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Truly, I was expecting Moe to state that he was leaving the footie to the silly Europeans or some such. Start his own Tazmanian rules Murderball match.
Friends, haiku is not my-ku. I admire the abilities inherent in expressing a complete thought in a mere 17 syllables. Truly, a wonder. Kitchen prose, however, serves better my purposes. Perhaps the occasional gutter rhyme.
I’ll have to make an official announcement about this later, but I may be out of action for a while :C
My tablet is dead, and it was my fantastic companion through 8 years of learning illustration. I’ll have to get a fresh one (even though I dislike the drawing surface roughness of newer models) but am in the middle of moving, and don’t exactly have much money. I’m going to apply for work in trainyards and really hope I can get some kind of job there, because trains! Choo choo! Then hopefully I’ll get back on track with the art stuff, pun intended.
Also rollercoaster tycoon is anything but a crappy game!
Michael Firman. You have created one of my favorite comics, and I want to see it continue. E-mail me your mailing address, and I will mail you a Wacom Bamboo tablet.
(Philip, you honor us and Admiral Firman. I will go to Mr. Firman’s paypal and begin donating what I can to get him a fancy desk for his tablet (or) a second bamboo tablet so the first won’t get lonely)
Haha! You guys are fun! Before you start thinking my Spanish name should be Señor Dinero, let me clarify:
The Bamboo tablet by Wacom is their entry-level tablet (you can get them easily for under $100, where their Intuos 4 sells for around $200). Still, I like it because it feels like drawing with pencil on paper.
Also, this tablet’s not going to be new. I have one sitting in my desk drawer that hasn’t been used for a while. Packing and mailing the tablet’s going to cost all of $5.25. Well, maybe $10 if he’s in Canada. 😛
Well, Señor Dinero, that Bamboo is still a quantifiable asset which could be resold for a fair share of the value originally paid. The fact that you would make such an offer to a man that you do not know, even a man so great as our Admiral Firman, is truly in the spirit of generosity.
Philip! I love the offer, you are the BEST! But as it stands I’m inching closer to the necessary funds for a higher end model so I think I will be able to get things in order by beginning of June. It won’t be as big as I’m used to, and it will probably have that rough surface I don’t like, but I’m a big boy and I can get used to it!
Looking forward to digitally drawing again!
Glad to hear you’re getting an awesome tablet! Hey, have you thought of putting an Amazon Affiliate link on your website? It doesn’t cost you anything, and you get like 10% of whatever we purchase through that link. That would include that tablet you’re buying. Sign up as an Amazon Affiliate and make $20 on your own purchase =)
Whoa, I wasn’t talking about duping Amazon! I was talking about using their completely legitimate Affiliate program to link to Amazon. It’s roughly the same as having an ad on your site, but it’s less intrusive because it’s in the form of a link. The link would go to a specific product (say, that tablet he’s buying), but then if you end up buying something else while on Amazon, he still gets around 10%. The writer of http://www.basicinstructions.net just went to part-time on his day job largely because his Amazon Affiliate links were performing well. Just saying, I use Amazon all the time so he’d make at least $20 per month off me alone.
Carp, the Game of Thrones show came out quite well! Granted, they got off the rails from the books a bit, but eh. Dramatic license, I suppose. Still, fun to have faces to put to your favorite characters from the books. I’ll say nothing of plots, as the shows have not caught up to the books and I wish not to spoil anything.
(Couldn’t fit that bit into a haiku, I have not your gift for the form)
Ton … what problems niggle at you? Perhaps a troubleshooting brainstorm can commence?
There once was a Dope from Nantucket
Who had no body hair cuz he pluck’t it
His absence was long
But the memory strong
Joy delayed cuz a dead tablet said …….
A limerick of rhyming haikus! Dang.
Postmodern supra-rhyming meta-verse! You show
How creativity, sparked by despair, will grow:
Such thoughts were ne’er yet thought when Shakespeare sang.
Each verse pierces the silence. Each a pang,
That brings back to our minds what we miss so.
This haiku-versified long wait for Moe
Has turned sad fans into a poet gang.
Shall I compare it to a polar night?
So long and dark. Has it been months, or years?
No Moe, no more. Just moe’aning, mourning, fears.
There’s just this tiny hope that gives us light:
That one day Hunk’s great match may still begin.
Football! (The game where jetpacks always win.)
To’Moe’rrow, and to’Moe’rrow, and to’Moe’rrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded haikus;
And all our yesterdays have lighted foo’s
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Moe is a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an Admiral, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Thanks all, for the kind welcome. I like that the fun continues here, even when the (most excellent) comic does not.
Doramjan and Nimz, please do not be offended if Fren and Carp are mentioned in upcoming lines before you are (or choose more wordsmith-friendly nicknames!).
And as long as I’m soliciting help (in prose no less): Firman, how about an upcoming story arc with Moe shopping for new eco-friendly transportation in a fictional New England town? Would you be sinking to low to grant me something like that?
(I mean, the first line rhymes with the first, the second with the second… you can probably figure it out I guess. I’m just babbling in these parentheses)
Palindr’moe’ – not only is a carp a sort of fish. Carp is also a verb! It means “to complain in a fretful manner”. However, our dear friend Carp hardly seems the sort to complain. Those fretful chidings are turned aside and given greater form, higher purpose. Tally ho, poets!
When he smoked a cigar that was Cuban,
Nimz’ breath got too bad for kazoo band.
To my Hindi friend, Na,
For whom “zuban” means “craw”,
I said, “Na, buzz mint at Nimz’ zuban!”
Turns out that the most commented on strip was strip 360 with _491_ comments! Surely we can do better. We’re not even up to 200 yet! Everyone do your part and chip in a comment! http://www.firmanproductions.com/?p=695
[Frankly, I seem to quite like the elegance I find when composing a haiku, (our Anglicized notion of haiku anyway), in Portuguese. The prevalence of additional syllables compared to English enhances the sparseness of each line.
Meanwhile, I’m still trying to figure out how to correctly count syllables. A word such as “peixe” is pronounced with two obvious syllables in many parts of Brazil. But I’m more inclined to hear “peixe” in the Lisbon accent I prefer, with the second syllable so poorly vocalized I would be inclined to count this word as one syllable.
Finally, for fun, I put several of the above examples through Google translate. It makes me want to find a Google engineer to convince to implement haiku detection on the input and try to preserve syllable counts on the output. The current result is already remarkably close in several cases.]
[Roughly “You’re making yourself fall, Moe. Geometry, here!”. Perhaps what Moe’s Portuguese aunt yelled to him when he was neglecting his studies?
And yes, it should be “estas a cair-te” and even then I don’t know how much of a stretch it is to use cair reflexively like this. Perhaps all is fair in love and palindromes?]
(Hey look! A fellow Portuguese speaker. What’s up, Palindr’moe’!
I don’t claim to be fluent in the language or anything, and as you said, it’s tricky counting syllables when thinking geographical pronunciation differences – I am 100% terrible at understanding and speaking Portugal Portuguese, which I understand occasionally involves curtailing the last syllable of some words.
I’m not saying haikus are any easier in your favoured dialect because of that, but it must be weird [it is for me] to read each other’s haikus and think, “Hmmm… that’s one syllable too many,” or vice versa.
And alas, my Portuguese is pretty rusty; I doubt my ability to twist around words like I might in English. Although who knows! Maybe the Portuguese haiku will make another appearance in my posts! Also, as an aside, I’ve never read any Portuguese poetry of any form.)
It was quite funny to wake up this morning and find a haiku in Portuguese. It almost felt like a setup, since that’s coincidentally the only (non-computer) language I have any familiarity with other than English. My experience with Portuguese involved living in Portugal for two years, then taking a one-semester course at college. But that was 16 years ago, so it’s definitely pretty rusty now.
I also haven’t read any Portuguese poetry. But I do have some works by Fernando Pessoa on a long list I maintain of books that I want to read at some point. It’s interesting to note that he also published poems that he composed in English—definitely quite a challenge to do that in a non-native language.
Anyway, back to our irregularly-scheduled programming.)
I was just looking at some of the older comments and noticed that EVERY Moe comic in June 2012 was about how much Moe hates Mondays & how much he wants some coffee! ( I’m referring to this, btw: http://www.firmanproductions.com/?p=749#comment-8313 ). We’re still here, and…
For all of zero,
An Admiral forgiven.
Logically sound.
(* crossing fingers that the hypertext markup works as expected *)
Illegal racing –
Your motorcycle is wrecked!
You still got first place!?
(In Road Rash II I learned the hard way that if the bike was damaged to where I couldn’t tell if it would blow up or not, especially when very close to the finish line, it is far better to run through the finish line than to chance it.)
Once upon a ‘Moe’night dreary, while we waited, weak and weary,
Waiting for the Firman’s update, some new comic news of Moe,
While we waited, ever pining, passing time by words combining,
Oftentimes 5-7-5ing, lining haikus praising Moe.
‘Tis no substitute, for certain, lining haikus praising Moe;
We have this and nothing ‘moe’.
With the pile of comments growing, words from keyboards ever flowing,
Charts with colors nearly glowing now appear in comment flow.
Pies and donuts, appetizing, represent with slice’s sizing,
Commenters most enterprising, seeking but to honor Moe.
For the vain, conceited reader cannot bear the wait for Moe,
And from them we hear no ‘moe’.
Jetpack hunk with soccer matches, Eliot’s interest briefly catches,
Turning—yearning for another player condescends to Moe.
Their exchange and clever banter like an advertising banner,
Rests atop my browser window ever as it did befo’e.
No refresh will change that banner—never as it did befo’e,
There it sits, that self-same Moe.
And that comic, never changing, still is hanging, ever hanging,
In my cursed browser window; where despair is growing sore.
And “refresh” I’m ever clicking, but that comic keeps on sticking;
And my clock continues ticking, making dread within me soar;
And the dread my soul can’t stomach, is that one day seeking ‘Moe’r,
I’ll see only 404.
(With my most sincere apologies to Edgar Allan Poe and to our Admiral as well. I’m more optimistic about the glorious return of Moe than one might surmise from the above. But given the original material, it seemed the poem must end with Moe’s web-comic death.)
A maths geek pondered,
“Does Moe celebrate pi day?
Maybe variants?”
Pi approximation day (22 July) will soon be upon here.
I wonder how the fates of other Best Pie employees appear.
We know Zane had to be written out (Admiral’s commentary in comic 388).
Did Alicia marry the Malki! clone of Moe’s dreams, or wait!
Did she marry Mr. Cement Bag Head?*
Are her 50 babies staying fed?
I think that’s about all I have for the moment.
There may be more after more archive time spent.
*Would she then be Alicia Cement Bag Head, or just Alicia Head? or would she even change her name at all?
We shall post, and haiku, and forge poetry of both long and short forms. The comments shall rise, ever higher. Perhaps, one day, the gleam of our combined efforts will catch the eyes of gods and admirals.
For us, there is but this. We post. We yearn. Onward, upward.
Self-referential,
Dependent on post count:
A risky haiku.
There once was a Moe-fan, a swede,
who wrote comments so sadly in need
of a certain position.
Having failed in this mission,
he went back to smoking some herring.
Smoked fish is so good…
Not that I’d eat our friend Carp…
Smoked salmon —> drooling.
Counting in roman numerals,
Creating praise for admirals,
Choose this poem’s first letter
In each line for the better –
Voila! Post count self-referral!
Been a few months, Admiral on hiatus
huntin’ round for tablets, damned if the man hate us
Grabbin the Moeseph haters by the throat
Throttle necks like “is Carp a misanthrope?”
Don’t want no haters on M.P Dope
Leave em with no hope
The rest, we stay shining until past dawn and
No rest while we write, poems comin’ out the wrong end
Types of praise reserved for the least reviled
Let the people get riled, let them name their king
Let the king reign (rain) over his kingdom with fists
Let his cartoons flood the streets, they be our grist
The most exalted, the Captain
The salty world-weary veteran
Build for him monuments, vaulted
A new reality, altered
In the meantime, be patient, relax
Over beats slow, kick facts
Drop the dopest, worthiest, wordiest raps
Praisin’ Firman on these raps
As we wait for a new coming, the new attack
Though beets be delicious (and very nutritious), they should be avoided when sick.
I fear Palindr’moe’ may have misread, fo’ sho’, the talented rap-authors nick.
For fishes be laying these beats very well.
The baseline is ever so deep.
Though wiki now tells me they’re freshwater fish(!),
I’ll have to absorb this, then sleep.
Lines written from beyond the grave, in the voice of a hell-guard fiend on Nethergatory, formerly a corrupt police officer while still alive.
Writing a goddamn sonnet isn’t easy.
“Shall I compare thee to a fat old tosser?
Thou art more ugly, Moe, and also grosser.”
Oh man, I do hate poetry. So cheesy.
This whole rhyme-smithing story makes me queazy.
I can’t believe they did this to me. Bother!
And just for that dumb Moe guy’s little brother!
(Oh f… it, why the hell is there no feasi-
-ble rhyme here? See? Now this has spoiled my stanza.)
Why did they make me write these stupid verses?
This task must be the worst of Satan’s curses.
My mind is not a poetry bonanza!
And come to think of it that all of that
Is just because we let escape that brat!
Friends, relax yourselves. The Admiral shall return to his work, in his own time. Unless we are prepared to offer him a living, we need to respect his absence as a thing of necessity.
Exercise, have a drink, meditate, pray the shema over and over if you must. Just relax! Moe shall return to we, the faithful. Post on!
Humanity drawn in critical daylight,
simplicity dawns, as us dullards might
observe it.
Moe is us and we are Moe,
in that we wish, of order, to
disturb it.
We tell ourselves from Moe to learn,
some things through which we well may earn
perspective
But football-head or basketball,
it seems to be what I would call,
subjective.
Hypertext markup works. Moe has the jumps, but not so much the kicks. Is this a foreshadowing of his football (soccer) performance? Is there currently any objective in Super Moe’rio Brothers Alpha besides jumping around and exploring? Any plans for Bo to join the action in Beta? It’s pretty sweet already, I must say.
On top of Old S‘Moe’key,
‘Mid haikus and prose,
My poem lost its meaning
When I posted too slow.
The sick beats I referenced,
(With too much delay),
Indeed were those penned by
Officer Mallay.
But Carp, so prolific,
With beats just as sick,
Debuted his long-form skills,
And posted it quick.
Baxarn, of all people,
Should not be surprised;
He had the same problem
With post CCI.
So come ye young poets,
Listen to my wish,
Type and click very quickly,
And look out for that fish.
On top of Old S‘Moe’key,
‘Mid haikus and prose,
My poem lost its meaning
When I posted too slow.
[Feel free to substitute “her” for “his” and “she” for “he”, etc. as necessary in the above. It’s unfortunate that the constraints of English make me guess at gender here, (and interaction over the internet affords few clues to improve the guessing).]
Nimz, there isn’t really a goal or objective yet. I just wanted to see if I could make Moe walk around and look decent. I’ll try to do more complex stuff as I get time I’m totally open to suggestions!
Please pardon me while a let a few words out of my system now:
syllables
letters
pangram
There, that feels better.
I did have to check closely before realizing that “Am I smart enough?” hadn’t written a pangram with the “Quincunx” haiku. It’s remarkably close if merely accidental.
(But in non-Haiku, Dorajam, thank you for a most impressive mini-game throughly expressing the depressing failure that is Moe – not the comic, but the proantagonist himself)
Now on my laptop,
Physics engine gives delight.
Moe’s enemies fall.
What strange universe
Does Moe’rio inhabit?
Perspective reversed.
[Seriously, though, Doramjan, that’s great work. And I think the background scrolling faster than the foreground gives a bit of charm. Not unlike Moe’s eyes looking backward when walking forward.]
Doramjan:
To make a word last two beats in lieu of normal three,
Standard practice is, “Omit and add apostrophe.”.
Thus we can make average become av’rage, you see?
[See the X, Ivy?
Them ain’t no Xs I see.
Oh yes they are. See?]
And yes, this post would have been much better if it appeared 4 posts in the future, but I am not patient enough to wait for that, and it still works here too.
I M D D J B N D M C
Q N X T C C N A C D
C I X L N N S A
U R L N N X S B N D O A
I B D M C U C N N V
U U B M T M T V N M E
[I am the DJ, bein’ the emcee,
Queuein’ ecstasy, see?—in a CD.
See, I excel in an essay.
You are illin’ in excess, bein’ DOA.
I be the emcee you see and envy.
You, you be empty. MTV enemy.]
I noticed this thing.
Also, it should read ‘Moe’rse code.
The numbers worked, though.
(413th post at 3:14 am uses ‘Moe’rse code, partially in honour of a firefly that was once trapped in amber in the comic where 413 is an important number…)
A story lost lacking existence none.
Free form farming poetry pandering masses SI.
Imperial system emissary senate Sith.
Words strung stringing together violin quartet association.
Detached cut off milk putting punctuation none.
(I don’t know why my href=”…” was omitted. Maybe something in the filter chain doesn’t like pastebin. The reaction outweighed the material by far in any case.)
Ask not what Moe can do for you, ask what you can do for Moe. You can always count on Moe to do the right thing—after he’s tried everything else. The only thing we have to fear is insufficient comment count! Let’s shoot for the ‘Moe’n – one small step for Moe; one giant leap for mankind.
Aaaaaaaaaand I think I’m done ‘Moe’lesting quotes for now.
The most remarkable part of that exchange is not the fact that it forms a palindrome, nor is it the fact there is only one vowel used. No, the most remarkable part of that exchange is that Bo said an entire sentence without a single ‘poo’.
