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Gentlemen (and Ladies), we have a new moe comic and the comments are only up to 7! This is a severe disappointment! Where is the rampaging nonsense Sir Duke Lord Firman Admiral Esquire has come to expect! Get those fingers tapping!
Do my eyes deceive me? Is this a dream? No? Oh glorious day! All beings shall romp with delight at the sight of this magnificent creation. Perhaps we will be blessed with more such as this. We shall hope and wait, for the time hath come. Rejoice!
Sadly, the addictive qualities of Moe comics escaped the notice of the US Food and Drug Administration. Firman’s playing us like we’re street junkies! He gives us a taste and then teases us along awhile, making us paint his fence and say kind things.
sorry, was extremely ill and thus a little out/off the grid.
But let us think on the current Moe’dition we have going on. Moe, our…um, well, “hero”, has been abducted while wearing a suit and is being kept in a relatively small box.
This is definitely not the first time Moe has been abducted (I count at least two with the crazy moe-cloning doctor and moe’s brief flirtation with flirtation) so we’ll argue this is just something the universe does to Moe.
But why? We may know this stuff just keeps happening (because it obviously does) but why this time? Who are these strange scientists and why have they kept Moe trapped?
Further psychological evaluation is needed, but perhaps the question we should ask is whether Moe suffers from narcissistic personality disorder OR a latent martyr complex? Moe’s proclivity to find himself a victim may correlate to low self-esteem and a desire to feel needed. Then again, his overall pattern of erratic behavior and delusional conversations may suggest a prodromal phase of schizophrenic tendencies, in which case it is imperative Moe receives proper diagnosis and treatment before he enters full-blown psychosis.
(Or, you know, one could hypothesize Moe is just a hapless jackass.)
But hypothetical queries aside, I am wondering: How the hell can Moe afford a suit!?!!? I don’t think he’s worked a day in his whole life.
As for the abductors? They’re out-of-work Disney executives. Clearly. Although the dude looks suspiciously like Taras Kostyuk…
I could use something like one of those big foam hands that people root with at baseball games, only instead of a hand it’s Moe. I would carry it around with me everywhere I go.
I feel a little bit like I’m a cheerleader (‘Moe’leader?) whose crack cheerleading team has abandoned due to the allure of some tasty treats by the sidelines. I mean, I can do a mean one-person posting / cheerleading fest, but let’s get real here, what the people want is fireworks!!!!
It’s not so much like a cheerleading team that has been distracted by some tasty treats, as it is a cheerleading team who haven’t been to a game for six months
In this dank pit
I abide in the dark
Moe is my noah
And I am a fucking animal for his ark
This fly motherfucker is round and fantastic
His head it is bald and he most likely sucks at gymnastics
Moe he so fly
Moe he like pie
Moe is a motherfucking real cool guy
Firman is the man
The dude and the bro
A sir and a lord and an artist to ya know
He draws our man moe
With precision and grace
And writes the dopest jokes
That come at you like a bone bulge to the face
Moe he so fly
Moe he likes pie
Moe is a motherfucking real cool guy
This rap was intended
To come across as the illest
Most gangsta shit ever, your souls it would mend…ed
But my lyrical prose
Is sadly quite lacking
So I’ll sing the chorus again
And then be sent packing
Moe he so fly
Moe he likes pie
Moe is a motherfucking real cool guy
Motherfucking moe is so fly
Moe motherfucking likes pie
Moe is a…classy and polite gentleman and despite his percieved short comings in life I still see him as a hero to all us average joes and schmucks
Warning, warning, MC Bo is off his leash and spittin’ free flow verse’, getting’ all sick n’ blow’n this mic for you like a rape whistle, like, fair warning was given while noddin’ to Firman and foamin’ and formin’ another red hot glowing’ sermon fit to supersede these vermin, now he’s armin’ himself up like a beat seeking missile, taking you pound for pound and eatin’ it all even tha’ gristle. Yum! Servin’ up sum mo’ steady beats, lordy lord it’s time for a swift lock down on this verbal buffet table cause he’s transcending you gawking John Doe’s and anonymous ho’s who don’t know he connected to Moe. This boy is locked and ready to throw, ready to grow out this carbonite MOEld and straight up hustle you in your own dojo.
*Inserts annoying high pitched rap vocal chorus that is unusually catchy*
The Time for rudimentary antics is past cause your erratic ass just acquired a new gash while gettin’ grassed and look now in a static flash you’ve amassed a big ass a’ molasses that’s got your approach thrashed. Your untimely crash is direct result of what happens when the rehashed meets the unabashed n’ vast in a teeth gnashing’ clash. All you do now is stutter, quake, inebriate and wait
for the pleated, deep seated threefold arrival the main man at the top, the bossaMOEva named Moe who even prophetically fo’told yo’ loss to this kid Bo.
Oh shit; the ballots are in and sorry brother but Bo’s verbal ballad was WIN
as it turned out in the second round his lyrical mallet found your glass chin.
*Annoying rap chorus again, you’ve got headphones on so your roommates don’t judge you*
It’s aight, yank ya head out tha sand n’ crank ya neck like a fan n’ watch the little man stand -Firm’an- as he coax out n’ elicit this eva gangrenous beat that’s now and foreva claimin’ yer cold feet. But don’t be mad you can’t hack it cuz now that you humbled after you totes fumbled yah notes you can do as we do n’ watch as these never outMOEded comics get upl’MOE’aded in 5 FPS slow-mo’
While Firman smothers yer mothers and updates like slowbro
n’ in the distance he knows we acMOElytes wait in between still frames
in between changing dames and video games
that we will keep fresh postin’ positive on whims with net pseudonyms.
and wait with bated and belated breath fo’ the archival arrival of a new and Moe phresh beginning and our tribal MOEvement’s survival.
