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Well valentines days sucks, but i guess if we get more Moe that’s ok.
Had to be something like this when you think about it, but it’s clever in that even though you knew this was what was going on you actually DIDN’T know until he told you. Dun dun dun.
Blah blah comic good blah quack whatever. Cheers Firman.
Those are some pretty awesome Moe Valentines, I had honestly forgotten about those. And yes! The plot twists…a lot! My guess is on a cardboard box. But…why the pillow then?
Okay, that proved much less effective than first believed. But there -is- an interesting point. “Moe went missing and was declared dead.” Either Moe takes REALLY long naps or they rushed the whole funeral process.
Now neither of these really explain where Moe is….so CSI: MOE continues, tomorrow!
Actually at the casual rate Mr Firman rolls out comics, it pretty much not going to be tomorrow. Unless you have changed from… What was it? First sargeant? To detective inspector, in which case you can hire some sleuths to help in the case. Of course they would need new, hard boiled names to suit their new roles. Alao I’m alive now so the name thing works TADAAAH.
That is how all the people who want in on this will set out their names by the way. Your origional name in [], then your title such as PI or detective, first name, nickname in (), then last name.
Those are the rules and SO HELP ME if I have to break some legs for a little order in this.
Any and all people reaching forward to change their name to either Problem Sleut, Pickle inspector, Ace Dick or anything else similar to those or other characters from MSPA, no.
No no no, no, no no nonono.
No.
Bad fans, bad.
Don’t give up heart, Superduck. Or the ghost. Don’t give up either. You made me laugh like crazy at some of the responses (particularly [Freako] Freako Freako (Freako) Freako. Maybe that particular detective has a stuttering problem?) Okay, honestly, swear to Moe, tomorrow we’ll start doing some investigating.
(Yeah, I still can’t think of anything clever) Okay! So here are some basic facts I was able to think about. 1) Moe is wearing a suit. Why? Moe is normally naked so if he’s going to put on anything (much less a suit) it was for a formal occasion. 2) Moe was not doing anything with Bo. Why? Because Bo is a genius. He’s a crazy child astronaut. Nuff said.
So the main question remains, “What was Moe doing?” If we can figure out where he was, we can figure out where he is.
Yours is the best so far Inspector, even if you took the name from something else. I guess it doesn’t matter that much is you steal names, just not from other comics as that is shameful.
(Yeah I might just change my name to this because I find it more aesthetically pleasing than Gordon McClane. Sorry Freako, I think we knew that the parody wasn’t going to last)
Well, Private Eye MacGarnacal, questioning of the missing persons housemates is yet to reveal new evidence. All the information that is currently available surrounding the case is currently present on this police-issue whiteboard… That I shall conveniently let someone else describe.
Thank you inspector, i will take the briefing from here.
Now it seems that Mr Dope had, to all his friends, gone missing and been presumed dead. However we have now determined that the coffin they burried was empty, and that in fact Moe is still alive. His whereabouts are still unknown to us, however we can use what basic evidence we have to come up with some basic theorys as to what happened.
Without going in to too much detail, the aforementioned Mr Dope is in some description of small, wel lit containor wearing a full smart suit and laying on a small well adorned cushion. This is odd, as Moe is usually seen to be completely naked. This would mean he would have to have been at some fancy get-together to have adorned such garments.
I theorise that, as we witnessed in past events, that two of his friends from the pie shop, who then fell in love with eachother in a hostage situation, were getting married, and invited Moe to the stag party. However, as he is not well liked, when he became drunk and incapacitated, they decided to play a practical joke on him by locking him in a small box. However, they gave him the small cushion so as not to wake him when his head went in, and there are air holes in the top, which are allowing light. Unfortunately in their drunken state, they completely forgot about the event, and took his failure to re-appear to mean he had gone missing.
I will leave this information on the investigation boards, and i expect a full report by the end of the day gentlemen (and any ladies).
Detective, I agree with the idea previously put forth but I have to add a second piece of questioning ponderance – has Moe actually tried to leave the box he’s in? From what I can discern he has neither tried to lift, nor adjust, nor shift, his current container. For all we know Moe is resting underneath a sofa cushion fort created by himself, for himself, and has simply forgotten the previous night’s events during a nap.
Well sir due to the long waits between comics, a few of us regulars take it upon ourselves to keep the commentsboards floating and the readers keen. Writing poetry, diary journals, and roleplaying. We are currently sleuthing this mystery and you are welcome to join the force stranger.
(what the hell, I’ll give it a shot. I’m using the more typical nickname syntax, hope you don’t mind.)
Ah, er, Detective Duwain, I attempted to, uh, interview Moe’s former co-workers from the, ah, pie shop, but, um… well, I looked it up in the phone book, and spent about, um, six hours looking for the place (I get turned around easily, y’see), and, well… it turns out I went to the Best Buy instead. Yeah…
On the bright side, I got myself one of those fancy new GPS gadgets, so hopefully I can, um, figure out how to get it working and continue my, er, investigation…
Unfortunately this is a pretty bad week for me, in terms of non-Moe commission and portfolio deadlines.
Not to dissuade the pageviews and comment community bonding, but do any of you use RSS readers? That’s basically the only way I can keep up with a site these days. I can stay apprised of content better when it’s delivered directly to me (through an aggregator) rather than requiring me to check up on it.
I’m not sure what an RSS is actually, i don’t think i’ve heard of it before.
Actually i probably HAVE and i just can’t remember it.
You may have to forgive my technological handicappedness, uhhh, and my bad spellings.
I really struggle to use new things so unless it is simple i think i’m stuck here.
Maybe it’s best if someone stays behind anyway to keep the comment boards active : /
Well, from what Dr. Internet tells us, “RSS (most commonly expanded as Really Simple Syndication) is a family of web feed formats used to publish frequently updated works—such as blog entries, news headlines, audio, and video—in a standardized format.” From what I’m familiar with it, people would have RSS in order to know when a blog, webcomic, or whatever updated.
Meh. When I’m bored and I have nothing to do (or if I’m procrastinating) I just click through my webcomic bookmarks. I do it 0-2 times a day. It doesn’t encroach on my free time enough for me to care about getting an RSS feed. Maybe someday, though.
Visiting the websites of a couple of webcomics doesn’t take enough time out of my day to need to start… RSS-ing? So yeah, no RSS in the Ton Phanan camp.