Now that the once lofty goal has been met,
The half-thousand mark within easy reach,
With games, models, and poems set,
A new Moe comic remains the elusive peach.
Yet through it all, our hope will never be let.
I was feeling bummed that there hasn’t been an update for a couple of months now, but then I realized something: we’ve had somewhere around 95 — NINETY-FIVE! — Moe comics already this year. That. is. SPECTACULAR! That’s practically 2 comics a week over the course of a year. The problem’s just that he posted them all at the beginning of the year 😛
Alas, I’ve been away. The pile has grown. Let us hope that the gods themselves do not smash down our tower of comments and scatter us to the four winds.
After having a craving for raw fish
I picked up some rice and some crawfish.
This made my dad crabby,
“Crawfish, crayfish, or yabby;
It’s an arthropod, son, it is not fish!”
😮
ASCII art has always been impressive to me. Probably wise that that was not placed directly in the comments, as the line breaks would probably break down. And other things could go wrong.
Sorry to hear that.
Just remember to drink lots
And lots of water.
I have yet to use
A/C in my apartment.
School is cool enough.
It also helps that I have an office at school, so the triple digits can still largely be avoided, even on the weekends. My car, on the other hand… yeah, I’ve been using the hell out of that air conditioning. Which is kind of a luxury, since the last two summers I had a vehicle with nonfunctioning A/C.
Let’s petition the Admiral to invite guest columnists to create Moe comics in his absence. I suggest Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins of Penny Arcade first. After all, Moe does have a certain resemblance to the ghosts in Super Mario Brothers. Admiral, what think ye?
Alas, dear Dent, and all other dear friends … it may seem as though our Admiral is letting us down. However, being a master of the human psyche, what he is truly doing is building us up. His absence shall make us grow stronger, for one cannot truly know the glory of Heaven without first wretching into the porcelain bowels of Hell.
When times are dark and hopes are faint, let your faith be as a light.
Although my favorite series was a camera shot of several wi-fi networks, the top saying
“give us back our pink flamingos”
and a little lower
“your pink flamingos are mine forever”
Though late to the party, I shall share nonetheless. My wifi network name is … corn. All of my neighbors try to be clever, with names such as “Spidey’s Den” and “Wolf Lodge”. I shall roll monosyllabic with my SSID.
Corn, I shall say, is simply atypical of names generally given for a wifi SSID. A hidden nugget of joy for wardrivers, a chance to think “WTF is that git thinkin?” Why not deploy easter eggs for the curious, I say.
You’ve got me musing…
Chief Poetry Officer?
Could that be a thing?!
I’m glad you like the limerick, Baxarn. Before framing it, I’d really like to come up with a better second line. The current one is just empty filler, (and the repeated initial “in” is annoying.
Nimz, thanks for your help.
That’s poetry perfection.
Comedy divine.
And it’s not just filler anymore. While providing a complete thought, the second line now gives the perfect setup for the punchline. Collaborative poetry success!
Hello! Quick question that’s entirely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly?
My weblog looks weird when viewing from my iphone4.
I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to
resolve this problem. If you have any suggestions, please share.
Many thanks!
Doramjan was my fiance in early 2015. He passed away suddenly in May 2016. I missed him so much tonight, I searched the Internet to find his online presence and remember him. I found this quite brilliant and entertaining place where his personality shone. Thank you for your parts in it, all of you! If
May 8th, 2012 at 9:42 pm
Multiple comics
With a maximum number
Of packed-in humour;
With enough comics,
I’ll exhibit perpetual
Gut-busting laughter;
My stomach, weaker!
My intestines, bursting forth!
Consequence of jokes.
May 9th, 2012 at 12:11 am
Updates at speeds quick –
I require innovation
For timely haikus.
May 9th, 2012 at 6:43 am
Umlauts!!!
May 9th, 2012 at 7:33 am
Truly, I was expecting Moe to state that he was leaving the footie to the silly Europeans or some such. Start his own Tazmanian rules Murderball match.
May 9th, 2012 at 7:50 am
@MS Paint Adventurer
Finally, my opportunity to be a true ortography nazi has come: The ß isn’t an umlaut, it’s a special consonant.
May 9th, 2012 at 1:23 pm
Moe could almost pass for a soccer ball with some strategically placed black shapes…
May 9th, 2012 at 2:49 pm
@Dreab
“special consonant” is vague. It’s an eszett.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:01 pm
It’s not difficult
Imagining Moe vs kids
Steamrolled victory
May 10th, 2012 at 7:44 am
Yes, ze umlaut is ze two leeddle dots over ze vowel. Und ze eszett is fur when you has two uv ze letter “S” togezer. Zey goes aber ze lange vowels.
That’s my best fake German accent. Don’t judge.
May 10th, 2012 at 2:39 pm
We never judge here.
Although, syllables…they are.
Don’t make mistakes there.
May 10th, 2012 at 2:58 pm
There are some things, friends,
That must be done correctly.
Syllables is one.
May 11th, 2012 at 7:22 am
Friends, haiku is not my-ku. I admire the abilities inherent in expressing a complete thought in a mere 17 syllables. Truly, a wonder. Kitchen prose, however, serves better my purposes. Perhaps the occasional gutter rhyme.
May 11th, 2012 at 9:53 am
Twelve comments, matching
With the comics’ twelve year olds;
Now, no more. (sorry)
May 11th, 2012 at 9:55 am
Fren, feel no worries.
All poetries are welcome
In this little space.
May 11th, 2012 at 9:56 am
(Of course, by poems,
I also mean to include
Your kitchen proses)
May 14th, 2012 at 10:34 am
(Oh Moesday, when will you return)
May 14th, 2012 at 10:24 pm
I fear thee gone now–
Doodler of the fantastic.
But what do I know?
(I’m the Prince of Dread–ruler of all things half-empty. Meh…)
May 15th, 2012 at 2:55 am
Waiting for comics,
With a trusty bag of chips;
I won’t be hungry.
May 15th, 2012 at 2:56 am
Check time, 3 AM:
Mediocre poetry
Spills from my fingers.
May 15th, 2012 at 4:25 am
Diablo 3 here.
But it won’t load, much like Moe.
Twice sadness. Cry cry.
May 16th, 2012 at 7:24 am
Alas, no Diablo 3 for me. I have but Minecraft to keep me company.
May 16th, 2012 at 10:46 am
For now, my game is
Rollercoaster Tycoon 2;
Replaying classics.
May 16th, 2012 at 10:47 am
By classics I mean
Crappy games from the 90s;
I still love ’em, though.
May 16th, 2012 at 11:42 am
Alas, I had stuff –
Things to write in Haiku form –
For my first ‘Moe’pdate.
Was it all for naught?
Now that I caught up, Moe leaves?
How miserable!
It’s all my fault, see.
I started reading archives,
And now no mo’e Moe.
May 16th, 2012 at 6:15 pm
I’ll have to make an official announcement about this later, but I may be out of action for a while :C
My tablet is dead, and it was my fantastic companion through 8 years of learning illustration. I’ll have to get a fresh one (even though I dislike the drawing surface roughness of newer models) but am in the middle of moving, and don’t exactly have much money. I’m going to apply for work in trainyards and really hope I can get some kind of job there, because trains! Choo choo! Then hopefully I’ll get back on track with the art stuff, pun intended.
Also rollercoaster tycoon is anything but a crappy game!
May 16th, 2012 at 9:23 pm
I suppose what lacks
in graphics is made up for
in creative fun!
May 16th, 2012 at 9:24 pm
Firman moves away:
Gone is the admiral hat;
Call him, “conductor.”
May 16th, 2012 at 9:25 pm
Nimz, don’t worry much.
Firman may have absences,
But always returns.
May 17th, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Michael Firman. You have created one of my favorite comics, and I want to see it continue. E-mail me your mailing address, and I will mail you a Wacom Bamboo tablet.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:09 pm
True patron of arts:
A passion for great comics;
Generous wallet.
May 18th, 2012 at 7:10 am
A toast to Philip, a true man of wealth and taste.
May 18th, 2012 at 7:22 am
But say it like this:
A true man of wealth and taste —
A toast to Philip.
May 20th, 2012 at 12:38 am
*cough cough*
May 20th, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Dearest Philip,
You reflect the desire for moe Moe in all of us. There’s probably some lust mixed up in there, too.
–Everyone EVER
May 20th, 2012 at 2:19 pm
(Philip, you honor us and Admiral Firman. I will go to Mr. Firman’s paypal and begin donating what I can to get him a fancy desk for his tablet (or) a second bamboo tablet so the first won’t get lonely)
(The Moe must flow)
May 21st, 2012 at 10:19 am
Hip hip, Phillip!
Hip hip, Phillip!
Hip hip, Phillip!
Cheers, of which the number is three.
May 21st, 2012 at 3:55 pm
Wouldn’t such a man,
of such wealth and taste, that is,
find Moe repulsive?
I am so confused!
And yet… and yet… there is hope.
There is always h’Moe’pe.
No way is Phillip,
Patr’Moe’n of awesome comics,
voice for the devil.
May 21st, 2012 at 7:57 pm
Haha! You guys are fun! Before you start thinking my Spanish name should be Señor Dinero, let me clarify:
The Bamboo tablet by Wacom is their entry-level tablet (you can get them easily for under $100, where their Intuos 4 sells for around $200). Still, I like it because it feels like drawing with pencil on paper.
Also, this tablet’s not going to be new. I have one sitting in my desk drawer that hasn’t been used for a while. Packing and mailing the tablet’s going to cost all of $5.25. Well, maybe $10 if he’s in Canada. 😛
May 21st, 2012 at 11:37 pm
Wallet, not so deep;
Pre-used gifts are, however,
Frugal and loving.
May 21st, 2012 at 11:39 pm
(eh, frugal was meant as a compliment, i.e. not stingy, but rather smartly-spending. Just in case that didn’t get across)
May 22nd, 2012 at 10:11 am
Well, Señor Dinero, that Bamboo is still a quantifiable asset which could be resold for a fair share of the value originally paid. The fact that you would make such an offer to a man that you do not know, even a man so great as our Admiral Firman, is truly in the spirit of generosity.
May 23rd, 2012 at 2:17 am
Philip! I love the offer, you are the BEST! But as it stands I’m inching closer to the necessary funds for a higher end model so I think I will be able to get things in order by beginning of June. It won’t be as big as I’m used to, and it will probably have that rough surface I don’t like, but I’m a big boy and I can get used to it!
Looking forward to digitally drawing again!
May 24th, 2012 at 9:02 am
M ore comics to come
O nly the finest humor
E xistential joke?
May 24th, 2012 at 3:36 pm
Let us not give up
Seize the day; write some poems
One hundred haikus
May 24th, 2012 at 3:42 pm
I move to rename Philip to Señor Bolsa de Dinero, or perhaps Rico McPato. Will anyone second my motion?
May 24th, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Doramjam, I shall
Exert my influences;
Philip! Change your name.
😛
May 25th, 2012 at 7:27 am
We have a tradition ’round here that nicknames stick. Thus, Firman became the Admiral, though that is not his full honoriffic.
May 25th, 2012 at 7:46 am
MOOAAARR comics
(sorry)
May 25th, 2012 at 2:01 pm
I think you mean MOE’AAARR comics 😉
May 25th, 2012 at 2:17 pm
Glad to hear you’re getting an awesome tablet! Hey, have you thought of putting an Amazon Affiliate link on your website? It doesn’t cost you anything, and you get like 10% of whatever we purchase through that link. That would include that tablet you’re buying. Sign up as an Amazon Affiliate and make $20 on your own purchase =)
May 27th, 2012 at 7:55 pm
Brief silences
Descend upon comment rooms;
Whispering haikus.
May 27th, 2012 at 10:06 pm
Happy Me’Moe’rial Day
May 28th, 2012 at 11:02 am
Happy, Me’Moe’rial Day everyone.
May 29th, 2012 at 7:44 am
Scrooge has the right of it. May as well dupe Amazon into giving you a break.
May 30th, 2012 at 7:25 am
Mine own daughter saw her twelfth birthday this weekend. Should Moe attempt to tackle her, I may have to punch his head.
May 30th, 2012 at 10:26 am
Duping Amazon
Strikes me as a bit reckless;
Don’t they have failsafes?
May 30th, 2012 at 10:27 am
A bald white striker
Bum-rushes Fren’s twelve year old;
He ain’t havin’ it.
May 30th, 2012 at 12:24 pm
This comic has been
up for almost the entire
month of Moe’ay
May 30th, 2012 at 2:36 pm
Whoa, I wasn’t talking about duping Amazon! I was talking about using their completely legitimate Affiliate program to link to Amazon. It’s roughly the same as having an ad on your site, but it’s less intrusive because it’s in the form of a link. The link would go to a specific product (say, that tablet he’s buying), but then if you end up buying something else while on Amazon, he still gets around 10%. The writer of http://www.basicinstructions.net just went to part-time on his day job largely because his Amazon Affiliate links were performing well. Just saying, I use Amazon all the time so he’d make at least $20 per month off me alone.
May 31st, 2012 at 12:48 am
Oh! I was unclear.
Sorry Mr. McPato,
For pointing fingers.
May 31st, 2012 at 12:50 am
Roundabout site links
Bring about hefty rewards;
Is Firman aboard?
May 31st, 2012 at 9:58 am
The official topic of May: Moe’s utter destruction of the morale of 12 year old footballers. Film at eleven.
June 1st, 2012 at 7:46 am
My first post of June
I truly have naught to say
Keep checking on Moe!
June 1st, 2012 at 8:44 am
Yay, today is June
Father’s Day coming up soon
Present for Grandpa?
June 2nd, 2012 at 2:15 pm
What present is good?
Gin? Bourbon? Tobacco? Rum?
Southern Gentleman.
June 4th, 2012 at 7:41 am
These gifts are all good.
True marks of refinement and
taste. Grandpa approves!
June 6th, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Talk grinds to a halt.
Lack of words blankets the site;
Where have we all gone?
June 7th, 2012 at 7:32 am
I check here daily
Yet my words were the last seen
Where have you been, friend?
June 7th, 2012 at 8:48 am
Happy Norwegian Union Dissolution Day!
June 7th, 2012 at 8:50 am
Today is also the birthday of Hitler’s dad. That’s right. I am officially invoking Godwin’s law.
June 7th, 2012 at 10:39 am
That show Game of Thrones,
I am enamoured by it;
Distraction from posts.
June 8th, 2012 at 4:05 am
Recently built a
new PC; Troubles with it
irritating me.
My form of haiku,
The quality has decreased;
Recent practice: none.
June 8th, 2012 at 7:35 am
Carp, the Game of Thrones show came out quite well! Granted, they got off the rails from the books a bit, but eh. Dramatic license, I suppose. Still, fun to have faces to put to your favorite characters from the books. I’ll say nothing of plots, as the shows have not caught up to the books and I wish not to spoil anything.
(Couldn’t fit that bit into a haiku, I have not your gift for the form)
Ton … what problems niggle at you? Perhaps a troubleshooting brainstorm can commence?
June 8th, 2012 at 1:15 pm
I agree with Fren
Although I’ve not read the books.
Game of Thrones is rad.
June 9th, 2012 at 2:10 pm
Game of Thrones is great.
Watch it slowly, more than once.
Books not yet finished.
June 9th, 2012 at 3:51 pm
I finished the show
Probably far too quickly;
Two seasons, three days.
June 10th, 2012 at 5:10 pm
Now I find a void:
Where I once watched Game of Thrones
I now do nothing.
June 10th, 2012 at 5:12 pm
Of either season
I’ve finished all episodes;
A dark hole is left.
June 10th, 2012 at 5:14 pm
Perhaps there’s a way!
Arrested Development –
I’ll re-watch my faves.
June 10th, 2012 at 5:15 pm
Alternatively
I’ll do work in my art-book
And fill up my blog.
June 10th, 2012 at 7:53 pm
It’s been a long time.
How have you been? I’ve been real
Busy being dead.
Lol. Can’t wait for more Moe! Good luck, Firman! 😀
June 10th, 2012 at 8:07 pm
What it do, Rahi.
Good too see more haikuists
Coming out to post.
June 11th, 2012 at 1:54 am
Compulsion to write:
Syllabic formatting tight –
Haiku in the night.
June 11th, 2012 at 3:05 am
Admiral Firman
He is busy and yet silent.
We miss you, Sea Sir
June 11th, 2012 at 5:49 pm
Nothing new to say;
Frittering the time away –
Haiku in the day.
June 12th, 2012 at 2:17 am
Living through a time
Of comics, nary a sign;
In sadness, forced rhyme.
June 12th, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Soccer match: one game.
No takebacks, no rematches.
Winner gets jetpack.
June 14th, 2012 at 4:30 am
(Haikus are so hard)
June 14th, 2012 at 9:38 am
Haiku, what time zone are you in? You’re always posting *SO* early!
June 14th, 2012 at 9:49 am
Here’s a nonsensical haiku where each line is an anagram of “Firman Productions”.
Fins mount a ripcord
A prism unfit condor
Confound a rim strip
June 14th, 2012 at 2:43 pm
Doraman, the ante,
He has upped with anagram.
Hard, is the new simple.
June 14th, 2012 at 2:44 pm
(And to explain Doramjan, I’m just up -really- late in some cases)
June 15th, 2012 at 3:42 am
Combined forms appear –
Anagramatic scrabbling
Wins all internets.
CAW.
Maybe oranges eat,
Or edible marmalades
Eagerly munch oats.
MOE.
With limited space,
Patterns can be tortuous.
But they are so fun!
June 15th, 2012 at 12:23 pm
Hunger-driven post;
I desperately need food
And yet here I am.