HEYLO MICHAEL FIRMEN THES ES SQUER ENUX WERE HER BECUZ WE WANT ADD MICHAEL FIRMSN MOE DOPE TO OUR NEXTUS GAME FINAL FANTSY CHRYSUS REACTOR CORE II. PLZ GET US EMAIL AT OFFICAL@SQEENIX.COM FOR OFFICL ADDITON OT JAMES
THANKZ U N BLESS U AN HAV A MARRY DAY WE LOVE YOU PLZ HAV OUR BABIES,
With sincerity and much respect,
The Staff @ Square-Enix
Hey, would you look at that … a huge, garish ad box for a buck. What say we put a little financial weight behind our empassioned pleas for more? Mayhap that will gain the attention of Rear Admiral Lord Sir Firman.
Friends, all that I wish is for new Moe. Ad space can work as donations, as in the end all that scratch goes into the coffers of our dearest friend Sir Firman, the good Admiral which guides us along the Sea of Chuckles. And meanwhile, who says that you must put up some manner of advertisement in said ad space? You can simply upload some text as a plea. And, funnily enough, the more of us which fight over getting our own idiotic drivel into the ad boxes, the higher the price. More dough for the Admiral.
Or we can have a bake sale. Whichever. I just needs me some Moe comics. Life is at least 27% worse without new Moe comics.
I wish you were better at loving us, Michael. But, we have to spend all of our time reading old VGCats comics due to the lack of updates. Scott Ramsoomair sure isn’t funny, but that doesn’t stop him from trying. Save us, Firman, from this fate worse than death!
Actually fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your point of view) I’m only doing one semester of law in my degree, which is a Bach. of Journalism (The unit was Law of Communications if you’re interested). And that was my end of semester exam (THANK YOU Southern Hemisphere) so I’ve finished with that law unit now. I actually kinda enjoyed it, in a weird way.
Frankly I’m amazed there is a lawyer who enjoys my webcomic (although I’m making an assumption there). Other professionals that would surprise me as being fans: astronaut, doctor, senator, prostitute, koala handler.
To be honest I’m surprised by any fan still! Even ignoring the abuse of my inactivity, the strip itself isn’t particularly brilliant or anything. But I’m always super glad that there are people who seem to like to see Moe bumble and bungle.
Bumble and bungle is what we’re here for. In many ways, Moe is the three stooges (representing my favorite stooge, Curly) all rolled into one. Unfortunately, I’m not a doctor, astronaut, senator, -or- prostitute. But I’m sure I can find a street corner to fill one of these boxes.
August 15th, 2011 at 1:46 am
oh heavens a new moe comic!
August 15th, 2011 at 2:46 am
/I’m/ hallucinating, methinks.
August 15th, 2011 at 3:25 am
Oh hey, this is a long comic, too. Yay!
August 15th, 2011 at 7:59 am
Holy goodnuts, Firman! It’s Moes’day!
August 15th, 2011 at 8:21 am
o.o
So many Sasquatches…
August 15th, 2011 at 11:06 am
*fist punches in the air as he drives off to work*
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
August 15th, 2011 at 1:25 pm
HUZZAH a new comic…hopefully this update is a significant trend
August 16th, 2011 at 11:46 am
Gentlemen (and Ladies), we have a new moe comic and the comments are only up to 7! This is a severe disappointment! Where is the rampaging nonsense Sir Duke Lord Firman Admiral Esquire has come to expect! Get those fingers tapping!
And then put keyboards in front of them!
August 16th, 2011 at 3:48 pm
I could dance if you like?
August 16th, 2011 at 3:49 pm
*Dance dance dance*
*Dancing*
*dances some more*
August 16th, 2011 at 8:51 pm
@Gregory
Ah, but if you round the number of comments to 100, then we’ve actually posted 100 comments! That has to be a first-day record!
August 16th, 2011 at 11:02 pm
Freako is right!
/CELEBRATE
August 16th, 2011 at 11:10 pm
/CELEBRATE
For Moe hath returned, and at 12 frames, we have received three times the normal Moe amount of four frames. That’s an increase of 300%!
I think…?
August 17th, 2011 at 12:46 am
Brilliant! But wait, actually, if you round this to the nearest 100, it’s an increase of 10000%. TEN THOUSAND PERCENT.
I wonder how much the percent increases by .gif files or flash?
August 17th, 2011 at 6:20 am
I think it’s safe to say, we have much Moe, and we should all dance.
Right now.
*Truffle shuffle*
August 18th, 2011 at 12:28 am
____ ____
( 0 ) l ( 0 )
——- } ——
_______
Do my eyes deceive me? Is this a dream? No? Oh glorious day! All beings shall romp with delight at the sight of this magnificent creation. Perhaps we will be blessed with more such as this. We shall hope and wait, for the time hath come. Rejoice!
August 18th, 2011 at 3:09 am
OH My GOSH ITS A MIKAREL
August 18th, 2011 at 7:13 am
Oh my gosh it’s a Bibarel!
August 19th, 2011 at 1:43 pm
Get the revolvers!
August 19th, 2011 at 11:04 pm
So what does the title mean?
August 20th, 2011 at 2:29 am
SYETI: SETI AND YETI. GOOGLE THEM FIRM MAN IS THE GENIUS
August 20th, 2011 at 2:44 am
Seriously, I am all about universal love but this forgiveness is perhaps beyond my understanding.
August 21st, 2011 at 7:22 am
this makes me so happy!!!
ahahahahhaa
sasquatches
August 21st, 2011 at 11:57 am
One
Two
Three
Four.
August 21st, 2011 at 4:49 pm
Five?
August 22nd, 2011 at 3:54 am
Six.
August 22nd, 2011 at 7:17 am
Sebben!