I’m starting to get to the point where having so many things to check is getting a little cumbersome for a day-to-day routine… I mean, there’s a certain quaint charm in checking a couple of sites a day and saying ‘c’est la vie’ if they’re not updated and repeat that again tomorrow, but it’s beginning to approach the cusp of being sort of impractical, to the point where I might have the vague pseudo-seeds of getting an RSS feed potentially implanted in my mind.
What I mean to say is, it’s all very hazy at this stage.
Heya Ed. So I redrew my latest comic to try and make peoples heads less round. It seems better, but… I dunno.
Also you should be a detective with us! (note on this, detective names are only essencial whilst being immersed in the case, feel free not to use them all the time)kkm
Perhaps more specific tasks need to be set for each contributor Detective Ducks?
Also I was kinda disappointed when I arrived at Firman Productions just now and only saw two more comments. Well, after the flood comes the… Doubleplusunflood I guess.
*Salutes* Detective, I have the report here. It states… wait… this is the television schedule for tomorrow. Deeply sorry sir, it appears that I have lost the report. But if you look, it’s not all bad! House is on at 9!
Ironside, if the force hadn’t taken away my gun I’d be shooting you right now. Not about House of course, love the show, and I think we stand to learn a great deal from the grueling yet brilliant bedside manner of its brilliant doctor – but now’s not the time for that! We have a semi-innocent “man” lost somewhere! Now he’s been lost before, we all know this (and there will be links next time, I swear it), but that’s not what concerns us! What concerns us is – wait, what channel is House on? Because I’m down here in Phoenix and I don’t have cable.
I search all the local abandoned warehouses for signs of the Missing Person. I discover several Government-Endorsed Drug Smuggling Rings, as well as the occasional Illegal Cardboard Manufacturing Plant. I slay the Cardboard Gangsters and take their loot. No signs of Missing Person or further links towards the case.
I return to headquarters and report in to Detective Ducks.
I roll a one.
My report consists of me throwing up and then falling unconscious after carrying an inventory full of cardboard across town.
So our cardboard caper has gone flat. Well, that stinks. Has anyone put out any wanted posters? Newspaper prints? Craigs list ads? How hard did they -really- look?
Case Day: 138. There comes a time in every unsolved mystery when the unit doesn’t give up, but moves on to other things. The case receives something of a spiritual death and is shelved with thousands of other so called “cold cases.” I’m never going to let Moe go to that freezer. Sure, he’s a bit of a jerk. Teasing others, insulting them, assuming the police are just a transport from place to place. Maybe he’s socially inept on almost a Jerry Lewis level…and it could be said Moe’s skills in the romance department are a combination of Casanova and beer with queso. But this is my case, dammit! And he’s not dead! He’s out there! Maybe he’s been captured by a mad doctor in a dank sewer being forced to join a Moe man army! Or he could be out a date, with someone he knows, going horribly more wrong with each passing minute.
Greg that was good, but a better angle than that is the retro black and white detective movie narrator script. Also i am back from not having been here the past few days. I haven’t slept since sunday evening and i had wild and crazy adventures.
Pond swept into the room like a soft autumn breeze through a cracked oak door, steadilly but with a kick in it’s heel. With swift, flatfooted strides he eventually makes it to the desk and sits, rolling a small piece of paper and inside it, catnip. The smell permiates the air as the vapours sting the nose, tickling the backs of the private’s nose. He winces a little, and recieves a cold but unemotional stare for his troubles. No sooner had the detective finished and sat down, he stood again and pressed his finger hard down on the desk, and squawked loudly.
Pond: Well?
Dirty: Well…
Sighed the forlorn inspector as he clutched the short tail on his rather expencive jacket.
Pond: Well, what do you see? I want a straight answer out of you this time MacGarnacal and i want it faster than a finger on a guitar string!
He sits again, this time hard and the chair makes a short sharp whine, piercing the air around it as if it could shatter like foreign china.
Dirty: Nothing Sir. Your desk looks lovely as usual sir.
Pond’s eyes lower and his beak sits firmly upon his chiseled jaw.
Pond: That’s the problem Dirty ya brainless ninnyhammer! I asked for a report days ago and what have i got to show for it? This!
The detective throws a television guide onto the desk, sliding it across untill up falls softly onto Dirty’s lap.
Dirty: But sir i thought you might…
Pond: No Dirty i don’t wanna here it, not again. I don’t want excuses, i don’t want reasons… I want results. Do you even realise who the MP is? Did ya get the memo, or did ya blow your nose with it again!
Dirty: Absolutely sir, i mean no sir i di…
Pond: Dirty, my a4 is burning itself away here and i’m a busy man, i don’t…wanna…here it. I want you to go out into that bullpen, i want you to get everyone up off their worn leathered hides and get me some answeres! Am i clear?
He rose slightly off his chair with the last breath of that last crystal sylable. He stared deeply into one of Dirty’s eyes, so hard it almost retreated back into his small head. The PI leaned backwards a little to try and escape.
Dirty: Yessir, crystal sir, i’m already there s…
Pond: Dirty, get out of here.
Dirty: Yessir…
He rose sharply, knocking over his chair, and then fumbled to pick it back up, drawing a muttered impatient grunt from the detectives gullet. He righter the furnature, saulted feebly, then stumbled out the door over his untied shoelace. The old oak door swung itself to a close, letting in a slight breeze through the many small gaps in the wood, cooling the room after the heated discussionh which had taken place. Ducks sat alone on his fine leather backed chair, leaned and put his large feet crossed on the table, between his lamp and a small neat pile of unmarked paper, slowly chewing the end of his dead roll and shaking his head.
Pond: Amateurs…
He smiled.
Pond: But this job wouldn’t be the same without those cretins.
Dammit, Pond, you’re a menthol without the filter. Doesn’t help with the rain and the fog, how are we supposed to find anyone much less a hero like Moe?
A light smattering of rain begins to patter down upon the rooftop, slowly covering every surface it is able to fall upon. Sniper Felix Wolffe stands upon the rooftop, impervious to the cold and the wet assailing his position. He has held steadfast at his post; watching, waiting. Reaching into his breast pocket, he withdraws a large cigar and lights it. At this time of night, the burning end of his cigar won’t give away the rooftop vantage point.
The ladder leading up the side of the building begins to shudder as an unknown figure begins their ascent. “Quick Trigger” Wolffe remains unfased, recognising the steady climbing of one of the few men he trusts and whom know of his current rooftop assignment.
“Inspector O’Dowd.”
They were the first words that he had spoken in what seemed an age, but his voice floated across the rooftop, fully formed and easily audible to the man climbing the ladder.