June 15th, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Salmon and brown rice
Makes for a meal somewhat slight;
Healthiness in spades.
June 15th, 2012 at 2:40 pm
Look on as we near
A familiar milestone;
One hundred comments.
June 15th, 2012 at 3:34 pm
Ninety-six comments
Carp comments prodigiously
See the chart below:
http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/9959/moecommentsupto96.png
(seriously, Carp seems to account for a third of the comments!)
June 15th, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Woah, that chart is cool!
But now there are ninety-eight
comments, it’s old news.
June 15th, 2012 at 4:38 pm
When will Lord Firman
give more word regarding the
Return of Moeseph?
June 15th, 2012 at 5:18 pm
And here’s one hundred.
Guess I’ll keep on increasing
My slice of Dor’s pie.
June 16th, 2012 at 11:51 am
Doramjan has pie.
Pie is good and quite tasty.
You will buy the pie!
June 17th, 2012 at 1:34 am
THIS COMIC PLEASES ME IN SO MANY WAYS
June 17th, 2012 at 3:04 am
This specific one?
Or do you mean overall?
False dichotomy?
June 17th, 2012 at 8:49 pm
A Happy Father’s Day
To one and all – here and there.
Even those not dad, yet.
June 18th, 2012 at 8:16 am
Hark! My slice of pie
Is yet still formidable.
Better can be done.
June 18th, 2012 at 1:02 pm
There once was a Dope from Nantucket
Who had no body hair cuz he pluck’t it
His absence was long
But the memory strong
Joy delayed cuz a dead tablet said …….
June 19th, 2012 at 4:07 am
Dora man jam.
June 19th, 2012 at 7:30 am
Our grand Admiral
out to sea, hunting tablets.
Keep the light burning!
June 19th, 2012 at 11:47 pm
Fren is right, he is.
Once five hundred comments here.
Maybe a thousand.
June 20th, 2012 at 4:22 am
Ok, I’ll give in
And try to post more haikus
While we wait around.
June 20th, 2012 at 12:17 pm
Not much time is left
For comment number records
Moe should be here soon
June 20th, 2012 at 12:59 pm
Guidance from Firman
Oh what joy; rapturous day!
More Moe coming soon
June 20th, 2012 at 9:52 pm
If there is a time
For spamming the poetry,
Now is that season.
June 20th, 2012 at 9:58 pm
If the Admiral
Is close as indicated,
Records may not break! 😮
June 20th, 2012 at 10:56 pm
Annoying emote.
Intended as colon with
A lowercase o.
June 21st, 2012 at 6:06 am
But do smileys count
As a syllable, verse-wise?
The mind must ponder.
June 21st, 2012 at 10:23 am
Pictorial haikus
And all their implications:
Beyond my mind’s grasp.
June 21st, 2012 at 11:15 am
I shall aid you all
In your comments record quest
First haiku, engage!
June 21st, 2012 at 5:57 pm
Two sides to the moe-ry
A 😮 does not count since
no syllables are pronounced.
It would make no sense.
My mind stops for 😮
A syllable it must be
To keep the rhythm.
June 21st, 2012 at 9:54 pm
‘Moe’re important still,
Do you add to the count with
Past tense -ed (dash ee dee)?
June 22nd, 2012 at 4:04 am
Got home late again
Been out drinking at the bars
Moe worship: no bounds
June 22nd, 2012 at 4:04 am
Inebriation
Is never a hindrance when
Worshipping comics.
June 22nd, 2012 at 4:05 am
(except for that one time, when I posted a haiku with a six-syllable line)
June 22nd, 2012 at 4:30 am
You can’t stop the flow
When it comes talking Moe
And the comments grow
By the way, you know
Inebriation will show
The place you must go
When you become free
Of shackles you cannot see
You can clearly flee
And just like a flea
Go for a free ride with me
‘Cause I’m the D.D.
With booze still in tow
(Assuming there is no row)
We can check on Bo.
I’m not sure how well that goes… I make no claims for the sense made in this comment, as I’m half-asleep. But it is a limerick of rhyming haikus.
June 22nd, 2012 at 6:21 am
A limerick of rhyming haikus! Dang.
Postmodern supra-rhyming meta-verse! You show
How creativity, sparked by despair, will grow:
Such thoughts were ne’er yet thought when Shakespeare sang.
Each verse pierces the silence. Each a pang,
That brings back to our minds what we miss so.
This haiku-versified long wait for Moe
Has turned sad fans into a poet gang.
Shall I compare it to a polar night?
So long and dark. Has it been months, or years?
No Moe, no more. Just moe’aning, mourning, fears.
There’s just this tiny hope that gives us light:
That one day Hunk’s great match may still begin.
Football! (The game where jetpacks always win.)
June 22nd, 2012 at 1:33 pm
Hark! Message received.
Prepare for the Admiral.
Hopes rise! Moe ahoy!
June 22nd, 2012 at 3:16 pm
Indeed, Fren, news came,
Complete with mention of Moe.
Endless excitement!
Continued hopes arise,
Rocketman takes the skies,
Ensuring quite the blast
Among the motley cast –
Moe treats us to a surprise!
(Everybody likes ice cream, right?)
June 22nd, 2012 at 4:46 pm
To’Moe’rrow, and to’Moe’rrow, and to’Moe’rrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded haikus;
And all our yesterdays have lighted foo’s
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Moe is a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an Admiral, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
June 23rd, 2012 at 3:50 am
(Such sick beats always make me jealous with pride. If someone could be jealous with pride, which I am)
June 23rd, 2012 at 12:53 pm
Friends, post fast and often.
The Admiral’s ship appears.
Distant horizon
Far now, too soon near
What treasures will he bring us?
Great fanfare, quickly!
Post banners and flags
Write haikus and rap sick beats.
Admiral brings Moe.
June 23rd, 2012 at 12:53 pm
(Dang it…that could have been three posts right there)
June 23rd, 2012 at 3:10 pm
I, too, feel that sting.
Frequently my posts could split.
Flow matters, too, though.
June 23rd, 2012 at 5:53 pm
I came here to offer
morose sentiment and doom.
I discover hope.
(Would be great if haiku’s here couldn’t be rounded up and published, even if just online. Except mine.)
June 24th, 2012 at 2:38 am
(I think it would be a legal nightmare but I’d be super happy if our haikus made it into the future Moe Collection. Or ‘Moe’llection)
June 24th, 2012 at 3:05 am
My profile stays low
To let other writers shine
While I break from posts.
June 24th, 2012 at 3:07 am
Actually, not true;
Lacking posts stem from low stores
Of creative thought.
June 24th, 2012 at 3:40 am
Inspiration hunt:
Listening to Miles Davis,
Jazz-inspired haikus?
June 24th, 2012 at 1:16 pm
Posts about non-posts
Lead to an influx of posts;
I’ve re-found my muse.
June 24th, 2012 at 11:09 pm
One hundred forty
Will be the comment count soon –
With the next reply!
June 25th, 2012 at 3:48 am
First day of the week
One hundred forty comments
Comfort in numbers
June 25th, 2012 at 2:04 pm
Numbers can be higher.
Greater – larger than once before.
Plus plus one again.
June 25th, 2012 at 4:00 pm
O be sure, O Man of Fir, riff on A‘Moe’r—use Bo.
June 25th, 2012 at 6:00 pm
(Oh the stakes have been raised…)
June 25th, 2012 at 10:27 pm
A new sort of praise
Heralded by the last post;
Palindrome glory.
June 26th, 2012 at 3:08 am
Palindromes are hard.
I remain unskilled at them,
Though they cause delight.
June 26th, 2012 at 6:23 am
Palindrome. Wow!
June 26th, 2012 at 8:14 am
Away, I have been
My work takes me to many
places about town.
June 26th, 2012 at 8:15 am
Also, palindromes now?! Oi! I just start getting used to haikus and now you up the stakes …
June 26th, 2012 at 10:22 am
Go hang a salami, I’m a lasagna hog
My favorite palindrome (credit to Weird Al)
June 26th, 2012 at 11:48 am
Sei? Poo? Poo poop oop poo! Poo poo! Poopies!
June 26th, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Palindrome, haiku.
Combined as one—as combined
Haiku-palindrome.
June 26th, 2012 at 1:05 pm
Bro’s in prison? No sir. P.N.* is orb.
*Planet Nethergatory
June 26th, 2012 at 1:24 pm
Palindr’Moe’, kudos. You came out of nowhere and dominated our peaceful haiku existence!
June 26th, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Thanks all, for the kind welcome. I like that the fun continues here, even when the (most excellent) comic does not.
Doramjan and Nimz, please do not be offended if Fren and Carp are mentioned in upcoming lines before you are (or choose more wordsmith-friendly nicknames!).
And as long as I’m soliciting help (in prose no less): Firman, how about an upcoming story arc with Moe shopping for new eco-friendly transportation in a fictional New England town? Would you be sinking to low to grant me something like that?
June 26th, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Difficult haiku
Is that palindrome that is
Haiku—difficult!
June 26th, 2012 at 4:27 pm
Admiral’s Nadir
(by haiku). Kia hybrid?
Anslarid, MA.
June 26th, 2012 at 4:29 pm
Argh. After all that setup, I had two letters switched. (Why is it that things like that are only easy to see right *after* posting?)
June 26th, 2012 at 6:36 pm
The effort is what matters.
June 26th, 2012 at 7:37 pm
Quoting from Wayne’s World
We’re not worthy, Palindr
Moe. We’re not worthy.
Seriously, amazing work man. I am in awe
June 26th, 2012 at 11:22 pm
Palindromes are like
Having your eyes crossed for two
Sentences; what fun!
(Unless Mum was right, an’ me eyes stay like that forever…)
June 27th, 2012 at 7:51 am
Ai, ai. It’s silly when you think of it … Fren is but Nerf, backward. Plenty of fodder for the works of the palindramaticly inclined.
We all play our parts.
June 27th, 2012 at 11:09 am
Adaptable name
Serves as grist for the post mill;
“Fren” enables thought.
June 27th, 2012 at 4:50 pm
While I wait for Moe,
Other comics hold my sights;
Krazy Kat is great.
June 27th, 2012 at 4:55 pm
I’d break from haiku
Were I not a romantic;
It’s this poet’s love.
June 27th, 2012 at 4:56 pm
See my dreams and hopes,
That Moe should be immortal;
Sculpted in marble.
June 27th, 2012 at 5:00 pm
Espy a skyman;
Whence does he come? What planet?
One of soccer matches.
June 27th, 2012 at 6:12 pm
Carp: so prolific;
With syllables, pedantic;
Nothing like a fish.
June 27th, 2012 at 6:57 pm
So many comments
Passing the time ’til new Moe
An updated chart
http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/1531/moecomments.png
June 27th, 2012 at 10:51 pm
I fetishize charts,
Although I miss the colours;
Farewell to thee, pie.
:'(
June 28th, 2012 at 12:16 am
That has to be the world’s first haiku ever to use the word “fetishize”.
June 28th, 2012 at 12:50 am
The comment numbered
One hundred seventy one
Is herein described.
June 28th, 2012 at 1:07 am
Haikus with some self-
Referentiality
Give such a delight.
It’s similar to
Let’s say, “palindromality”,
But simpler to write.
June 28th, 2012 at 1:10 am
I wrote the word “uhm”
Miscounted the syllables;
Botched it with “let’s say”.
June 28th, 2012 at 1:42 am
Haiku errors flow
Throughout an old site histoire;
And fade from our minds.
June 28th, 2012 at 1:51 am
Words like winter snow
The page, a poet’s grimoire
Check out my forced rhymes.
June 28th, 2012 at 1:52 am
(I mean, the first line rhymes with the first, the second with the second… you can probably figure it out I guess. I’m just babbling in these parentheses)
June 28th, 2012 at 3:50 am
Such a pretty curve.
Doramjan, your chart is good,
Even if not pie.
June 28th, 2012 at 3:56 am
I will try my hand
At a palindrome with Nimz
Included therein…
Na: buzz mint at Nimz’ zuban.
Not sure why I have a super expensive cigar from the future, nor do I know what sodium has to do with it.
¯\(º.o)/¯
June 28th, 2012 at 4:04 am
Perhaps sodium (Na)
Should be “Not Applicable” (N/A)
From non-existence.
Of such a rare cigar in my possession, that is.
June 28th, 2012 at 7:54 am
Palindr’moe’ – not only is a carp a sort of fish. Carp is also a verb! It means “to complain in a fretful manner”. However, our dear friend Carp hardly seems the sort to complain. Those fretful chidings are turned aside and given greater form, higher purpose. Tally ho, poets!
June 28th, 2012 at 8:02 am
And alas, the chart. Gone are the simple days of pie. We have graduated to the bar.
June 28th, 2012 at 10:33 am
The colorful pie chart is back! Mmmmmm, pie
http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/1200/moecounts.jpg
June 28th, 2012 at 11:04 am
That’s no pie, that’s a fruitcake ( and we’re the nuts xD )… unless the cake is a pie!
June 28th, 2012 at 11:55 am
When he smoked a cigar that was Cuban,
Nimz’ breath got too bad for kazoo band.
To my Hindi friend, Na,
For whom “zuban” means “craw”,
I said, “Na, buzz mint at Nimz’ zuban!”
June 28th, 2012 at 12:09 pm
oh my god that was amazing
June 28th, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Creative acmes
Surpassed by poems, many;
Let’s keep this going!
June 28th, 2012 at 12:12 pm
Chart seems not like pie;
A resemblance to donuts
Instead strikes my eye.
June 28th, 2012 at 2:43 pm
Moving north to south
Chilly winds turning warmer
My train leaves Sunday.
For ten hours or more
May I meet a conductor
To call admiral.
What are the odds now
During the heat of summer
To espy such genius?
-Allright, back to your thematic haiku-esque palindrome-limericks you crazy kids.
June 28th, 2012 at 5:42 pm
Moe is sick of waiting. I think the long delay is getting to him…
goo.gl/cxBRT
June 28th, 2012 at 7:26 pm
Yet another chart
Showing how many comments
That each strip received
http://img535.imageshack.us/img535/1953/moecommenthistory.png
Turns out that the most commented on strip was strip 360 with _491_ comments! Surely we can do better. We’re not even up to 200 yet! Everyone do your part and chip in a comment!
http://www.firmanproductions.com/?p=695
June 28th, 2012 at 7:45 pm
This silly haiku
Has seventeen syllables
And fifty letters.
June 28th, 2012 at 8:22 pm
Not many haikus
Have seventeen syllables
And fifty letters.
June 28th, 2012 at 11:31 pm
‘Twas a grand haiku
Of seventeen syllables
And fifty letters.
June 28th, 2012 at 11:54 pm
Carp’s haiku also
Has seventeen syllables
And fifty letters.
June 29th, 2012 at 12:01 am
Expecting a few;
I now see it ‘moe’ clearly.
The truth is now shown:
Too many haikus
Have seventeen syllables
And fifty letters.
June 29th, 2012 at 1:06 am
lol
June 29th, 2012 at 1:36 am
Um pexie so,
Conversa duas linguas;
Haikus nas duas.
June 29th, 2012 at 1:37 am
(hella trickier doing those in Portuguese, it’s like that language is rigged with extra syllables)
June 29th, 2012 at 1:51 am
(Wow–Portuguese!)
June 29th, 2012 at 2:32 am
The comments stand at
One hundred and ninety nine
Next up: two hundred.
June 29th, 2012 at 3:08 am
Looks like I’ll swing by
And nab the Two Hundred Crown
Though we’ve all earned it.
June 29th, 2012 at 6:59 am
Se quiser nadar
Ou talvez so queixar-se
Podia ser “carp”.
If you want to swim
Or maybe only complain
You could be a “carp”.
June 29th, 2012 at 7:08 am
Lingua portuguesa—
Palavras tão bonitas
Cantam à alma.
The Portuguese tongue—
With words of such rare beauty
They sing to my soul.
June 29th, 2012 at 7:28 am
[Frankly, I seem to quite like the elegance I find when composing a haiku, (our Anglicized notion of haiku anyway), in Portuguese. The prevalence of additional syllables compared to English enhances the sparseness of each line.
Meanwhile, I’m still trying to figure out how to correctly count syllables. A word such as “peixe” is pronounced with two obvious syllables in many parts of Brazil. But I’m more inclined to hear “peixe” in the Lisbon accent I prefer, with the second syllable so poorly vocalized I would be inclined to count this word as one syllable.
Finally, for fun, I put several of the above examples through Google translate. It makes me want to find a Google engineer to convince to implement haiku detection on the input and try to preserve syllable counts on the output. The current result is already remarkably close in several cases.]
June 29th, 2012 at 7:30 am
Ever higher shall
we make our pile; Comment on
with haiku and prose!
June 29th, 2012 at 7:32 am
Alas, my portion.
My slice of donut grows small.
More effort, more, more.
June 29th, 2012 at 8:14 am
A cair-te, Moe. Geometria, cá!
[Roughly “You’re making yourself fall, Moe. Geometry, here!”. Perhaps what Moe’s Portuguese aunt yelled to him when he was neglecting his studies?
And yes, it should be “estas a cair-te” and even then I don’t know how much of a stretch it is to use cair reflexively like this. Perhaps all is fair in love and palindromes?]
June 29th, 2012 at 9:35 am
Furu ike ya
Kawazu tobikomu
Mizu no oto
– ‘Moe’atsuo Bashou (1686)
June 29th, 2012 at 12:08 pm
(Hey look! A fellow Portuguese speaker. What’s up, Palindr’moe’!
