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(In this metaphor, God is Firman and he has proved his existance via the comic, but SIMILARLY God is mentioned in the comic, so it is a double entandre(?))
Oh, and thinking about it (sorry, I’m multi-posting) I love the fact when God actually answers you (directly!) he then denies you. It’s like getting a birthday present that turns out to be your heart’s desire and then the box is empty. Burn!
(It is important to note that i am currently wearing a smart suit and am stood in a courtroom while doing that.)
To make a million updates would KILL the aforementioned Mr For,am.
I propose a sequencial, rather mroe frequent amount of updates, each with a payment of at least 30 comments and consiquensial fan-art!
YOUR HONOR! *points in opposite direction but no less dramatically*
The undead have no right to object to aforementioned one million updates as they have shrugged off their corporeal form and thus left all their rights to this, the living world, behind.
*Gregory would answer Superduck, if he could. His voice would be regal, authoritative, and ringing with the sounds of justice and duty. But Gregory can not answer Superduck. No, Captain Gregory Long (Shanks) Fellow, righteously defending his piratical way of life against government, Duke Sir Herr Lord Firman Esquire, and ninjas, has been shot. We now return you to your regular viewing program*
Pond: The man kills one of MY men, walks in to MY station, and takes MY files, and you have NOTHING?!?!
Pond smashes his wing hard into the desk beside him, shattering the center into thousands of pieces and leaving the cracked halves to fall to the ground, scattering the owners paperwork across the floor.
Pond: Now AS YOU KNOW, I am a VERY…dangerous fowl, and the next person who tells me they have NOTHING better have a DAMN GOOD REASON or desks aren’t the ONLY thing that’s gonna crack around here! And that person better not be the backstabbing two timing NO BRAIN SUNOFFABITCH who DID all this or I SWEAR I’ll tear his godamn ARMS off and BEAT HIM TO DEATH WITH THEM!
He swiftly slides to the right, then over-head wheel-kicks one of the two remaining halves of the desk, slding upright and roundhousing the other across the room, narrowly missing one of the office staff and decimating the furnishing.
Pond: If our half-wit half-usefull NO-BRAINED janitor isn’t in this room in the next five minutes, I’m gonna need a coffin and a new janitor to clean up the mess!
And with that, he stormed into his office, pushing over an adjacent filing cabinet outside, then very gently opening and closing the old oak door as a painful silence purmiated the room.
I stopped keeping up with it partway through season 5 I think, but I’m a fan of the show and will catch up eventually!
I usually prefer to watch a series when its completed so that I can marathon it and not have to wait for new episodes (which risks me falling out of sync with the flow of the storyline, and then wanting to start over from the beginning).
I’ve heard nothing but good things about Supernatural (with the exception of the latest seasons). Currently I’m addicted to watching “How i met your mother” (up to Season 3). Any opinions?
I have never watched it, and was refering to my encorpeal form. I have actually heard nothing but bad things about it, not my cup of tea anyway. My cup of tea is a cup of apple tea! Mmmmm…
i have only heard bad things about the show supernatural, and after having seen a few episodes i kind of agreed with those opinions but ya know whatever, now in regards to HIMYM it is an incredibly sub par sitcom, it does however have 2 redeeming characters, barney, who is amazing simply for being neil patrick harris and lily (simply because allyson hannigan is still as ridiculously hot as she was all those years ago in buffy), now my current favourite shows are being human, the wire, and shameless. misfits is allright i guess but shameless is still the original and the best in my opinion.
Most of what I’ve heard about Supernatural was positive, but not necessarily “Best Show Ever” type praise – just “it deserves to be on television more than other shows I can think of” type praise.
And I’ve heard nothing but good things about HIMYM. Which goes against what I think of it, because it always felt kinda average.
But neither of those shows compare to my all time favourite… Doctor Who.
But doing the whole season marathon thing that Lord Sir Herr Firman does is where it is at.
Oh, and not to derail the topic at all, but I’m almost a 100% sure that “God” is a person who’s going to free Moe from that box. Assuming it’s not a cardboard box; also assuming Moe will still need help getting free of it.
Man, Moe has been in so many ludicrous situations, i bet he has God on speed dial by now.
“God, if you can hear me, i need…”
“*Sigh…* What is it THIS time Moe?”
“I’m being eaten by this shark!”
“Here’s a harpoon, go nuts”
“Thanks God! Now if only he had given me an oxygen mask…”
I must serendipitously protest! The good Lord Sir Dr Firman Senior PHD will certainly, and with great haste, accept our heartiest invitations to join our tomfoolery should he be inclined, and would if anything be perturbed by your summoning shenanigans!
Quicknote, ye old English and the kings English are not the same.
Doth, thou, doest are from ye old English, kings uses long complicated words and sound ludicrously posh and silly!
Forsooth verily, wouldst thou be spoke of verbages both old and new, both regional and abroad, raisteth the conflict between houses and dividing all from few? Nay, good sir, have at thee. No such poppycock shall thus befall.
(In other news, who hopes for tomorrow being Moe’s Day?)
Then rest your tongue young squire. I find that peforming such dialect takes thought and pronunciation, and may therefore be a difficult passtime for one who is not accustomed to it’s use. Still! You may learn some adequate amounts about it while we indulge ourselves within this silliness!
I believe that all able-bodied persons may participate in this exhilarant discourse, regardless of proficiency with the chosen dialect!
Alas Superduck, my deceased fowl friend, it appears an apostrophe has slithered into your statement, revising its location to a place it has no right to be!
Nay, that is not what I meant! Anyone may participate, though those of weaker understanding may simply learn to articulate in this manner profficiently!
Do not missunserstand me fellows!
one is confused as to the intent and purpose of the current actions that you fellows and myself find ourselves doing. in addition one must wonder wether or not the proposition put forward previously was ever passed and if so one must also wonder if it shall be inacted presently? good day sir!
I propose that those of a so-called “weaker understanding” of the dialect in which we conduct our discourse be further referred to as those of a “altered understanding” when it comes to the lexicon of our conversing!
And I also propose that those of a altered understanding should feel free to coalesce to our rhetoric regardless of their levels of comprehension, because simple observation will serve no aid to their cause what-so-ever, as participation is a far more valuable teacher than cognition!
And as to the purpose of our cause, there is naught! Nil! Zilch! Our activity is purely frivolous! Which is what makes it all the more spiffing!
And whilst the proposition may still in the present time remain in limbo, it appears enacted amongst those who have already voted in favour!
Gosh I sure do write a lot and never use full stops!
full stops are not the way of the dapper genteel, no sir! exclamations of a proud and dignified manor and inquiries that show the desire to further ones own knowledge of a large variety of topics are the only ways for men of dignity to discourse. also with large strings of expletived when they stub their toe or someone breaks their monocle, I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN FILTHY PEASANT FUCKS BREAK MY FUCKING MONOCLE AND I HAVE TO STAB THE PIECE OF SHIT CUNT FUCK WHORE IN THE FUCKING FACE WITH MY CANE, IT RUINS MY CAN AND THEN I HAVE ALL THESE BITCH ARSE CUM-MUPPETS TRYING TO YELL AT ME FOR STABBING THE MONOCLE BREAKING PEASANT CUNT UP SO I HAVE TO STAB THEM UP TOO AND MY ARM GETS TIRED OF STABBING. I FUCKING HATE THAT. um good day sirs
Children may read this forum! Moe is for everyone! And seriously, where are your pills? I really want to know. I do. You need to stop stop taking them.
Well at least we can look forward to next Moesday. Er, I mean…*ahem*…per chance, mine future, twixt all its brilliant white, will be shown over Moenext, a albino of delight. But should he not reveal himself, a thought clear to me as fright; perhaps I’ll see Moe again, when I sleep in eternal night.
Thank you, thank you…no, no, you’re far too kind…oh, thank you, thank you, thank you
Just checking in. Also, I’ve decided I’m opting out of this whole olde english business. For now. Perhaps. Possibly. Inspiration does work in mysterious ways, though…
You don the cap and your manner sweeps the room like a hot wind on a cold day. You stike a pose and look hard boiled. You are angry, as usual, so you light up a smoke. You are now Detective SuperDuck!
You leap across the room effortlessly!
*Strong leap!*
The door opens to reveal the stairwell to the lower floor and you tumble down.
It keeps happening!
There’s a number of bugs that have been evident on this site for years now. I am SO BAD at code and web design. I’ve tried a few times to start a fresh look and it just makes my brain explode.
You guys are the swellest, I can’t thank you enough for believing in Moe! I will do right by you eventually, I swear! Past while I’ve been bogged down with rush commission jobs and stuff.
Oh god why the hell did it do that /)_-
This keyboard is so… oh HI!
Uuuh.
Yeah i can’t see any errors. If you point them out in more detail i could take a look, i know a few things about HTML but i’m just a beginner so don’t expect the miracles to flow like a running gag D:
I haven’t seen any errors on the site itself, but taking a glance through the source code I find it interesting that the avatar code for commenters is still there. WordPress imposing itself I suppose?
Any page of isolated content that isn’t a comic, like an article or newsbit, has one of the sidebars just dominate the entire width of the page (in Firefox, at least). Throughout my ignorant attempts at fixing it, I somehow broke the footer container too and that kept messing up, which is why the (out of date, oops!) copyright info is now on the left sidebar.
I’m like that senile dude in Seinfeld who tried to fix cars by just banging the engine with a wrench repeatedly.
He’s at it again! First the ridiculous deliveries and now again with the noise! If this continues you may just go over there and politely discuss the problem…with your fists.
You get up. Your hat is crumpled so you right it. Your health pond is almost dried up, so you light up a smoke and invigorate yourself.
You then stroll downstairs into the main lobby. The front door has been boarded up from the inside, and the outside for protection.
You’ll show that murderer who has the balls around here >,,<
You assault each of the seven to nine heads (it’s dark in here and you’re kind of busy so who’s to say how many there are) with the firmament of tightly coiled print. Tibbles, the hydra, recoils its bruised nosi.
You do this just in time to get bludgeoned by the creatures tail, and knocked through the floor into the basement!
You crash into the floor with a mighty bump.
It’s hard to type music, but that was “Dave owns” adapted with quacking.
You tip your hat in readiness for the brawling you intend to bring down on this poor creature. he does even know what’s about to hit it! Your going to beat the evalovin shit out of it, and then do that again!
You make the artists pain.
One must always suffer for his art. Or make those around him suffer with it.
In this instance, you decide to go with the latter.
You think that you shall curl up in the foetal position under your desk.
Which isn’t actually a desk.
It was just a picture on the wall, designed and created so that anyone who was exactly 5’11” who walked through the exact centre of the door frame and was parallel to the back wall and looking straight at the left corner of the desk would believe it were real.
Had it been coloured in.
You forget what you were doing due to the long description of that thing that just happened.
You wonder why the fridge had nothing but melons inside. You keep getting shipments of these things and you can’t possibly eat them all. At least the newspaper will come in handy for domesticating Tibbles.
That doesn’t even make sense, and it looks like someone already beat you to it.
Every one of his throats has been cut, and he has been shot several times.
You shed yet another tear. You are starting to run out of bodily fluids.
You can’t. They have clearly already fled the scene, and something large and metallic is blocking the hole in the wall now. It’s also hard to concentrate with all this blood on the floor, some has seeped down the hole in the floor into the basement but it’s starting to pool. You need a cleaner of some sort. A man who has been forcibly conscripted into a janitorial trade. You need to become…
You have no computer! Not even in your office.
You should get hold of someone for that task.
Now, where is that janitor. There is going to be more than just Hydra blood on the floor in here if he doesn’t come and clean up all this…well…hydra blood.
You can’t find clues without someone to insult or push around.
You should go and find someone to help you do things.
For that matter, where IS everyone. You have an elite work force and they have all vanished.
You decide to bust some heads. And some walls.
You go back upstairs into the bull pen.
Everyone is gone. The desks are all broken.
The doors are locked, except for yours which has been smashed into millions of pieces.
No one must be louder than you and your shenanigans.
You have all the loudness and obnoxiousness.
All of it.
TP: Prove to other residents that there is only room for one overly loud and obnoxious person in this facility, and that person is you.
May 27th, 2011 at 6:09 am
This plan is going to require some serious FORETHOUGHT.
Greg is sat at his desk, angrilly eyeing his picture of a desk, seemingly lost in thought.
There are also melons splattered on the roof.
Appart from that, his room is pretty empty. He never bothered to buy any furnature, and his phone is simply sat in the corner.
This isn’t going to happen on your watch, not unless Greg can find himself some suitable attire. You wouldn’t be seen ALIVE in his scraggy overcoat and worn shoes. You suppose you would have said dead, but if you were dead you would have no choice in such matters.
This is confusing and quite silly.
You stumble into what is apparently a rather bare room.
Inside is a desk with some unfinished or unused Moe comics scattered on.
You read one. It’s rather amusing. Even when he is bad, Moe is good.
You notice that Firman himself does not appear to be in the room, which is odd as you remember locking him in there yourself for safe keeping. There are no other exits, no windows, and no holes in the wall.
The passage of Moe is a gripping tale of success and woe, fortune and folly. You watch as Moe finds love only to shoot it in the face, reunites with his brother only to lose him to space. Now he fights even death itself, perhaps the most insurmountable task of all – a labor man has sought to upend since he realized he could die.
Sorry to burst in on an intensive role-playing session I haven’t really taken part of, but I just came in to say this: my computer charger died, and unfortunately I have no alternative means of being online (bar going to the Apple Store, which I’d rather not do), so I won’t be regularly posting until I find a job, which is turning out to be a hellish tricky task in today’s rough economy. But I persist!
I just wanted to let you guys know I’m not abandoning the site or anything.
You stand on your desk to deliver your speech. Or you would if you had a desk that was real, and not a etching on the wall. So you just try to stand up straight.
You then begin to explain that you attempted to post, but your internet was on the fritz. Darn interwebs. Always getting their tubes clogged.
You don’t really have much more else to say, so you step down and let the proceedings continue.
You fail, and instead climb out the hole in the ceiling.
You climb out into the upper floor, which is odd because you don’t remember there being any stairs leading up further. However, the building is rather tall, so you guess this must just be a more secluded area of the construct.
When did Gregory arrive? You are fairly certain you left that shambling miscreant back in Firman’s office! You are also fairly certain you asked him to find new recruits. You can’t get the staff these days.
At any rate, your torch is only a third down, so you still have plenty of time to search this room without any unwanted fighting. You could use some more healing still.
The door at the back of the room seems to have been secured, perhaps by Mr Firman to avoid this creature. You suppose you shouldn’t re-open it without finding a way to dispose of the beast.
You back the creature around with the torch until it is outside the room, then force it down the corridor into the room with the skeletons.
They seem a little confused.