And hell, for all we knew, them babies needed eatin’
August 23rd, 2011 at 3:16 am
i dnt disierve to b eten i was sprinked an i gav my candy a way
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:00 am
Awesome! 100 new Moe comics!
Wait ….
There seems to be some sort of rounding error here.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:44 pm
Sadly, the addictive qualities of Moe comics escaped the notice of the US Food and Drug Administration. Firman’s playing us like we’re street junkies! He gives us a taste and then teases us along awhile, making us paint his fence and say kind things.
:twitch: C’mon, man! JUST ANOTHER HIT!
August 23rd, 2011 at 6:26 pm
*Turns away from the fence he was painting*
Huh? Someone say Firman?
No..guess not.
*Paints faster*
August 27th, 2011 at 12:52 pm
sorry, was extremely ill and thus a little out/off the grid.
But let us think on the current Moe’dition we have going on. Moe, our…um, well, “hero”, has been abducted while wearing a suit and is being kept in a relatively small box.
This is definitely not the first time Moe has been abducted (I count at least two with the crazy moe-cloning doctor and moe’s brief flirtation with flirtation) so we’ll argue this is just something the universe does to Moe.
But why? We may know this stuff just keeps happening (because it obviously does) but why this time? Who are these strange scientists and why have they kept Moe trapped?
DISCUSS.
August 28th, 2011 at 5:16 am
Are they really scientists? I WILL NOT CALL THEM SCIENTISTS UNTIL I SEE DEGREES
August 28th, 2011 at 12:32 pm
Further psychological evaluation is needed, but perhaps the question we should ask is whether Moe suffers from narcissistic personality disorder OR a latent martyr complex? Moe’s proclivity to find himself a victim may correlate to low self-esteem and a desire to feel needed. Then again, his overall pattern of erratic behavior and delusional conversations may suggest a prodromal phase of schizophrenic tendencies, in which case it is imperative Moe receives proper diagnosis and treatment before he enters full-blown psychosis.
(Or, you know, one could hypothesize Moe is just a hapless jackass.)
But hypothetical queries aside, I am wondering: How the hell can Moe afford a suit!?!!? I don’t think he’s worked a day in his whole life.
As for the abductors? They’re out-of-work Disney executives. Clearly. Although the dude looks suspiciously like Taras Kostyuk…
August 30th, 2011 at 7:33 am
New Moe comic? Nah, notSYETI.
August 30th, 2011 at 9:16 pm
Just read this comic again.
Laughed.
August 31st, 2011 at 9:00 pm
Know what i need?
A Moe shirt.
Yup.
September 2nd, 2011 at 2:04 pm
Hey, I’m back! Sup guys. Good to see new Moe coming our way.
September 2nd, 2011 at 2:07 pm
Woah, I can’t believe the last comic got up to almost 500 comments. I’m tickled to have participated.
September 6th, 2011 at 7:11 am
Jackanapes!
September 6th, 2011 at 4:54 pm
Reality TV! It all makes sense now!
September 6th, 2011 at 6:57 pm
I’ve been too busy to comment for like…4 days.
There have been 4 comments.
ONE COMMENT PER DAY IS NOT ENOUGH!!!
*Enters murder mode*
September 7th, 2011 at 2:27 am
comment comment comment comment
I could use something like one of those big foam hands that people root with at baseball games, only instead of a hand it’s Moe. I would carry it around with me everywhere I go.
September 7th, 2011 at 7:06 am
I would like a Moe-style shoulder parroty type thing. I could consult it whenever I had a Moral Dilemma or something.
September 7th, 2011 at 7:07 am
O “Moe”ral Dilemma perhaps.
September 7th, 2011 at 7:08 am
A “Moe”ral Dilemma perhaps.*
How did I even manage that “A” is nowhere near “O” on the keyboard.
September 7th, 2011 at 9:27 pm
Hmm, I like this, this is good, there’s a lot to be made from potential ‘Moe’chendise here. Let’s get some ideas going…
I would like a piano painted in the likeness of Moe, in such a way that the open lid is his open mouth.
September 8th, 2011 at 3:24 am
I can see a grand piano with Moe’s mouth as the keyboard. Is that what you mean or are you thinking of something different?
September 9th, 2011 at 10:08 am
Haha, it wasn’t what I meant, but I’m open to changes in plans. It’s not like I’m patenting any of this or anything…
September 10th, 2011 at 2:08 am
Firman, your fan base is legitimately worrying in their devotion to you.
September 11th, 2011 at 12:49 am
Speaking of worrying and devotion, I’m really worried at the lack of devotion that’s happening here.
Where were the good days, when I would check back every few days and there would be 2-10 new posts
September 11th, 2011 at 12:51 am
I feel a little bit like I’m a cheerleader (‘Moe’leader?) whose crack cheerleading team has abandoned due to the allure of some tasty treats by the sidelines. I mean, I can do a mean one-person posting / cheerleading fest, but let’s get real here, what the people want is fireworks!!!!
…right?
September 11th, 2011 at 2:34 am
The Absence of Posters
A Haiku, by Carp.
Graveyard posting solo
Silent website dormant, rests
Dreams of regulars
Thank you.
September 11th, 2011 at 3:06 pm
It’s not so much like a cheerleading team that has been distracted by some tasty treats, as it is a cheerleading team who haven’t been to a game for six months
September 12th, 2011 at 1:22 am
That’s ok. I can keep up this solo posting crusade as long as I have to. Morale may get low, but I am rejuvenated when I keep my cause in mind.
Plus, it’s kind of fun just kicking back around here in the name of Moe.
September 13th, 2011 at 7:15 am
It is not Moesday.