I don’t claim to be fluent in the language or anything, and as you said, it’s tricky counting syllables when thinking geographical pronunciation differences – I am 100% terrible at understanding and speaking Portugal Portuguese, which I understand occasionally involves curtailing the last syllable of some words.
I’m not saying haikus are any easier in your favoured dialect because of that, but it must be weird [it is for me] to read each other’s haikus and think, “Hmmm… that’s one syllable too many,” or vice versa.
And alas, my Portuguese is pretty rusty; I doubt my ability to twist around words like I might in English. Although who knows! Maybe the Portuguese haiku will make another appearance in my posts! Also, as an aside, I’ve never read any Portuguese poetry of any form.)
June 29th, 2012 at 1:03 pm
(Hi there, Carp.
It was quite funny to wake up this morning and find a haiku in Portuguese. It almost felt like a setup, since that’s coincidentally the only (non-computer) language I have any familiarity with other than English. My experience with Portuguese involved living in Portugal for two years, then taking a one-semester course at college. But that was 16 years ago, so it’s definitely pretty rusty now.
I also haven’t read any Portuguese poetry. But I do have some works by Fernando Pessoa on a long list I maintain of books that I want to read at some point. It’s interesting to note that he also published poems that he composed in English—definitely quite a challenge to do that in a non-native language.
Anyway, back to our irregularly-scheduled programming.)
June 29th, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Backwards and forwards
And bilingual poems
Gaze ‘pon our Moe praise.
June 29th, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Actually, let me edit that:
Backwards and forwards
Bilingual poems, too;
Gaze on our Moe praise.
June 29th, 2012 at 1:20 pm
int main (int argc,
char *argv) { printf (“Hello, ”
“world”); return 0; }
June 29th, 2012 at 2:09 pm
Palindr’moe’, why were you in Portugal for 2 years?
June 29th, 2012 at 2:11 pm
This makes me want to make a Russian or Armenian haiku . . .
June 29th, 2012 at 2:41 pm
Doramjan, I was there as a missionary for The Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints.
June 29th, 2012 at 2:42 pm
Praise Moe! Our on-gaze
Too. Poems: bilingual,
Forwards and backwards.
June 29th, 2012 at 3:34 pm
Palindr’moe’, this is the last place I would have expected to run into someone else who is LDS
June 29th, 2012 at 3:56 pm
#include
using namespace std;
int main() { cout << "Hi.";
cout << " Here is a"
<< " C++ version haiku."
<< " Whew! "; return 0; }
June 29th, 2012 at 3:59 pm
Oops, I can’t show iostream inside single angle brackets in the first line. Oh well.
#include iostream
June 29th, 2012 at 11:14 pm
Давай пробуем
Писать хайку на Русском
Почему бы нет?
June 30th, 2012 at 12:14 am
Script code and Russian
Are practices far afield
From those which I know.
June 30th, 2012 at 12:17 am
Nonetheless, I’m pleased
Within my poetic niche;
Unique talents, all.
June 30th, 2012 at 4:37 am
Quand je parle français,
Je ne comprends rien!
Où sont les canards?
June 30th, 2012 at 4:38 am
* translation *
When I speak in french,
I don’t understand nothin’!
Where did the ducks go?
July 1st, 2012 at 10:27 pm
Momentum don’t stop!
We have goals and I will help.
Your talents so great.
July 1st, 2012 at 11:26 pm
I had a good one,
But it dissolved on typing.
Aborted poem.
July 2nd, 2012 at 12:36 am
Worked twelve hours today –
the strain has stifled my ideas,
and yet here I am.
July 2nd, 2012 at 1:14 am
It’s good to be here,
Especially after work.
Friendly names abound.
July 2nd, 2012 at 3:09 am
We are family
Much like Bo, Moe, and Grandpa
Oh, wait. Never mind.
July 2nd, 2012 at 8:58 am
Powerless; Friday
the lights went out, and did not
return ’til Monday.
July 2nd, 2012 at 11:00 am
Newsflash. Moe has power.
He can make light from darkness.
Does that seem right, Fren?
July 2nd, 2012 at 11:31 am
Am-I-Smart-Enough
Eponymously answers
Affirmatively.
July 2nd, 2012 at 11:33 am
Doramjan, thanks to
LDS mission service?
Russian haikuist.
July 2nd, 2012 at 11:34 am
Carp claims ignorance
Of various languages;
Keeps writing haikus.
July 2nd, 2012 at 11:36 am
Meditatively,
Nimz, in French and in English,
Ponders migration.
July 2nd, 2012 at 11:38 am
Creator of trend?
Haiku, seeking family,
Lives up to own name.
July 2nd, 2012 at 11:41 am
Fren’s weekend ordeal,
Without illumination
Provides inspiration.
July 2nd, 2012 at 11:46 am
Thus, Palindr‘moe’,
After weekend hiatus,
Sends kudos to friends.
July 2nd, 2012 at 10:48 pm
It shall never come
To pass: creativity
Extinguished; keen minds–
Plentiful in these
Fine posts all; not even my
Dread can diminish.
July 2nd, 2012 at 11:06 pm
Worked another twelve;
I need a vacation, but
will settle for posts.
July 2nd, 2012 at 11:53 pm
Blurred vision through eyes;
Limbs weary and bones dreary;
This worker craves rest.
July 2nd, 2012 at 11:55 pm
Alternative ed.
of the above haiku, with
a rejigged first line:
Sight blurred, eyes bleary;
Limbs weary, and bones dreary
This worker craves rest.
(couldn’t settle on which I preferred more)
July 2nd, 2012 at 11:56 pm
(I think the second version has a more interesting rhythm, though)
July 3rd, 2012 at 12:06 am
(I think you need rest)
July 3rd, 2012 at 12:27 am
Tired poet’s self-law:
Lean in, hear me speak five words:
I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
July 3rd, 2012 at 12:52 am
Is anyone here
who happens to be a fan
of Weird Al as well?
July 3rd, 2012 at 12:53 am
Carp’s latest haiku
reminded me of the song
“Mellow When I’m Dead.”
July 3rd, 2012 at 12:53 am
(The song is really
“I’ll Be Mellow When I’m Dead,”
on his first album.)
July 3rd, 2012 at 1:57 am
I have yet to hear
A Weird Al song I don’t like.
No connoisseur, though.
July 3rd, 2012 at 2:08 am
I was just looking at some of the older comments and noticed that EVERY Moe comic in June 2012 was about how much Moe hates Mondays & how much he wants some coffee! ( I’m referring to this, btw: http://www.firmanproductions.com/?p=749#comment-8313 ). We’re still here, and…
For all of zero,
An Admiral forgiven.
Logically sound.
(* crossing fingers that the hypertext markup works as expected *)
July 3rd, 2012 at 2:19 am
Markup successful!
‘Moe’st commented comic? No.
Halfway to record.
July 3rd, 2012 at 3:18 am
Can’t believe how much
I posted on the record.
Stepped my game up since.
July 3rd, 2012 at 3:19 am
I wasn’t doing
haikus then, either. Quite a
surreal moment.
July 3rd, 2012 at 4:45 am
Just finished reading.
Damn, that comment thread is long.
More threads read later.
July 3rd, 2012 at 7:50 am
Not only so long
But many quality posts
Prose, so long and sweet.
July 3rd, 2012 at 8:47 am
Throughout all of June,
Moe craved coffee, not Monday—
A vacuous truth.
July 3rd, 2012 at 11:42 am
Nimz: Enter command.
You are not sure what this means.
You post a haiku.
July 3rd, 2012 at 12:23 pm
Now, video games:
Plumber brothers eat mushrooms
Fireball, save Princess
July 3rd, 2012 at 12:25 pm
Simon and his whip
Timeless hunt for Dracula
Slaying the undead
July 3rd, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Thousand points of death.
Viridian saves his crew.
Letter V six times.
July 3rd, 2012 at 1:47 pm
Collect those rings, dude!
You must defeat the eggman,
Sonic the hedgehog.
July 3rd, 2012 at 1:50 pm
Stealth pilot needed:
Can you fly the F-19
Without detection?
July 3rd, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Illegal racing –
Your motorcycle is wrecked!
You still got first place!?
(In Road Rash II I learned the hard way that if the bike was damaged to where I couldn’t tell if it would blow up or not, especially when very close to the finish line, it is far better to run through the finish line than to chance it.)
July 3rd, 2012 at 2:12 pm
I don’t think it’s by chance that Palindr’Moe’ crafted a haiku about a video game with a paldinromic name (VVVVVV).
July 3rd, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Banished to the depths
By voice of God in Mom’s ear;
Binding of Isaac.
July 3rd, 2012 at 4:04 pm
Once upon a ‘Moe’night dreary, while we waited, weak and weary,
Waiting for the Firman’s update, some new comic news of Moe,
While we waited, ever pining, passing time by words combining,
Oftentimes 5-7-5ing, lining haikus praising Moe.
‘Tis no substitute, for certain, lining haikus praising Moe;
We have this and nothing ‘moe’.
With the pile of comments growing, words from keyboards ever flowing,
Charts with colors nearly glowing now appear in comment flow.
Pies and donuts, appetizing, represent with slice’s sizing,
Commenters most enterprising, seeking but to honor Moe.
For the vain, conceited reader cannot bear the wait for Moe,
And from them we hear no ‘moe’.
Jetpack hunk with soccer matches, Eliot’s interest briefly catches,
Turning—yearning for another player condescends to Moe.
Their exchange and clever banter like an advertising banner,
Rests atop my browser window ever as it did befo’e.
No refresh will change that banner—never as it did befo’e,
There it sits, that self-same Moe.
And that comic, never changing, still is hanging, ever hanging,
In my cursed browser window; where despair is growing sore.
And “refresh” I’m ever clicking, but that comic keeps on sticking;
And my clock continues ticking, making dread within me soar;
And the dread my soul can’t stomach, is that one day seeking ‘Moe’r,
I’ll see only 404.
July 3rd, 2012 at 4:13 pm
(With my most sincere apologies to Edgar Allan Poe and to our Admiral as well. I’m more optimistic about the glorious return of Moe than one might surmise from the above. But given the original material, it seemed the poem must end with Moe’s web-comic death.)
July 3rd, 2012 at 8:00 pm
A maths geek pondered,
“Does Moe celebrate pi day?
Maybe variants?”
Pi approximation day (22 July) will soon be upon here.
I wonder how the fates of other Best Pie employees appear.
We know Zane had to be written out (Admiral’s commentary in comic 388).
Did Alicia marry the Malki! clone of Moe’s dreams, or wait!
Did she marry Mr. Cement Bag Head?*
Are her 50 babies staying fed?
I think that’s about all I have for the moment.
There may be more after more archive time spent.
*Would she then be Alicia Cement Bag Head, or just Alicia Head? or would she even change her name at all?
July 3rd, 2012 at 11:54 pm
Long form prose posts place
these poets on pedestals
pure-plain and true.
July 4th, 2012 at 1:26 am
The game I wait for:
Guilds War for the second time;
Anticipated.
(Note: it my head it sounds out as ant-i-ci-pate-d)
July 4th, 2012 at 7:22 pm
(Seriously, I’m intimidated to keep prosing – but prosing I must lest I remain forever at my inhibited level)
(In other news, we are almost to 300! Which is almost to 500! Which is halfway to ONE…THOUSAND)
July 4th, 2012 at 7:22 pm
(What a great gift we can send to the Admiral!)
July 5th, 2012 at 4:53 am
where doing it man
where MAKING THIS HAPEN
July 5th, 2012 at 4:54 am
My apologies;
To resist, I found myself
Unable to do.
July 5th, 2012 at 5:16 am
Inconceivable
Like the taming of blowflies
To break the record
July 5th, 2012 at 5:19 am
I, through utmost haste
To produce something witty
Forgot the full stop.
July 5th, 2012 at 9:29 am
We shall post, and haiku, and forge poetry of both long and short forms. The comments shall rise, ever higher. Perhaps, one day, the gleam of our combined efforts will catch the eyes of gods and admirals.
For us, there is but this. We post. We yearn. Onward, upward.
July 5th, 2012 at 2:18 pm
Until our posts reach
The sky, and then the black void,
Our goal, the Moe’an.
July 5th, 2012 at 2:19 pm
(Or would it better Moe’on? When you sound it out that way it sounds like “Moron”, which fits more closely but doesn’t sound anything like Moon)
July 5th, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Almost two whole months
The next Moe had better be
A really big one.
July 5th, 2012 at 2:54 pm
I’d like to add I
Thouroughly enjoy your work,
Edgar Allan Moe.
July 5th, 2012 at 3:29 pm
Waitin’ builds pressure,
Admiral. Oh, Admiral,
Pressure builds in wait!
July 5th, 2012 at 9:09 pm
E’en a humble Moe,
Three or four panel comic,
Suffices for me.
A big ol’ comic,
Like unto some earlier,
Is nice, not needed.
July 6th, 2012 at 2:17 am
Happy we readers,
If the coming Moe, enlarged
In its length doth be:
Increased are chances
In the comment count stat check
Inching to the top.
July 6th, 2012 at 5:15 am
For doubling record
Using naive projections;
Another two months.
A [most*] frightening thought,
To avoid dull stagnation
We need more verse forms
No proper (useless) analysis I’m afraid.
* depends on how you pronounce frightening
July 6th, 2012 at 9:58 am
Such naïveté!
So beautiful to behold.
Somnambulism.
Wait a second there…
Who is somnambulating?
Why, it’s only me.
Acrostic haiku:
All lines start with same letter.
A nice excercise.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:40 am
I must not have woke
(Acrostic means something else)
When I wrote that verse.
July 6th, 2012 at 11:27 am
Nearing a landmark;
Another drop in the pool
Of our comment count.
July 6th, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Fren’s name, four letters
Reversed are still meaningful,
Ever beckoning.
Never offering
Satisfaction until from
Nimz: “Try acrostic!”
Enigmatic still
Remains the subject… Of course:
Fren’s first soft toy ball.
July 6th, 2012 at 4:43 pm
My most recent verse
Of first letter patterning –
‘Ere today, that is…
Somewhere late in June,
Exact date was twenty two,
Provided ICE CREAM.
How absurd it is,
Present, a fortnight removed,
Only now repeats.
Nay, this method here
To add layers poetic,
Overused is not.
Odes shall be sung loud.
Nethergatorial song,
Dancing with devils.
Only with this din,
Portent of poetry lost,
Eclipsed shall it be.
July 6th, 2012 at 4:43 pm
And with that all done,
By my shrewd calculations,
Complete name haiku’d.
July 6th, 2012 at 6:32 pm
Moeseph Pontoon Dope
The name all anagrammed up:
Poopshoot Demon Neep
July 6th, 2012 at 9:36 pm
Anagrams are fun
ADMIRAL FIRMAN becomes
ANIMAL FARM RID
Great literature
pales in comparison to
the wonders of Moe.
Alternately, AD-
MIRAL FIRMAN becomes MAIL
DR. DARR IF MAN
Contact said doctor
If you find yourself to be
of the masculine.
July 7th, 2012 at 1:35 am
All these crazy sorts
of haikus are beyond me –
Traditionalist.
July 7th, 2012 at 3:31 am
Three hundred, madness?
No, Sparta reference – tired.
Moe can’t kick anyway.
July 7th, 2012 at 10:31 am
Tower of haikus
Reverse-spirals to page depths;
The bottom extends.
July 7th, 2012 at 10:33 am
Three hundred comments
In just under two months’ time:
Prolificacy.
July 7th, 2012 at 10:36 am
Nabbed the two hundredth –
I don’t want to be greedy,
So now I’ll hold back.
July 7th, 2012 at 11:12 am
CCC
July 7th, 2012 at 11:47 am
Latin numerals
Are a flag-post in the ground;
More goals yet to come.
July 7th, 2012 at 11:47 am
Siv*, see sea!** See sea?
Sea, aye, a sea. Siv see I,
Looking back and forth.
*female name
**grammartistic license…or something
July 7th, 2012 at 12:02 pm
Self-referential,
Dependent on post count:
A risky haiku.
There once was a Moe-fan, a swede,
who wrote comments so sadly in need
of a certain position.
Having failed in this mission,
he went back to smoking some herring.
July 7th, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Smoked fish is so good…
Not that I’d eat our friend Carp…
Smoked salmon —> drooling.
Counting in roman numerals,
Creating praise for admirals,
Choose this poem’s first letter
In each line for the better –
Voila! Post count self-referral!
July 7th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
How to smoke herring:
Hold tail end in mouth firmly,
Have matches ready.
Light one match, and then
Lower fish head onto flame.
Last, inhale fine smoke.
July 7th, 2012 at 4:58 pm
O man, Firman, where’s your muse?
Be no sissy, have a go!
Sure as hell, you could draw Bo!
O, put talent to some use.
Man, where has that tablet gone?
Of your comics we want more!
Fir-man, show Moe-Bo-A‘moe‘r,
Riff on, give us fun, come on.
On these pages let us see
A’moe’r, brotherly and pure,
Use your skills, then I am sure
Bo will never cease to be.
O be sure, we beg you so,
No more No-Moe now, you know?
July 7th, 2012 at 4:59 pm
(… plagiarism being the sincerest form of fluffery, as they say, or something like that.)
July 8th, 2012 at 12:07 pm
ayo, check it
Been a few months, Admiral on hiatus
huntin’ round for tablets, damned if the man hate us
Grabbin the Moeseph haters by the throat
Throttle necks like “is Carp a misanthrope?”