Well, you guess you haven’t actually beaten it, but you got rid of it.
You decide to go by Dungeons and Dragons rules and gain exp for that too.
You are already pretty high level, so you don’t gain anything. You get closer to the next level though. You think 2 more kills aught to do it.
Detective Superduck started in his office, he broke out after collecting some items, and moved on to fall down the stairs, where he engaged his beloved hydra Tibbles. In this fight, Tibbles made a large hole in the wall leading outside, and another in the floor to leading to the basement. DSD then collected more items, created a weapon, then ruined it instantly by making it too hot to pick up.
TP started his adventure by ordering a shipment of melons, then throwing them at the roof.
Gregory began his adventure by being disturbed by sounds coming from the room next to him, which was of course the stairwell, and the noises were DSD falling down.
DSD, after picking up new items and then ruining most of his inventory, and also making a fine new suit, found that Tibbles has been murdered, covering the floor and basement in blood, and the hole in the wall blocked up once more, this time by a large metal object. He then proceeded back upstairs where he broke into Gregory’s office and gave him 4 melons.
DSD and Greg then join forces, enter Firman’s room using the key from DSD’s office, and explore inside. DSD climbs out the hole in the roof, presumably following Firman, and Gregory stayed inside, thinking about the best way to be useful without actually doing anything.
DSD found 2 skeletons, who pointed him to a room down the hall, which contained one grue and a blocked door. DSD disposed of the grue by pushing it down the hall and through the hole into Firman’s office with Greg, where it presumably tried to escape from the light sources by leaving and heading downstairs into the basement. He then pushed both skeletons down the hole in an attemp to gain a level, which he did.
He then went back the the door, only to find that he needed something to break it down with, an item which the skeletons both wielded. He resolved to confront them to gain their weapons, even with his low remaining health.
TP is currently still sat in his office, imagining he has a desk and ranting to himself.
You slowly observe the room, making sure that no detail goes unobserved.
First you see your already mentioned fake/imaginary/picture desk, drawn onto the wall. There is absolutely nothing else present on this wall. You now turn 90 degrees clockwise to observe the next wall.
The second wall you observe, the one that would be straight to the right to one entering the room, is completely bereft of any sort of decoration. You make a mental note to change that situation. For the better. Another 90 degree clockwise turn.
This is the wall with the door in it. The “Door Wall”, if you will. Otherwise unremarkable. You begin to realise that this room is actually kind of lame. One more 90 degree turn to the final wall…
Another bland piece of necessary architecture. You think you’ll leave this one as is. A reminder of what this room was before you began your renovations. Which is what you will do after being All Heroic Like and Saving The Day etc etc. You figure you better check out how your hated enemy, The Ceiling, is doing.
Chunks of melons fall from the ceiling with a startling regularity. Dripping innards splatter across the floor. One nearly lands on you. You feel surprised that this is the first time you’ve noticed it. You make a solemn vow never to mention this to anyone, ever. The Ceiling still appears to be fairly intact, with a handful of dents and the occasional puncture through to the uppers floors. You sure gave that Ceiling a solid beating. It won’t be retaliating for a while. Formerly plain. You think you’ll leave whatever sticks there exactly where it is. It is quite the psychedelic design. Now to check the floor.
The floor is beneath you. You are currently standing on it. Other things are here too. Stuff that’s dropped from above mainly. You think you’ll clean this up. It’s a little bit gross. From here you are also able to see your WATER COOLER. It is currently empty. Dang.
You have observed everything in this room that you are currently able to. You earn one SKILL POINTS!
You cease examining your surroundings, and begin you look WITHIN YOURSELF. On your persons, you find:
One OFFICE CLOTHES. This consists of:
One SENSIBLE SHIRT
One SMART BLACK TIE.
One PAIR OF BLACK PANTS.
One PAIR OF SENSIBLE BLACK SHOES.
One SET OF KEYS. You can’t remember whether or not you loaded them this morning. Darn.
One OLD-TIMEY PHONE. You still need to spin that dial thing to get numbers. Your friends mock you for it often. You have demonstrated its usefulness as a heavy object on many occasions.
One BALL OF RUBBER BANDS. No matter how many rubber bands you remove, there are still plenty more. This item has served you well over the years.
Two HANDY PENS. One black, one red. You tend to borrow the pens of your workmates, so they are still at 100% INK CAPACITY.
One PACK OF SHELL-COATED CHOCOLATE BUTTONS. The pack has already been opened, and some of its contents consumed. You can’t make it through the day without them. If these run out, you will begin to suffer WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS. That must not happen under any circumstance. You feel a bit stressed. You pop a few more of your delicious friends in your mouth to calm you down.
Infinite NOTHING ELSE. You’ve run out of stuff that you have. Damn.
You have completed your inventory search. You earn one SKILL POINTS!
You decide that filling up your inventory with MELON REMAINS would be a bad idea.
So you only half fill it.
You proceed to search the only remaining object in the room: the WATER COOLER.
It contains:
Fourteen PLASTIC WATER CUPS.
Enough WATER to fill Two PLASTIC WATER CUPS.
Your spare PACK OF SHELL-COATED CHOCOLATE BUTTONS. You can’t decide whether to leave these here or to take them with you. You realise that your Day Saving Adventures could take a long time. You take them with you.
The WATER COOLER contains no more beneficial items.
You have finished looting the room! That wasn’t worth any SKILL POINTS really.
you reach to remove your hat only to realise you have left it inside the room behind the hydra now blocking the door. THIS IS A DISGRACEFUL ACT OF ABSENTMINDNESS.
you feel like half the man you once where. a sudden gust blows the peanut butter cups clean off your head. OH NO! if only you had a distinguished hat to protect those precious cups of gloriousness from the cruel heart of mother nature.
You proceed to climb the ropes, then piledrive into the rind onto the skeletons.
As they recover, you clothesline them both, then pick on up and flip him over.
The other one lunges, you use the second as a shield and then as a club, smashing the first.
You then throw the second across the room into the wall, smashing that one too.
You obtain 2 fire axes. The battle is won!
Turns out they were really lame, and since you already claimed exp for pushing them down the hole, you don’t get any for killing them.
What Grue? You are fairly certain you have never worn a Grue, nor do you believe that would be possible for the most part. Besides, you are fairly certain they don’t exist.
You like this idea. You imediately put it to good use.
Unfortunately, the desk is highly re-enforced. Whatever broke it must have been quite strong. You are not quite sure if even Tibbles could have done this.
you wield your mop like battle axe wielding berzerker, frothing at the mouth, crazed lust for grue blood, you let out a chilling war cry before charging forwards at the grue and swinging your mop in large arcs, all who face the might of battlecrazed Omi fall before the onslaught.
Finally, you let me take over, i mean all you had to do was stop giving stupid suggestions and let me come up with a brilliant if rather complicated method of solving this issue.
First, you use your suit to store the chest, allowing you to carry it around even with it’s large size and weight. You then head downstairs into the kitchen to use the oven.
First you set it to merging alongside objects instead of with them. The oven asks for a source of wood and metal. You insert both fire axes.
You then mix the key and the locked drawer to make the key for the drawer.
You take this opportunity to open the drawer and look inside. There is a pack of magnum bullets, some fine cigars, and a pen which seems…odd. You take them all.
Then you change the settings back to merging items together, and merge the empty, unlocked drawer with the locked chest to make the unlocked chest.
Your rage overcomes you, your rage bar exceeds it’s limit and smashes into millions of pieces. It’s go time.
You flip the fuck out.
You check the oven, one of the fire axes remains in tact, so you remove it from the materials slot and place it back inside the furnace alongside the chest. You mix them. You get the casket opener.
You open the kitchen door so hard it smashes through the wall and becomes a useless revolving door on it’s own circular hinge. Omi is standing looking rather pleased with himself in the center of the room. That is, until he sees your eyes.
You politely ask him for his janitor’s gloves.
He can’t take them off fast enough. You obtain his gloves, then merge them with the casket opener to make the pain hoarder.
You then walk upstairs, entering Firman’s office and taking his sketches for the latest comic. This can’t hurt, he already drew this one. You also take the skull of a dead skeleton.
You head downstairs, noticing the Grue’s eyes peering at you from the basement. Someone really should finish that thing off before it becomes bothersome.
You merge the pain hoarders with the skull to create the fingers of death.
You merge the fingers of death with the comics to make…
*the furnace explodes, white light filling the room*
The hands of god.
You equip them, they are weightless on your wings, almost seemingly a part of your own body. You walk out into the foyer.
You leap into the basement, the Grue confronts you, only to be slightly taken aback by the light emanating from your weapons. You punch him, he explodes in flashes of green and blue. You win the fight!
You can now see inside the basement, there are 2 barrels of wine in the corner, and one small powder keg. You pick that up and store it carefully in your suit pockets, along with the 2 mid sized wine kegs.
You head back up. Omi stares at you, mouth wide. You toss a barrel of your stash his way and say “calm your nerves man, it’s under control. Stand back, but stick around because were gonna need you. Things are about to get…messy.”
Your rage is low, you need to act fast if you want to escape. You slap yourself in the face to psych yourself up. Your heart burns and you ready your fists in anticipation.
You send your fury blockage-ward.
The large metallic object shatters into thousands of pieces, which are forcefully launched in all directions. Omi has to take cover behind Tibbles dead body to avoid ending up the same way. The roof becomes weakened by the amount of cracks which adorn it, as does the floor, which is now littered with holes and debris.
The mist clears, the doorway is now open. Light from the street lamp outside is visible through the gaping hole, as is the sign outside the door reading “Firman Productions, Off-Base”.
There are no spoils. The Grue has been evaporated, not that it was any use to you. You decide instead to take DSD’s belongings.
You obtain The Slightly Crumpled Bowler Hat
The Case-Suit
The Hands of God
A Barrel of Aged Wine
A Small Barrel of TNT
10 Delicious Melons
A Few Pieces of Candy Corn
5 Fine Cigars
A Fancy Lighter (fluid 80%)
Magnum Rounds
A…strange pen
Bobby Pin
Newspaper
Fist-full of Money
Why does he have all this? You decide to hold on to it anyway.
you flip greg the bird before considering that he is probably correct in his assumption that a simple janitor like yourself could never amount to anything other than someone who cleans other people’s messes up for a living. BUT A MAN CAN DREAM GOD DAMN IT, AND YOU WILL BE DAMNED IF ANY SNOTNOSED PUNK WHO NEVER DID AN HONEST DAYS WORK IN HIS LIFE IS GOING TO STOP YOU FROM CLINGING TO YOUR DREAM OF ONE DAY BECOMING A HANDYMAN AS WELL AS A FORCED LABOR JANITOR!
(( 320! Wow, we can definitely hit 500 with this one. I think tomorrow, or maybe the next day, I’m going to start a different story line for my “character”)
[500 is a totally achievable thing that will happen at this rate. Unless Lord Sir Herr Galactic Hero Firman springs a surprise update on us. Either way, everybody wins.]
You marshal your supernatural powers to talk to the readers of the comments board.
“It’s very simple”, you explain, “All you have to do is revert your name to it’s original to comment without interrupting the story, as i will now demonstrate.”
To fix the oven, you will need:
Scrap metal
Scrap wood
TNT
Magic ink
Safe door
Padlock
Metal tray
You are fairly certain you can find all these in the office. All except magic ink, you aren’t sure where you can get that. You will need assistnce in order to attain all these items so you decide to ask the new boss. You should also do something about the massive hold in the wall, there are murderers loose!
you ponder and worry about why there is currently some duck in janitor overalls wearing a false beard dancing around waving your mop.
papa always said if you sleep whilst high on drain cleaner you wake up to some fucked up shit, bout time something that old coot said came true, you are still waiting on the money for your teeth.
TP: Lay down some ground rules for any potential body-invading spirits floating around the building.
June 10th, 2011 at 5:00 am
You are not quite sure what to do. This is a very unusual situation for you.
In fact, it is a very unusual situation for anyone, ever.
And as the sun rises, so do we intrepid few, the ones who carry the most, those who run the farthest, cry loudest, agony our aegis. We, the soldiers of Moe.
I think I was shocked because I’ve worked here/there/whatever is the correct word and tense for this situation for ages and only just noticed it on Wednesday. It’s, like, neon green.
Also I wasn’t aware I worked in a Print Shop Gregory?
Neither was I, Ton, but it’s likely it’s all been photoshopped. Everything’s photoshopped these days. For example, they -tell- me I work in a bookstore but why does it always smell like pizza in there? That’s right, sloppy work. They need to work on their masking and textures in there.
They did an amazing job on the pizzas though. No matter what I do, they still taste like books. Or maybe they just always tasted papery and terrible.
You return to your computer and LOAD your SAVED GAME. So far all of your digital companions seem to be running off in different areas of the dungeon: OFFICE SPACE. You start off the day by typing in commands.
You temporarily lose your Bat-Cool when you notice the horrible gash on the edge of your case. That looks terrible! You really need to get something to fix that.
There is a doppleganger lose in the building with the worlds strongest equipment! You grab your spare coat from the hanger on the wall by the door and don your other hat.
You estimate that this will be the 380th post. Which means that it’s a mere few days from the 400th post. Which means you are on the way to the 500th post and from there only seconds away from BEATING THE COMMENTARY RECORD.
You are in an empty casino save the dealer, yourself, and a man in a black pinstriped suit. He has a very nice moustache and you thus call him Moustachio. You are at the blackjack table. There is a DONKEY on the table and he just took a massive crap. The DONKEY says hello.
You try to remain confused but instead you fall asleep again.
You are now sleeping twice at the same time! Guess having 1hp makes a guy sleepy. That or the tremendous amount of lost blood. Either way you are getting a nice double-kip in!
you procede to dream yourself cleaning floors around people who are sleeping, man this is strange you have only been a janitor for a little while and you are already dreaming yourself as one, god you need to stop huffing drain cleaner you are really ruining your life.
or you would have this sort of burst of self awareness if you werent busy being asleep and cleaning in your dreams. now hop to it these floors wont clean themselves
Don’t you remember? You ruined the kettle making it into a sword no-one could use, which then fell into the slimey hands of a doppleganger!
You feel a re-cap coming on since everyone seems to be becoming confused!
Then you remember you are simultaniously having 2 dreams, one about horses and one about basketball.
SD: Zzznrkh…i’m…i’m the star….it’s me…*snort* zzzzzz…
Of all the bars in all the world, you had to wake up in this one. Looking past the ass cleaning up like a ex-cop turned janitor/repair man on the craps table, you look at the rest of your surroundings. To the NORTH you see SLOTS, the one armed bandits that are an anchor to many a monte carlo. Looking SOUTH you see the VIP room, where you are still not a member. To the EAST are more gambling tables including the newly famous SUPER DUCK BOWL OMI MOE, which you still don’t know how to play. To the WEST you see the EXIT, but you are not ready to leave.