A lean built man climbs over the railing present at the edge of the roof that encircles the building, landing heavily on the other side. He stands at six feet tall, stretching his wiry frame, not encumbered by overbuilt muscles, and glancing at his rooftop surrounds. A long brown coat framed his body, wrapped closely around on this rooftop, exposed to the harsh elements that were easily shielded when down on street level.
“Quick Trigger.”
A quick sharp voice floated back across space, returning the greeting offered as he had climbed upon the rooftop. Before this conversation was to continue, “Rogue” O’Dowd desperately needed a dose of nicotine. Out came his engraved cigarette case, and a well-worn Zippo lighter. Now satiated, a slowly burning European cigarette placed firmly between his lips, Inspector Harry O’Dowd was ready to begin.
“You know that they’ve begun to reallocate resources don’t you? The higher ups in the force have stopped believing this is a case worth solving. They say it’s going to be shelved, put with all the other cold cases.”
No response. Wolffe saw no need to reply. No part of this statement directly concerned him.
“We can’t let this case drop Quick Trigger. It’s too important. Whilst the bureaucrats who run the force can’t see that, there are a few of us who can. Detective Dawain is organising the last few who want to see this through to the end, for better or for worse. Whoever this Moe guy is, he’s not a bit part in the scheme of life like the ones trying to shelve the case seem to believe. He’s worth something, and we’ve got to find him alive, before it’s too late.”
O’Dowd looks on looked for what felt like an eternity. Wolffe seemingly betrayed no emotions as he casually leaned over the rooftop balcony and looked out into the now-empty streets below. Cold and damp, O’Dowd resisted the urge to call out to this silent bringer of death. O’Dowd had enough of a history with Wolffe to know his interest had been piqued, and so he waited for what felt like an eternity, standing under the foggy city lights.
O’Dowd was well aware that Wolffe, despite all appearances, was a man of ideals. O’Dowd knew it was Wolffe’s unshakeable sense of justice that found him striving to operate outside conventional law. If years of experience had granted him anything, it was instinct – and now it was O’Dowd’s instincts telling him Wolffe was the man for the job. He knew he’d come to the right place. O’Dowd knew Wolffe had accepted his offer even before this late night encounter.
Wolffe took a final puff of his cigar, and let it fall into the night below. He straightened up, and shot two words at O’Dowd in that gravelly tone O’Dowd was so familiar with:
“I’m in.”
O’Dowd said nothing more. They’d get in touch should they need to. He left the shadowy meeting on his own.
Wolffe smiled in spite of himself, spat to his side and lit another cigar. It was a long time since he’d had a real challenge.
This is getting gritty. I hope everyone else is enjoying imagining this entirely in sketchy black and white as i am, with only wind instruments playing the backing.
The rain outside made it seem as if the universe was on cue with the case. No leads, and no hope of any leads arriving. Unless Officer Ironside could do his duty.
He stepped once more into the breach that was the records room. The long hallway stretched out before him, lined with old bloodstains. Cleaned, but not forgotten. Whenever he entered the room, John never forgot the danger. People had died doing this job. Well, person. The old man who did the records had a heart attack on the job, and they hadn’t found a replacement. Ironside bore this in mind as he stepped inside.
He had to find the report. The report would contain leads, clues, anything that would kick start the case, validate it’s existence to the higher ups. But Ironside was not hopeful. Files lost in the records room were very often gone for good, lost in the multitude of papers.
John wandered down the aisle, looking for ‘M’. A chill went through his bones as he passed ‘Cold Cases’, reminding him what there was to lose. He turned up the radiator as he passed it.
*BANG*
He flung himself down, hearing a gunshot. Someone had clearly broken in, trying to steal the file. He pulled out his pistol, thinking that if he could prove that someone was trying to sabotage the case, the higher ups might give it another look. “Aim for the knees, John”. The words of his instructor came back to him as he stood up to round the corner…
Perhaps if we were given an anonymous tip-off, we could go on a raid? It may be more successful that my earlier rampages through the warehouse district.
(Hey, just wanted to say I’m not dead and still checking. Serious side-lines has seriously side-lined me. However, this does not mean we shall not continue to Moe)
(Perhaps we need to alternate between plots or something? Maybe we should operate in pairs or something. I dunno. We need intervention from above on this issue.)
(That was supposed to be a sad emoticon in brackets, like this: . I… couldn’t really go without fixing that, it kind of looks like a duck to me and this board’s only big enough for one duck)
I was hailing a cabbie when I heard it. Like a cherry bomb or a back-firing jalopy, only quieter, the kind of sound someone doesn’t want others to hear. I waved the cabbie off and ignored his ugly mug with my back. It sounded -like- those things, but when you’ve been through the Great War like I have, you know nothing sounds -like- a gunshot – nothing.
Except those things which are not a gunshot, but are audibly similar. Oh and sorry about the lack of commenting, I have been too busy not sleeping to think of something to say.
(Okay, I’m running on the assumption that both Ironside and Dirty heard the same gunshot? I guess I shall contribute to this multi-faceted view on the single event.
(I literally dreamt that Moe had updated several times, like two or three, over the night and I forgot to check. Imagine how difficult it was reading and checking back on a multi-panel webcomic that exists solely in a dream state)
Guys, never say you are going to do something with conviction.
Never even decide you will do something.
And never, ever, use the phrase “barring unforseen circumstances” or “unless something goes wrong”.
Told myself I would work on my website, draw a new page for my comic, go on a walk, sleep in, and tidy up today.
Got woken up early, with a blister on my drawing hand, my computer broke and I lost every single file, it rained, and the tidying took 4 whole hours.
By the end, the only work I got done on the site was a post saying how my previous statement had been cancelled because of the unforceen circumstances I so foolishly mentioned.
I think I’m not braining today but I can’t work out if you mean mine or not, because mine is already up. There are 2 active webcomics, mine is called “The Nobles”, though neither have many pages.
Cos at first I was all “of course he can’t wait for a new page, none of us can. No wait, he can’t wait for the website? Firmanproductions has been here a while, unless he means mine. Mine is also already up though, so he must mean… No wait there is nothing else to mean”
Thus, there can never be any confusion for even when one refers to Moe as a third party pronoun (he, it) or even as an article (the, a) it is known what the speaker means because there is nothing else like it.
Case Day: 170 Time to look for new leads on the case. And I’ll shoot the first man who calls it cold.
The third man will be shot three times, like you’d assume, but the fourth guy would be off the hook till I can go to the store. Bullets are dangerous…and expensive. It’s like I’ve got them just hanging around in my pockets in boxes of 50 now do I?