Don’t want no haters on M.P Dope
Leave em with no hope
The rest, we stay shining until past dawn and
No rest while we write, poems comin’ out the wrong end
Types of praise reserved for the least reviled
Let the people get riled, let them name their king
Let the king reign (rain) over his kingdom with fists
Let his cartoons flood the streets, they be our grist
The most exalted, the Captain
The salty world-weary veteran
Build for him monuments, vaulted
A new reality, altered
In the meantime, be patient, relax
Over beats slow, kick facts
Drop the dopest, worthiest, wordiest raps
Praisin’ Firman on these raps
As we wait for a new coming, the new attack
carp out
July 8th, 2012 at 12:35 pm
Officer Mallay,
Feared in playgrounds on his beat
When in comic form.
Officer Mallay,
Hear him lay down his sick beats
In comic forum.
July 8th, 2012 at 1:50 pm
Though beets be delicious (and very nutritious), they should be avoided when sick.
I fear Palindr’moe’ may have misread, fo’ sho’, the talented rap-authors nick.
For fishes be laying these beats very well.
The baseline is ever so deep.
Though wiki now tells me they’re freshwater fish(!),
I’ll have to absorb this, then sleep.
July 8th, 2012 at 7:53 pm
Carp has some sick beats,
And a Bass line to go with…
Eclectic, perhaps.
Officer Mallay –
That guy has sick beats as well.
Or had… before death.
A posthumous beat
You can hear beyond the street,
There is no retreat.
July 9th, 2012 at 2:36 am
A heavier beat,
Weighing down a frailbaseline,
With substantial words.
July 9th, 2012 at 2:45 am
Of many facets,
Do cultures consist (hip-hop),
I’m bad at tagging.
< I could see,
> I could comprehend,
Unlike POSIX |’s
July 9th, 2012 at 4:37 am
Lines written from beyond the grave, in the voice of a hell-guard fiend on Nethergatory, formerly a corrupt police officer while still alive.
Writing a goddamn sonnet isn’t easy.
“Shall I compare thee to a fat old tosser?
Thou art more ugly, Moe, and also grosser.”
Oh man, I do hate poetry. So cheesy.
This whole rhyme-smithing story makes me queazy.
I can’t believe they did this to me. Bother!
And just for that dumb Moe guy’s little brother!
(Oh f… it, why the hell is there no feasi-
-ble rhyme here? See? Now this has spoiled my stanza.)
Why did they make me write these stupid verses?
This task must be the worst of Satan’s curses.
My mind is not a poetry bonanza!
And come to think of it that all of that
Is just because we let escape that brat!
July 9th, 2012 at 4:46 am
Officer Mallay,
Punished for neglect of guard,
Writes enforced sonnets.
Officer Mallay,
Dead, cranky hater of Moe,
Can’t think of haikus.
July 9th, 2012 at 8:16 am
Friends, relax yourselves. The Admiral shall return to his work, in his own time. Unless we are prepared to offer him a living, we need to respect his absence as a thing of necessity.
Exercise, have a drink, meditate, pray the shema over and over if you must. Just relax! Moe shall return to we, the faithful. Post on!
July 9th, 2012 at 2:09 pm
A long absence now,
Waiting for Michael Firman;
My favorite site.
July 9th, 2012 at 9:35 pm
Weeks hence, about one,
At whence I have spent two months
Serial reading.
And it’s plentiful –
Serial reading, that is –
Here in the comments.
Above haiku pair
Acrostically relating
A mascot for Moe
(The phoenix bird is
what I’m getting at… not sure
if that’s clear sans note.)
July 9th, 2012 at 9:38 pm
But for an edit
Button to insert a mark
Interrogative.
(A mascot for Moe?)
July 10th, 2012 at 12:26 am
Quincunx, syzygy,
unidentifiable.
Sesquipedalism!
(please count -ism as one syllable)
July 10th, 2012 at 12:33 am
Any fans here of
“Uh-oh, it’s a Dinosaur”
or am I alone?
July 10th, 2012 at 2:39 am
Dinosaur unknown.
Is he friendly? Is he terror?
Thunder lizard rex.
July 10th, 2012 at 3:45 am
One point five foot words
For all but two opposed signs:
Could not find good name.
What word for someone
In the act of bicycling?
Birotastrian!*
*I did not coin this word.
July 10th, 2012 at 7:30 am
A lack of fresh ideas, here. Yet still, one more for the pile.
July 10th, 2012 at 10:26 am
Nimz brings the large words;
Not neologisms, but
Clever anyways.
July 10th, 2012 at 11:31 am
Am I smart enough?
Is the one that started it.
I shortened those words.
Sesquipedal can
Be read from its roots as
One and a half feet.
Quincunx has two defs.:
The pattern of dots on dice
For the number five,
Quincunx number 2:
The arc in the sky that sweeps
Five constellations.
Syzygy also
Has zodiacal meaning:
Opposite star signs.
July 10th, 2012 at 5:11 pm
Honorifica-
bilitudinitati-
bus. Shakespear’s longest.
July 10th, 2012 at 7:21 pm
Three cents, twenty eight.
First prime to second’s power,
forty and one times.
Three comments, in time,
Whether grimy or sublime,
Yields a Cuban prime.
Now back to the regularly scheduled program.
July 10th, 2012 at 9:52 pm
I’m not sure I understand
How a number can command
Citizenship of its own.
Like the two nappes of a cone,
Import may be contraband.
July 11th, 2012 at 3:03 am
Moe plays child football
For months, not yet a year – still
He can never win.
July 11th, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Have we talked, Moe?
You are round and white like…like
Well, a soccer ball.
July 11th, 2012 at 2:19 pm
Humanity drawn in critical daylight,
simplicity dawns, as us dullards might
observe it.
Moe is us and we are Moe,
in that we wish, of order, to
disturb it.
We tell ourselves from Moe to learn,
some things through which we well may earn
perspective
But football-head or basketball,
it seems to be what I would call,
subjective.
July 11th, 2012 at 4:40 pm
Haiku, I agree! I noticed the Moe-soccer ball similarity back on May 9th!
July 11th, 2012 at 7:12 pm
Instead of making another pie or donut chart, I present Super Moe’rio Brothers Alpha Version -0.02
(I hope the markup works!)
July 12th, 2012 at 1:12 am
Hypertext markup works. Moe has the jumps, but not so much the kicks. Is this a foreshadowing of his football (soccer) performance? Is there currently any objective in Super Moe’rio Brothers Alpha besides jumping around and exploring? Any plans for Bo to join the action in Beta? It’s pretty sweet already, I must say.
July 12th, 2012 at 1:16 am
Also, now the count
Matches the number of hours
In one full fortnight.
July 12th, 2012 at 2:22 am
On top of Old S‘Moe’key,
‘Mid haikus and prose,
My poem lost its meaning
When I posted too slow.
The sick beats I referenced,
(With too much delay),
Indeed were those penned by
Officer Mallay.
But Carp, so prolific,
With beats just as sick,
Debuted his long-form skills,
And posted it quick.
Baxarn, of all people,
Should not be surprised;
He had the same problem
With post CCI.
So come ye young poets,
Listen to my wish,
Type and click very quickly,
And look out for that fish.
On top of Old S‘Moe’key,
‘Mid haikus and prose,
My poem lost its meaning
When I posted too slow.
[Feel free to substitute “her” for “his” and “she” for “he”, etc. as necessary in the above. It’s unfortunate that the constraints of English make me guess at gender here, (and interaction over the internet affords few clues to improve the guessing).]
July 12th, 2012 at 2:29 am
Nimz, there isn’t really a goal or objective yet. I just wanted to see if I could make Moe walk around and look decent. I’ll try to do more complex stuff as I get time
I’m totally open to suggestions!
July 12th, 2012 at 2:29 am
I was going to do some kind of sounds, but I’m not even sure what Moe’s voice would sound like
July 12th, 2012 at 3:02 am
Posts with some big words
Make me want to keep words small
But still use all glyphs.
Best Pie Love: Moe, Zane
Watch you eat soup. “Goat cheese?”, “‘Kay”.
X-Box? Just quit? Fired!
Would you look at that;
Here, three lines of small words have
All from A to Z.
July 12th, 2012 at 3:08 am
Please pardon me while a let a few words out of my system now:
syllables
letters
pangram
There, that feels better.
I did have to check closely before realizing that “Am I smart enough?” hadn’t written a pangram with the “Quincunx” haiku. It’s remarkably close if merely accidental.
July 12th, 2012 at 7:34 am
Oh, Captain. Our man, the
Admiral, still out at sea.
Treasures await us.
July 12th, 2012 at 12:12 pm
Treasures are here – now!
Moe jumps and explores – high, low
Yet, he finds nothing
July 12th, 2012 at 12:15 pm
Like our real life Moe.
Dora-m-jan, a wizard true
Cast Moe into action
July 12th, 2012 at 12:16 pm
Only to prove, Moe,
As we, Bo, Grandpa, all know
There is only failure
July 12th, 2012 at 12:17 pm
Even when Moe succeeds
Even when he jumps and climbs, no,
There is only failure.
July 12th, 2012 at 12:18 pm
(But in non-Haiku, Dorajam, thank you for a most impressive mini-game throughly expressing the depressing failure that is Moe – not the comic, but the proantagonist himself)
July 12th, 2012 at 3:29 pm
I’m not sure how I missed this comment, but it is as I suspected (s/CCI/CCCI/, though that blows the flow).
I just had a thought
About the minigame made.
The thought amused me.
When Moe stays idle,
He could call for his bro Bo.*
Idle too long, well…
Instead, Jetpack Hunk
Arrives from the top of screen –
Moe then grimaces.
*Text bubbles should work.
Maybe Moe kicks Jetpack Hunk
When idle time ends.
July 12th, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Here’s today’s update
Of Super Moe’rio Bros
Destroy Enemies!
(Sorry, no pelvic thrusting action for Grandpa)
July 12th, 2012 at 5:57 pm
Cruel comment forum,
Thoughts immature—misshapen
Enshrined forever.
Oh what I’d forego,
What gladly I’d forsake for
An edit button.
July 12th, 2012 at 5:59 pm
Doramjan taunts me
With software I can’t play now,
While just on my phone.
July 12th, 2012 at 8:09 pm
Now on my laptop,
Physics engine gives delight.
Moe’s enemies fall.
What strange universe
Does Moe’rio inhabit?
Perspective reversed.
[Seriously, though, Doramjan, that’s great work. And I think the background scrolling faster than the foreground gives a bit of charm. Not unlike Moe’s eyes looking backward when walking forward.]
July 13th, 2012 at 4:58 am
That game I would play
For hours uninterrupted,
Were it not for my
Laptop fan, sounding
As if it is becoming
A helicopter.
July 13th, 2012 at 12:12 pm
Much praise for a game.
Super ‘Moe’rio Brothers
Takes the world by storm!
And now for some rhymes that are a biohazard if taken out of containment.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
A Dope on Cape Hope
Without the scope to elope
Had to mope to cope.
Mmm. Now I’m not sure anymore if those rhymes really are that ill. Maybe just high fever.
July 13th, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Today’s a bad day
For paraskevideka-
Triaphobiacs.
July 13th, 2012 at 4:31 pm
I know someone who turned 13 on a Friday the 13th…
Fortunately that someone was not (and is not) a paraskevidekatriaphobiac.
July 13th, 2012 at 5:31 pm
This isn’t Friday the 13th related. I’m just trying to describe a previous Moe comic in haiku form using as many rhymes as possible
Throw little bro Bo Grandpa drops Bo on his toe
oh, low blow fo sho
July 13th, 2012 at 5:32 pm
Aarrgh! FORMATTING! BANE OF MY EXISTENCE! Let’s try this again…
Throw little bro BoGrandpa drops Bo on his toe
oh, low blow fo sho
July 13th, 2012 at 5:33 pm
One more time, then I give up.
Throw little bro Bo
Grandpa drops Bo on his toe
oh, low blow fo sho
July 14th, 2012 at 12:41 am
Been not doing much
Since I published my rap verse;
Time to rev things up.
July 14th, 2012 at 1:39 am
Wanted to post, but my
creative faucet drips slow;
Tonight’s a false start.
July 14th, 2012 at 10:03 am
Woke up this morning
It’s inspiration I feel!
Or I’m just hungry.
July 14th, 2012 at 10:30 am
Roadside breakfast dive,
Catsup on all the tables,
Huckleberry pie.
While eating breakfast,
Poetic menu entry
Gives inspiration.
July 14th, 2012 at 9:20 pm
It happened again—
Carp’s morrning haiku posted;
I did not read it.
I wrote of breakfast
Inspiration as he did—
Serendipity!
July 14th, 2012 at 11:47 pm
Carp wants to rev up
His hunger-powered faucet.
Some mixed metaphors?
July 15th, 2012 at 1:52 am
Since 2012
Is a leap year. Its days are
Numbered (like this post).
July 15th, 2012 at 2:01 am
The Ides of July
Marches on the scene today.
Year is half+ gone.
July 15th, 2012 at 8:51 am
Eating Raisin Bran
Leaves my head empty of thoughts;
Maybe I’ll try eggs.
July 15th, 2012 at 9:10 am
As Carp ate breakfast,
One thought rose above the rest:
Cereal killer!
July 15th, 2012 at 12:29 pm
English muffin, eggs,
Watermelon, banana,
A pad of butter.
My breakfast, complete;
I can’t eat another bite;
Out of syllables.
July 15th, 2012 at 1:52 pm
Breakfast thoughts appeal
world-wide, as each new sun dawns
Over strange time zones.
Here, I look forward
To tomorrow’s coffee and
Fresh German bread rolls.
July 15th, 2012 at 6:30 pm
Late meal, steak and rice:
Minimal combination,
Filling regardless.
July 16th, 2012 at 12:57 am
Lasagna, cheese bread,
Spinach/strawberry salad,
Honeydew melon.
Wholly unaware,
My wife once again cooks with
Haiku conformance.
July 16th, 2012 at 1:07 am
“Why did you tell me?
Now I’ll be thinking of that.”
She said in response.
July 16th, 2012 at 2:01 am
Not topic of Moe;
Still: hate Mondays, want breakfast
Makes two profound truths.
July 16th, 2012 at 2:57 am
Poetic license
allows for straying detours;
Liquid haiku flows.
July 16th, 2012 at 3:00 am
Wonder what Moe eats…?
Perhaps he favours tofu;
He resembles it.
July 16th, 2012 at 3:15 am
Now a family
experience: Moe cooking.
But not tofu. No.
July 16th, 2012 at 3:16 am
Moe ist, was er isst:
Yet another profound truth
Revealed through German?
July 16th, 2012 at 4:41 am
Several options:
Dates & goat cheese (expensive);
Chocolate cheese noodles.
July 16th, 2012 at 5:00 am
Noodle soup (single);
Cow brains (not good); digested
Without a stomach.
July 16th, 2012 at 7:55 am
Long odds, friends.
July 16th, 2012 at 1:02 pm
Things Moe eats include:
Oatmeal, kiwi juice, red wine,
And cheese rings. Good stuff.
July 16th, 2012 at 2:10 pm
Cheese rings, yeah, I know.
Those bring back some memories.
Could have died for them.
July 16th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
To give up one’s life
For some cheesy tasty treats
Is always worth it.
July 16th, 2012 at 4:20 pm
We wanted freeze-treats.
No, don’t laugh, the betrayal
Was unspeakable.
July 16th, 2012 at 10:47 pm
I had an insight!
If Moe’s soul is repulsive,
That no devil wants…
… Then Moe beats the odds
Playing with the Grim Reaper
Since he is not saved.
Heaven can’t take Moe,
And the devil Does Not Want.
So he’s stuck on Earth.
If, by chance, Moe meets
Someone to bring repentence,
Then can Moe be killed.
Immortality
Based on immorality
Is Moe’s true secret.
July 17th, 2012 at 2:55 am
Reading more comics
To pass this interim’s time:
Krazy and Ignatz.
July 17th, 2012 at 8:05 pm
Creative drought strikes:
Seventeen hours gone by,
Everyone silent.
July 17th, 2012 at 8:07 pm
Assuming two syllables in ‘hours’, contrary to a prior assumption of one syllable. Ssshhhhhh! Don’t tell!
July 18th, 2012 at 12:52 am
Not so much a drought
As time for work, sleep, food;
These things sustain me.
July 18th, 2012 at 8:38 am
The pile grows. Four hun-
dred comments, all in a row.
Well, almost. So close.
July 18th, 2012 at 12:59 pm
So close, so close. Yay!
Another drop in our bucket
Virtual it is.
July 18th, 2012 at 1:00 pm
A flash of insight
Poetry and its many forms.
Lost now in daylight.
July 18th, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Nearing four hundred
Cool visualization
But maybe useless
It’s a big word cloud
of all the comments so far.
Keep the flame alive!
Word Cloud!
July 18th, 2012 at 3:26 pm
Useless statistic:
Comment average word length is
Fourteen point seven
(pronounce average as 2 syllables, please)
July 18th, 2012 at 4:32 pm
Oh Nimz, I agree
A sudden shift of vowels
May as such be seen.
But no, Doramjan
To ignore that regal e,
That I cannot do.
Night us upon [us|me]
Edging ever closer to,
A nice round number.
July 18th, 2012 at 4:34 pm
My (previous) punctuation
Was very erroneous;
Matching opinions.
July 18th, 2012 at 5:03 pm
I’ll sneak in the 399’th as well:
Markov-generated text based on the comments (without original newlines):
A short surreal story about nothing in particular
July 18th, 2012 at 5:05 pm
CCCC? C
D? Here, choice. New choice: Hear ‘de
Sea? See sea, Cici?
July 18th, 2012 at 5:07 pm
Four hundred posts now;
Waiting for Michael’s return:
Then we’ll have more Moe.