TP: There is a bunch of sleeping people lying around. WHY ARE YOU NOT STEALING THEIR STUFF????
June 29th, 2011 at 4:55 am
Seriously I CANNOT believe I have to tell you to do this. You should be clogging up your inventory with any loot you can find like it’s nobody’s business (Which it most certainly IS NOT) by now. HONESTLY.
Yarrr! We be sailing for hours after me ship and naaarr do we be any closer to capturing it. Now I’ve got this ninja-fellow up in me poop deck slaughtering me companions. Shiver me timbers, I won’t be standing fer no more of this!
I don’t know! I was just scrolling with my trackpad/mousepad/whatever and I was all “Hurr hurr what if I scroll sideways hurr” and it worked and it wouldn’t go back! Until I re-freshed that is.
I first started reading Moe back when MS Paint Adventures made a link. My first comic was when the nurse was failing to draw Moe’s blood, in a bus station.
After that, I think I read a few, loved Bo – who is still a close second favorite – and then left again. Time passed. It was cold, then the meteorites came, and after years of struggle with the primoneolithicpedestriancarnisaurs that roamed this new land, I came back to Moe. Starting at page 1.
But, not to interrupt Sir Lord Herr Duke Firman Esquire, to continue my personal history with Moe.
If you go back to the first Moe comic you can -clearly- see how the art has not only improved, but developed. In the beginning, Moe was – for lack of a better term – lumpy. He still looked different than everyone else but in a way so alien as to be almost, well, alien. Now, rotund but still naked, Moe has become an object of artistic license in a world of normal people. Those normal folk fall in love with Moe, seek to kill him, want to pee on him, and recruit him for their Moe-man army. This would be awesome enough but this uniqueness is turned 90′ degrees and yet reinforced by the existence of both Bo, Moe’s younger brother, and their (now deceased) Uncle. Bo looks -exactly- like Moe while the Uncle is only similar. What is the history of Moe’s parentage? This remains completely unknown.
Duke Sir Herr Lord Firman, hear our plea. Even but one Moe update per month should be better. Poor Moe has been stuck in that casket for so long he’s liable to suffocate! Twice!
When Moe was having his “Har-moe-em” (…on second thought, that doesn’t really work) I was really excited. Always a sucker for romance, it was a welcome change to Moe’s usual series of crushing (if amusing) failures.
Man I can’t believe that I keep breaking my own “Post a comment on every visit” rule but I can’t really make a comment that doesn’t sound awkward and embarrassing apart from this self-referential one.
And I do believe we are getting closer to 4/500! It is certainly closer than zero.
Also the side-art featuring Howlin’ Wolf does seem to be a deviation from the usually hip-hip themed art Lord Sir Herr Duke Firman Esquire the First, Ph.D.
Would that we could, friend. But, alas, with the present state of cloning technology they’d all likely go insane and fall upon us as did the Senate upon Julius Caesar.
I also plan to pay to see this film. About 19 seats should do it.
Also I think that the casting of Charlie Sheen as Moe’s Psychologist was a stroke of genius, only one with so many troubles of his own could understand the problems of others. A short-lived character, but an essential one.
with the help of a borrowed laptop charger OMI HAS RETURNED, and was actually devastated to not see this comment section nearing a thousand, it used to travel so fast guys, what happened, i leave home for a couple of days and the whole place goes to shit.
You’re asking me to make things rhyme with Gregory?
Might as well ask to raid Moe’s armory.
Thick with water guns, chess, and nuns,
No, forget about it, I’d rather quit and be done.
I was beginning to wonder about the loading times,
The cause must obviously be our legendary rhymes,
I thought it was just myself experiencing the delay,
However the opposite is true is what I discovered today.
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May 5th, 2011 at 2:31 am
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAahahahahaha.
God grants MY wishes.
May 5th, 2011 at 2:34 am
This is going to be a good summer.
May 5th, 2011 at 4:16 am
I like this new art style!
May 5th, 2011 at 5:01 am
I’m expecting the next strip to be a conversation with The Devil about video games.
May 5th, 2011 at 5:04 am
But man am I psyched.
That last panel is the best. I wish that EVERYONE bit their lips like that.
May 5th, 2011 at 6:56 am
Best request ever
May 5th, 2011 at 7:39 am
New style is pretty sexy. Almost looks like Moe has…a beak…
(I would go gay for Moe right now)
Hah, god is a jerk, but the BEST kind of jerk. The type of jerk that is a jerk to Moe.
May 5th, 2011 at 7:41 am
Also, for those none-believers…
TAKE THAT! God DOES exist!
(In this metaphor, God is Firman and he has proved his existance via the comic, but SIMILARLY God is mentioned in the comic, so it is a double entandre(?))
((Joke…EXPLAINED))
May 5th, 2011 at 7:56 am
Duke Sir Herr Lord Firman has made my Cinco de Mayo a special one.
May 5th, 2011 at 8:55 am
I wish Moe were invisible.
Then he would be easier on the eyes.
May 5th, 2011 at 8:58 am
So moe~!
May 5th, 2011 at 10:34 am
A fan? Of Moe? On Firmanproductions?!?!
POPPYCOCK!
I believe this is a sherade built on shenanigans, and it must cease at once!
Good DAY to you sir and/or madam.
May 5th, 2011 at 11:59 am
Heh heh, Duke Sir Herr Lord Firman, someone write that down.
May 5th, 2011 at 12:01 pm
Oh, and thinking about it (sorry, I’m multi-posting) I love the fact when God actually answers you (directly!) he then denies you. It’s like getting a birthday present that turns out to be your heart’s desire and then the box is empty. Burn!
May 5th, 2011 at 6:38 pm
Meh, we all do it. In fact it actually helps!
May 5th, 2011 at 7:36 pm
This was worth the wait.
May 5th, 2011 at 8:20 pm
HOORAY!
That’s all I have to say.
You kmoe, besides these other two sentences.
May 5th, 2011 at 9:39 pm
please god,
if you are listening, give For,am some more time to draw comics,
also, i would like the power to actually draw good.
May 5th, 2011 at 11:00 pm
YAY! AN UPDATE!
At least we know he’ll get out alive!
@Ed: Do not be greedy, my child. Limit thine prayer to one request.
May 6th, 2011 at 2:46 am
then i wish for a million updates!
May 6th, 2011 at 3:07 am
Nah.
May 6th, 2011 at 4:21 am
OVERRULED
*counts to a million*
No wait
May 6th, 2011 at 6:08 am
Does that mean… One million updates are forthcoming?
I sure do hope so.
May 6th, 2011 at 7:21 am
OBJECTION! *points dramatically off camera*
(It is important to note that i am currently wearing a smart suit and am stood in a courtroom while doing that.)
To make a million updates would KILL the aforementioned Mr For,am.
I propose a sequencial, rather mroe frequent amount of updates, each with a payment of at least 30 comments and consiquensial fan-art!
*bangs wing on desk*
OR WE FOLD!!!
May 6th, 2011 at 11:55 am
HOLD IT!!!!! ONLY DUKE SIR HERR LORD FIRMAN MAY DECIDE THE UPDATE SCHEDUAL
May 6th, 2011 at 11:56 am
YOUR HONOR! *points in opposite direction but no less dramatically*
The undead have no right to object to aforementioned one million updates as they have shrugged off their corporeal form and thus left all their rights to this, the living world, behind.
*bangs hook on desk*
I DEMAND MY CLIENT’S WISH BE GRANTED!
May 6th, 2011 at 12:09 pm
A comic! I’m giddy.
May 6th, 2011 at 11:10 pm
ahhhhahahaha thats so awesome oh wow
this makes me very happy
May 7th, 2011 at 5:06 am
I, the Foreman of the Jury, demand further arguement before deliberation towards a settlement!
I’m really not sure how this works!
Being in a Jury is silly!
May 7th, 2011 at 9:22 am
THE JURY IS OVERRULED, FURTHER ARGUEMENT IS NOT REQUIRED FOR DELIBERATION, HOWEVER IT SHALL CONTINUE REGARDLESS
May 7th, 2011 at 10:34 am
Order!
*bang bang*
Order in the court!
*bang bang bang*
Those were gunshots. Why is the courtroom not settling down when I fire my Judicial Firearm into the air?!?
May 7th, 2011 at 7:30 pm
Clearly you should be firing it into the crowd, an it is wonderful to see you getting involved with our crazy shinanegans!
Incidently Gregory, banging a sharp object into a wooden desk? Try removing it again… >:)
Duty duty is going to last a LOOOOOONG time for you!
May 8th, 2011 at 12:55 am
*Gregory would answer Superduck, if he could. His voice would be regal, authoritative, and ringing with the sounds of justice and duty. But Gregory can not answer Superduck. No, Captain Gregory Long (Shanks) Fellow, righteously defending his piratical way of life against government, Duke Sir Herr Lord Firman Esquire, and ninjas, has been shot. We now return you to your regular viewing program*
May 8th, 2011 at 3:08 am
oh hey… holly crap did my post start this? weird..
May 8th, 2011 at 7:57 am
I vote that we move to a legal system that MAKES MORE SENSE.
Like the Law… of the Streets.
May 8th, 2011 at 6:28 pm
Pond: The man kills one of MY men, walks in to MY station, and takes MY files, and you have NOTHING?!?!
Pond smashes his wing hard into the desk beside him, shattering the center into thousands of pieces and leaving the cracked halves to fall to the ground, scattering the owners paperwork across the floor.
Pond: Now AS YOU KNOW, I am a VERY…dangerous fowl, and the next person who tells me they have NOTHING better have a DAMN GOOD REASON or desks aren’t the ONLY thing that’s gonna crack around here! And that person better not be the backstabbing two timing NO BRAIN SUNOFFABITCH who DID all this or I SWEAR I’ll tear his godamn ARMS off and BEAT HIM TO DEATH WITH THEM!
He swiftly slides to the right, then over-head wheel-kicks one of the two remaining halves of the desk, slding upright and roundhousing the other across the room, narrowly missing one of the office staff and decimating the furnishing.
Pond: If our half-wit half-usefull NO-BRAINED janitor isn’t in this room in the next five minutes, I’m gonna need a coffin and a new janitor to clean up the mess!
And with that, he stormed into his office, pushing over an adjacent filing cabinet outside, then very gently opening and closing the old oak door as a painful silence purmiated the room.
May 9th, 2011 at 7:26 am
Nothing?
I’m all alone ; ;
May 9th, 2011 at 7:26 am
7:26am? What time zone does this even think this is?
It’s actually 12:26.
May 9th, 2011 at 7:41 am
Eh, we Yanks like to sleep in and change our clocks so that we don’t feel quite so badly about it. 07:41 it is, by our reckoning.
May 9th, 2011 at 8:26 am
Then get your lazy tail-feathers in gear and come up with some RIPPING GOOD ROLEPLAY!!!
May 9th, 2011 at 6:24 pm
WAAAAAAH! You are all so lame today ; ;
May 10th, 2011 at 3:51 am
Maybe we are just all in a post-Moe haze of ecstasy, and are unable to communicate.
May 10th, 2011 at 4:21 am
(Sorry, I’m extra busy at the moment. Awesome writing though)
May 10th, 2011 at 5:58 pm
Moe’s power is incredible, direct communication with god! I also like how you did god’s dialogue boxes, very supernaturaaaal.
May 10th, 2011 at 6:52 pm
Did someone say…
Supernatual? :3
May 10th, 2011 at 8:12 pm
I stopped keeping up with it partway through season 5 I think, but I’m a fan of the show and will catch up eventually!
I usually prefer to watch a series when its completed so that I can marathon it and not have to wait for new episodes (which risks me falling out of sync with the flow of the storyline, and then wanting to start over from the beginning).
May 11th, 2011 at 5:19 am
I’ve heard nothing but good things about Supernatural (with the exception of the latest seasons). Currently I’m addicted to watching “How i met your mother” (up to Season 3). Any opinions?
May 11th, 2011 at 5:39 am
I have never watched it, and was refering to my encorpeal form. I have actually heard nothing but bad things about it, not my cup of tea anyway. My cup of tea is a cup of apple tea! Mmmmm…
May 11th, 2011 at 5:50 am
i have only heard bad things about the show supernatural, and after having seen a few episodes i kind of agreed with those opinions but ya know whatever, now in regards to HIMYM it is an incredibly sub par sitcom, it does however have 2 redeeming characters, barney, who is amazing simply for being neil patrick harris and lily (simply because allyson hannigan is still as ridiculously hot as she was all those years ago in buffy), now my current favourite shows are being human, the wire, and shameless. misfits is allright i guess but shameless is still the original and the best in my opinion.
May 11th, 2011 at 8:56 am
Most of what I’ve heard about Supernatural was positive, but not necessarily “Best Show Ever” type praise – just “it deserves to be on television more than other shows I can think of” type praise.
And I’ve heard nothing but good things about HIMYM. Which goes against what I think of it, because it always felt kinda average.
But neither of those shows compare to my all time favourite… Doctor Who.
But doing the whole season marathon thing that Lord Sir Herr Firman does is where it is at.
May 11th, 2011 at 10:48 am
Oh, and not to derail the topic at all, but I’m almost a 100% sure that “God” is a person who’s going to free Moe from that box. Assuming it’s not a cardboard box; also assuming Moe will still need help getting free of it.
May 11th, 2011 at 2:12 pm
Man, Moe has been in so many ludicrous situations, i bet he has God on speed dial by now.
“God, if you can hear me, i need…”
“*Sigh…* What is it THIS time Moe?”
“I’m being eaten by this shark!”
“Here’s a harpoon, go nuts”
“Thanks God! Now if only he had given me an oxygen mask…”
May 12th, 2011 at 8:14 am
Maybe God just enjoys watching Moe and his whacky shenanigans, and is therefore never out of contact range?
May 12th, 2011 at 10:50 am
If so, why has He not shown Himself before now?
May 12th, 2011 at 6:10 pm
Becaaaaause…
Bluh.
May 13th, 2011 at 2:10 am
Exactly.
May 13th, 2011 at 3:58 am
because he likes to watch moe solve his problems, that and cause moe has never asked before now
May 13th, 2011 at 7:49 am
I second Omi’s explanation, and would like to point out one thing:
The Hobo with the Leaf-Blower.
Make of that what you will.
May 14th, 2011 at 5:41 am
I make of that to be a sign that that guy was really cool.
Sooooo…
Not much commenting going on recently huh?
May 14th, 2011 at 6:35 am
I know.
It’s like… It’s like people have better things to do with their time.
I find that unlikely.
I move for there to be a motion that for any time one visits Firman Productions, one has to comment.
May 14th, 2011 at 2:32 pm
I second this movement! Do we have a third?