Yer blasted fool Flanagan, I’ve told yer before about wasting bullets!
They don’t grow on trees, and if you ain’t gonna carry enough around with ya then I’m gonna have ta take yer gun off ya, got it?
(I would write a thing or two about Moe or Superduck’s site, but I’m averaging 4 and a half hours of sleep for the past few days… just checking in again. I hope you guys don’t mind the lack of substance in my posts these days…
and yes, I absolutely insist on speaking in brackets when I’m out of character)
(While I’m here, it feels a bit sleazy to drop just to say hi and self-promote but I’m biting the bullet and hoping you guys forgive me. I’d be very thankful if you took a second to click my name and give my new site a quick perusal)
I liked the one of the man on the tree stump with a strange ghost wearing a mask looking at him. It was very nice. The others were…very…very.
I actually don’t know how to describe them, they are good, but…weird?
And if you are speaking out of character, you could just change your name back to Carp, like i do with mine see? We don’t mind at all!
It is also nice that you check back and just say hi even if you are tired and now being very entertaining, we like that.
And if you want to drop a comment like its hot about my website, you could always do it on my website. My comic is powered by wordpress and has a comments section like this one. After i approve one message from you, you no longer need approval to comment so don’t be confused if it doesn’t appear right away, and feel free to give me any critisisms because i need more feedback to improve.
Hehe, yeah my drawings are pretty bizarre the best of times. I noticed the comment section on your site… I will post once I’m not so deeply sleep-deprived I can manage to string more than a couple of coherent thoughts together
I dunno, I’m standing here, posting in the comments section… seems pretty lively to me. Maybe I just have a narrower definition of a ‘dead comic’ that Moe doesn’t quite fit.
It’s only been about a month. We’ve weathered longer hiatuses than this. Go check out the comments section for 356. Two whole months between that comic and the next.
And the thing I was thinking about, what other webcomics are out there quite like Moe? None, I say, and thus we remain our crazy loyalty so that we might remain when he returns.
And as for “dead” webcomics, is anyone familiar with VG Cats? It’s supposed to update once a week (Mondays) and yet barely updates once every -six- -months-. SIX MONTHS and that “gentleman” has T-shirts and appearance deals and kinds of other crap. So Sir Lord Firman is in a not drawing period. It will end. And the drawing period will return.
But here I am preaching to the choir, sorry guys, let’s get our Noir back on.
I must say, there.was only one other webcokic I found to be as naturally funny as Moe Comics, and at the risk I hold saying this in my present company, I think I may have liked it more…
Daisy Owl was just great! But the guy who wrote that stopped a while back, because he didn’t like keeping a schedule.
When it updated, it broke the theme section which meant nothing would show up on the page. It gave an instruction on how to enter coding into a certain file to downgrade it, but doing that only broke it more. Eventually i had to try and find a backup of those files but it never came back on. I had to delete it all.
oh wow get my laptop back from the fixerer bro’s and there is a new moe and a change to roleplaying tradition, so much excitement up in my residency yo, so anyway to the most important question of all: can i play too guys? pretty pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeee?
if it helps my detective name was gunna be [Omi] Corporal Nick (the hammer of thor) O’Mullane, but even the might of the thunder god cannot atone for my sins, someone get gregory his gun
The Hammer of Thor is not a nickname, because it is too long.
You could always use Mjyolnir, the name of his hammer, but that is probably not the correct spelling. We would all understand, because I just explained what Mjyolnir is!
Pond sighs dejectedly as he opens a drawer in his desk to reveal several small cigarello boxes stuffed with breadcrumbs, a fine pouch of his trusty catnip, and a small gun. He slowly removes the crafted revolver with his adjoined, feathered fingers and raises it to Dirty’s eye height.
Pond: You left it in my office. A-G-A-I-N. This isn’t some cheep empty wallet you can fritter away, for some reason i CANNOT fathom, your father gave you one of the best bullet jockeys I have EVER squinted at!
Dirty gulps and and leans backward on his heels a little, before rocking forward and cumbersomely reach out for his device. Pond quickly pulls it further away and forlornly states back.
Pond: Not this time Dirty. I can’t let some over-qualified drool dispensor run about tossing his gun across every room he blunder into! This stays with me untill further notice, and you are on warning do I MAKE myself CLEAR?
Dirty clasps his hands and kneeds them endlessly.
Dirty: But sir it…
Pond: FLAN-I-GAN! DO…I…MAKE…MYSELF…CLEAR!
Dirty: Yessirbosssir! Diamond Mr uuh um Sir!
Pond: The phrase is crystal! Getoutahere ya runt!
Dirty stumbles backwards and awkwardly fumbles the handle untill the door sways open, and he flees the office. The door slowly closes with a light thud as Pond replaces the gun and locks the drawer. He sits back a little and raises his feet to the corner of the desk, sighs once more, then reaches to his side and clicks on the Secretary’s intercom, hissing…
Pond: Send me O’Mullane. I want a quiet wooord with HIM…
Pond: It’s not god enough Mullane!
Yelled Pond as he stood up from his chair and simultaniously hammered his wing on to the desk.
Pond: Our plans were perfectly clear! We worked DAMN HARD to get this far, and these opportnities don’t come forward every day. It took you FIVE MINUTES after comming back to wreck this, and it isn’t good enough!
Mjollnir: Sir it wa…
Pond: I don’t wanna hear it! I didn’t grapple my way up the ranks to where I am today listening to feeble excuses!
Pond banged his fist on the table again, then turned away and grunted loudly.
Pond: One week.
Mjollnir: Sir?
Pond: Your on janitorials. One week. No questions. Last…warning. Capiche?
Mjollnir stood mouth dropped as if to retort, but he soon caught himself and straightened up.
Mjollnir: Yes sir, understood sir.
Pond: Good, next time I see you in this office, I expect you to be on the floor polishing furnature you got that? Now get out!
Mjollnir saluted, then turned as his shoulders dropped and left the room in silence. The door echoed quietly as everyone in the adjacent bullpen suede my realized no-one was working, and quickly began making noise again to seem innocent. Pond sighed and reached for his cigar box, realizing it was empty.
Pond: Huh, all out. It’s a wonder they lasted this long with this lot around. Firman help us.