September 13th, 2011 at 4:04 pm
Never forever
Moe always returns to us
Patience, Carp, patience
September 14th, 2011 at 7:26 am
Let’s turn this into the haiku page.
September 14th, 2011 at 8:06 am
I totally geared myself up for commenting, and now I am making a comment.
A self-referential comment.
September 14th, 2011 at 9:08 am
And what a comment it was.
September 14th, 2011 at 9:08 am
I’m ok with a haiku page. They’re fun to think up.
…’Moe’ku?
September 15th, 2011 at 10:51 pm
An elusive treat
A new Moe comic for us
Our hope forever.
September 16th, 2011 at 12:09 am
Refreshing pages,
Ruminations on comics:
Patience stays with me.
September 16th, 2011 at 12:11 am
White Hero, with Bro
Gelatinous immortals
Laughter from my soul
September 16th, 2011 at 7:19 am
Dash to the website
Has Lord Firman upon us?
This is not Moes’day
September 16th, 2011 at 7:19 am
Dash to the website
Has Lord Firman *SMILED* upon us?
This is not Moes’day
Hai-goof!
September 16th, 2011 at 5:25 pm
Unfortunately I have a flu at this moment.
In fact I am going to blame the entire past year of sparse updates on this flu.
Dangin’ flu!
September 16th, 2011 at 5:26 pm
I kind of structured that like a haiku despite it totally not being one. I forgot about the game.
Because of this burpin’ flu!
September 16th, 2011 at 11:40 pm
Gossamer light glows
He has come, but wait, he disappears!
Patience rewarded.
September 17th, 2011 at 2:17 am
An immune system
Crumbles under Firman’s glory
Generations weep.
September 17th, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Still life in coffin box.
Lights, camera, watch, action.
A fool plays the fool.
September 18th, 2011 at 1:06 am
Dialogue with God:
Divine math problems, solved with
the chords of stupid.
September 18th, 2011 at 5:54 am
Each line is rounded
To one hundred beats total;
The worst Haiku ever.
September 18th, 2011 at 1:41 pm
One hundred posts, why?
Why are you so far away?
Another day passed.
September 18th, 2011 at 10:23 pm
Whats even a haiku anyways
I realize if you make it so that first and last
lines match up, it looks like one
September 19th, 2011 at 5:15 am
Best time to return to the internet, how is everyone here on firman productions? Also NEW MOE COMIC!!!!!!!!!!! Life is good
September 19th, 2011 at 7:30 am
Haikus are when you
Use five beats then seven beats then
Five again to end
Most of the time they
Tend to be awkward and they
Also don’t quite make sense
Moe is a cool thing
We all enjoy to read it
Then spam the comments
September 19th, 2011 at 7:48 am
Scour the grove of oranges
Lord Firman has influenza
Leave no stone unturned
September 19th, 2011 at 10:57 pm
Almighty onrush
Of ten thousand Moe haikus;
My dreams meet real life.
September 19th, 2011 at 10:58 pm
Thanks for helping me
In the creation of these
Odes to Moe, you guys!
September 20th, 2011 at 9:34 am
Haikus have subjects
About which they are written
We all write of Moe.
September 20th, 2011 at 5:46 pm
The support will never
Ever ever. Ever ever. Ever ever. Ever
End. For our Lord Firman.
September 21st, 2011 at 6:53 am
Something something some,
Something something something some;
Something something some.
September 21st, 2011 at 9:06 pm
I like this new God character. Please don’t kill him off.
September 22nd, 2011 at 9:30 pm
Looks like potato
With eyes, a nose and a mouth
Bit of a doofus
Makes for funny jokes
Perhaps a good role model
Terrible father
September 22nd, 2011 at 11:58 pm
Gents, I’ve a request;
I require an assistance,
A query to all:
The name of a hat
Russian in its origins
Once worn in the past
by our hero, Moe,
In a glowing moment of
His hilarity.
September 22nd, 2011 at 11:58 pm
(christ, that was tricky in haiku form)
September 24th, 2011 at 12:40 am
Most impressive, Carp
You have raised the bar too high.
Fly on wings, I must.
September 25th, 2011 at 11:51 am
Carp, I can help you
The name of that Russian cap
Was/is “ushanka”
September 25th, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Woah Firman, you’re alive!
When do we get to see Moe being summoned to the Problem Sleuth universe!
September 26th, 2011 at 2:25 am
Niklink, care your words.
Without haiku, He won’t hear.
Without haiku, ever.
September 26th, 2011 at 7:26 am
Sir Archduke Firman
Today is not yet Moes’day
We wait patiently
September 26th, 2011 at 8:24 am
On Firman’s Twitter,
He spoke of the Counter that
is Strike, in few words.
Those words related
To the length of time until
The release of it
But do we really
Need to have another one
At all, if ever?
September 26th, 2011 at 4:08 pm
While a new comic
May fall upon my eyes, like
A visual cake,
Feast for the senses;
I am a man who has grown
Nearly, completely
satisfied. I care
not to seem greedy, and I
enjoy what I have.
September 26th, 2011 at 4:10 pm
Thanks to Firman
For answering that riddle,
Evasive, nagging.
September 27th, 2011 at 6:02 pm
I have returned here
For a simple, brief moment
And will make a Haiku
September 28th, 2011 at 12:20 pm
Whaddup, Superduck,
It’s kind of been a long while.
Please return to us soon.
September 28th, 2011 at 4:48 pm
Return to us, soon,
One and all, leave and return
Go, bring word of Moe.
September 29th, 2011 at 5:39 am
Close to one hundred,
our comments continue to
grow and multiply.
September 29th, 2011 at 5:40 am
I wish to have the
Sacred one hundredth comment;
None stand in my way.
September 29th, 2011 at 3:38 pm
With shining spear and,
magic helmet, his eyes clear
Ton leads us forward.