May 14th, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Heartily thirded!
May 14th, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Perhaps a fourth?!
May 14th, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Forth, quite yes, quite.
We should also speak like foppish gentlemen, in the king’s finest English!
May 15th, 2011 at 5:34 am
I concur with Superduck’s Ghost’s stupendous idea!
And I think perhaps once a fifth is procured in favour of the motion, the motion is passed!
May 15th, 2011 at 7:10 am
Do we have a Firman? The prize jewel in our shining white Cr’moe’n? (following the foppish undead gentleman)
May 15th, 2011 at 7:26 am
*lights stick of incense*
Oh hear us, Sir Lord Herr Duke Firman, and bestow upon us your judgement!
Doth ye maketh this motion into Law?
May 15th, 2011 at 9:50 am
I must serendipitously protest! The good Lord Sir Dr Firman Senior PHD will certainly, and with great haste, accept our heartiest invitations to join our tomfoolery should he be inclined, and would if anything be perturbed by your summoning shenanigans!
May 15th, 2011 at 7:07 pm
Quicknote, ye old English and the kings English are not the same.
Doth, thou, doest are from ye old English, kings uses long complicated words and sound ludicrously posh and silly!
May 15th, 2011 at 8:50 pm
Forsooth verily, wouldst thou be spoke of verbages both old and new, both regional and abroad, raisteth the conflict between houses and dividing all from few? Nay, good sir, have at thee. No such poppycock shall thus befall.
(In other news, who hopes for tomorrow being Moe’s Day?)
May 16th, 2011 at 2:49 am
Verily.
I uh…
dost be an idiot when it comes to talking in olde english.
May 16th, 2011 at 5:55 am
Then rest your tongue young squire. I find that peforming such dialect takes thought and pronunciation, and may therefore be a difficult passtime for one who is not accustomed to it’s use. Still! You may learn some adequate amounts about it while we indulge ourselves within this silliness!
Quite yes, quite.
Bully!
May 16th, 2011 at 5:56 am
Oh yes one more thing.
If you agree with something, shout bully before you speak.
If you protest, shout rabble!
May 16th, 2011 at 9:44 am
Rabble!
I believe that all able-bodied persons may participate in this exhilarant discourse, regardless of proficiency with the chosen dialect!
Alas Superduck, my deceased fowl friend, it appears an apostrophe has slithered into your statement, revising its location to a place it has no right to be!
May 16th, 2011 at 10:24 am
Bully, Young Ton, bully!
May 16th, 2011 at 6:58 pm
Nay, that is not what I meant! Anyone may participate, though those of weaker understanding may simply learn to articulate in this manner profficiently!
Do not missunserstand me fellows!
May 17th, 2011 at 12:05 am
one is confused as to the intent and purpose of the current actions that you fellows and myself find ourselves doing. in addition one must wonder wether or not the proposition put forward previously was ever passed and if so one must also wonder if it shall be inacted presently? good day sir!
May 17th, 2011 at 8:15 am
I propose that those of a so-called “weaker understanding” of the dialect in which we conduct our discourse be further referred to as those of a “altered understanding” when it comes to the lexicon of our conversing!
And I also propose that those of a altered understanding should feel free to coalesce to our rhetoric regardless of their levels of comprehension, because simple observation will serve no aid to their cause what-so-ever, as participation is a far more valuable teacher than cognition!
And as to the purpose of our cause, there is naught! Nil! Zilch! Our activity is purely frivolous! Which is what makes it all the more spiffing!
And whilst the proposition may still in the present time remain in limbo, it appears enacted amongst those who have already voted in favour!
Gosh I sure do write a lot and never use full stops!
May 17th, 2011 at 7:25 pm
Bluuuuuuh… *groan*
leaf me lone I don’t feel well.
Zzzzz…
May 18th, 2011 at 4:08 am
full stops are not the way of the dapper genteel, no sir! exclamations of a proud and dignified manor and inquiries that show the desire to further ones own knowledge of a large variety of topics are the only ways for men of dignity to discourse. also with large strings of expletived when they stub their toe or someone breaks their monocle, I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN FILTHY PEASANT FUCKS BREAK MY FUCKING MONOCLE AND I HAVE TO STAB THE PIECE OF SHIT CUNT FUCK WHORE IN THE FUCKING FACE WITH MY CANE, IT RUINS MY CAN AND THEN I HAVE ALL THESE BITCH ARSE CUM-MUPPETS TRYING TO YELL AT ME FOR STABBING THE MONOCLE BREAKING PEASANT CUNT UP SO I HAVE TO STAB THEM UP TOO AND MY ARM GETS TIRED OF STABBING. I FUCKING HATE THAT. um good day sirs
May 18th, 2011 at 5:26 am
OMI!
Children may read this forum! Moe is for everyone! And seriously, where are your pills? I really want to know. I do. You need to stop stop taking them.
May 18th, 2011 at 7:03 am
!
That sudden outburst caught me entirely by surprise!
With its perhaps inappropriate content!
May 18th, 2011 at 3:24 pm
Well at least we can look forward to next Moesday. Er, I mean…*ahem*…per chance, mine future, twixt all its brilliant white, will be shown over Moenext, a albino of delight. But should he not reveal himself, a thought clear to me as fright; perhaps I’ll see Moe again, when I sleep in eternal night.
Thank you, thank you…no, no, you’re far too kind…oh, thank you, thank you, thank you
May 18th, 2011 at 5:38 pm
Bluh, Moe.
I want it.
Back to healing for me ; ;
May 19th, 2011 at 1:12 am
Sup.
Just checking in. Also, I’ve decided I’m opting out of this whole olde english business. For now. Perhaps. Possibly. Inspiration does work in mysterious ways, though…
May 19th, 2011 at 5:16 am
Yeah… ALL the way!
Ahaha! Ahahahahaa, haahhahhah ahahahaah!
Wait, that wasn’t funny…
May 19th, 2011 at 8:30 am
Day 14:
We continue to wait. It’s waiting time.
May 20th, 2011 at 6:18 am
Tick tock.
Dawg.
B’)
May 20th, 2011 at 7:28 am
Egads, I was beginning to think that no-one would post between my last comment and this one.
Tick
May 21st, 2011 at 7:13 am
C’mon guys, it’s no fun here all alone.
Tock
May 21st, 2011 at 7:51 pm
I think Ton Phanan has become Doc Scratch.
Use your powers to make the new Moe comic a reality!
Hmmm…this gives me an idea…
May 21st, 2011 at 7:52 pm
You are going to! These things cannot be rushed! Besides, you think they are already getting it…
May 21st, 2011 at 7:55 pm
You aren’t sure that is how ‘ride’ is meant in these circumstances, so you ride it like a mechanical bull.
This is incredibly silly!
May 21st, 2011 at 11:56 pm
You try to influence the great Lord Firman to update through an MSPA-style command, and fail.
A Moe comic is never late nor early. It arrives precisely whenever Firman means it to.
May 22nd, 2011 at 1:26 am
Awww… I don’t want to have to comment
May 22nd, 2011 at 9:32 am
???
May 22nd, 2011 at 9:33 am
Oh man, it’s about a thousand times easier to read MSPA than it is to write it/make it up/whatever term is correct in this situation.
Oh wait, I’ve got one:
May 22nd, 2011 at 9:34 am
Ton Phanan fondly admires the crenella-
That is Moe in his natural habitat.
May 22nd, 2011 at 9:34 am
This is seriously difficult.
Also I should stop posting.
May 23rd, 2011 at 4:54 am
*rapidly inverting colours and moving pictures*
It’s imposible to resist!
May 23rd, 2011 at 4:55 am
Moe isn’t in the safe! all that is in here is a small pouch of catnip, one of your feathers, a pistol and 2 pieces of candy corn.
May 23rd, 2011 at 4:56 am
You take the pouch, the feather, the key to Firmans heart and the candy corn.
May 23rd, 2011 at 5:02 am
You find your hat, and some comic sketches. You take both.
May 23rd, 2011 at 5:05 am
You don the cap and your manner sweeps the room like a hot wind on a cold day. You stike a pose and look hard boiled. You are angry, as usual, so you light up a smoke. You are now Detective SuperDuck!
May 23rd, 2011 at 5:07 am
You carefully try to open the door. Egads, it’s locked ! Looks like you will have to search the room for a series of clues leading to…
May 23rd, 2011 at 5:07 am
You smash the door into millions of pieces with your might wings. Boodbye old door. Best friend.
May 23rd, 2011 at 5:09 am
You leap across the room effortlessly!
*Strong leap!*
The door opens to reveal the stairwell to the lower floor and you tumble down.
It keeps happening!
May 23rd, 2011 at 5:09 am
Instead you decide to skip this part and become someone else.
You become…
YOU BECOME…..
May 23rd, 2011 at 7:47 am
You start being yourself.
You find this frame of mind incredibly profound.
May 23rd, 2011 at 7:51 am
You proceed to hire some prostitutes.
Or at least that is what you presume you are doing.
1800 “Huge Melons” is probably on the right course though.
May 23rd, 2011 at 7:55 am
You hate melons.
You hate them so much.
Water, rock, honey, long, hairy melons.
You hate all the varieties.
All of them.
May 23rd, 2011 at 8:01 am
You begin to hurl the hated melons at your long-held enemy, the ceiling.
???
May 23rd, 2011 at 11:35 am
What the heck has happened to the title of this comic? I see it as ’36Raa’ and underneath where it usually lists the comments it says ’11Cs’.
By ceiling, did you mean the programming fabric of this site?
May 23rd, 2011 at 11:52 am
There’s a number of bugs that have been evident on this site for years now. I am SO BAD at code and web design. I’ve tried a few times to start a fresh look and it just makes my brain explode.
You guys are the swellest, I can’t thank you enough for believing in Moe! I will do right by you eventually, I swear! Past while I’ve been bogged down with rush commission jobs and stuff.
May 23rd, 2011 at 6:44 pm
I
May 23rd, 2011 at 6:45 pm
Oh god why the hell did it do that /)_-
This keyboard is so… oh HI!
Uuuh.
Yeah i can’t see any errors. If you point them out in more detail i could take a look, i know a few things about HTML but i’m just a beginner so don’t expect the miracles to flow like a running gag D:
hOnK hOnK :O)
May 24th, 2011 at 8:14 am
I haven’t seen any errors on the site itself, but taking a glance through the source code I find it interesting that the avatar code for commenters is still there. WordPress imposing itself I suppose?
But nothing more than an amateur here as well.
May 24th, 2011 at 9:33 am
Any page of isolated content that isn’t a comic, like an article or newsbit, has one of the sidebars just dominate the entire width of the page (in Firefox, at least). Throughout my ignorant attempts at fixing it, I somehow broke the footer container too and that kept messing up, which is why the (out of date, oops!) copyright info is now on the left sidebar.
I’m like that senile dude in Seinfeld who tried to fix cars by just banging the engine with a wrench repeatedly.
May 24th, 2011 at 11:26 am
You can not console that which is without fault!
May 24th, 2011 at 11:31 am
He’s at it again! First the ridiculous deliveries and now again with the noise! If this continues you may just go over there and politely discuss the problem…with your fists.
May 24th, 2011 at 5:35 pm
You collapse in a heap on the floor, crushing your hat in the process.
Such innocence lost…
Your heart bleeds. Literally and mentally.
May 24th, 2011 at 5:44 pm
You get up. Your hat is crumpled so you right it. Your health pond is almost dried up, so you light up a smoke and invigorate yourself.
You then stroll downstairs into the main lobby. The front door has been boarded up from the inside, and the outside for protection.
You’ll show that murderer who has the balls around here >,,<
May 24th, 2011 at 5:46 pm
That’s absurd! You have no recollection of ever owning a hydra called Tiddles.
That would be absurd!
May 24th, 2011 at 5:48 pm
Tiddles? You mean Tibbles right? Either way he is standing right behind you, so you should probably turn around and confront him.
May 24th, 2011 at 5:49 pm
Detective Ducks / V / Tibbles
…
RUMBLE!!!
May 24th, 2011 at 5:50 pm
Instead you become someone else again.
May 24th, 2011 at 6:47 pm
Not hard to do that! The soulless plant-based cacophony from the adjacent room is too skilled at assaulting your ears.
May 24th, 2011 at 6:48 pm
About what exactly?
May 24th, 2011 at 6:48 pm
Now you’re being absurd.
May 24th, 2011 at 6:50 pm
You assault each of the seven to nine heads (it’s dark in here and you’re kind of busy so who’s to say how many there are) with the firmament of tightly coiled print. Tibbles, the hydra, recoils its bruised nosi.
May 25th, 2011 at 3:16 am
You are too domesticated to do that!
You decide to go sulk in a corner instead.
May 25th, 2011 at 3:17 am
You do this just in time to get bludgeoned by the creatures tail, and knocked through the floor into the basement!
You crash into the floor with a mighty bump.
May 25th, 2011 at 3:18 am
Woah, Tibbles/DSD x2 combo post o.0
That was kinda unreal!
May 25th, 2011 at 3:21 am
Dun dududun…duun QUACK…QUACK…QUACK…QUACK
It’s hard to type music, but that was “Dave owns” adapted with quacking.
You tip your hat in readiness for the brawling you intend to bring down on this poor creature. he does even know what’s about to hit it! Your going to beat the evalovin shit out of it, and then do that again!
You are STRONG!
May 25th, 2011 at 3:22 am
You and Tibbles share a joyous hug of friendship!
Good hydra.
Best friend.
May 25th, 2011 at 3:30 am
(Sorry about the ninja post, heh. Definitely wasn’t expecting that.)
May 25th, 2011 at 3:48 am
I can’t wait to see what’s next!
May 25th, 2011 at 8:09 am
I also await further… stuff ‘n’ things
May 25th, 2011 at 1:33 pm
You ride Tibbles.
YOU ARE THE KING OF EVERYTHING!
May 25th, 2011 at 1:34 pm
If you do that, anything could get in.
Anything, or anyone.
May 25th, 2011 at 1:35 pm
This is incredibly silly!
In the commotion, Tibbles accidentally breaks the door down.
May 25th, 2011 at 1:35 pm
o.0
May 25th, 2011 at 1:36 pm
There is nothing to use! You would need some nails, some non-smashed wood, and something to hit them in with.
May 25th, 2011 at 1:37 pm
You are fairly certain you would need some kind of combining device to do that.
Something combining science and magic.
Something like alchemy.
May 25th, 2011 at 1:39 pm
The room has a fine leather suitcase, a suit-jacket, a fist full of money and one of Tibbles claws. Poor guy must have broken it against the door.
You take it all. You always take it all.
ALL the all.
May 25th, 2011 at 1:40 pm
Never!
You decide to combine some things using the adapted alchemy oven in the kitchen instead, which was of course there the whole time.