*cleans floors for a week*
Mjollnir: man this sucks, also im not even sure this is fucking legal, since most policing agencies outsource cleaning duties to private cleaners, i should have just gotten desk duty instead of…oh crap who even eats jam any more this crap will take forever to get outta this shag…
Freako, isn’t that something like “buffalo(place) buffalo(animal(buffalo from buffalo)) buffalo(action ‘to buffalo’) other buffalo(place) buffalo(animal)… Um… Can’t remember the rest unless it is the same thing…
@Superduck Yeah, that’s the one. It means something like “Buffalo from Buffalo (that other buffalo from Buffalo intimidate) intimidate buffalo from Buffalo”
I’m still not sure if it’s really Firman’s birthday, but um, happy birthday I guess?
It’s definitely true everyone get’s at least one birthday a year. I don’t think we’ve wished a happy birthday -this- year, so I think we’re pretty well covered!
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
It kept me awake for most of last night and I just got in from a 7 hour shift at 2:00am…sooo…
Blah blah Moe, blah blah RP, blah blah pun, blah blah quack, blah blah ramble on for too long.
Gah! So close to fixing my website and I have hit a snag on the commenting front, ergo having no comments box!
Wordpress is so confusing and I don’t know which plugin you use to get a comment system!
Anyone know anything about it?..
When I do what for…oh, I get it!
Yes it would be nice to have feedback! Especially nice from you nice people. And if Mr Firman posted telling me how he made his comic so awesome I would be all…
I have a list of comic tabs that open daily. I see the same Moe comic probably eighty times between updates. Moe has been hit and miss lately, but somewhere in that head Firman has a backlog of gems, and they’re all surely worth the wait. tldr; this comic is worth it and anyone giving up on it is poo.
And it’s true people have periods (dare I say bursts?) of energy. For a while there, we were going strong. As Moe returns, so will others. Hard times all around, but it is the patient and awesome that survive.
I think that it is perhaps that the comments do not really reflect the visitors, because saying that I had not visited the site between my last post (April the 5th) and this post would be untrue. I was just reading the conversations that were happening and didn’t really feel able to or a need to contribute.
And Moe will one day return. It always has, and it always will. Lord Sir Firman must take his time, because with time comes quality.
i swear firman should make superduck and gregory mods or some shit on here, send them shirts or something, they are the most ever present buggers since herpes keep up the good work compadres
And you know what? I think I want to get these posts up to 500. Cheating-wise, mind you, because only through cheating could we make that happen, but cheating all the same.
“But cheating!” you might say, “Is that against the will and spirit of Sir Lord Firman?”
“Yes” I would reply, “but this is not the baleful cheating of the hack or the copy. This is the cheat of posting multiple times in the same day, sometimes in mention, other times in response. That’s totally legal mostly kind of not really.”
if i write in tiny bursts, (although it kinda makes me feel dirty cause its like cheating when you dont need, like in a gta game if you use a rocket launcher to kill a guy 10 metres away from you who is unarmed, it just isnt sporting)
It’s not sporting, you’re right, omi, but neither is THE NATIONAL GUARD TO CATCH ONE MAN. Seriously, a tank? A tank. A tank and a helicopter? So no matter where I run the helicopter is just going to radio to his buddy on the ground and play taddle-tale? I say thee nay. Maybe it could be considered unsporting, but once you realize that unarmed man is actually a martial arts expert trained in both tank driving and helicopter maintenance, you’ll see it’s not only sporting – it’s survival.
Alright, so this is comic 359. I think Firman might actually be playing a game with us. Get the comments to 359 and leave them there for a few days. After that, make ONE post. Decide amongst yourselves who will add 360. Be classy, make plea number 360 an actual plea for comic 360. Then, ya know … leave it alone.
Ironside cautiously peered round the corner of the shelving. Sure enough, a man stood there, his gun barrel smoking. It looked like a standard police issue pistol, identical to John’s in every way but one. The officer had more bullets. He ducked back behind, hoping he hadn’t been seen. He didn’t catch a clear look at the guys face, it had been too dark and he had been more focused on the gun. But now he was certain of one thing: The crime committed had been from within the police department, and if he didn’t act now, no-one was safe. He slowed his breathing, rose, and turned towards the shelf. Then he leapt sideways, firing his gun wildly at the mysterious perp. Too late did he realize he had not taken off the safety.
He barely turned from the file he held as he pulled the trigger. Once. Twice.
He lowered his gun, pulling out a lighter, and, lighting it, holding the dancing flame under the file. Once this was done, his primary objective, he shifted his attention to the body on the ground. He recognized officer Ironside, a dedicated, if slightly less than competent officer. After this, he would have to leave the department. The bullets could be traced to his gun, they would know it was him. But that was no great setback. He had achieved his goals within the department anyway. Now all he needed to do was make a getaway.
At the window, the rain came down in icy sheets, and he pulled out what looked like a grappling hook, firing a line of thick wire at the building across the street. He jumped, and rode the zip line to the other window, disappearing from view.
In the room, nothing remained in the silence, but a body, a bullet hole, and a lighter, carelessly dropped beside a pile of ashes.
A sombering silence hung as the fetid air aloely crawled through Pond’s feathers and petered down the alley path, clinging to the clothes of an old friend now late, as he often was. Pond bent down to retrieve a lighter, only to use it to cast flame onto his own paper temptress and heave a puff, before glancing across it and tossing the evidence aside.
Pond: Agony ya sunoffabitch…
The words escaped his beak and were lost in the cool but heavy breeze.
Wow, Ironside and Agony, awesome. Man, that’s good stuff. Ducks (because I know you’re going to comment on this) I like it a whole lot more when you have to react to someone’s post rather than speak for them. (Such as Ironside and Agony’s awesomeness) Now I’ve just got to figure out a response to this noir moe’nologue.
Mjollnir walked into the scene dragging his mop behind him, the light swung slowely above his head as he began to sombre task of cleaning the bloodstained carpet of the filling room. he calmly beganing cleaning the sanguine patch of ground covering whilst trying to stay out of detective pond’s way. the detective had more important things to worry about than a pathetic ex-cop and his bloody broom. He looked up to witness the great detective lighting one of his signature cigars all the while wishing he had just kept his mouth shut that one day. he knew however that what was done was done and he couldn’t change the past. his mop bumped gently into the body, as he looked down he realised two things, one: this body really should have been moved to the coroners by now; and two: mops are not meant to be used to clean carpet.
Oh and yes, there IS updating on my website. On account of it breaking? I’m guessing no-one remembers that but i fixed it and it looks rather different than it did before! (i couldn’t find the skin i used previously *caugh caugh*)
Also the commenting system is shiny and new, and it allows logging in via Intensedebate and nice things like avatars!