September 30th, 2011 at 4:01 am
With Carp and Haiku
And also Superduck’s Ghost,
We all shall succeed.
(and also everyone else as well but try doing a haiku with everyone’s name in it JEEZ)
September 30th, 2011 at 11:02 pm
A brief haiku break
From a busy day schedule
Waiting for Moes’day
No page yet appears
However, a lack of rage
Soul soothed by haiku
September 30th, 2011 at 11:13 pm
Perhaps, underneath,
We are all a little bit Moe.
Moe’mentary lapse?
October 1st, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Snerky has wisdom.
Moes’day comes as we wait here.
Our poetry – song.
October 3rd, 2011 at 11:28 pm
Our total comments
When rounded to one hundred,
Equal one hundred.
(Wait has someone already made that comment/haiku?)
October 4th, 2011 at 12:14 am
Dammit, not again.
Is the comic dead or not?
Quit riding the fence.
October 4th, 2011 at 11:49 am
Be patient Falos –
Together we can relax,
Read poems and wait.
October 4th, 2011 at 5:04 pm
Carp is right, again.
Falos, we all feel the loss.
But we trust. And write.
October 4th, 2011 at 6:02 pm
Great expectations,
Heaped upon any great work,
can be dangerous.
Truer compassion
Arises out of patience
And understanding.
(wow, this is getting pretty zen)
October 4th, 2011 at 6:04 pm
White consumes my eyes –
Figures of humorous speech;
A forever grin.
October 4th, 2011 at 6:06 pm
You know, I always
Sort of figured ‘Ton’ was ‘Tom’
Not quite the case, wooops
October 4th, 2011 at 6:09 pm
A haiku machine
With a soft, white idiot
Living in the heart
October 5th, 2011 at 3:01 am
My name is the name
Of a character from a
series of novels.
I quite enjoyed those
So I now use the name and
don’t think of my own.
Sometimes haiku is
A difficult medium
To tell stories in
(But sometimes I mean all the time)
October 5th, 2011 at 3:01 am
(By* sometimes I mean all the time)
October 5th, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Agreed, Sir Phanan;
When it comes to haiku talk,
Things can be tricky.
October 6th, 2011 at 3:14 am
Like a traveller
Stranded on an island
With nought but hot sand
Except; not water
The thing that I am lacking
My thirst is for Moe
October 6th, 2011 at 3:20 am
Everybody,
How was your day? Good I hope.
I’m out of haikus.
October 7th, 2011 at 1:25 am
My day was okay
I got all my filming done
For schoolwork I had
The final product
That I (we) have created;
Must never reveal.
October 8th, 2011 at 3:57 am
Today I did work
Because I was at my work,
I think jobs are lame.
October 8th, 2011 at 1:04 pm
Today I work too
It will probably be tough
But I need the cash…
October 8th, 2011 at 9:44 pm
I was sent home quick
My presence was not needed
But now I’ve no cash.
October 8th, 2011 at 10:38 pm
*PULLS OUT HIS OWN BEATING HEART AND CLUTCHES IT IN HIS RAISED HAND TRIUMPHANTLY*
FIRMAN!
MAKE A COMIC.
THIS HURTS ALOT…
October 10th, 2011 at 1:49 am
Edward Banana
What strange actions you have here.
Refrigerator.
October 10th, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Mister Banana, sir
I fear that the next issue
You may not witness
Removing organs
Is somewhat detrimental
To your poor lifespan
Maybe, instead of
showcasing messy innards
Be patient and wait?
October 10th, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Patience is good here.
A virtue that Lord Firman
Has in abundance.
October 10th, 2011 at 2:53 pm
(Please, Lord Firman, please)
(Do not strike this servant down)
(Joke only. Forgiveness?)
October 10th, 2011 at 2:57 pm
This birthday of mine,
But twenty-two days away,
All I wish for: Moe.
October 10th, 2011 at 7:20 pm
Conversing in hai
ku. Because hey, what else are
you going to do?
October 10th, 2011 at 7:21 pm
Hm. I did not know
Haiku was so contagious.
This bears investigation
October 11th, 2011 at 10:03 am
Speaking in haiku
Gives the chance for words both short
and sharply pointed.
October 11th, 2011 at 5:26 pm
Wit is required
Also a large, extensive
Repertoire of words
October 11th, 2011 at 7:31 pm
The internet is
A resource of many words
Congratulations.
October 12th, 2011 at 1:58 am
A compendium
of speech is not called
for in the haiku;
Instead, a way of
line rearrangement and thought;
Word frugality.
October 12th, 2011 at 2:01 am
The haiku would seem
A poetic windfall, words
And dreams; concise glow.
October 12th, 2011 at 2:06 am
Though it may be that
My speech evolves pretentious,
too greatly snobbish –
If I’ve ushered in
irritation and cold ire,
I apologize.
October 12th, 2011 at 2:13 am
Inspiration flashes
Tempest-like, typing keystrokes
And poems appear:
Flow, unstoppable.
The verses refuse to stay
bottled, thus they flood –
And so I relax
And express Moe ardour as
Deification.
October 12th, 2011 at 2:15 am
(the first line of of the previous 3-haiku post should read “Inspiration flash”, not flashes. I strictly observe the haiku code of conduct)
October 12th, 2011 at 2:17 am
Waffles, I love ’em,
Could use a couple right now
Honey in my heart.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:17 am
Waiting for new Moe;
The comments flood with Haiku,
A true show of faith.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:22 am
Those who wait with calm;
Fill this empty space with thoughts
In form of Haiku.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:23 am
Simplicity is
The true key to the art of
Meaningful Haiku
October 12th, 2011 at 7:24 am
Mind must be at peace;
Then Haiku may be written,
And Moe accepted.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:45 am
I have one regret.