You just never asked as all.
May 25th, 2011 at 1:41 pm
You make the case suit.
You are hard boiled, and ever ready to store things.
May 25th, 2011 at 1:44 pm
You make the quill blade.
The pen is mightier than the…big sharp pen, you guess.
May 25th, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Where is your hat? You may be hard-boiled but you’re not going to impress anyone without your hat.
May 25th, 2011 at 1:46 pm
You make the artists pain.
One must always suffer for his art. Or make those around him suffer with it.
In this instance, you decide to go with the latter.
May 25th, 2011 at 1:47 pm
You are running out of items to store in your fancy new case suit! Instead you give someone else a turn to reply.
You become the other commenter.
May 26th, 2011 at 4:30 am
You are now TP.
May 26th, 2011 at 5:18 am
Why would you want to do that?
The war has been won.
A silly, silly war.
May 26th, 2011 at 5:20 am
Calling people names will get you nowhere.
Especially when it is yourself.
And that resolves into a damaging break in the forth wall.
May 26th, 2011 at 5:37 am
You think that you shall curl up in the foetal position under your desk.
Which isn’t actually a desk.
It was just a picture on the wall, designed and created so that anyone who was exactly 5’11” who walked through the exact centre of the door frame and was parallel to the back wall and looking straight at the left corner of the desk would believe it were real.
Had it been coloured in.
You forget what you were doing due to the long description of that thing that just happened.
What?
May 26th, 2011 at 5:44 am
You become…
May 26th, 2011 at 3:27 pm
You are now SD.
May 26th, 2011 at 3:29 pm
Fine. You do that.
May 26th, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Really? There are perfectly good cupboards and fridges here. In fact, you can see a toaster and a kettle, there are probably many knives too.
May 26th, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Fine. You rummage around inside the bins for some reason.
You find…YOU FIND…
May 26th, 2011 at 3:31 pm
Some damaged plastic.
May 26th, 2011 at 3:32 pm
You make the rumpled-stiltskin.
It’s a useless piece of shit and you hate it.
May 26th, 2011 at 3:32 pm
ALL the all of it.
May 26th, 2011 at 3:42 pm
You have:
Pistol
2 pieces of candy corn
Crumpled bowler hat
Fist full of money
Toaster
Kettle
5 melons
Newspaper
Bobby pin
May 26th, 2011 at 3:43 pm
You wonder why the fridge had nothing but melons inside. You keep getting shipments of these things and you can’t possibly eat them all. At least the newspaper will come in handy for domesticating Tibbles.
May 26th, 2011 at 3:45 pm
You make the shiv-melter!
You drop it like it’s hot.
Literally.
Your wings are burned and you can’t pick it up.
May 26th, 2011 at 3:45 pm
You will show that miscreant who is boss around here.
It’s you.
Everyone knows that.
May 26th, 2011 at 3:46 pm
That doesn’t even make sense, and it looks like someone already beat you to it.
Every one of his throats has been cut, and he has been shot several times.
You shed yet another tear. You are starting to run out of bodily fluids.
May 26th, 2011 at 3:49 pm
You can’t. They have clearly already fled the scene, and something large and metallic is blocking the hole in the wall now. It’s also hard to concentrate with all this blood on the floor, some has seeped down the hole in the floor into the basement but it’s starting to pool. You need a cleaner of some sort. A man who has been forcibly conscripted into a janitorial trade. You need to become…
May 26th, 2011 at 4:22 pm
Re-enter “Become SD” command.
May 26th, 2011 at 4:22 pm
That will show this tricky computer! They’re just like people really, more is better.
May 26th, 2011 at 4:23 pm
What are you searching for?
May 26th, 2011 at 4:25 pm
The COMPUTER begins your QUERY-TASK.
May 27th, 2011 at 5:22 am
Detective SuperDuck.
Duh.
May 27th, 2011 at 5:23 am
You have no computer! Not even in your office.
You should get hold of someone for that task.
Now, where is that janitor. There is going to be more than just Hydra blood on the floor in here if he doesn’t come and clean up all this…well…hydra blood.
May 27th, 2011 at 5:24 am
This idea is entirely proposterous, and you will not accept!
May 27th, 2011 at 5:24 am
You show off your mad skillz.
The floor is slippy and you fall.
Your suit is covered in blood!
May 27th, 2011 at 5:25 am
It’s the only thing you didn’t take. You wash your suit a little then put it back on.
May 27th, 2011 at 5:25 am
You took everything but the…
May 27th, 2011 at 5:25 am
You take the kitchen sink.
May 27th, 2011 at 5:29 am
OH YEAH!
You hurt your wings on the object.
May 27th, 2011 at 5:30 am
You have nothing left to heal with, numpnuts.
Yuo are alarmingly low on health.
May 27th, 2011 at 5:31 am
Even though you are rather sick of melon at this point, you eat one.
It recovers a little health, but not much.
May 27th, 2011 at 5:31 am
You are full already! Who do you think you are, you can’t eat 5 whole melons.
May 27th, 2011 at 5:32 am
You…just…
Lets move on.
May 27th, 2011 at 5:33 am
The hydra blood has an odd taste.
Almost like…
Blood.
May 27th, 2011 at 5:34 am
You can’t find clues without someone to insult or push around.
You should go and find someone to help you do things.
For that matter, where IS everyone. You have an elite work force and they have all vanished.
You decide to bust some heads. And some walls.
May 27th, 2011 at 5:35 am
You are not the Cool Aid Man! You simply can’t bust through walls like that!
Idiot.
May 27th, 2011 at 5:35 am
You go back upstairs into the bull pen.
Everyone is gone. The desks are all broken.
The doors are locked, except for yours which has been smashed into millions of pieces.
May 27th, 2011 at 5:36 am
Why would you do that?
The safe is useless to you, you have your case suit to store items and it is rather heavy.
May 27th, 2011 at 5:37 am
*Loud crash*
OH YEAH!!!
You are now in the office of a Mr Gregory.
What do you do?
May 27th, 2011 at 6:05 am
Why is there so much commotion around anyway?
No one must be louder than you and your shenanigans.
You have all the loudness and obnoxiousness.
All of it.
May 27th, 2011 at 6:09 am
This plan is going to require some serious FORETHOUGHT.
You have not learnt FORETHOUGHT.
Would you like to learn FORETHOUGHT?
FORETHOUGHT requires 8 SKILL POINTS.
You have 2 SKILL POINTS.
You do not have enough SKILL POINTS.
May 27th, 2011 at 6:19 am
You can do it!
I believe in you.
You procede to earn more SKILL POINTS.
You earn all the SKILL POINTS.
All of them.
May 27th, 2011 at 6:19 am
Wait a minute, no you don’t. That would be silly.
May 27th, 2011 at 7:01 am
Greg is sat at his desk, angrilly eyeing his picture of a desk, seemingly lost in thought.
There are also melons splattered on the roof.
Appart from that, his room is pretty empty. He never bothered to buy any furnature, and his phone is simply sat in the corner.
May 27th, 2011 at 7:02 am
DSD: Kid, i think these are yours.
You hand Greg the 4 melons.
He is seemingly displeased at this.
May 27th, 2011 at 7:03 am
This isn’t going to happen on your watch, not unless Greg can find himself some suitable attire. You wouldn’t be seen ALIVE in his scraggy overcoat and worn shoes. You suppose you would have said dead, but if you were dead you would have no choice in such matters.
This is confusing and quite silly.
May 27th, 2011 at 7:04 am
Since when did you pay these guys?
They work because you TELL them to work.
And of course, for the promise of Moe’s aplenty.
May 27th, 2011 at 7:05 am
You enlist Greg and ask him to open the door.
He appears to have misplaced the keys.
You smash the door, making yet another large hole in the offices.
May 27th, 2011 at 7:06 am
You couldn’t possibly! This door is highly re-enforced.
This is the office of the real boss.
The big man.
He HASS the authority.
This is the office of Firman.
May 27th, 2011 at 7:07 am
You remember your pistol.
You might be able to blast the lock off, if only you had more than one bullet.
It would be a shame to waste.
May 27th, 2011 at 7:07 am
You open the lock with the key to Firmans heart.
May 27th, 2011 at 7:07 am
Inside you find…
May 27th, 2011 at 7:09 am
You stumble into what is apparently a rather bare room.
Inside is a desk with some unfinished or unused Moe comics scattered on.
You read one. It’s rather amusing. Even when he is bad, Moe is good.
You notice that Firman himself does not appear to be in the room, which is odd as you remember locking him in there yourself for safe keeping. There are no other exits, no windows, and no holes in the wall.
It is truely a perpexing mystery.
May 27th, 2011 at 7:10 am
You slap Greg across the face and solve the mystery yourself.
Clearly he left through the unmentioned hole in the ceiling.
Duh.
May 27th, 2011 at 7:11 am
You become Greg, and decide to follow Detective SuperDuck around some more.
May 27th, 2011 at 7:11 am
You read a few yourself.
You grin heartilly.
May 27th, 2011 at 7:12 am
NO!
You must not interfere with Mr Firman’s work! You carefully replace everything you have moved.
May 27th, 2011 at 7:13 am
Egads, he is gone!
He must be tracking Mr Firman already.
With all these murderers loose in the building it is no wonder.
You decide to find some other recruits instead.
May 27th, 2011 at 7:15 am
Doo doodeedooo doooooo doodeedeeedoodeedoo…
doo DOOO doo deedoo doodoo doodeedoo daa.
doo…..DOOOOOOOO….doooooo…DOOOOOO…doo deedooo doo dum de dum
Dun dun dun…doodee dun dun dun…doo deeeeeeee…
May 27th, 2011 at 3:34 pm
Your attempt fails. This is entirely too silly!
May 27th, 2011 at 3:37 pm
The passage of Moe is a gripping tale of success and woe, fortune and folly. You watch as Moe finds love only to shoot it in the face, reunites with his brother only to lose him to space. Now he fights even death itself, perhaps the most insurmountable task of all – a labor man has sought to upend since he realized he could die.
Suddenly a loud noise disturbs you.
You look NORTH.
May 28th, 2011 at 2:30 am
Sorry to burst in on an intensive role-playing session I haven’t really taken part of, but I just came in to say this: my computer charger died, and unfortunately I have no alternative means of being online (bar going to the Apple Store, which I’d rather not do), so I won’t be regularly posting until I find a job, which is turning out to be a hellish tricky task in today’s rough economy. But I persist!
I just wanted to let you guys know I’m not abandoning the site or anything.
Moe forever! 😀
May 28th, 2011 at 3:17 pm
If you aren’t holding a computer mouse in your grave, still trying to watch out for updates…
You aren’t doing it right.
May 29th, 2011 at 9:31 am
You stand on your desk to deliver your speech. Or you would if you had a desk that was real, and not a etching on the wall. So you just try to stand up straight.
You then begin to explain that you attempted to post, but your internet was on the fritz. Darn interwebs. Always getting their tubes clogged.
You don’t really have much more else to say, so you step down and let the proceedings continue.
May 29th, 2011 at 9:37 am
Moe Forever!
*waves lighter in air, pressing F5 with other hand*
May 29th, 2011 at 2:04 pm
You fail, and instead climb out the hole in the ceiling.
You climb out into the upper floor, which is odd because you don’t remember there being any stairs leading up further. However, the building is rather tall, so you guess this must just be a more secluded area of the construct.
May 29th, 2011 at 2:04 pm
It’s dark, and you stub your webbed foot on something.
Ouch.
May 29th, 2011 at 2:05 pm
It’s too dark to find any shoes! You resolve to find a light first.
May 29th, 2011 at 2:05 pm
He passes you his lighter.
It’s not very bright.
May 29th, 2011 at 2:11 pm
You burn your last sketches. They weren’t that good anyway.
You now have a torch. It is slowly burning down.
May 29th, 2011 at 2:13 pm
He is not in this room. This room is rather barren.
There is a table in the corner with nothing on it.
Apart from that, the only matters of interest here are the 2 skeletons which seem to be wielding fire axes at you menacingly.
May 29th, 2011 at 2:16 pm
You ready your fists and prepare to ask them for directions.
It’s on.
May 29th, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Down the hall, first door on the left.
You shake the nearest ones hand and thank him, then proceed to follow the directions.
May 29th, 2011 at 2:17 pm
This room has no door.
You slowly walk inside, as your torch light reveals…
May 30th, 2011 at 12:49 am
A fucking grue.
May 30th, 2011 at 2:50 am
You gonna die!
May 30th, 2011 at 5:41 am
Like all grues, you cannot stand light. You quickly duck into the shadows in the corner.
As much as you would like to dine on duck tonight, you cannot touch him until that torch burns out. Only a matter of time…
May 30th, 2011 at 6:03 am
When did Gregory arrive? You are fairly certain you left that shambling miscreant back in Firman’s office! You are also fairly certain you asked him to find new recruits. You can’t get the staff these days.
At any rate, your torch is only a third down, so you still have plenty of time to search this room without any unwanted fighting. You could use some more healing still.
May 30th, 2011 at 6:05 am
The door at the back of the room seems to have been secured, perhaps by Mr Firman to avoid this creature. You suppose you shouldn’t re-open it without finding a way to dispose of the beast.
May 30th, 2011 at 6:06 am
You back the creature around with the torch until it is outside the room, then force it down the corridor into the room with the skeletons.
They seem a little confused.
May 30th, 2011 at 6:06 am
You push it down the hole into Firman’s office.
May 30th, 2011 at 6:09 am
Well, you guess you haven’t actually beaten it, but you got rid of it.
You decide to go by Dungeons and Dragons rules and gain exp for that too.
You are already pretty high level, so you don’t gain anything. You get closer to the next level though. You think 2 more kills aught to do it.
May 30th, 2011 at 6:11 am
You systematically push the 2 animated skeletons down the hole too.
It’s kinda mean, but you need the level for some free healing. They understand.
May 30th, 2011 at 6:12 am
You level up!
*sparkly lights, catchy tune*
You gain some nice things, and also some health back.
May 30th, 2011 at 6:13 am
It’s been boarded pretty tight.
Mr Firman is an artisan. He know how to board up a door from the inside.
May 30th, 2011 at 6:14 am
If anything, what you could really use is a…
Fire…axe…
/)_(\ Faecpalm x2 combo!
May 30th, 2011 at 6:15 am
You leap down into Firman’s office and take the skeletons by surprise.
Unfortunately they are not surprised at all, and ready their axes for assault.
May 30th, 2011 at 6:16 am
Detective SuperDuck / V / 2 Skeletons
RUMBLE!!!
May 30th, 2011 at 9:21 am
You decide to put aside your petty squabbles and self-doubt to help out your comrades, your workmates, dare you even say your friends.
But you have no out-of-character knowledge!