Inspector O’Dowd slowly extracted himself from his seatbelt, sliding out of the car onto the wet pavement. The drive to the Police Station had been long and uneventful. There were no cars on the road at this time of night. He had received his summons to his workplace whilst in his bed forty minutes ago. In this situation, hesitation was not an option.
The rain continued to pelt down, the drops of water splattering onto O’Dowd’s vehicle slowly slipping downwards toward the tarmac. The Inspector was already on his way in the opposite direction from the car, his coat wrapped tightly around him, his collar turned up to the wind.
Harry strolled over towards the heavy wooden door embedded into the wall of the police station, knowing that it would be the only entrance he could use at these early hours of the morning. He knew that he would not be disturbed on his way to the filing room, and thought it unlikely that he would disturb anyone else either. Swinging the creaking, ancient door open, he began to make his way there.
The room had already been cordoned off, but the police tape that blocked the door was easily ignored. Only two others were present in the room, the revered Detective Dawain and a janitor fruitlessly attempting to clean the blood-stained carpet. There was a chalk outline on the carpet, but the blood that had leaked from the corpse made it obvious where it had laid. O’Dowd knew that the workers in the morgue could be trusted for the work they were required to do. They were honest people who sought and provided only facts, and could not be bought.
The Inspector look over towards the Detective, looking for what hints he could find in from the highest ranked officer he trusted. Dawain’s expression was, however, unreadable. Although years of experience had taught O’Dowd that by this stage, Detective Ducks knew all that there was to be known about this crime scene, and that he would be told all that he needed to know and no more.
Dawain stood between the large window, now smashed, and the now-dry puddle of blood. Harry moved to a position on the left of the Detective, the nine o’clock to Ducks’ twelve. The two stood motionless, in silence.
He was obviously the first to have made it here following the summons, and only time would tell who else would arrive.
The janitor broke the silence to swear before he began to scrub harder.
I play a bar tender and I just CAN’T get the surface clean! Basically everything starts breaking and more and more people come to help, hilarity ensues.
The door to Apartment number 17 swung open, revealing a tall figure, clad in a trench coat. He strode into the hall, letting the door swing shut behind him. Ex-Detective Agony surveyed his home.
There were two doors from the hall. One led into the kitchen, which had nothing that he needed now. The other into his bedroom, and it was this one toward which he walked. The room was sparsely furnished, with a single bed, a television and a wardrobe. Flinging the wardrobe door open, Agony reached for his lock box. Within it were the only possessions he gave enough of a damn about to take with him where he as going. A picture of a smiling woman, holding a baby. A plain golden ring. And a six shooter magnum. He put the picture and ring in his wallet, glancing at the clock and realising he was running out of time. They had clearly found the body by now, and if he knew Dawain, they’d already know it was him. It both scared him and gave him a thrill to know he was directly pitting his wits against the best detectives in the department.
Replacing his old police pistol with the magnum, he placed his old gun down in the box, leaving the lid open. Let them think him unarmed, then let them run onto his bullets.
He placed a booted foot onto the sodden side walk, glancing in every direction and straining his ears for the sound of sirens. He heard nothing but the rain, the never-ending, all drenching rain, and the movement of far away cars. He began to walk slowly towards his destination.
gregory i was a officer breifly if you do recall before being demoted to janiter, i was a hard hitting officer like the hammer of thor, ruff around the edges yet lacking the heart of gold that would complete the timeless cliche, as such i am now just a gruff janitor who brings mops to a gun fight
As the last rays of sun shone through the window into the filling room, Mjollnir stood up relieved that he had, with more effort than he had ever used on any other job, removed all the blood from the ultra absorbant carpet. he wiped the sweet from his brow and exited the room, and then the building. As he strolled down the short road and then banked right into the alleyway in which he parked his battered old van he looked about surveying the exterior of the once noble HQ of the moe-lice station, now crumbling in decay, yet he wasnt moved to any grand thoughts of metaphors for corruption in the force or the decaying of morals.no, the only thing the janitor thought as he surveyed the decaying station with its peeling paint and scratched signs was: “shit if that plaster starts falling im going to need a fucking big broom.” and he was right
Superduck’s Ghost: Sorry, still too ill for any tomfoolery…
Future Superduck: Hey guys, did someone say…return of an old character?!?!
Superduck’s Ghost: No, shut up, or i swear i will come and do that to you while you are ill!
Future Superduck: That is why i’m here. To punish you for…actually this was a terrible idea, in fact it was the reason that…
Superduck’s Ghost: MY HEAD IS SPINNING AND IT IS TOO LATE FOR AN APOLOGY!
What? Someone stop him! Ducks can neither earn a driver’s license nor can ghosts legally drive a car! I’m not having my only mode of transportation impounded by some joy-riding ectoplasmic fowl!
*floats the car into the sea while standing on it singing sea shanties and playing an accordion. There is now a makeshift sail with a flag on it, a duck head and crossbones with a ghost tail underneath.*
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH…
Sailing a car into the sea rum pum pum,
What a pleasant life for me rum pum pum,
It’s gonna be such fun rum pum pum,
Now i gotta find me some rum pum pum!
It’s been 70 days since we last sighted land, but spirits are still high. The crew sings sea shanties atop the fair ship S.S. Krybaby, accompanied by a lone accordion. We stand surrounding the mast, the flag bearing the Beak and Tailfeathers blowing steadily in the gentle sea breeze.
First Mate Jonathon! How are we at finding the filthy galley licker who stole my car and set this entire boat off its journey to find the lost island of Moe?
Hull Scratchings of the Quartermaster: i be thinking that da capten is getun grumpy wat wif all da singin an such, he keeps sharpenin his swords an everythung, i be hopin he dun make me whip no one cause i haven told him dat i use me whip to help lash up the mast on his car before i realise it was gettin stolez from the place where he keep it before day, anyway all this scratchin on da wallz is makin me knife blunt so i think it be time for me to sod off
Och Captain, the search not be going well. Aye can see the flighty bugger on the horizon, but he keeps going at the same speed we be following! All be for naught unless we can find away to speed ourselves withoot aiding our quarry.
first mate do ya mean fire them behind us liek in da cartoons i get to watch on saturdays an such, boy i really like da cute mouse its so cute and it reminds me oh me childhood when i was a youngun and i had a pet mouse but i accidently dropped a boot on it and den it goes flat. or do you mean fire the cannons at the cap’n’s car cause im thinkin dat would mak ‘im mighty mad
(Well, that would be the next post so let’s make it a huge one!)
Boys, I think that’s the finest idea I have heard. Unmizzenmast the sidearms and bring them off port side. Secure them just past my poop deck and light the fires! Shiver me timbers, we’ll be dining on duck tonight!