July 18th, 2012 at 9:23 pm
Lord Firman, your legions suffer in your absence!
July 19th, 2012 at 4:25 am
Alas, the markov
Generated short story
Link goes to the void.
It is quite surreal.
It is quite about nothing.
It’s particular.
July 19th, 2012 at 9:09 am
At a loss, cannot
be found. Alas, foreshadowed:
This is four-oh-four.
July 19th, 2012 at 12:00 pm
Requiems for links
Forever leading nowhere;
Internet demise.
July 19th, 2012 at 12:02 pm
Poem of mercy
Wipes 404 from website
Preventing Moe’s death.
July 19th, 2012 at 12:05 pm
Dissatisfaction—
The ASCII-fication of
My appellation.
July 19th, 2012 at 12:26 pm
Doramjan:
To make a word last two beats in lieu of normal three,
Standard practice is, “Omit and add apostrophe.”.
Thus we can make average become av’rage, you see?
July 19th, 2012 at 12:27 pm
Along with Firman,
Fren and Carp are in the cloud.
Congratulations.
Moe practice montage?
Dubious efficacy
Against jetpack hunks.
July 20th, 2012 at 1:36 am
C D X I V?
M N O X S I C.
O S A R. C?
[See the X, Ivy?
Them ain’t no Xs I see.
Oh yes they are. See?]
And yes, this post would have been much better if it appeared 4 posts in the future, but I am not patient enough to wait for that, and it still works here too.
July 20th, 2012 at 1:39 am
Post from computer
Full keyboard (unlike cell phone’s)
Name spelled correctly.
July 20th, 2012 at 1:40 am
I M D D J B N D M C
Q N X T C C N A C D
C I X L N N S A
U R L N N X S B N D O A
I B D M C U C N N V
U U B M T M T V N M E
[I am the DJ, bein’ the emcee,
Queuein’ ecstasy, see?—in a CD.
See, I excel in an essay.
You are illin’ in excess, bein’ DOA.
I be the emcee you see and envy.
You, you be empty. MTV enemy.]
July 20th, 2012 at 3:14 am
.. .- — –. .-.. .- -.. -.– — ..- .–. — … – . -.. – …. . – .-. .- -. … .-.. .- – .. — -. … -….- – …. .- – -.- .. -. -.. — ..-. … – ..- ..-. ..-. .. … …. .- .-. -.. . .-. – — .–. .- .-. … . – …. .- -. — — .-. … . –..– .– .. – …. — ..- – .-.-.-
[I am glad you posted the translations – that kind of stuff is harder to parse than Morse, without.]
July 20th, 2012 at 1:03 pm
Too-clever website
Makes en-dash from hyphen pairs
Confounding Morse code.
And similiarly it
Creates an em-dash whereas
One wants three hyphens.
But wait there is more:
Three full stops; an ellipsis
Least confusing change.
July 20th, 2012 at 1:53 pm
I noticed this thing.
Also, it should read ‘Moe’rse code.
The numbers worked, though.
(413th post at 3:14 am uses ‘Moe’rse code, partially in honour of a firefly that was once trapped in amber in the comic where 413 is an important number…)
July 21st, 2012 at 5:56 am
A story lost lacking existence none.
Free form farming poetry pandering masses SI.
Imperial system emissary senate Sith.
Words strung stringing together violin quartet association.
Detached cut off milk putting punctuation none.
(I don’t know why my href=”…” was omitted. Maybe something in the filter chain doesn’t like pastebin. The reaction outweighed the material by far in any case.)
July 21st, 2012 at 12:49 pm
In four seventeen
Moe departs from prison with
Demonic whispers.
July 21st, 2012 at 9:03 pm
At no time before
Has Moe shown so much delight
As in four eighteen.
July 22nd, 2012 at 1:42 am
And in four-one-nine
Moe recollects great games, like
Kickle Cubicle.
I have yet to see
Anything else mentioning
Kickle Cubicle.
I had more playtime
On the Sega Genesis
Than on NES.
July 22nd, 2012 at 2:06 pm
I had NES;
Many hours spent playing
DK, FF3.
July 22nd, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Rapping by letters:
Alphabetical command
Over some dope beats.
July 22nd, 2012 at 2:10 pm
Got called off my job
What will I get up to now?
Perhaps, make some posts.
July 22nd, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Perhaps make some graphs?
The night is cool and creaking.
I’ll wreck that damned fan!
Fellow commenters
Find solace in this data
As the rate increased.
First estimate wrong,
Dismissing my handwaving;
I was also right.
Graph of comment accumulation (not rate of increase)
July 22nd, 2012 at 7:04 pm
Four – two – four’s lesson,
Moe slobber: the Achilles’
heel of demon folk.
July 22nd, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Four twenty five: Moe’s
on the blackest of blacklists,
demon didn’t know.
Demon does Shia
LaBeouf impersonation,
demands prison time.
Witty rebuttal
from our hero is met with
a true re’butt’al.
A solid diss, says
Moeseph P. Dope; we rejoice
in punchline success.
July 22nd, 2012 at 9:25 pm
Accumulation:
That graph looks familiar –
Inflation of space.
Theories from physics
(GR, if you have to know)
Say space expanded.
Starting with a bang,
There was an epoch of growth
Accelerated.
It soon level’d off,
Much like the new Baxarn chart:
Accumulation.
July 23rd, 2012 at 5:34 pm
No comments so far.
Today comment-less no more!
carpe diem. Moe.
July 23rd, 2012 at 5:58 pm
And now, for no good reason, a Moe-themed picture.
July 24th, 2012 at 12:24 am
The ‘Moe’na Lisa,
Firman style – better than
the original? Yes.
July 24th, 2012 at 1:37 am
Water! Water! Wah!?
I parched myself on dry food,
Good water elsewhere.
:c
July 24th, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Comments increasing
Approach the all-time record
of four-nine-one posts
(that’s 491 posts)
July 24th, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Just in case anyone wants to make Moe out of Perler Beads: http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/1598/moeperlerbeads.png
July 25th, 2012 at 3:24 am
(Man, I’m exhausted. My friends. Let’s never stop posting. Five hundred is within reach)
July 25th, 2012 at 7:06 am
Elusive number;
Four hundred and ninety-two:
It is in our reach.
July 25th, 2012 at 9:04 am
Ask not what Moe can do for you, ask what you can do for Moe. You can always count on Moe to do the right thing—after he’s tried everything else. The only thing we have to fear is insufficient comment count! Let’s shoot for the ‘Moe’n – one small step for Moe; one giant leap for mankind.
Aaaaaaaaaand I think I’m done ‘Moe’lesting quotes for now.
July 25th, 2012 at 5:40 pm
Friends, the sad truth is:
We cannot measure success,
By post count alone.
Like moe must we not,
Accept our limitations,
Yet strive to improve.
Aye, we fervent few,
Should weigh our commenting skills,
Against twelve year olds.
July 25th, 2012 at 11:48 pm
Let’s get this rolling;
We’ve been a little quiet,
But ideas strike.
July 25th, 2012 at 11:52 pm
Listening to noise:
Electric pulses and drones
In free form structure
Gives way to thoughts new,
Of looser haiku matter –
Composition change.
Perhaps abstraction
Shall become my calling card;
Painting words in swathes.
July 25th, 2012 at 11:54 pm
Blare rains for high praise
Whereupon life buds in cups
Moe, steady to Moe.
July 25th, 2012 at 11:55 pm
Random arrangements
Of nonsense word-bricks convey
Not all that much, huh?
July 25th, 2012 at 11:57 pm
Perhaps a new tack!
Inspiration taken now
from sound poetry:
Ruuuuu-ook ha! Mm-ng
Moe! Sp-yui hoo jhooka!
Moe! fwe-quo hoo ha!
July 25th, 2012 at 11:59 pm
My sounds are for naught.
The praise, inadequate, limp!
I require new forms.
July 26th, 2012 at 12:01 am
I daresay, long style!
The most epic poems lend
Strength in spades for praise.
July 26th, 2012 at 12:06 am
Alas, vigor leaves!
Flashes of vim absented!
I am lazy now.
July 26th, 2012 at 12:34 am
Bear witness to choirs:
Assemblies of sopranos,
Tenors, baritones.
Rousing their voices
In manners similar to
The rest of band.
See the orchestra
In vestments of finest silk;
Players take the stage –
The strings fall in first,
Whilst woodwinds and brass follow;
A piano is led in.
A percussion set
Promises unruly dins,
Pure cacophony!
Conductor, silent;
Poised to command a glory
Heretofore unknown:
Listen to the notes
As they swell about your ears
All proceeds smoothly;
Harmonious tones,
Melodious progression,
Final crescendo!
The climax soars gold
And lovely into the night;
A heavenly roar!
All this I picture
In the silence of lone hours;
It’s all Moe deserves.
I aim for no less
Than the grandest serenades
For the grandest strip;
Should I ever lead
A band, a Philharmonic,
Honoured would I be:
To write symphonies
In the key of the divine
For Firman and Moe.
July 26th, 2012 at 12:39 am
Shout outs to Wiki
For basic background info:
Orchestras and such.
July 26th, 2012 at 12:41 am
I made a long post
Although I thought I wouldn’t;
I guess I’m done now!
Listening to Ayler,
Listening to night’s rainfalls;
The sounds of sleep call.
July 26th, 2012 at 1:50 am
The simple haiku
Not content to stand alone
Becomes a stanza.
Thus Carp makes long-form
Symphony through poetic
Multiplication.
July 26th, 2012 at 1:53 am
Twelve-year-old soccer
In comic four-four-nine yields
Just as many posts.
July 26th, 2012 at 1:55 am
Heavenly chorus:
Played on invisible tools
Like from three-eight-eight?
July 26th, 2012 at 2:00 am
We have broken through!
Now the post count is higher
Than the comic count.
XLIX more
Until we reach solid D:
One half-thousand soon!
July 26th, 2012 at 3:38 am
Boldly going where
no comments section has gone
before: five hundred.
July 26th, 2012 at 3:42 am
Hark! We must quicken
the pace, and hasten the day
of Moe’s returning!
July 26th, 2012 at 4:01 am
INVISIBLE DRUMS
(as in three-eight-eight, above)
has an anagram
MISSILE BIRD VUN: with
a Russian accent, the name
of a fighter plane.
July 26th, 2012 at 4:07 am
Tying the first and
last comics together (one
and four forty nine)
Perhaps if Moe would
play more soccer, his life would
not be so subfusc.
July 26th, 2012 at 4:31 am
An homage to the
mighty Palindr”moe”, born
of longest labors,
I add a comment
to this list informing all
of a man’s actions.
This man voices his
opinion of a naval
fleet, not just any,
but one that has been
ordered to remain anchored
for the time being.
His name is Adam,
not an unusual name,
but rather common.
Knowing all this, you
must agree that ADAM RATES
A SET ARMADA.
July 26th, 2012 at 11:43 am
A man with four names
And our Admiral, a Saint,
Met, fulfilling fate.
An editor, he,
Known in his column as Rifts,
With first name Ian.
The fateful meeting
Had Firman saving Ian
From living Moe-less.
Rifts, grateful for all,
Declared he had a secret:
The editor said,
“Grace unto you, sir:
Adam and Mortimer are
My two middle names.”
ST. FIRMAN AIDED ED. IAN A.M. RIFTS.
July 26th, 2012 at 12:19 pm
The seeds of Moe’s words
Planted in my mind become
A fungus bouquet:
“Boho hobo Bo”.
“Slug in the ugly lug’s jug”.
“A lump of stupid”.
July 26th, 2012 at 1:33 pm
Bo, dressed as “Beedgoosh”,
Met a clown (from thirty five?),
Found him quite funny.
And if you doubt me,
(I heard the exchange myself),
Let me convince you:
OH SO! FOR BOHO HOBO BO TO BOBO, “HO HO, BRO, FO’ SHO’!”.
July 26th, 2012 at 9:08 pm
Here I sit, waiting
Jamming the ‘guch, nodding ‘long
Give us what we need!
July 26th, 2012 at 10:16 pm
The most remarkable part of that exchange is not the fact that it forms a palindrome, nor is it the fact there is only one vowel used. No, the most remarkable part of that exchange is that Bo said an entire sentence without a single ‘poo’.
July 27th, 2012 at 12:22 am
poo poo poo poo poo
poo poo poo poo poo poo poo
a balance restored
July 27th, 2012 at 12:23 am
while I am here, sirs
I will claim post four-fifty
a nice, round number
July 27th, 2012 at 12:24 am
my shame for reading
the wrong numerical sign
painful, eternal
July 27th, 2012 at 1:16 am
Talk of Perler Beads
Inspires a new creation:
LEGO `Moe’saic.
July 27th, 2012 at 1:36 am
One thing’s for certain,
My lousy photography
Obscures true colors.
A second attempt,
Point-and-shoot flash enabled:
Truer, but washed out.
July 27th, 2012 at 5:06 am
I love the Lego ‘Moe’saic. Maybe it should be Leg’Moe’?
July 27th, 2012 at 4:00 pm
Thirty-one comments
In about as many hours;
Movin’ like a train.
July 27th, 2012 at 4:13 pm
Leg‘moe’ ‘moe’saic
With point-and-clickology:
A true work of art.
July 27th, 2012 at 4:30 pm
I wrote an exam…
The scary part of it is,
I was too happy.
Grading always sucks
Whenever the writing part
Is way too much fun.
Maybe I will learn,
Some day, how I can not be
Such a ‘maths’ochist.
July 27th, 2012 at 9:31 pm
Palindr’moe–your lego moe’saics rawk!
July 28th, 2012 at 3:57 am
Internet so bad.
But my comrades march on! Yes!
Don’t give up, my friends
July 29th, 2012 at 3:13 am
Moe’s epic epoch
Of a dozen years of age
Inflates his forecast.
July 29th, 2012 at 1:09 pm
In the growing comment thread
Fans of moe still writing on
‘Til the ballgame has been won
Sharing this poetic bread.
Both nourishing and saturating,
Like loaves baked by the jetpack hunk
Of whom our Moe would say -You punk!
Your talents are infuriating!
I’m concentrating this infusion
Like teabag dosage doubled up
Produces quite a dreadful cup
Consume and sense the brain intrusion.
Neural pathways reposition
The stimulant is rather strong
The second swig — I could be wrong —
I think it gave me premonition.
In endless time and ditto space
I see a story there unfolding
Once more we will be soon beholding
Ol’ jolly rectellipse-for-face.
July 30th, 2012 at 8:55 pm
Minor lulls of posts
Suggest an oncoming storm;
Lightning poetry.
July 30th, 2012 at 9:31 pm
Haiku hurricane.
Here in the eye of the storm,
Just now departing?
July 30th, 2012 at 9:34 pm
Words now fall like rain,
Pitter-patter, they appear:
Torrential downpour.
July 30th, 2012 at 9:47 pm
There are still pockets
Unmolested by the rain –
Spells of writer’s block.
Have you been hiding,
Protected against the din,
Keeping warm and dry?
Moe, you have sick burns
The rain of words cannot quench.
You need not fear it.
July 30th, 2012 at 11:14 pm
I was in april.
Thought may was far from july.
Alas; it is not.
July 30th, 2012 at 11:16 pm
Soon it will be Aug-
-ust. Makes me wonder what sign
Moe was born under.
July 31st, 2012 at 12:04 am
two months worth haikus:
I read it all with all hope.
but as yet, no Moe.
July 31st, 2012 at 12:08 am
I see the clock change.
was about to cry august,
yet thirty-one days.
July 31st, 2012 at 12:32 am
began to 3d
Moe must enter dimension
of multiple D
Working in blender;
mother sees it and critiques.
motivation lost.
July 31st, 2012 at 1:04 am
Moe is, i do fear
a revelutionary.
breaking my 3D.
http://img196.imageshack.us/img196/4183/moed.png
too cute is not Moe,
I’d really rather say Bo,
next dope gets a fro?
July 31st, 2012 at 1:46 am
KILL IT WITH FIRE.
July 31st, 2012 at 11:50 am
fro, dope, mo or bo?
i agree that fire does kill,
burn the 3d pic?
http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/3383/moedfire.png
July 31st, 2012 at 2:16 pm
Three-D Dope model
Has not enough of one thing –
Escaping eyeball.
Maybe there is more,
But that to me was the first
To draw attention.
July 31st, 2012 at 2:25 pm
Hunk stares at the stairs
Leading to the soccer game.
Moe did not warn him.
When controlling jets
Of explosives and gasses,
Stairs don’t seem scary.
That’s the deception:
They warp time and space about
Until experts fall.
Let this lesson show
No one can be too careful
As pedestrians.
July 31st, 2012 at 2:25 pm
Impressive model
Exceeds my ‘Moe’deling skills
Moe CGI film?
July 31st, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Which actor would provide Moe’s voice in a feature film? My vote is for either Owen Wilson or Jude Law.
July 31st, 2012 at 3:45 pm
Friman’s prediction,
Not much time to break record.
As of yet, no Moe.
July 31st, 2012 at 3:48 pm
The strange nose of Moe
exceeds cubism in its shape
too hard to model.
July 31st, 2012 at 3:49 pm
My guess would be
Alec Guinness from the grave
unfitting for Moe
July 31st, 2012 at 4:42 pm
sorry, ‘Moe’ mistake,
I didn’t count syllables.
though Moe lightens up.
http://img708.imageshack.us/img708/3167/moes.gif
July 31st, 2012 at 7:00 pm
Let’s just make our own comics…
http://img705.imageshack.us/img705/933/moestrip2.png
July 31st, 2012 at 7:19 pm
I see what you did there, Palindr‘moe’.