I did not comment on Moe,
Began to this year.
(Okay, that one was a bit of a stretch. TO BED WITH ME)
October 14th, 2011 at 12:23 am
Buff Buffalo Buff
Buffalo Buffalo Buff
Buffalo Buff Buff
October 14th, 2011 at 11:51 am
How many days till then?
A birthday request was made.
Candle vigil hold.
October 14th, 2011 at 7:58 pm
Bright strike of lightning,
Speedy movement of neutrons:
Inspires poems
In a blitzkrieg form,
Steady admiration for
Our fair man Firman.
October 14th, 2011 at 8:01 pm
By blitzkrieg form, I
Refer to my tendency
For too many words:
Cramming much too much
Substance and adoration
In multiple posts.
October 14th, 2011 at 10:43 pm
This haiku thing is
Pretty catchy, isn’t it guys.
But nothing beats Moe.
October 15th, 2011 at 3:05 am
One hundred fifty –
A quasi-landmark number,
Taken by this Carp.
October 15th, 2011 at 3:24 am
You guys are so silly.
Did I miss the rap-off already? I’m assuming rap-offs always occur before haiku-offs… I mean NATURALLY you’d expect that.
Because basically I’ve got some phresh beatz for the house. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep them chained down.
October 15th, 2011 at 3:25 am
Also I suck at doing Haiku.
October 15th, 2011 at 8:53 pm
Haiku invites you
Empty your mind and join us.
Next Moe will be Rap.
October 18th, 2011 at 2:55 am
MIKAEL FIRMAN PLZ REPOST COMICZ NEWZ PLZ
October 18th, 2011 at 3:02 am
That man right there
He scares me, this man, he does
But his faith is strong.
October 19th, 2011 at 6:07 am
The Haikus on Moe,
Are the same as the comments;
They ebb and they flow.
(Holy flip that RHYMED… kinda)
October 19th, 2011 at 10:39 am
moe comment firman
carp phanan superduck
tag cloud based haiku
October 20th, 2011 at 7:44 am
I think that I shall never see
A poem as lovely as a new Moe comic
Yeah … I suck at the Poet class. Time to reroll.
October 20th, 2011 at 9:03 pm
Fren do not despair.
Haiku lives in all of us.
Like an alien in sleep.
October 21st, 2011 at 7:37 am
P’moe’etry, as you can see, is a thing that comes not easy to me.
October 21st, 2011 at 12:36 pm
Wait and you will see,
That patience is virtuous.
And thus here I wait.
October 21st, 2011 at 12:37 pm
(kinda wish i could edit a ; in at the end of the second line….. whooooops)
October 21st, 2011 at 12:40 pm
Unwavering Faith;
One hundred and sixty-three
Comments are the proof.
October 22nd, 2011 at 1:05 am
Waiting: comfy chair
Hot chocolate, a good book.
Patience is easy.
October 22nd, 2011 at 1:14 am
Fren, you must regress:
Spiral into your dormant
Inner Subconsciousness –
And there, finding pools:
Solitary, vast, breathing,
Yet thriving with words,
Draw from your mind’s well
Drink the elixir, and find
Poems roam within.
October 22nd, 2011 at 1:16 am
Haiku provides me
An excuse to ruminate,
In ways novel, fun.
October 22nd, 2011 at 1:17 am
Not once do I cease
To be amazed at this force
Of prolonged fandom.
October 22nd, 2011 at 1:27 am
Hark! The angels speak
In kingdoms lofty, holy;
Whispers of new Moe.
So tantalizing!
Thus, the effect of the wait –
Constant suspenses;
But so the comic
Graces us with its beauty,
Eventually –
The divine will done,
Firman senesces briefly;
A well-earned slumber
‘Til the next coming
Whence the sky’s denizens smile –
And joy makes us smile.
October 22nd, 2011 at 1:29 am
Hyperbolic poems:
Avalanche of conception –
Snowballing sans hold.
October 22nd, 2011 at 1:32 am
Guys, it’s a lot of
Fun revelling in poems,
And writing them, too!
October 24th, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Carp…
Wow.
October 24th, 2011 at 10:34 pm
Ha! Yeah, it’s true I
Probably do this too much…
But I won’t stop now!
October 24th, 2011 at 10:40 pm
Lie I shall not do,
But confusing this site is
On a mobile phone.
October 25th, 2011 at 10:07 am
HEY GUYZ ITS ME MIHAEL FORMAN IM WORKIN ON A NEW COMMIC SO ILl bRbWITH NEW MOE
October 26th, 2011 at 3:14 am
Imposter, he is.
The one and only is one
And only, he is. Yay.
October 26th, 2011 at 6:56 pm
Another haiku,
Added to an unchanging
Count of one hundred.
October 26th, 2011 at 7:13 pm
Seasons slowly fade.
A change vibrates through air, as
Foliage ages.
The seasons grow old;
Time progresses as it does:
Surely, steadily.
The world thus revolves:
A smooth constancy of facts,
Bearing us with it.
And sure as this surge,
New Moe becomes bittersweet;
A two-bladed edge:
An indicator
Of time lost and past, although
A thing of comfort;
A communal glee
A reminder to smile in
The Gray-ness of time.
October 26th, 2011 at 7:18 pm
I wonder what about
This site makes me want to wax
poetic, always.
