fear, he forbid.
Time passed and beards grew,
Lord Duke of all he purvey,
Admiral made true.
Now Lord Commander,
Firman brought the world’s umbrae,
Moe, the white anchor.
Across the wide world,
From whitest Canada clay,
to Australia furled,
Of Texas down south,
Plus the Martians estray,
Loyal through all drought.
They wait patiently.
For, He will return some day.
From sea to aerie.
Moe will never die.
His image our ships forestay,
Moe knows no goodbye.
May 11th, 2013 at 5:00 am
Ah, ’tis a thing beaut:
Haiku’s amazing tribute;
No soul can dispute.
Nay, this May display:
A delay repaid. Hooray!
Tres bien, I say.
May 11th, 2013 at 6:41 am
holy shit you have no idea how hard it was not commenting, but it was so very worth it. godbless you Haiku you glorious son of a bitch, truly the great firman lay his guiding hand upon thee when you crafted this poem
May 12th, 2013 at 3:40 am
Happy `Moe’ther’s Day!
May 12th, 2013 at 5:33 am
It was weird to sit around silently, but worth it. Nice job, Haiku.
May 13th, 2013 at 8:48 am
And thus, the ultimate lesson, buried deep within the very pixels of Moe:
Those with patience garner the best rewards.
May 13th, 2013 at 9:23 am
Slow clap for Haiku
Extremely well done, my friend!
Best . Haikus . Ever .
May 17th, 2013 at 12:49 pm
In honor of Star Trek Into Darkness, I posit that if Moe were in the Star Trek universe, he would be a Pakled or a Zakdorn. Perhaps a low-IQ Ferengi.
May 18th, 2013 at 7:04 am
My great response lost.
Written on a piece of card.
Irritating. No?
May 19th, 2013 at 4:24 am
Moe, I am sleepy.
Let someone else have a chance
To snuggle in bed!