Now that the once lofty goal has been met,
The half-thousand mark within easy reach,
With games, models, and poems set,
A new Moe comic remains the elusive peach.
Yet through it all, our hope will never be let.
July 31st, 2012 at 9:16 pm
Though 500 is
very round indeed, true poets
seek the 5-7-5.
July 31st, 2012 at 11:46 pm
Doramjan, Carp, Nimz.
Six, Twenty Eight, Four-Nine-Six.
First perfect numbers.
Next perfect number:
Eighty-one twenty-eight, well,
That may be too high.
I have a feeling
There will be some coveting
Five seventy five.
August 1st, 2012 at 1:10 am
Whilst some may covet
five-seventy-five, settle
will I, for the next.
August 1st, 2012 at 1:11 am
A record achieved;
Round table of laureates!
Five hundred is here.
August 1st, 2012 at 3:33 am
I worried for this,
a comic lacking update,
but now I am glad.
August 1st, 2012 at 5:11 am
Firman, what the hell.
You said it wouldn’t take long.
Comment, explain yourself!
August 1st, 2012 at 9:55 am
Dekler, just sit back,
Firman will make his way here.
Til then, stay awhile!
August 1st, 2012 at 11:06 am
I was feeling bummed that there hasn’t been an update for a couple of months now, but then I realized something: we’ve had somewhere around 95 — NINETY-FIVE! — Moe comics already this year. That. is. SPECTACULAR! That’s practically 2 comics a week over the course of a year. The problem’s just that he posted them all at the beginning of the year 😛
August 1st, 2012 at 12:52 pm
strip:week ratio
almost 2. obviously,
our math heals all wounds.
August 1st, 2012 at 2:26 pm
I’m going to keep making my own comics.
http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/978/moestrip3.png
August 1st, 2012 at 2:52 pm
For just one second,
I turned: cascade of comments!
Another landmark.
August 1st, 2012 at 3:47 pm
Truly this event,
Deserves some illustration:
Automated graph.
Detailed graph
Each cross a comment,
Spanning the axis of time:
Your contributions.
I give assurance,
Of better graphics later,
When I’ve learned gnuplot.
August 1st, 2012 at 5:24 pm
i would like to see
a Graph interpretation
of all these haikus.
August 1st, 2012 at 11:10 pm
Interpretation
is not something Moe can do.
Wisdom is not his.
August 1st, 2012 at 11:11 pm
Dinosaur Moe , yes!
Support for the Admiral
Imitation. Pride.
August 1st, 2012 at 11:11 pm
Or is it, something…
Flattery? If Admiral
will allow it, I hope.
August 1st, 2012 at 11:36 pm
Copyright questions
To be answered by Firman.
My contribution.
August 1st, 2012 at 11:53 pm
Raw fish and rice is
an all-scenario joke;
It’s quite amazing.
August 1st, 2012 at 11:57 pm
Or is the joke just
A rotten, old fish, expired?
Nah, still has mileage
August 2nd, 2012 at 2:12 am
This fish swims upstream.
Spawning is a bitch, ain’t it.
Cruel nature, Moe is.
August 2nd, 2012 at 9:15 am
learning nutrition.
truly educational,
Moe’s raw fish and rice.
August 2nd, 2012 at 12:50 pm
Don’t you see?!! While you people were busy poeticing, SOMEBODY KILLED FIRMAN!
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNN
August 2nd, 2012 at 1:30 pm
Firman is living.
how else could we poetize?
here, a testament:
http://img407.imageshack.us/img407/6406/moeku.png
August 2nd, 2012 at 3:00 pm
I will contribute
To fish and rice sub-genre
another comic
August 2nd, 2012 at 3:11 pm
sub-genre fan art!
August 2nd, 2012 at 7:15 pm
Awesome fan picture.
Maybe it will re-appear,
somewhere else random.
http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/3041/rawmoe.png
August 2nd, 2012 at 8:25 pm
Teh_Bucket, that is easily the funniest thing I’ve seen all day
August 2nd, 2012 at 8:51 pm
Why thank you!
August 3rd, 2012 at 3:52 am
Firman’s fine artwork
Embodies physical form,
Enshrined forever.
August 3rd, 2012 at 10:57 am
Teh_Bucket and Palindr’moe’, your grief enhances your talents.
August 3rd, 2012 at 12:28 pm
Servers will crumble
What this world’s future needed.
A real, solid Moe
August 4th, 2012 at 5:00 am
The raw fish and rice –
The fishy rice and raw fish –
Fish for the raw rice.
August 4th, 2012 at 11:03 am
The new recipe:
cook rice, marinade raw fish.
Serve cold with punch-line.
August 4th, 2012 at 12:45 pm
Or skip the cooking…
Does Moe eat (raw fish) and rice?
Or raw (fish and rice)?
August 4th, 2012 at 1:24 pm
rice becomes fluffy.
is raw uncooked or undried?
Moe eats out of box.
August 4th, 2012 at 1:53 pm
I want to try now
This…”raw fish & rice” Moe dish.
The teeth! Raw rice…ow.
August 4th, 2012 at 1:54 pm
Eating out of box,
When the box is a panel,
Grants Moe his freedom.
References to
Parasite-infested fish
Go over my head.
Simply splitting up,
Sentences like this makes me,
Hang my head in shame.
August 4th, 2012 at 2:13 pm
I, A CRAWFISH NERD
Met A SANDWICH FRIER at
A CRAWFISH DINER.
“HI, SIR DWARF ACNE”,
Said the FAR WHINIER CADS,
“NICE DWARF HAIRS”.
IRISH CEDAR FAWN
Lost by Gaelic woodcarver
CASH REWARD IF IN.
August 4th, 2012 at 5:55 pm
Was our punchline good?
Should it remain as it was?
or crawfish and rice?
August 5th, 2012 at 12:24 am
I, a crawfish nerd,
said “frier, you let me free!”
some crawfish advice.
August 5th, 2012 at 1:35 am
CRAWFISH AND IRE. Dude,
That crawfish looks pretty mad.
Maybe it’s hungry?
August 5th, 2012 at 5:20 am
IN CRAWFISH DARE, my
peers convinced me to consume
much crawfish (with haste)
In the middle of
my dare, across the room, I
SAW A RICH FRIEND. Joy!
I asked him if he
wanted crawfish, but he said
he’s CHASIN’ WAR FRIED:
Seeking only the
crawfish cooked in the flames of
combat explosives.
August 5th, 2012 at 10:32 am
My crawfish advice:
When making raw fish and rice,
Use crawfish; it’s nice!
August 5th, 2012 at 7:11 pm
What kind of rice, sir?
Do you have any that come
With plates of raw fish?
Most certainly, sir.
And what would please the madam?
Raw rice and fish, thanks.
August 5th, 2012 at 10:13 pm
madam, or madman?
Similar, easy misread.
One may not differ.
August 6th, 2012 at 1:40 am
Like TF2 spies,
The madam is a madman
In clever disguise.
August 6th, 2012 at 4:00 am
This logic seems false.
The madman is a madman
As Moe is concerned.
August 6th, 2012 at 9:12 am
Alas, I’ve been away. The pile has grown. Let us hope that the gods themselves do not smash down our tower of comments and scatter us to the four winds.
August 6th, 2012 at 12:32 pm
My Father the Astacologist
After having a craving for raw fish
I picked up some rice and some crawfish.
This made my dad crabby,
“Crawfish, crayfish, or yabby;
It’s an arthropod, son, it is not fish!”
August 6th, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Did I imagine?
I’m at a loss to explain
Things in my thought train:
Words stuck in his craw,
Jude Law opened up his maw.
That’s all that I saw.
Was it real or rice?
Like raw fish kept under ice,
To know would be nice.
August 6th, 2012 at 7:06 pm
If only Firman had an Amazon Affiliate link… Then we could all buy “The Story of Sushi: An Unlikely Saga of Raw Fish and Rice” through his Amazon Affiliate link and he’d get a small cut.
August 6th, 2012 at 7:24 pm
Another fan comic while we wait for the real thing.
August 7th, 2012 at 12:29 am
Story of Sushi.
but only 9 left in stock.
click to look inside!
August 7th, 2012 at 12:30 am
Ah, Firman’s humour.
can travel through just his art.
our words: placeholders.
August 7th, 2012 at 4:07 am
Raw fish with no rice?
That’s sashimi, not sushi.
For sushi, add rice.
I figure we are
Still on the left side of that
Peak in the last graph.
August 7th, 2012 at 11:28 am
scroll all the way down,
with an infinite scroll wheel:
about 6 seconds.
August 7th, 2012 at 12:47 pm
What’s the latest craze
In nuclear power plants?
It’s raw fission rice.
The one without pun,
Let him or her be the first
To be casting stones.
-_-;;
August 7th, 2012 at 1:07 pm
< (raw fish)
(||) (bowl of rice with chopsticks on top)
August 7th, 2012 at 1:07 pm
Arrg, something ate my raw fish! <
August 7th, 2012 at 3:16 pm
many days i spent
thinking of raw fish/rice pun.
raw fission rice wins.
August 7th, 2012 at 3:50 pm
Epic battle lost;
Doramjan versus website
Leaves fish-part carnage.
Ampersand, L, T
Followed by semicolon.
Will that save the day?
<><
August 7th, 2012 at 3:51 pm
note: RAW FISH AND RICE
With the letters rearranged
makes FANCIER RAW DISH
August 7th, 2012 at 3:54 pm
Muphry’s Law prevails
(Don’t confuse it with Murphy’s)
Muphry ate my fish!
<><
August 7th, 2012 at 4:10 pm
When fan comic asks,
Obligations must be met,
Graphs generated.
Comments resurging,
Phenomenon maybe caused,
By raw fish and rice.
August 7th, 2012 at 5:01 pm
չեփված ձուկ և բրինձ
сырая рыба и рис
August 7th, 2012 at 5:20 pm
ASCII fish was hard;
I dare not post as comment
My Alph‘moe’bet Moe.
August 7th, 2012 at 5:26 pm
Linking disaster!
Moe’s colors all negative
Leaked HTML.
To correct the view:
Delete /raw, reload, then
Change display option.
Text/HTML
Is the option to reveal
Moe in his glory.
August 7th, 2012 at 5:33 pm
😮
ASCII art has always been impressive to me. Probably wise that that was not placed directly in the comments, as the line breaks would probably break down. And other things could go wrong.
August 7th, 2012 at 5:34 pm
In other news, does not break smileys.
August 7th, 2012 at 5:36 pm
And by that I mean . I must be doing something wrong, as I used the < and > things and everything. :\
August 7th, 2012 at 5:40 pm
Surprise outcome text.
Hypertext markup language,
You are so crazy.
What I meant to say
In my ‘other news’ comment
Was something like this:
“In other news, <> does not break smileys.”
August 7th, 2012 at 5:42 pm
I hope this works. . .
ad88 88 88
d8″ “” 88
88 88
8b,dPPYba, ,adPPYYba, 8b db d8 MM88MMM 88 ,adPPYba, 88,dPPYba,
88P’ “Y8 “” `Y8 `8b d88b d8′ 88 88 I8[ “” 88P’ “8a
88 ,adPPPPP88 `8b d8’`8b d8′ 88 88 `”Y8ba, 88 88
88 88, ,88 `8bd8′ `8bd8′ 88 88 aa ]8I 88 88
88 `”8bbdP”Y8 YP YP 88 88 `”YbbdP”‘ 88 88
88 88
88 “”
88
,adPPYYba, 8b,dPPYba, ,adPPYb,88 8b,dPPYba, 88 ,adPPYba, ,adPPYba,
“” `Y8 88P’ `”8a a8″ `Y88 88P’ “Y8 88 a8″ “” a8P_____88
,adPPPPP88 88 88 8b 88 88 88 8b 8PP”””””””
88, ,88 88 88 “8a, ,d88 88 88 “8a, ,aa “8b, ,aa
`”8bbdP”Y8 88 88 `”8bbdP”Y8 88 88 `”Ybbd8″‘ `”Ybbd8″‘
August 7th, 2012 at 8:51 pm
So many eighty-eights
What does this all mean, Dora-m?
It raw fish & rice?
August 7th, 2012 at 9:16 pm
too much confusion.
I ASCII Moe a question.
More raw fish and rice?
August 7th, 2012 at 9:24 pm
Poetry is Art. Legos is Art. ASCII is Art. Beads is Art. Graphs is Art. Art is Art. Copyright infringement is art.
Haiku is Art.
Propose a book:
Full of all of our comments.
Sales would skyrocket.
August 7th, 2012 at 9:37 pm
Firman — back on twitter!
This third line won’t be haiku
twitter.com/michaelfirman/
August 8th, 2012 at 3:29 am
Curiosity…
Bo’s pen name while in NASA:
Bobak Ferdowski?
August 8th, 2012 at 9:10 am
You may keep your fish, be it raw, parboiled, blanched, steamed or grilled.
I shall have red beans with my rice.
August 8th, 2012 at 3:59 pm
Kidney beans consumed,
At lunch today with some rice,
No sign of raw fish.
August 8th, 2012 at 5:47 pm
It’s almost a shame
To destroy a comment count
That’s a palindrome.
But comment we must,
Until the great day shall come:
Moe shall live again.
His tongue shall be loosed;
The curse of raw fish and rice
Lifted forever.
August 9th, 2012 at 7:22 am
Moe lives on forever in our hearts. Many moons may yet pass before he stirs again, but we shall keep the memory alive.
August 9th, 2012 at 1:46 pm
From what distant sea
The Admiral does travel
Is not ours to know.
August 9th, 2012 at 1:46 pm
But return he will
And with bounty he comes – soon
Like a shooting star
August 11th, 2012 at 4:55 am
DLXXX:
It’s like deluxe, but extra.
… Or a porn download.
August 12th, 2012 at 12:42 am
Alas, my faith grows thin –
Firman’s benevolence fades,
Leaving us alone.
August 12th, 2012 at 1:34 am
It is our solemn,
Holy duty, if that’s true,
To abandon hope.
The alternative:
Power of fraternal love!
Hope all the harder!
Put me down for B.
I `Moe’tion for `Moe’r hope here.
All is not lost yet.
August 12th, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Dent, Nimz is wisdom.
Comics are hard – Internet more.
Comment harder, Friends.
August 13th, 2012 at 4:15 am
My AC is failing.
Not really a haiku.
Just complaining.
August 13th, 2012 at 1:06 pm
Sorry to hear that.
Just remember to drink lots
And lots of water.
I have yet to use
A/C in my apartment.
School is cool enough.
It also helps that I have an office at school, so the triple digits can still largely be avoided, even on the weekends. My car, on the other hand… yeah, I’ve been using the hell out of that air conditioning. Which is kind of a luxury, since the last two summers I had a vehicle with nonfunctioning A/C.
August 13th, 2012 at 5:59 pm
Let’s petition the Admiral to invite guest columnists to create Moe comics in his absence. I suggest Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins of Penny Arcade first. After all, Moe does have a certain resemblance to the ghosts in Super Mario Brothers. Admiral, what think ye?
August 14th, 2012 at 7:55 am
Alas, dear Dent, and all other dear friends … it may seem as though our Admiral is letting us down. However, being a master of the human psyche, what he is truly doing is building us up. His absence shall make us grow stronger, for one cannot truly know the glory of Heaven without first wretching into the porcelain bowels of Hell.
When times are dark and hopes are faint, let your faith be as a light.
August 14th, 2012 at 12:55 pm
I wouldn’t mind doing a guest comic or two.
August 14th, 2012 at 12:56 pm
I miss Carp.
August 14th, 2012 at 7:54 pm
I miss Carp too.
Guest comics are a marvelous idea.
August 14th, 2012 at 8:06 pm
The comments clutter.
Just as the birds do flutter.
Moe bread and butter.
August 14th, 2012 at 9:28 pm
Bravo.
August 15th, 2012 at 12:19 am
Carp is MIA?
A fortnight signifies naught,
But shortage of bait.
August 15th, 2012 at 2:52 am
Hey! I’m stil around –
Went to Montreal last week,
Although I’m back now.
August 15th, 2012 at 2:53 am
(wooops, I meant *still)
August 15th, 2012 at 2:57 am
Too tired for thoughts new;
‘Moe’etic praise briefly paused,
to restart later.
August 15th, 2012 at 5:48 am
Ready! Set! Moe!
August 15th, 2012 at 9:19 am
‘Twas brillig and the slithy Moes
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe
All mimsy were the commenters
And the readers outgrabe.
Beware the Jetpack Hunk, Dope son
The jets that burn, much like a match
Beware the Bo-demon
And shun the nethergatory batch.
August 15th, 2012 at 9:30 am
Comment with fervour–
Six hundred and ninety-eight
Soon seven hundred!
August 15th, 2012 at 9:45 am
Sparta has nothing!
Six Hundred is where it’s at.
Instead: This is Moe!
August 15th, 2012 at 11:18 am
Sixth of a thousand
comments accrued nigh daily;
Thoughts are not yet slim.
August 15th, 2012 at 7:55 pm
Slept not long enough;
mind is hazy, thoughts are blurred –
I’ll indulge in naps.
August 16th, 2012 at 11:08 pm
Forward thinking, yes
Seven hundred–not yet!
But we will, we will.
(Clearly, my morose nature impedes my ability to read…)
August 16th, 2012 at 11:08 pm
Forward thinking, yes
Seven hundred–not yet!
But we will, we will.
August 16th, 2012 at 11:09 pm
(Clearly, my morose nature impedes my ability to read…And I do not understand how one clickie netted double post. Apologies.)