You are CONFUSED!
You hurt yourself in the CONFUSION.
May 30th, 2011 at 6:43 pm
*SLAP*
Get ahold of yourself TP, you are losing it.
You got a team to save!
This is all highly inspiring.
May 30th, 2011 at 7:30 pm
This is all getting very confusing. Perhaps we should have a recap.
May 30th, 2011 at 10:50 pm
You do exactly that. There isn’t much more to be said on the matter.
May 31st, 2011 at 5:43 am
you grudgingly set about mopping up the blood, mutter obscenities under your breathe the whole time.
May 31st, 2011 at 5:45 am
you mutter some half hearted apology all the while grumbling about kids these days
May 31st, 2011 at 5:46 am
GRUMBLE. BRUMBLE.RACKEMSHACKEMRUMBLEGRUMBLE. HERE HERE. GRUMBLE
May 31st, 2011 at 5:49 am
Very well, you pause for a minute to recap.
Detective Superduck started in his office, he broke out after collecting some items, and moved on to fall down the stairs, where he engaged his beloved hydra Tibbles. In this fight, Tibbles made a large hole in the wall leading outside, and another in the floor to leading to the basement. DSD then collected more items, created a weapon, then ruined it instantly by making it too hot to pick up.
TP started his adventure by ordering a shipment of melons, then throwing them at the roof.
Gregory began his adventure by being disturbed by sounds coming from the room next to him, which was of course the stairwell, and the noises were DSD falling down.
DSD, after picking up new items and then ruining most of his inventory, and also making a fine new suit, found that Tibbles has been murdered, covering the floor and basement in blood, and the hole in the wall blocked up once more, this time by a large metal object. He then proceeded back upstairs where he broke into Gregory’s office and gave him 4 melons.
DSD and Greg then join forces, enter Firman’s room using the key from DSD’s office, and explore inside. DSD climbs out the hole in the roof, presumably following Firman, and Gregory stayed inside, thinking about the best way to be useful without actually doing anything.
DSD found 2 skeletons, who pointed him to a room down the hall, which contained one grue and a blocked door. DSD disposed of the grue by pushing it down the hall and through the hole into Firman’s office with Greg, where it presumably tried to escape from the light sources by leaving and heading downstairs into the basement. He then pushed both skeletons down the hole in an attemp to gain a level, which he did.
He then went back the the door, only to find that he needed something to break it down with, an item which the skeletons both wielded. He resolved to confront them to gain their weapons, even with his low remaining health.
TP is currently still sat in his office, imagining he has a desk and ranting to himself.
May 31st, 2011 at 7:20 pm
You notice that Omi was typing while you were. This means he should have been in the recap.
Omi began his journey by cleaning up floods of hydra blood in the lobby.
There is now an angry Grue in the lobby.
The lobby is dark.
Carry on.
May 31st, 2011 at 10:33 pm
a better name for this comic would be alsMOE reasonMOEableMOE
or super duck more like super DICK featuring moe inside what might not be a coffin
May 31st, 2011 at 11:35 pm
You proceed to man up and save the motherflipping day!
Or at least that is your plan.
You figure you better take it one step at a time. You start by…
June 1st, 2011 at 1:01 am
You slowly observe the room, making sure that no detail goes unobserved.
First you see your already mentioned fake/imaginary/picture desk, drawn onto the wall. There is absolutely nothing else present on this wall. You now turn 90 degrees clockwise to observe the next wall.
The second wall you observe, the one that would be straight to the right to one entering the room, is completely bereft of any sort of decoration. You make a mental note to change that situation. For the better. Another 90 degree clockwise turn.
This is the wall with the door in it. The “Door Wall”, if you will. Otherwise unremarkable. You begin to realise that this room is actually kind of lame. One more 90 degree turn to the final wall…
Another bland piece of necessary architecture. You think you’ll leave this one as is. A reminder of what this room was before you began your renovations. Which is what you will do after being All Heroic Like and Saving The Day etc etc. You figure you better check out how your hated enemy, The Ceiling, is doing.
Chunks of melons fall from the ceiling with a startling regularity. Dripping innards splatter across the floor. One nearly lands on you. You feel surprised that this is the first time you’ve noticed it. You make a solemn vow never to mention this to anyone, ever. The Ceiling still appears to be fairly intact, with a handful of dents and the occasional puncture through to the uppers floors. You sure gave that Ceiling a solid beating. It won’t be retaliating for a while. Formerly plain. You think you’ll leave whatever sticks there exactly where it is. It is quite the psychedelic design. Now to check the floor.
The floor is beneath you. You are currently standing on it. Other things are here too. Stuff that’s dropped from above mainly. You think you’ll clean this up. It’s a little bit gross. From here you are also able to see your WATER COOLER. It is currently empty. Dang.
You have observed everything in this room that you are currently able to. You earn one SKILL POINTS!
June 1st, 2011 at 1:16 am
You cease examining your surroundings, and begin you look WITHIN YOURSELF. On your persons, you find:
One OFFICE CLOTHES. This consists of:
One SENSIBLE SHIRT
One SMART BLACK TIE.
One PAIR OF BLACK PANTS.
One PAIR OF SENSIBLE BLACK SHOES.
One SET OF KEYS. You can’t remember whether or not you loaded them this morning. Darn.
One OLD-TIMEY PHONE. You still need to spin that dial thing to get numbers. Your friends mock you for it often. You have demonstrated its usefulness as a heavy object on many occasions.
One BALL OF RUBBER BANDS. No matter how many rubber bands you remove, there are still plenty more. This item has served you well over the years.
Two HANDY PENS. One black, one red. You tend to borrow the pens of your workmates, so they are still at 100% INK CAPACITY.
One PACK OF SHELL-COATED CHOCOLATE BUTTONS. The pack has already been opened, and some of its contents consumed. You can’t make it through the day without them. If these run out, you will begin to suffer WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS. That must not happen under any circumstance. You feel a bit stressed. You pop a few more of your delicious friends in your mouth to calm you down.
Infinite NOTHING ELSE. You’ve run out of stuff that you have. Damn.
You have completed your inventory search. You earn one SKILL POINTS!
June 1st, 2011 at 1:41 am
You decide that filling up your inventory with MELON REMAINS would be a bad idea.
So you only half fill it.
You proceed to search the only remaining object in the room: the WATER COOLER.
It contains:
Fourteen PLASTIC WATER CUPS.
Enough WATER to fill Two PLASTIC WATER CUPS.
Your spare PACK OF SHELL-COATED CHOCOLATE BUTTONS. You can’t decide whether to leave these here or to take them with you. You realise that your Day Saving Adventures could take a long time. You take them with you.
The WATER COOLER contains no more beneficial items.
You have finished looting the room! That wasn’t worth any SKILL POINTS really.
June 1st, 2011 at 3:39 am
you struggle to drag Tibbles towards the doorway only to find a problem.
June 1st, 2011 at 3:40 am
you stand back in a thoughtful manner stroking your beard whilst regarding the doorway and the great beast.
June 1st, 2011 at 3:41 am
*lots of serious looking*
June 1st, 2011 at 3:42 am
you reach to remove your hat only to realise you have left it inside the room behind the hydra now blocking the door. THIS IS A DISGRACEFUL ACT OF ABSENTMINDNESS.
June 1st, 2011 at 3:45 am
you feel like half the man you once where. a sudden gust blows the peanut butter cups clean off your head. OH NO! if only you had a distinguished hat to protect those precious cups of gloriousness from the cruel heart of mother nature.
June 1st, 2011 at 8:55 am
You proceed to climb the ropes, then piledrive into the rind onto the skeletons.
As they recover, you clothesline them both, then pick on up and flip him over.
The other one lunges, you use the second as a shield and then as a club, smashing the first.
You then throw the second across the room into the wall, smashing that one too.
You obtain 2 fire axes. The battle is won!
Turns out they were really lame, and since you already claimed exp for pushing them down the hole, you don’t get any for killing them.
Time to go break things.
June 1st, 2011 at 5:35 pm
(( I seriously can not stop laughing ))
June 1st, 2011 at 7:40 pm
What Grue? You are fairly certain you have never worn a Grue, nor do you believe that would be possible for the most part. Besides, you are fairly certain they don’t exist.
June 1st, 2011 at 7:41 pm
Omi learns “Grue’s exist”!
Omi takes moderate damage.
RUMBLE!
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:08 am
*thunk thunk thunk…*
*Axe chops a hole in the door*
Heeeere’s DUCKY!
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:10 am
There are no fancy santas in the blocked room.
In fact, there isn’t much at all in this room.
There is simply one window at the back letting some light in onto a broken desk. There is an opened safe on the wall, and many tattered pictures.
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:10 am
Now you are just being silly. Frankly you are getting tired of all these rediculous commands. Sometimes you think that… wait…
What’s that in the safe?…
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:11 am
You got the fancy santa!
He appears to be sitting at an office desk working on his naughty and nice lists.
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:12 am
Fine.
You GUESS you are sorry.
You endevour to follow commands blindly without considering the consiquences from now on.
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:12 am
Ok, no.
Just…no.
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:13 am
You punch the narrator in the face.
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:14 am
Now your thinking like a man who doesn’t want another black eye.
You examine the desk for loot, there are drawers, but most are broken. Only one remains in tact. It is locked.
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:15 am
You like this idea. You imediately put it to good use.
Unfortunately, the desk is highly re-enforced. Whatever broke it must have been quite strong. You are not quite sure if even Tibbles could have done this.
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:16 am
You find that the desk itself actaully seems quite weak, only this drawer is re-inforced, as well as the wood around it.
You chop it loose and store it.
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:19 am
There is only the door you came in from. Unless there is a secret door, which you find highly unlikely.
HIGHLY unlikely.
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:19 am
There is no hidden door.
I did say it was unlikely : /
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:19 am
You are now Tibbles
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:20 am
You are slain!
Game over.
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:21 am
You launch a brutal attack at the unsuspecting janitor!
He falls to the ground.
You try to pin him down but slip on the now washed floor and do not succeed.
Instead you turn to face your new opponent.
RUMBLE!
June 2nd, 2011 at 9:55 pm
you wield your mop like battle axe wielding berzerker, frothing at the mouth, crazed lust for grue blood, you let out a chilling war cry before charging forwards at the grue and swinging your mop in large arcs, all who face the might of battlecrazed Omi fall before the onslaught.
June 2nd, 2011 at 9:56 pm
you proceed to tap the grue on the head with your mop
he looks slightly perturbed by this and flees
June 3rd, 2011 at 1:03 am
(( This is all very silly ))
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:30 am
You flip the fuck out.
This is simply too much silly for you to handle.
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:32 am
You decide to up your search for Firman.
In your silly-driven fury, you turn yourself towards the wall without the safe and launch your anger brickward.
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:32 am
You have destroyed the wall, injuring yourself somewhat in the process.
YOU ARE ALMOST DEAD!!!
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:33 am
You are hungry enough to eat again. You reach into your suit pockets.
EMPTY! Youremember giving your melons away to Greg! Curses.
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:34 am
You enter the room next door. At least it would be next door, however there does not apepar to actually BE a door.
This must be a secret room, you guess someone forgot to install the secret door.
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:35 am
You explore the room.
Inside there is simply a large, locked, brass and wooden chest.
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:41 am
You can’t risk another smashing attempt, you are already feeling light headed.
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:41 am
Both axes are probably not strong enough to smash this, you woudl rather not waste them on it.
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:42 am
Your key does not fit this lock.
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:43 am
Finally, you let me take over, i mean all you had to do was stop giving stupid suggestions and let me come up with a brilliant if rather complicated method of solving this issue.
You begin.
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:56 am
First, you use your suit to store the chest, allowing you to carry it around even with it’s large size and weight. You then head downstairs into the kitchen to use the oven.
First you set it to merging alongside objects instead of with them. The oven asks for a source of wood and metal. You insert both fire axes.
You then mix the key and the locked drawer to make the key for the drawer.
You take this opportunity to open the drawer and look inside. There is a pack of magnum bullets, some fine cigars, and a pen which seems…odd. You take them all.
Then you change the settings back to merging items together, and merge the empty, unlocked drawer with the locked chest to make the unlocked chest.
YOU ARE A GOD!
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:57 am
You light up a smoke and strike a herioc pose. Gergory looks on in awe from the adjacent room. He knows who the boss is. They all do.
You feel slightly energised from the cigar, it’s pretty good quality.
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:59 am
You open the chest slowly, a hot white light escaping from within.
The lid shoots open as a beam of energy lights the room completely!
You stare in awe at the contents. You can’t believe your luck.
You have found…
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:59 am
10 melons.
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:59 am
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU…..
June 3rd, 2011 at 8:46 am
I just thought of something.
Firman ProDucktions.
Carry on.
June 3rd, 2011 at 10:47 am
(( Two posts till Three Hundred! ))
June 3rd, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Next post is 300, i take it upon myself to try and make it good.
Please be patient while i think of a narrative.
June 3rd, 2011 at 5:56 pm
Your rage overcomes you, your rage bar exceeds it’s limit and smashes into millions of pieces. It’s go time.
You flip the fuck out.
You check the oven, one of the fire axes remains in tact, so you remove it from the materials slot and place it back inside the furnace alongside the chest. You mix them. You get the casket opener.
You open the kitchen door so hard it smashes through the wall and becomes a useless revolving door on it’s own circular hinge. Omi is standing looking rather pleased with himself in the center of the room. That is, until he sees your eyes.
You politely ask him for his janitor’s gloves.
He can’t take them off fast enough. You obtain his gloves, then merge them with the casket opener to make the pain hoarder.
You then walk upstairs, entering Firman’s office and taking his sketches for the latest comic. This can’t hurt, he already drew this one. You also take the skull of a dead skeleton.
You head downstairs, noticing the Grue’s eyes peering at you from the basement. Someone really should finish that thing off before it becomes bothersome.
You merge the pain hoarders with the skull to create the fingers of death.
You merge the fingers of death with the comics to make…
*the furnace explodes, white light filling the room*
The hands of god.
You equip them, they are weightless on your wings, almost seemingly a part of your own body. You walk out into the foyer.
You leap into the basement, the Grue confronts you, only to be slightly taken aback by the light emanating from your weapons. You punch him, he explodes in flashes of green and blue. You win the fight!
You can now see inside the basement, there are 2 barrels of wine in the corner, and one small powder keg. You pick that up and store it carefully in your suit pockets, along with the 2 mid sized wine kegs.
You head back up. Omi stares at you, mouth wide. You toss a barrel of your stash his way and say “calm your nerves man, it’s under control. Stand back, but stick around because were gonna need you. Things are about to get…messy.”
Your rage is low, you need to act fast if you want to escape. You slap yourself in the face to psych yourself up. Your heart burns and you ready your fists in anticipation.