A figure in all white watched the chase from his nearby boat, concealed behind a line of rocks. It appeared to be a pirate fight.
He loved fighting pirates.
The experienced ninja leapt from the bow of the ship, backwards onto the main deck. His Second-in-Command, Red Shadow, was standing waiting for him.
“Sir! The Shadow is ready to join the chase, if you so wish it.
The captain pondered for a moment, his face hidden by his hood.
“Hunt them.”
Red bowed slightly, quickly issuing orders to the rest of the crew, garbed in black, via hand signals. The ships oars began to move, silently piloting the ship out of the small natural harbour and onto the open sea, giving chase to the pirate vessels.
It quickly caught up to the larger ship, which was firing it’s cannons wildly. Being a ninja ship, it of course had unnatural speed. Before the crew of this ship noticed the Shadow, the captain threw a smoke bomb down, concealing them from view. He then moved back, so as to get a run up. Red cried out to him.
“Captain, you can’t fight an entire ship alone! It’s too dangerous!”
The captain grabbed his lieutenant by his shoulders, shaking him.
“You know the law! The more of us attack at once, the less powerful we are individually! I have to do this alone!”
And with that, he was gone, having very stealthily jumped to the adjacent ship.
Landing on the deck without a sound, White surveyed the scene. It appeared that the crew was attempting to fire it’s cannons to boost it’s speed to catch what appeared to be a car acting as a boat. He shook his head and drew his katana, simultaneously throwing several shurikens into the backs of five of the crew. He then moved quickly out of sight, seeking more important prey.
Eeeeeeeeeye beeeeeeeeee…
Sai-lin a-long on the ooopen seeea,
Stealing a car which was noooot fer meeee,
Caaaannon fiiiyer doesn’t scare me
cos i’m maaaade from stuuuuf that you can not seeee!
Yar har har boo am a ghoooost eye beeee!
Sailing along on the ooopen seeeeea,
Thars not a thing that could stooooooop meeeeeeeeee!!!!…
Saaaaailing along on the seeeeeeea____
Nooooooow iiiiiiii’m….
Singing along on the oooopen seeeeea,
seein the things that i waaaaant ta seeeee,
whether be pleasant as iiiiit could beeeee,
Bee-in undead is so eeeeeasyyyyy___
Yar har har boo am a ghoooost eye beeee!
Sailing along on the ooopen seeeeea,
Thars not a thing that could stooooooop meeeeeeeeee!!!!…
Saaaaailing along on the seeeeeeea____
Ooooooooh theeeeeeeeee…
Waters be thick but the waaaaves be cleeeear,
Sailing along till we fiiiind the piiiier,
Wailing a shanty thats miiiiighty queeeeeeeeeeeer!…
Tunin my accordi-on….bom bom…
Yar har har boo am a ghoooost eye beeee!
Sailing along on the ooopen seeeeea,
Thars not a thing that could stooooooop meeeeeeeeee!!!!…
Saaaaailing along on the seeeeeeea____
(Sorry, about that delay. And although I see some people against the ninjas, and I respect that, one of the most important rules of improv – a form of what we are doing here – is not to say “No” but say “Yes, and…” So we must accept this assault by Ninja, and then add our own observation on it. This being said, let us continue)
What? Here there be Ninja? Ooooo, if there’s one thing I hate more than car-boat stealing fowl, it’s Ninja! Dirty, sneaky ninja who interrupt a’ honest pirrate just going about his business!
First Mate Yorke! Fetch me the beer! And if we have no beer, get me the ale! And if there’s no ale, then haul out the rum! And should we lack the rum…draw out the grog!
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!! TONIGHT WE FEAST UPON THE FLESH OF THE VANQUISHED. also what about the mead we could always drink that or is the just for special occasions like birthdays
cap’n i was dun doin uh one of dem stocktaking thungs that you count tha thungs and i was countin da grog and food room on ma fingers and it seems we be lackin all da rum, i am of a suspician it was in ya car cap’n. however all da food is pretty much all der
I be thinking that this ship be going downhill, fast. But not sinking. Argh, damn me nautical metaphors. Recently things seem to be getting more and more out of hand. Rum keeps disappearing, and the Capt’n always be drunk! I suspect these two events are linked. And our food be disappearing at an abnormal rate as well. I think fish must be eating through the hull and stealing it.
I think that perhaps soon one of our trusty shoreboats may also go missing.
And I will also go missing.
With the shoreboat.
Because I stole it.
Jonny Yorke.
P.S. also five crewmembers died mysteriously. But that means more food and grog to go around the rest of us, aye?
Well, by too soon you mean over all around a thousand comments if i’m not mistaken. I think that might be a record. But i have not given up yet, i just don’t like how all the naturally funny comics seem to die out early…
perhaps someone in firman’s home country should use the miracles of the internet to stalk him and then send him a care package to let him know everyone still holds him in high esteem. i would do it myself but as a high school student in australia i am comparitively broke, with the comparison being to people with jobs, people in america who aren’t in high school. point is firman may just need a little bit of lovin
Wait just one minute, you’re in Australia, Omi? So combining Super Duck who (I believe) is a Brit, (and I’m a Texan), we could create Rainbow Half-Half-Dozen! *cue dramatic music*
West Yorkshire. And England isn’t that great, but we aren’t eaten by everything that moves here so that is something. Incidently as things have slowed down somewhat on the piraty and sleuthy sides of things, as have the comments, I believe it is time for a new approach…
PUN OFF!!!
Don’t ruin the 400th if possible though.
The rules will be simple, the first person to start punning will say anything (this should be me) and then the next person shall make a punny observation about that, or as many as they like, and try to lead it on. So I will start with a joke methinks, then re next guy to join in makes a pun about that, pretty simple right?
Campbell speaks it truly. I got the next strip open now and it is guaranteed to be anticlimactic! Thanks everyone for the dedicated support, let’s bring this bald bozo back into business!
Right well, it’s in progress, but I’m going to have to catch some sleep here now since my parents are coming to take me to a birthday brunch shortly. Yeah that’s right, it’s my actual birthday this time, disregard the misinformation commenters were spreading before!
For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow
For he’s a jolly good felloooooooow, and so say all of us
And so say all of us, and so say all of us
For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow
For he’s a jolly good felloooooooow, and so say all of us
And so say all of us, and so say all of us!
Of course i am punning but i would totally do that right now! However i am at work. And that would involve plucking alot of feathers.
In fact lets just hire a stripper for Firmans birthday.