August 17th, 2012 at 7:25 am
Another Friday. Seven days with no Moe makes one weak.
August 17th, 2012 at 10:12 am
A line-long post works
But with a little jiggling,
Voila! A haiku:
Another Friday.
Seven days without Moe makes
One week without Mow.
August 17th, 2012 at 10:12 am
(hahaha, *Moe)
August 17th, 2012 at 8:06 pm
asterisk, it’s *Moe.
Imitation cat, “Meow”
Cat’s got Carp’s tongue, eh?
August 17th, 2012 at 8:14 pm
Infinite wi-fi?
on a train, yet still with webs.
a great invention.
August 17th, 2012 at 10:21 pm
Wifi on a train?
Bizarre, yet remarkable!
Sounds like a great trip.
August 18th, 2012 at 12:15 am
silly network names:
“Bill Wi the Science Fi” wins.
“Other Network” close.
August 18th, 2012 at 4:39 am
If I get wi-fi,
My network name would surely
Be “raw fish and rice”.
August 18th, 2012 at 7:27 am
Or “pretty fly for a wifi”
August 18th, 2012 at 6:10 pm
“Poo poo poo poo”
August 18th, 2012 at 6:12 pm
Although my favorite series was a camera shot of several wi-fi networks, the top saying
“give us back our pink flamingos”
and a little lower
“your pink flamingos are mine forever”
August 18th, 2012 at 6:20 pm
Six one seven, has it
been
so long already? Oh my.
August 18th, 2012 at 6:22 pm
Raw fish and rice is good
but
Raw fish and ice is much colder
August 19th, 2012 at 1:35 pm
“Why fly when you can
Take the train?” becomes “Wi-fi
When you take the train.”
August 19th, 2012 at 1:39 pm
T1m’s scheme gets quite hard just
now.
August 19th, 2012 at 1:42 pm
[Argh, how is my math so bad that I think that 6, 1, 0 comes after 6, 1, 9?]
August 19th, 2012 at 1:42 pm
My haiku was written
before
I knew.
August 19th, 2012 at 2:14 pm
I AM A DALEK
A DALEK NEEDS NO HAIKU
EXTERMINATE!
August 19th, 2012 at 9:30 pm
A new form of haiku:
ever
changing meter.
Moe fans are masters of
all forms
of poetry.
August 19th, 2012 at 9:35 pm
Fret not, Palindr’moe’,
“now” may
be pronounced “nah-ow”.
August 19th, 2012 at 10:49 pm
Let me take a shot here,
On a
Palindromic number
August 20th, 2012 at 12:50 am
Poetic irony:
Constraints
Breathe freedom to expression.
August 20th, 2012 at 1:40 am
Constraints set aside,
perhaps a blessing to some;
I rep O.G. style.
Five-seven-five suits
my poetic ambitions
for the time being.
August 20th, 2012 at 1:46 am
Actually, maybe
it’s time
for referential syllabic stabs.
August 20th, 2012 at 1:47 am
It was fun at first, but
this one’s tough.
[not really]
August 20th, 2012 at 7:54 am
Though late to the party, I shall share nonetheless. My wifi network name is … corn. All of my neighbors try to be clever, with names such as “Spidey’s Den” and “Wolf Lodge”. I shall roll monosyllabic with my SSID.
August 20th, 2012 at 11:16 am
S-S-I-D corn.
Clever, boring, or unique?
monosyllable.
August 20th, 2012 at 9:58 pm
So busy.
August 21st, 2012 at 4:17 am
What happen?
We get signal!
What! Main screen turn on.
What you say!! Busy signal!
Ha ha ha ha . . . . You know what you doing.
August 21st, 2012 at 7:58 am
Corn, I shall say, is simply atypical of names generally given for a wifi SSID. A hidden nugget of joy for wardrivers, a chance to think “WTF is that git thinkin?” Why not deploy easter eggs for the curious, I say.
August 21st, 2012 at 1:01 pm
tired, business day.
accidentily dial fax.
strange noise: Aliens?
August 21st, 2012 at 9:01 pm
Not Aliens, no.
Bo, from space, calling home-home.
Teh_Bucket, answer!
August 21st, 2012 at 10:41 pm
Hello? poo, you say?
nethergatory, you say?
Sorry, wrong number.
August 22nd, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Bo, now lost in space
Teh_Bucket, cold as empty.
Rescue? No longer.
August 22nd, 2012 at 4:45 pm
But not all is lost.
star, 7, 5, put on hold.
Forward: Jetpack hunk.
August 23rd, 2012 at 12:14 am
Teh dash wait. Hunk Rump?
Are you calling Problem Sleuth?
Space – not hard boiled.
August 23rd, 2012 at 1:37 am
Hardly boiled space:
Room for rent for coddled sleuths.
Free indulgences.
August 23rd, 2012 at 1:05 pm
Famine fiesta!*
Alert all authorities!**
Don’t dare drop dead, dude.***
* hippotech + hotsauce?
** or at least Fiesta Ace Dick.
*** talking to God from your coffin is fine, though.
August 23rd, 2012 at 4:02 pm
There are more comments on this one comic than there are comics on the entire site. We’re the best fans!
August 24th, 2012 at 4:38 pm
I was little match:
Moe, an incredible hunk;
And when in the Olds!…
Rather against (or of) will.
And well, I was 12.
Today I have skills:
Jetpack course organizing,
League soccer forward.
I’m sure you could play.
Really, at least play a year.
But I am still 12.
[That’s every word from the comic but “is”, (though please forgive me for expanding one “I’m” to “I am”).]
August 24th, 2012 at 5:06 pm
Been slackin’ on words
To populate the post count;
Here are a few, though.
August 24th, 2012 at 5:09 pm
For his brilliance
I award Palindr’moe’
The Carp prize of praise.
August 25th, 2012 at 12:42 pm
A tribute to “Pal”
all of the of the words I now use
come from this haiku.
August 25th, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Rainy night, fresh yunnan
Meaning tea and not province;,
I’m not that hungry.
SOAP services, bleh.
W S D L X M L
Got to get this done.
August 25th, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Baxarn, from planet
W S D L X M L?
Haikus – now in space.
August 25th, 2012 at 8:23 pm
Is this the planet
Where the letter double-u
Is one syllable?
We could petition
To rename this odd letter
To just its sound, “whuh”.
Or perhaps Baxarn,
Longs for the Old English rune
With the same sound, Ƿ*?
*Ƿ is named “Wynn”.
August 25th, 2012 at 8:25 pm
Lest I be accused,
Of adding insult to pain,
I offer Baxarn:
The Divine Limerick
In Dante’s description of Hell,
(In that poem we know so well),
The scene of perdition
Has a major omission—
The tenth circle is XML.
August 26th, 2012 at 3:58 am
I engelsk miljö
är mitt nedkortade w
oförståeligt
Ty simpla nordbor,
gör diverse undantag,
för förkortningar.
(In this english setting, my usage of w was incomprehensible. Us simple nords make certain exceptions for abbreviations (especially www))
Palindr’moe, that limerick deserves framing. And you should check if Google’s looking for a CPO at the moment.
August 26th, 2012 at 1:31 pm
You’ve got me musing…
Chief Poetry Officer?
Could that be a thing?!
I’m glad you like the limerick, Baxarn. Before framing it, I’d really like to come up with a better second line. The current one is just empty filler, (and the repeated initial “in” is annoying.
August 26th, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Though it doesn’t match hermeneutics that well
August 26th, 2012 at 10:01 pm
How’s this? Still filler, but … it’s different filler.
In Dante’s description of Hell,
One thing he neglected to tell:
The scene of perdition
Has a major omission—
The tenth circle is XML.
In other news:
Moeseph in the blood
Must not be tolerated,
According to sports.
August 27th, 2012 at 8:06 am
Naught to see upon the sea but waves and tides and gulls.
August 27th, 2012 at 12:24 pm
Nimz, thanks for your help.
That’s poetry perfection.
Comedy divine.
And it’s not just filler anymore. While providing a complete thought, the second line now gives the perfect setup for the punchline. Collaborative poetry success!
August 28th, 2012 at 2:34 am
Where’d all my time go?
It’s past 2 A.M. again
Forgot about sleep –
Since damage is done,
a turn to the nocturnal,
I’ll just post instead.
August 28th, 2012 at 2:36 am
Alas! Mind shut-down
prevents my spark of words;
now, duller than Moe.
August 28th, 2012 at 2:37 am
(and you know I’m tired
by how line two is a dang
syllable too short)
August 28th, 2012 at 10:43 am
Forgiveness is bliss –
For iron sharpens iron,
And we all improve.
August 28th, 2012 at 1:47 pm
As we all should know,
the best art is a bit flawed;
just a bit off.
August 28th, 2012 at 3:54 pm
If just a bit off
Makes art; know that two bits off
Saves twenty-five cents.
August 28th, 2012 at 3:58 pm
One more thing to know:
The next comment to appear
Will be evil.
It’s so evil it already stole the last syllable of that haiku.
August 28th, 2012 at 5:41 pm
And it’s so evil
It stole seven syllables
From the next haiku
August 28th, 2012 at 8:06 pm
the only cure is
and yes, it will work.
August 28th, 2012 at 9:10 pm
I thought `More cowbell’,
But it lacks four syllables.
Even `Moe’re cowbell?
August 28th, 2012 at 10:11 pm
Let’s hope it don’t last.
Uh oh, still nothing.
August 28th, 2012 at 11:19 pm
It’s a tragic curse –
I believe you can make it.
Best of luck, my friend.
August 29th, 2012 at 12:52 am
dangnabbit, who stole
all my syllables
August 29th, 2012 at 3:40 am
The haiku curse lives!
<><><><
From keep happening!
August 29th, 2012 at 12:03 pm
_ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _
(evil plan complete, all syllables have been liberated. Glory to the Motherland.)
August 29th, 2012 at 12:24 pm
Was that:
Evil plan complete,
Syllables liberated.
Motherland glory!
By chance?
August 29th, 2012 at 3:05 pm
Aha, solution!
The cure to the tragic curse!
Just blame the Russians.
August 29th, 2012 at 6:32 pm
Faint haiku whispers,
silence brought on by Russians;
syllabic Cold War.
August 29th, 2012 at 7:22 pm
Party ushankas?
Legitimate word combo?
For the motherland!
August 29th, 2012 at 9:50 pm
.work syllables though
confusion on bringing
:backwards haiku a
August 29th, 2012 at 11:12 pm
In Russia, apparently Haiku you.
August 30th, 2012 at 1:20 am
.impressed quite am I
– there, haiku backwards that in
proud me done have You
August 30th, 2012 at 4:15 am
Moe kicked the bucket
Firman gives the silent treatment
But updates Tumblr.
August 30th, 2012 at 1:59 pm
The ways of Firman,
Often mysterious, yes?
Trust the Admiral.
August 30th, 2012 at 2:54 pm
Soviet Russians
Retain reflexivity –
You something yourself.
August 31st, 2012 at 9:28 am
The boat sprung a leak
The Admiral sank and died
Still the navy waits
August 31st, 2012 at 9:52 am
Just when did we reach
fifteen to seven hundred?
I blinked and missed it.
August 31st, 2012 at 11:35 am
Jetpack hunk has so many amusing anagrams: Jack the Punk, Pack the Junk, Khan Puck Jet.
Na’Bo’Lean also has amusing anagrams: Banal One, Anal Bone, Bean Loan.
And Palindr’Moe can be rearranged to Rapid Melon or Random Pile.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:30 pm
“I can’t live without another Moe!” wailed Drama Jon.
“It’s true that no comic is more significant,” added Major Dan.
“The admiral’s not in the desert, I checked all of it,” said Nomad Raj.
“And we just wanted some art for our new rap CD,” moaned DJ N. Aroma and DJ A. Roman.
I find that nuclear duck tastes best with a glaze of Radon Jam.
Zese vords are fery Random, Ja?
August 31st, 2012 at 11:12 pm
My name rearranged
has few possibilities;
Alas! Call me Acpr.
August 31st, 2012 at 11:13 pm
(we’re counting Acpr as one syllable, of course)
September 1st, 2012 at 8:57 am
So close to 700, and yet my ability to rhyme grows weaker. My friends, so much stronger, keep focus while I rest.
September 1st, 2012 at 9:41 am
Perhaps our efforts,
keep the admiral assured,
fans will still remain.
I’ll start a boycott,
not writing any more comments
until tomorrow.
September 1st, 2012 at 11:58 am
9..
September 1st, 2012 at 11:58 am
8..
September 1st, 2012 at 11:59 am
7..
September 1st, 2012 at 11:59 am
6..
September 1st, 2012 at 11:59 am
5..
September 1st, 2012 at 12:00 pm
4..
September 1st, 2012 at 12:00 pm
3..
September 1st, 2012 at 12:00 pm
2..
September 1st, 2012 at 12:01 pm
1..
700th GET! HAHAHAHA
RANDOMGETSMAN HAS STRUCK AGAIN!
September 1st, 2012 at 12:01 pm
party time
September 1st, 2012 at 12:02 pm
Haha, damn you randomgets maaaaan
September 1st, 2012 at 12:07 pm
Though a milestone’s missed,
I’ve nabbed enough moments, so!
Best not get greedy.
September 1st, 2012 at 3:16 pm
If there are boycotts,
My only question is this:
Where are the girlcotts?
September 1st, 2012 at 3:36 pm
Elementary.
To find either gender’s cots,
ask camp counselors.
September 1st, 2012 at 9:43 pm
But would camp leaders
Be able to tell which cots
Are males or females?
September 2nd, 2012 at 2:33 am
“Where do cots come from?”
Well, when you have a boycott
That loves a girlcott…
… And then a stork comes
Carrying a baby cot.
That’s where they come from.
September 2nd, 2012 at 3:13 pm
‘Moe’r entries from The Bumdemon’s Dictionary:
ascot: having the appearance of a cot
cottage: old enough to attend summer camp
cotton: a huge number of cots, (more than enough for camp)
dovecot: a little bed for a little bird
mascot: a face like a rumpled bed, (usually from having just slept in one)
September 2nd, 2012 at 3:30 pm
The shit is this, Firman.
September 2nd, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Random Stranger for the steal!
We have skullduggery in our midst!
We’ve become popular enough to have skullduggery in our midst!
September 2nd, 2012 at 6:32 pm
def- Skullduggery:
an archaeologist’s job;
digging up some skulls.
September 3rd, 2012 at 4:07 am
Question – Does Moe have a skull?
September 3rd, 2012 at 4:58 am
Moe’s skull, is it there?
An X-Ray was never done,
but Moe goes skulling:
http://i.imgur.com/4cIx8.gif
September 3rd, 2012 at 10:08 am
Fury of rowing
perpetually nowhere;
I’d be angry, too.
September 3rd, 2012 at 1:31 pm
Moe had a stomach,
But that’s no longer the case.
He has teeth, at least.
Fixed teeth indicate
Part of a skull is in there:
Moe should have a jaw.
Fury in a boat:
Moe’s oars don’t touch the water,
Yet he keeps trying.
September 3rd, 2012 at 3:48 pm
Moe rows endlessly
all over nethergatory,
never close to land.
September 3rd, 2012 at 4:12 pm
Skeletal fixtures –
In all, not necessary.
Moe merely exists.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:02 pm
a binary haiku:
01001001
can’t fit it all in.
September 5th, 2012 at 3:26 am
A new Moe has come
Sorry that I doubted you.
Can you forgive me?
September 5th, 2012 at 4:17 pm
I just can’t resist
commenting for old times’ sake
to get the last word
September 13th, 2012 at 5:23 pm
Philosophers ask,
“If a tree falls unobserved,
Does it make a sound?”
Similarly, now,
“If I comment on old Moe,
Will anyone see?”
September 21st, 2012 at 12:26 am
Yes, affirmative.
Though a week after posting,
your comment is seen.
September 25th, 2012 at 4:34 am
Old Moe comments here
Are sorely lacking something…
Ah! Raw fish and rice!
December 17th, 2012 at 4:32 pm
MOE in hex equals 4D4F45
4D4F45 as a color equals http://www.colorhexa.com/4d4f45.png
And that color would actually fit surprisingly well in the current web page color scheme!
March 19th, 2014 at 6:28 am
Internet connection required!
My blog post: Diablo III: Reaper of Souls Download!!!
August 7th, 2014 at 3:55 am
Hello! Quick question that’s entirely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly?
My weblog looks weird when viewing from my iphone4.
I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to
resolve this problem. If you have any suggestions, please share.
Many thanks!
July 17th, 2016 at 11:50 am
I remeber this day.
Only for me it was with 7 year olds.
July 17th, 2016 at 4:28 pm
People. That is a Beta
July 19th, 2016 at 5:00 am
Beta is β;
It has a similar shape.
ß is eszett.
August 19th, 2016 at 10:45 pm
Doramjan was my fiance in early 2015. He passed away suddenly in May 2016. I missed him so much tonight, I searched the Internet to find his online presence and remember him. I found this quite brilliant and entertaining place where his personality shone. Thank you for your parts in it, all of you! If
August 19th, 2016 at 10:48 pm
anyone wants to know more about him or remember him, here are some places on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1477569922540334/
https://www.facebook.com/doramjan1/
Sorry, I accidentally hit enter above! He passed away in May 2015.
November 9th, 2016 at 7:57 pm
If?
If what?
May 25th, 2021 at 3:16 am
– Ukosbcip Ojafniyi qhm.ryuu.firmanproductions.com.fab.ex
May 25th, 2021 at 3:24 am
– Iqzineva Ebupsope soc.rozm.firmanproductions.com.tie.gf