You send your fury blockage-ward.
The large metallic object shatters into thousands of pieces, which are forcefully launched in all directions. Omi has to take cover behind Tibbles dead body to avoid ending up the same way. The roof becomes weakened by the amount of cracks which adorn it, as does the floor, which is now littered with holes and debris.
The mist clears, the doorway is now open. Light from the street lamp outside is visible through the gaping hole, as is the sign outside the door reading “Firman Productions, Off-Base”.
Detective Superduck lies amidst the rubble.
Detective SuperDuck is defeated.
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:01 pm
^^^300 gotten
also im rereading the moes so when i click the tab and it goes to an old moe im like A NEW MOE UPDATE and now i sound obsessed
June 5th, 2011 at 3:05 am
you set about sweeping and mopping up the mess from DSD’s furious onslaught
June 5th, 2011 at 8:04 am
You are… Astounded.
Never before has such an amazing sight come before your eyes.
You almost fall to your knees in shock and respect.
June 5th, 2011 at 4:14 pm
You have been slain. Instead you become TP again.
June 5th, 2011 at 4:22 pm
There are no spoils. The Grue has been evaporated, not that it was any use to you. You decide instead to take DSD’s belongings.
You obtain The Slightly Crumpled Bowler Hat
The Case-Suit
The Hands of God
A Barrel of Aged Wine
A Small Barrel of TNT
10 Delicious Melons
A Few Pieces of Candy Corn
5 Fine Cigars
A Fancy Lighter (fluid 80%)
Magnum Rounds
A…strange pen
Bobby Pin
Newspaper
Fist-full of Money
Why does he have all this? You decide to hold on to it anyway.
June 5th, 2011 at 4:25 pm
The oven exploded! Only a skilled technician of janitorial skill could fix this piece of junk!
You do find a strange weapon on the floor though. It’s very hot.
June 5th, 2011 at 4:26 pm
You equip the gloves. You pick up the Shiv Melter, though you can’t actually feel the extra weight in your hand due to the gloves mighty power.
All this mighty power is going to your head a little.
June 5th, 2011 at 4:28 pm
You don the Case-Suit and the Crumpled Bowler Hat.
In your dreams you are the star, it’s you.
You are the Big Man.
You HASS the rock!
You have taken over leadership of the followers of Moe. You strike an authoritative pose and get to work.
June 5th, 2011 at 4:32 pm
You decide to boss someone around.
You collar Omi while he is sweeping the floor and tell him in no uncertain terms that he should get to work fixing the alchemy oven in the kitchen.
He accepts the task and quickly shuffles off, clearly acknowledging your new power.
Your ego is at 60%
June 5th, 2011 at 11:56 pm
That… Was unexpected.
You think that at some point you better clone yourself, so that two people can be you, but can also be themselves.
Because that is obviously the simplest and most logical way of solving this situation.
June 6th, 2011 at 3:48 am
now now no need for that sort of language, a simple please would suffice, of course you cant fix anything until you have your tool belt.
June 6th, 2011 at 3:50 am
or at least your trusty hammer
June 6th, 2011 at 3:51 am
you retrieve the Mjollnir class Bazooka from the chest
June 6th, 2011 at 4:42 pm
What? Why are you spending your time day dreaming! Get back to work.
June 7th, 2011 at 4:01 am
you flip greg the bird before considering that he is probably correct in his assumption that a simple janitor like yourself could never amount to anything other than someone who cleans other people’s messes up for a living. BUT A MAN CAN DREAM GOD DAMN IT, AND YOU WILL BE DAMNED IF ANY SNOTNOSED PUNK WHO NEVER DID AN HONEST DAYS WORK IN HIS LIFE IS GOING TO STOP YOU FROM CLINGING TO YOUR DREAM OF ONE DAY BECOMING A HANDYMAN AS WELL AS A FORCED LABOR JANITOR!
June 7th, 2011 at 4:02 am
you suffer an emotional break down and begin to sob histerically whilst rocking back and forth for the next 3 hours
June 7th, 2011 at 5:37 am
(( 320! Wow, we can definitely hit 500 with this one. I think tomorrow, or maybe the next day, I’m going to start a different story line for my “character”)
June 7th, 2011 at 8:34 am
[500 is a totally achievable thing that will happen at this rate. Unless Lord Sir Herr Galactic Hero Firman springs a surprise update on us. Either way, everybody wins.]
June 7th, 2011 at 10:18 am
Неплохо
June 7th, 2011 at 12:31 pm
You marshal your supernatural powers to talk to the readers of the comments board.
“It’s very simple”, you explain, “All you have to do is revert your name to it’s original to comment without interrupting the story, as i will now demonstrate.”
June 7th, 2011 at 12:32 pm
No harm is done by this.
500 is probably achievable unless Firman decides to stop us at 499 with a new comic, which would of course be hilarious.
June 8th, 2011 at 2:57 am
I entirely agree…
*turns to look into the unknowable abyss*
June 8th, 2011 at 4:36 am
I know that if a comic were to be granted upon us at 499 comments, my lol would contain approximately 8^8 “o”‘s.
Well, there’s only one way to find out.
Onwards, to glory!
June 8th, 2011 at 6:56 am
this may prove troublesome for me
June 8th, 2011 at 4:30 pm
More like 8^Y ‘o’s.
HE HE HE
June 8th, 2011 at 5:04 pm
I have no idea what these symbols mean.
June 8th, 2011 at 7:05 pm
8^y
Flip it turnways.
It is Hella Jeff’s face.
June 8th, 2011 at 7:11 pm
You make a list and check it twice.
To fix the oven, you will need:
Scrap metal
Scrap wood
TNT
Magic ink
Safe door
Padlock
Metal tray
You are fairly certain you can find all these in the office. All except magic ink, you aren’t sure where you can get that. You will need assistnce in order to attain all these items so you decide to ask the new boss. You should also do something about the massive hold in the wall, there are murderers loose!
June 8th, 2011 at 7:13 pm
That was rather rude!
It remind you that you also need tools though. You can’t build something with a mop!
June 9th, 2011 at 7:36 am
you ponder and worry about why there is currently some duck in janitor overalls wearing a false beard dancing around waving your mop.
papa always said if you sleep whilst high on drain cleaner you wake up to some fucked up shit, bout time something that old coot said came true, you are still waiting on the money for your teeth.
June 10th, 2011 at 5:00 am
You are not quite sure what to do. This is a very unusual situation for you.
In fact, it is a very unusual situation for anyone, ever.
June 10th, 2011 at 5:54 am
Ah, Moe, where are you?
June 10th, 2011 at 9:42 am
You are pretty sure that wasn’t you. Unless your clothes are somehow haunted…
Which is of course awesome. Haunted clothes are pretty expencive now-a-days, you could get some sweet loot for those.
If you weren’t dead of course.
June 10th, 2011 at 3:35 pm
I would buy some haunted clothes.
June 11th, 2011 at 9:39 am
The blood stains and holes might lessen the value a bit though…
June 11th, 2011 at 2:30 pm
I’ll just wear something over/under it and I’m good!
June 12th, 2011 at 1:58 am
Two days till Moesday.
June 12th, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Oh please Greg you are so childish.
Every day is Moesday.
Duh.
June 13th, 2011 at 6:26 am
Our “Moe”mentum seems to have waned.
C’mon guys (and/or gals), let’s have some COMMENTS.
I mean FUN.
Actually no I mean comments.
June 13th, 2011 at 8:28 am
like a wind from the north omi rides in upon a stee of pure darkness and procedes to loiter fiercely as he triumphantly awaits moe
June 13th, 2011 at 10:31 am
Lo, his steed doth trot back and forth with furious fire and brimstone.
June 13th, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Superduck does something equally as dramatic and stunning!
Then he falls asleep.
June 14th, 2011 at 10:50 am
And as the sun rises, so do we intrepid few, the ones who carry the most, those who run the farthest, cry loudest, agony our aegis. We, the soldiers of Moe.
June 14th, 2011 at 7:55 pm
Yup…
Uhm…
Yup.
June 15th, 2011 at 4:53 am
List of things that I found out today:
My store sells Kiwi Juice.
But it’s called “Liquified Kiwifruit”.
???
June 15th, 2011 at 4:54 am
By “My store” I mean “the place that I work” because I don’t actually OWN a store, that would be insanely challenging and stuff.
June 15th, 2011 at 10:47 am
Why does a print shop sell liquid Kiwi-fruit?
June 15th, 2011 at 6:43 pm
Because it is awesome and delicious.
Have…have you even read Moe comics? This should be obvious by now.
June 16th, 2011 at 5:14 am
Man…Moe is REALLY pushing for that invisibility.
God must be getting kinda fed up of it by now.
June 16th, 2011 at 5:20 am
dude a grocer near me sells kiwi juice i almost had a fit of joy when i saw it
June 16th, 2011 at 7:50 am
I think I was shocked because I’ve worked here/there/whatever is the correct word and tense for this situation for ages and only just noticed it on Wednesday. It’s, like, neon green.
Also I wasn’t aware I worked in a Print Shop Gregory?
June 16th, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Neither was I, Ton, but it’s likely it’s all been photoshopped. Everything’s photoshopped these days. For example, they -tell- me I work in a bookstore but why does it always smell like pizza in there? That’s right, sloppy work. They need to work on their masking and textures in there.
They did an amazing job on the pizzas though. No matter what I do, they still taste like books. Or maybe they just always tasted papery and terrible.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:56 am
there was some woman on a tv show about wierd addictions the otherday that was addicted to eating toilet paper
June 17th, 2011 at 5:12 am
Used or fresh?
June 17th, 2011 at 9:25 pm
clean toilet paper
June 17th, 2011 at 9:26 pm
like rolls and rolls of the stuff
June 18th, 2011 at 7:49 am
Did she receive enough nutrients from the toilet paper to live an ordinary day-to-day life?
June 18th, 2011 at 6:16 pm
No, she ate so much she became Looroller, the super hero with the power to shoot super strong toilet paper from her hands.
Then she died from eating too much toilet paper.
June 18th, 2011 at 10:12 pm
Superduck, you’ve been reading too much Axecop.
Alright, I’ve got a few minutes. Time to update!
June 18th, 2011 at 10:14 pm
You return to your computer and LOAD your SAVED GAME. So far all of your digital companions seem to be running off in different areas of the dungeon: OFFICE SPACE. You start off the day by typing in commands.
June 18th, 2011 at 10:15 pm
Yes, that will make all of this much easier. You begin PROGRAMMING with a vengeance.
June 18th, 2011 at 10:16 pm
I’m terribly sorry; I have no idea what you mean.
June 18th, 2011 at 10:17 pm
Congratulations, you have created BAT-GREGORY.
June 18th, 2011 at 10:18 pm
Oh yes, only in the dark shadows of moody contemplation can you unlock the secret of MOE.
June 19th, 2011 at 9:03 am
Nah, you’ll do it later.
June 19th, 2011 at 11:46 am
That’s right, you heard me, start from scratch.
June 19th, 2011 at 1:18 pm
Unfortunately, no-one has restarted the game by causing The Scratch yet.
You must find another way to restart!
June 19th, 2011 at 11:51 pm
You temporarily lose your Bat-Cool when you notice the horrible gash on the edge of your case. That looks terrible! You really need to get something to fix that.
June 20th, 2011 at 4:41 am
You very sneakilly add a fake scratch to Gregory’s suitcase.
Teehee. >:3
June 21st, 2011 at 5:38 pm
DAY: 356
The scratch won’t come off.
June 22nd, 2011 at 9:49 am
You furiously attack the poor medical man!
This has absolutely nothing to do with anything, and is very silly.
June 23rd, 2011 at 4:47 am
[l________________]
You have 1hp left.
June 23rd, 2011 at 4:48 am
Calm down, you don’t need to yell.
It seems someone has stolen all your sweet loot, you will have to get it back somehow.
June 23rd, 2011 at 4:49 am
You notice your hat is gone! You can no longer respond to commands directed at DSD!
June 23rd, 2011 at 4:52 am
You make your way clumsilly to your feet and re-enter the building. This place is a wreck, but also surprisingly clean.
There are loud noises coming from the kitchen.
TP is standing in the center of the room, and Greg seems to be wearing some rediculous fake bat ears or something.
June 23rd, 2011 at 4:54 am
*Bunp*
You retake control of the building before asking as to the whereabouts of your equipment.
It seems they were stolen by someone masquerading as TP!
This is incredibly bad!
June 23rd, 2011 at 4:58 am
There is a doppleganger lose in the building with the worlds strongest equipment! You grab your spare coat from the hanger on the wall by the door and don your other hat.
It’s go time.
June 23rd, 2011 at 4:58 am
Cos shit just got REAL.
June 24th, 2011 at 12:04 pm
How real?
June 24th, 2011 at 1:36 pm
You estimate that this will be the 380th post. Which means that it’s a mere few days from the 400th post. Which means you are on the way to the 500th post and from there only seconds away from BEATING THE COMMENTARY RECORD.
You now rest on your LAURELS.
June 24th, 2011 at 8:45 pm
You fall asleep.
Great job there genius.
June 25th, 2011 at 1:06 pm
You enter a state of SLEEP.
June 26th, 2011 at 6:49 pm
You are in an empty casino save the dealer, yourself, and a man in a black pinstriped suit. He has a very nice moustache and you thus call him Moustachio. You are at the blackjack table. There is a DONKEY on the table and he just took a massive crap. The DONKEY says hello.
June 26th, 2011 at 6:51 pm
Er….oops. Make that Something other than continue dreaming. Greg’s the one dreaming, not DM.
Let’s go with DM: Come into existence.
June 26th, 2011 at 7:07 pm
You try to remain confused but instead you fall asleep again.
You are now sleeping twice at the same time! Guess having 1hp makes a guy sleepy. That or the tremendous amount of lost blood. Either way you are getting a nice double-kip in!
June 26th, 2011 at 9:22 pm
you procede to dream yourself cleaning floors around people who are sleeping, man this is strange you have only been a janitor for a little while and you are already dreaming yourself as one, god you need to stop huffing drain cleaner you are really ruining your life.
or you would have this sort of burst of self awareness if you werent busy being asleep and cleaning in your dreams. now hop to it these floors wont clean themselves
June 27th, 2011 at 4:23 am
Trying to catch up with everything that is happening/has happened is making you very tired. You feel like you could do with a little… Caffeine.
June 27th, 2011 at 4:26 am
Don’t you remember? You ruined the kettle making it into a sword no-one could use, which then fell into the slimey hands of a doppleganger!
You feel a re-cap coming on since everyone seems to be becoming confused!
Then you remember you are simultaniously having 2 dreams, one about horses and one about basketball.