October 26th, 2011 at 11:42 pm
I dwell / amidst the abounding / light of heaven ~ haiku
October 28th, 2011 at 3:23 am
In this dank pit
I abide in the dark
Moe is my noah
And I am a fucking animal for his ark
This fly motherfucker is round and fantastic
His head it is bald and he most likely sucks at gymnastics
Moe he so fly
Moe he like pie
Moe is a motherfucking real cool guy
Firman is the man
The dude and the bro
A sir and a lord and an artist to ya know
He draws our man moe
With precision and grace
And writes the dopest jokes
That come at you like a bone bulge to the face
Moe he so fly
Moe he likes pie
Moe is a motherfucking real cool guy
This rap was intended
To come across as the illest
Most gangsta shit ever, your souls it would mend…ed
But my lyrical prose
Is sadly quite lacking
So I’ll sing the chorus again
And then be sent packing
Moe he so fly
Moe he likes pie
Moe is a motherfucking real cool guy
Motherfucking moe is so fly
Moe motherfucking likes pie
Moe is a…classy and polite gentleman and despite his percieved short comings in life I still see him as a hero to all us average joes and schmucks
Wikki wikki woo mother-“f”a
October 28th, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Well I had once thought
That the rap page would be next
But it doesn’t matter;
Rap can still be a
Different sort of poem
To venerate Moe.
October 28th, 2011 at 1:53 pm
(That said, well done Omi)
October 29th, 2011 at 4:22 am
Warning, warning, MC Bo is off his leash and spittin’ free flow verse’, getting’ all sick n’ blow’n this mic for you like a rape whistle, like, fair warning was given while noddin’ to Firman and foamin’ and formin’ another red hot glowing’ sermon fit to supersede these vermin, now he’s armin’ himself up like a beat seeking missile, taking you pound for pound and eatin’ it all even tha’ gristle. Yum! Servin’ up sum mo’ steady beats, lordy lord it’s time for a swift lock down on this verbal buffet table cause he’s transcending you gawking John Doe’s and anonymous ho’s who don’t know he connected to Moe. This boy is locked and ready to throw, ready to grow out this carbonite MOEld and straight up hustle you in your own dojo.
*Inserts annoying high pitched rap vocal chorus that is unusually catchy*
The Time for rudimentary antics is past cause your erratic ass just acquired a new gash while gettin’ grassed and look now in a static flash you’ve amassed a big ass a’ molasses that’s got your approach thrashed. Your untimely crash is direct result of what happens when the rehashed meets the unabashed n’ vast in a teeth gnashing’ clash. All you do now is stutter, quake, inebriate and wait
for the pleated, deep seated threefold arrival the main man at the top, the bossaMOEva named Moe who even prophetically fo’told yo’ loss to this kid Bo.
Oh shit; the ballots are in and sorry brother but Bo’s verbal ballad was WIN
as it turned out in the second round his lyrical mallet found your glass chin.
*Annoying rap chorus again, you’ve got headphones on so your roommates don’t judge you*
It’s aight, yank ya head out tha sand n’ crank ya neck like a fan n’ watch the little man stand -Firm’an- as he coax out n’ elicit this eva gangrenous beat that’s now and foreva claimin’ yer cold feet. But don’t be mad you can’t hack it cuz now that you humbled after you totes fumbled yah notes you can do as we do n’ watch as these never outMOEded comics get upl’MOE’aded in 5 FPS slow-mo’
While Firman smothers yer mothers and updates like slowbro
n’ in the distance he knows we acMOElytes wait in between still frames
in between changing dames and video games
that we will keep fresh postin’ positive on whims with net pseudonyms.
and wait with bated and belated breath fo’ the archival arrival of a new and Moe phresh beginning and our tribal MOEvement’s survival.
*throws mic to someone*
October 29th, 2011 at 11:31 pm
What has begun here
What music doth break yonder?
Great insanity
November 1st, 2011 at 12:04 am
Happy Halloween
November 1st, 2011 at 4:54 am
Yo Haiku!Thanks, but
It looks like you posted that
On November First…
😛
November 1st, 2011 at 12:48 pm
We would all appreciate a Happy Moe’vember present of a new comic . . .
November 1st, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Some of my comics
Seem kind of dead recently
So it’s not just Moe
November 3rd, 2011 at 2:06 am
Moe’vember is great.
Our best invention to date.
Now, Moe come back please.
November 3rd, 2011 at 2:49 am
HEYLO MICHAEL FIRMEN THES ES SQUER ENUX WERE HER BECUZ WE WANT ADD MICHAEL FIRMSN MOE DOPE TO OUR NEXTUS GAME FINAL FANTSY CHRYSUS REACTOR CORE II. PLZ GET US EMAIL AT OFFICAL@SQEENIX.COM FOR OFFICL ADDITON OT JAMES
THANKZ U N BLESS U AN HAV A MARRY DAY WE LOVE YOU PLZ HAV OUR BABIES,
With sincerity and much respect,
The Staff @ Square-Enix
November 3rd, 2011 at 7:26 am
Hey, would you look at that … a huge, garish ad box for a buck. What say we put a little financial weight behind our empassioned pleas for more? Mayhap that will gain the attention of Rear Admiral Lord Sir Firman.
November 5th, 2011 at 3:39 pm
A capital idea, Fren. (Pun intended)
I’ll investigate.
November 6th, 2011 at 12:15 am
I’m slow on these things.
November 6th, 2011 at 9:41 pm
Honestly, donations would be preferable to ad space
November 7th, 2011 at 9:06 am
Friends, all that I wish is for new Moe. Ad space can work as donations, as in the end all that scratch goes into the coffers of our dearest friend Sir Firman, the good Admiral which guides us along the Sea of Chuckles. And meanwhile, who says that you must put up some manner of advertisement in said ad space? You can simply upload some text as a plea. And, funnily enough, the more of us which fight over getting our own idiotic drivel into the ad boxes, the higher the price. More dough for the Admiral.
Or we can have a bake sale. Whichever. I just needs me some Moe comics. Life is at least 27% worse without new Moe comics.