SD: Zzznrkh…i’m…i’m the star….it’s me…*snort* zzzzzz…
June 27th, 2011 at 4:32 am
You wake up startled!
You are now only asleep once.
June 28th, 2011 at 5:06 am
Should i leave the recap for a wonderful 400th? If so, we need 9 more comments!
June 28th, 2011 at 5:25 am
Of all the bars in all the world, you had to wake up in this one. Looking past the ass cleaning up like a ex-cop turned janitor/repair man on the craps table, you look at the rest of your surroundings. To the NORTH you see SLOTS, the one armed bandits that are an anchor to many a monte carlo. Looking SOUTH you see the VIP room, where you are still not a member. To the EAST are more gambling tables including the newly famous SUPER DUCK BOWL OMI MOE, which you still don’t know how to play. To the WEST you see the EXIT, but you are not ready to leave.
June 28th, 2011 at 5:25 am
You ponder your next decision carefully. It could be very important.
June 28th, 2011 at 6:36 am
You do exactly that. Is this the first time you’ve followed a command to the letter? Well done. Now we are getting somewhere.
June 28th, 2011 at 7:21 pm
Nu-uh! No recaps until 400!
Deal with it B’)
June 29th, 2011 at 4:55 am
Seriously I CANNOT believe I have to tell you to do this. You should be clogging up your inventory with any loot you can find like it’s nobody’s business (Which it most certainly IS NOT) by now. HONESTLY.
June 30th, 2011 at 12:19 pm
You were already looted by a doppelganger.
That’s probably why no-one has stolen your belongings.
July 1st, 2011 at 2:18 am
so its July and still no MOE.
July 1st, 2011 at 4:06 am
Campbell, there may be no Moe, but there -will- be.
July 1st, 2011 at 7:14 am
Even if we have to pull out an old Moe’s teeth and use them to resurrect skeletal Moe’s which take over the world.
Yup.
I’m not joking, i will do this.
July 1st, 2011 at 7:17 am
Most people are asleep, only TP has any decent equipment, TP’s doppelganger stole all the best equipment and vanished.
*party popper and a party whistle*
Yup.
400.
July 1st, 2011 at 8:21 am
Worst.
Recap.
Ever.
That had NOWHERE NEAR 12,000 words.
July 1st, 2011 at 8:22 am
This is almost as bad as that time that Andrew Hussie didn’t do everything exactly as I wanted and instead did his own thing.
July 2nd, 2011 at 7:32 pm
You have never been MORE offended!
You thought you were pretty close!
I mean how much is 12,000 anyway? That’s like… Thirty six right?
July 3rd, 2011 at 2:07 am
Thirty six!?! You’ve got to be kidding me!
Everyone knows that it’s actually Thirty seven…
Right? I’m not sure if we got the math down.
Right???
July 3rd, 2011 at 5:20 am
Make sure it introduces a whole spectrum of new characters and ties in intricately with the main story so as to make it essential reading.
July 3rd, 2011 at 11:45 pm
Yarrr! We be sailing for hours after me ship and naaarr do we be any closer to capturing it. Now I’ve got this ninja-fellow up in me poop deck slaughtering me companions. Shiver me timbers, I won’t be standing fer no more of this!
July 4th, 2011 at 7:31 pm
dpqlnddncococnssnxkkbdkdos
Jicijd
SAUSAGES!!!
July 5th, 2011 at 3:46 am
Balloons!
July 6th, 2011 at 8:26 am
Detergent!
Also I managed to scroll the comments section sideways.
???
July 6th, 2011 at 10:06 am
Sorry if i’m posting less. I’m sleeping a whole lot more.
Yey Moe.
July 6th, 2011 at 3:43 pm
TP,
Wait, what? How? Did you rearrange your screen?
July 7th, 2011 at 4:51 am
I don’t know! I was just scrolling with my trackpad/mousepad/whatever and I was all “Hurr hurr what if I scroll sideways hurr” and it worked and it wouldn’t go back! Until I re-freshed that is.
July 7th, 2011 at 7:16 am
No. Not working he….wait a minute, trackpad? TP! Perhaps you’ve discovered the lost land of Moe! What we’ve been searching for all this time!
July 7th, 2011 at 7:20 am
Yeah, that didn’t work.
July 7th, 2011 at 5:18 pm
Don’t you see? You can’t do it like that…
YOU HAVE TO FLIP IT TURNWAYS!!!
July 8th, 2011 at 9:05 pm
WHOA BROOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOO
July 9th, 2011 at 1:52 am
From The Land of Moe and Trackpads I summon Moe
http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=4&p=001327
July 10th, 2011 at 3:06 pm
It ain’t easy being loyal, but on Moe it is.
MOE: Every day.
July 10th, 2011 at 11:43 pm
So long, this summer, in its heat it burns. So long, so long, and yet I won’t stop.
July 11th, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Can’t stop, no, won’t stop
July 11th, 2011 at 7:43 pm
It’s like i’m in a sauna.
A sauna on the sun.
And a fat guy just sat down awfully close to me.
July 12th, 2011 at 3:25 am
I want you to know Moe is very sensitive about his weight.
July 12th, 2011 at 6:57 am
Very sensitive.
July 12th, 2011 at 4:29 pm
Like a Moe train, coming like a Moe train…
July 13th, 2011 at 5:53 am
I first started reading Moe back when MS Paint Adventures made a link. My first comic was when the nurse was failing to draw Moe’s blood, in a bus station.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:44 am
I can’t quite recall when I started reading Moe either, but it was probably around the time of the MSPA link.
July 13th, 2011 at 7:40 pm
After that, I think I read a few, loved Bo – who is still a close second favorite – and then left again. Time passed. It was cold, then the meteorites came, and after years of struggle with the primoneolithicpedestriancarnisaurs that roamed this new land, I came back to Moe. Starting at page 1.
July 14th, 2011 at 6:16 am
I first read it when i got bored and clicked a random link in the MSPA friends section.
July 15th, 2011 at 3:02 am
Holy shit, guys. 400+ comments? I’ve only ever seen more on, like, Achewood. This is insane.
July 15th, 2011 at 5:19 am
They have accumulated over time. We simply keep the site alive in the hope that Mr Firman will draw another Moe comic.
July 15th, 2011 at 5:27 am
I will, I swear! But when it comes back, it has to COME BACK. I’m still trying to figure out what I could reliably manage… weekly maybe.
July 15th, 2011 at 6:31 am
See? He’s already come back.
July 15th, 2011 at 6:35 am
But, not to interrupt Sir Lord Herr Duke Firman Esquire, to continue my personal history with Moe.
If you go back to the first Moe comic you can -clearly- see how the art has not only improved, but developed. In the beginning, Moe was – for lack of a better term – lumpy. He still looked different than everyone else but in a way so alien as to be almost, well, alien. Now, rotund but still naked, Moe has become an object of artistic license in a world of normal people. Those normal folk fall in love with Moe, seek to kill him, want to pee on him, and recruit him for their Moe-man army. This would be awesome enough but this uniqueness is turned 90′ degrees and yet reinforced by the existence of both Bo, Moe’s younger brother, and their (now deceased) Uncle. Bo looks -exactly- like Moe while the Uncle is only similar. What is the history of Moe’s parentage? This remains completely unknown.
July 15th, 2011 at 8:13 am
Duke Sir Herr Lord Firman, hear our plea. Even but one Moe update per month should be better. Poor Moe has been stuck in that casket for so long he’s liable to suffocate! Twice!
July 16th, 2011 at 1:50 pm
When Moe was having his “Har-moe-em” (…on second thought, that doesn’t really work) I was really excited. Always a sucker for romance, it was a welcome change to Moe’s usual series of crushing (if amusing) failures.
July 19th, 2011 at 11:37 am
Sorry about that, I have just recently moved back to my Native Texas (like, just now) and I have limited internet access. Now I’m back! Huzzah!
July 20th, 2011 at 11:44 am
Where have i been? It’s a story for another time my friends ; )
…
I was ill and wasn’t up to much…
July 21st, 2011 at 6:15 am
Man I can’t believe that I keep breaking my own “Post a comment on every visit” rule but I can’t really make a comment that doesn’t sound awkward and embarrassing apart from this self-referential one.
Keep on keeping on pals!
July 22nd, 2011 at 12:04 am
As long as we keep the hope alive, it will never die.
July 22nd, 2011 at 1:17 pm
And I think we’re getting close to 400
July 23rd, 2011 at 4:00 am
Did I say 400? I need to lay off the cocaine.
July 23rd, 2011 at 5:44 am
C-c-c-c-c-cocaine?
And I do believe we are getting closer to 4/500! It is certainly closer than zero.
Also the side-art featuring Howlin’ Wolf does seem to be a deviation from the usually hip-hip themed art Lord Sir Herr Duke Firman Esquire the First, Ph.D.
July 24th, 2011 at 11:29 pm
I just noticed that I wrote “hip-hip” instead of “hip-hop”! How embarrassing.
July 25th, 2011 at 2:17 am
It’s likely the drugs.
July 25th, 2011 at 8:58 am
I’d imagine so! Perhaps I should cut down to just one or two for a while.
July 26th, 2011 at 10:22 pm
But how interesting would that be?
July 27th, 2011 at 6:25 am
Very.
They would probably act weirder.
Carry on.
July 27th, 2011 at 7:01 pm
Curse you, Superduck, and you inflatable logic!
July 29th, 2011 at 12:44 am
Am I going to be stealing 450? Tune in tomorrow and find out.
July 29th, 2011 at 11:52 am
STOLEN.
July 30th, 2011 at 1:26 pm
Man, it seems I’ve lost most of my help. I’ll have to start doing some really heavy lifting to get everything back on schedule.
Let’s start with some reps.
July 30th, 2011 at 1:27 pm
…ONE….
July 30th, 2011 at 1:28 pm
…….
…..TWO….
geez, I am really out of shape.
July 30th, 2011 at 1:29 pm
THREE…..okay, forget this. I’m done for today.
Someone fire up my Jacuzzi.
July 30th, 2011 at 5:04 pm
Four!
Joined a gym earlier today.
July 30th, 2011 at 7:39 pm
THat’s funn, it said this wouldn’t post because i had made a similar message.
July 31st, 2011 at 2:32 am
Ugh, that typing is atrocious.
July 31st, 2011 at 11:21 am
*looks around*
I wonder where my help has gone?
August 1st, 2011 at 12:09 am
I apologise for my absence, as I was INTERSTATE (kinda) for the past several days.
August 1st, 2011 at 7:25 am
Yeah, this is going nowhere. Sadness.
August 2nd, 2011 at 2:01 am
Heh, this is going somewhere. I’ve got you guys back again!
Well, mostly back.
August 2nd, 2011 at 6:01 pm
This has ALWAYS been going somewhere.
Moving FORWARD.
August 3rd, 2011 at 12:01 am
Into the Future.
August 3rd, 2011 at 7:26 am
3 August, naught to report. Firman remains elusive. Perhaps we should lure him with a sack ‘o lucre.
August 4th, 2011 at 5:02 am
No, we will clone him and put the clones to work, producing comics in some sort of comic sweatshop.
August 4th, 2011 at 7:27 am
Would that we could, friend. But, alas, with the present state of cloning technology they’d all likely go insane and fall upon us as did the Senate upon Julius Caesar.
August 4th, 2011 at 8:09 am
Or we’d just end up with someone with the same name, but no other similarities.
August 4th, 2011 at 10:46 am
…I’m not sure I like what you’re implying, Ton
August 4th, 2011 at 8:29 pm
Sort of like the Moe army i think.
Also, i can’t find the comic where Moe plays chess with Bo…
Also LOOK I’M COMMENTING DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!!!
August 4th, 2011 at 10:28 pm
Wait, which comic is that?
August 5th, 2011 at 5:12 am
Moe #97 “The Most Important Piece”
http://www.firmanproductions.com/?p=370
August 5th, 2011 at 6:00 am
HE LIVES
August 5th, 2011 at 6:06 am
I’m being FO REAL when I say the return is imminent. I’ve got the next super-sized comic roughed out. Just keep your expectations low 😛
August 5th, 2011 at 7:27 am
That sounds awesome. And I doubt many people will heed your call for low expectations, no matter how much they respect you and your body of work.
August 5th, 2011 at 3:48 pm
The Ton speaks truly. Personally, I’m hoping it reveals whoever the mysterious speaker is.
August 5th, 2011 at 10:35 pm
I can’t wait for the release of the feature length flash movie, “Moe Money,” later this year.
Michael, how did you get Danny Trejo to agree to do the voice of Angela’s boyfriend?
August 5th, 2011 at 10:49 pm
He practically volunteered when he found out Nicholas Cage was the voice of Angela.
August 6th, 2011 at 12:19 am
I am already paying to see this movie.
But the principal question is who is playing Angela’s hair? Angela or Nicholas Cage?
August 6th, 2011 at 8:10 am
I also plan to pay to see this film. About 19 seats should do it.
Also I think that the casting of Charlie Sheen as Moe’s Psychologist was a stroke of genius, only one with so many troubles of his own could understand the problems of others. A short-lived character, but an essential one.
August 9th, 2011 at 1:37 am
No one wants 80? STOLEN.
August 9th, 2011 at 4:32 am
four-hundred and eighty FIRST
It’s like FIRST
but
FAR LESS IMPRESSIVE
August 9th, 2011 at 7:45 am
with the help of a borrowed laptop charger OMI HAS RETURNED, and was actually devastated to not see this comment section nearing a thousand, it used to travel so fast guys, what happened, i leave home for a couple of days and the whole place goes to shit.
August 9th, 2011 at 11:14 pm
I gotta admit, Omi is kinda calling us out here – and he’s right.
1000 it is!
August 10th, 2011 at 5:17 am
You could have at least let us reach 500 before you raised the bar
~.~
August 10th, 2011 at 10:10 am
gotta aim high Ton, that way the resolve is tested and other such drops of wisdom.
August 10th, 2011 at 10:11 am
rollcall!!!
who is still commenting up in here
August 11th, 2011 at 5:09 am
(I think we should do this rollcall IN RHYME)
I am replying as Ton Phanan
Can we get to 1000? Yes we can.
(Yes, I know that was terrible)
August 11th, 2011 at 10:12 am
You’re asking me to make things rhyme with Gregory?
Might as well ask to raid Moe’s armory.
Thick with water guns, chess, and nuns,
No, forget about it, I’d rather quit and be done.
August 12th, 2011 at 4:03 pm
Funny. It seems our sick rhymes are breaking the Moe servers. Let’s keep up the good work!
August 13th, 2011 at 12:32 am
no updates yet?
gooood DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN
August 13th, 2011 at 6:57 am
I was beginning to wonder about the loading times,
The cause must obviously be our legendary rhymes,
I thought it was just myself experiencing the delay,
However the opposite is true is what I discovered today.
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