November 8th, 2011 at 1:24 am
I wish I was better at website code crap. I want to sleek this mofo up and make it serve as a better hub for all the stuff I work on.
November 8th, 2011 at 8:34 am
Raise the flag and have your radioman start jamming out the SOS, Admiral. There’s many a goodship in the webcomickin’ fleet that may come to your aid!
November 8th, 2011 at 8:35 am
Which is to say that I know not shit of this new-fangled webbin’ site code. Best I had was a retarded Tripod page way back when. Embedded midi. Woo!
November 8th, 2011 at 8:22 pm
I wish you were better at loving us, Michael. But, we have to spend all of our time reading old VGCats comics due to the lack of updates. Scott Ramsoomair sure isn’t funny, but that doesn’t stop him from trying. Save us, Firman, from this fate worse than death!
November 9th, 2011 at 5:56 am
The post two hundred,
A milestone that is passed;
Website code discussed.
November 12th, 2011 at 6:20 pm
A milestone is moved.
Endless expanse is just ahead.
A single step journey begins.
November 14th, 2011 at 4:37 am
Never going to give you up…
November 14th, 2011 at 7:39 am
MOE MOE, where did you go!!!!
November 14th, 2011 at 2:35 pm
I am still around
Brief respite for school matters
Bear with me a bit
November 14th, 2011 at 2:38 pm
…never going to let you down
November 14th, 2011 at 7:50 pm
Never going to
Run around, and desert you
– Song by Rick Astley
November 15th, 2011 at 3:28 pm
Lord Firman is here.
Deviant Art displays his greatness there.
Look left and comment, yo.
(And Fir-man is technically two syllables, I guess it matters if we’re pronouncing it quickly or in the honorific)
November 16th, 2011 at 8:37 am
The full honorific for Firman would be a haiku unto itself.
November 16th, 2011 at 10:09 pm
POINT.
November 16th, 2011 at 11:22 pm
Should someone wish to
grant to Firman a fitting
title, it might be:
The Greatly Esteemed
Comic-Master-in-Command
Coercer of Arts
Webmaster-Captain
Artists of the Online Courts
General Firman.
November 16th, 2011 at 11:22 pm
(that should be *artist of the online courts. oops)
November 18th, 2011 at 1:15 am
It is beautiful, Carp. Fear not.
November 19th, 2011 at 8:13 pm
And Moe shall return
November 19th, 2011 at 8:49 pm
A difficult foe,
Requires much preparation:
Dreaded Law Exam.
November 19th, 2011 at 8:50 pm
Procrastination:
Cause for hope in the present;
Despair in future.
November 21st, 2011 at 5:00 pm
Ton Phanan: stick with it! I have successfully conquered 3 years of law exams + the bar. I would say “it gets better”, but I’m not sure it does… ?
November 22nd, 2011 at 7:40 am
Actually fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your point of view) I’m only doing one semester of law in my degree, which is a Bach. of Journalism (The unit was Law of Communications if you’re interested). And that was my end of semester exam (THANK YOU Southern Hemisphere) so I’ve finished with that law unit now. I actually kinda enjoyed it, in a weird way.
November 22nd, 2011 at 9:50 am
Frankly I’m amazed there is a lawyer who enjoys my webcomic (although I’m making an assumption there). Other professionals that would surprise me as being fans: astronaut, doctor, senator, prostitute, koala handler.
November 22nd, 2011 at 9:59 am
I am an Australian.
That and Koala Handler are pretty much the same thing.
November 22nd, 2011 at 10:36 am
To be honest I’m surprised by any fan still! Even ignoring the abuse of my inactivity, the strip itself isn’t particularly brilliant or anything. But I’m always super glad that there are people who seem to like to see Moe bumble and bungle.
November 22nd, 2011 at 3:17 pm
Bumble and bungle is what we’re here for. In many ways, Moe is the three stooges (representing my favorite stooge, Curly) all rolled into one. Unfortunately, I’m not a doctor, astronaut, senator, -or- prostitute. But I’m sure I can find a street corner to fill one of these boxes.
November 23rd, 2011 at 9:19 am
Comments motoring
along soothingly, pleasant
consistency here.
November 23rd, 2011 at 9:20 am
No matter how hard
I try, I just can’t seem to
Ditch the haiku form.
November 23rd, 2011 at 9:22 am
Not that I am irked
By this addiction of mine.
Haikus are quite fun.
November 23rd, 2011 at 9:18 pm
I tried to write a haiku about a street prostitute who was a fan of Moe, but it always ended up sounding like Moe or Firman was their pimp.
November 23rd, 2011 at 9:18 pm
Pimp and/or client.
It was a territory that probably shouldn’t be entered, really.
November 24th, 2011 at 3:12 pm
A holiday to share with
My best friends across the web here.
Happy Thanksgiving
November 25th, 2011 at 7:15 am
Yeah so I bought VVVVVV in the Steam Sale because I remember someone here recommending it.
Um, yeah. Not much else to say.
November 25th, 2011 at 6:09 pm
Oh goodness gracious
A long dry spell, in laptops;
New hardware secured-
A return to Moe.
Long awaited haiku binge.
We’re still doing this!?
And yet, now, relief.
Truly, haiku are my home.
I have returned, friends.
November 25th, 2011 at 11:00 pm
Good to see you Snerk!
Although some have broken free
Of the haiku rule,
I have chosen to
Post in the same haiku form
As started before.
November 26th, 2011 at 3:50 am
Sometimes things are hard
To communicate in the
Form of the Haiku
To break rank and rules
And to speak simply can be
Easier to some.
November 26th, 2011 at 7:55 am
(That’s eas-i-er by the way I guess I was stretching the syllables a little on that one)
February 22nd, 2017 at 9:31 pm
This means that number of species in the universe (expressed by n) is n>100.