Maybe i will badly redraw a part of my favourite comic when i get home.
I COULD say i would post a tribute on my website but for anyone who has tried to visit it, you will notice my brother had NO MONEY and now they want paying. Unfortunately, getting hold of them is like trying to pull teeth froma dead horses mouth. A horse which had no teeth.
Dang it. Got to start my day (and do not judge me, my time zone is later than yours). Be back in a few hours to see if we hit 500 before Moesday. Make me proud!
Sorry, turns out that “something” I got in 20mins as a nap.
Getting into a work routine I hard ; ;
NO I will NOT put some clothes on! I will be in my pyjamas forevaaaah!
I want to give Firman something but I am off to sleep now so ifni were to draw, it would be late tomorrow and also my drawing stinks
Guess I will go out on a song instead…
Oh Fiiiirmaan…
You caaame and you gave without takiiiiing…
And we NEED you today ooooh Fiiirmaaan!
Draw some coomics and stooop me from shaaakiiiing…
It’s your birthday today ooooh Fiiirmaaaaan!
February 14th, 2011 at 10:51 pm
MOE
February 14th, 2011 at 10:52 pm
I flippin’ love you, Moecomic. ♥s for Firman.
February 14th, 2011 at 10:53 pm
It loves you too! Happy Valentine’s Day!
February 14th, 2011 at 11:31 pm
MOST SHOCKING TWIST YET
February 15th, 2011 at 12:33 am
Moe moe moe
February 15th, 2011 at 1:13 am
This made Valentine’s day worth having.
February 15th, 2011 at 3:10 am
yaay
The month-long pause only served to heighten the shock of the surprise.
February 15th, 2011 at 5:18 am
Moe is so stoic and cool in the face of danger!
February 15th, 2011 at 7:59 am
Well valentines days sucks, but i guess if we get more Moe that’s ok.
Had to be something like this when you think about it, but it’s clever in that even though you knew this was what was going on you actually DIDN’T know until he told you. Dun dun dun.
Blah blah comic good blah quack whatever. Cheers Firman.
February 15th, 2011 at 8:01 am
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Moe is addictive,
Like sniffing glue.
(I presume, I’ve never tried)
Happy Valentine’s Day Moe! Did Lord Sir Firman ever make cards/images a few years ago or am I starting to finally pay the price for my glue habit.
February 15th, 2011 at 9:56 am
Dunno why I’m checking Moe today, not like there will be a new …. OMG! New Moe!!
Now if only we could get another update soon, start to build some Moementum!
February 15th, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Ton, your glue-addled brain is not mistaken! I did these Moe Valentines two years ago: http://michaelfirman.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=48#/d1udl02
February 15th, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Those are some pretty awesome Moe Valentines, I had honestly forgotten about those. And yes! The plot twists…a lot! My guess is on a cardboard box. But…why the pillow then?
February 15th, 2011 at 6:52 pm
MOREMOEMOREMOEMOREMOEMOREMOEMOREMOEMOREMOEMOREMOEMOREMOE
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 YAY
February 16th, 2011 at 1:47 am
If the clown saves Moe, the clown will probably kill himself out of sheer self-hatred for saving Moe.
February 16th, 2011 at 7:14 am
Oh wow i remember those cards now
February 16th, 2011 at 3:58 pm
The answer must be in the first comic, or one of these. One second, I’m going to check.
February 16th, 2011 at 4:05 pm
Okay, that proved much less effective than first believed. But there -is- an interesting point. “Moe went missing and was declared dead.” Either Moe takes REALLY long naps or they rushed the whole funeral process.
Now neither of these really explain where Moe is….so CSI: MOE continues, tomorrow!
February 16th, 2011 at 8:29 pm
Actually at the casual rate Mr Firman rolls out comics, it pretty much not going to be tomorrow. Unless you have changed from… What was it? First sargeant? To detective inspector, in which case you can hire some sleuths to help in the case. Of course they would need new, hard boiled names to suit their new roles. Alao I’m alive now so the name thing works TADAAAH.
February 16th, 2011 at 8:33 pm
That is how all the people who want in on this will set out their names by the way. Your origional name in [], then your title such as PI or detective, first name, nickname in (), then last name.
Those are the rules and SO HELP ME if I have to break some legs for a little order in this.
February 16th, 2011 at 8:38 pm
Any and all people reaching forward to change their name to either Problem Sleut, Pickle inspector, Ace Dick or anything else similar to those or other characters from MSPA, no.
No no no, no, no no nonono.
No.
Bad fans, bad.
February 17th, 2011 at 4:08 am
Now I gotta think of a name!
February 17th, 2011 at 6:14 am
ITS MY FAVOURITE CLOWNTOWN COME BACK
this is the best halloweenmas day ever
February 17th, 2011 at 6:24 am
Am i doin it rite guys?
February 17th, 2011 at 8:54 am
This is already deteriorating D:
February 17th, 2011 at 10:02 am
Hm….
February 17th, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Your title is not fish!
Why do i bother roleplaying with you guys
February 17th, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Hmmm, what’s up with the little sad face? That has not been there before…
February 17th, 2011 at 5:43 pm
I suck at roleplaying. Sorry.
February 17th, 2011 at 11:17 pm
I have a title?!
February 17th, 2011 at 11:36 pm
Don’t give up heart, Superduck. Or the ghost. Don’t give up either. You made me laugh like crazy at some of the responses (particularly [Freako] Freako Freako (Freako) Freako. Maybe that particular detective has a stuttering problem?) Okay, honestly, swear to Moe, tomorrow we’ll start doing some investigating.
February 18th, 2011 at 7:11 am
: /
February 18th, 2011 at 3:08 pm
(Yeah, I still can’t think of anything clever) Okay! So here are some basic facts I was able to think about. 1) Moe is wearing a suit. Why? Moe is normally naked so if he’s going to put on anything (much less a suit) it was for a formal occasion. 2) Moe was not doing anything with Bo. Why? Because Bo is a genius. He’s a crazy child astronaut. Nuff said.
So the main question remains, “What was Moe doing?” If we can figure out where he was, we can figure out where he is.
February 18th, 2011 at 8:20 pm
I just looked at the first page again. Man the art has improved since then.
February 18th, 2011 at 11:45 pm
That’s just how excited I am about more Moe.
February 19th, 2011 at 4:29 am
I’M TRYING MY HARDEST FOR YOU SUPERDUCK.
Also I am Gordon McClane who was John McClane’s brother who was one day an (police) office(r).
I APOLOGISE SUPERDUCK I THINK I AM NOT DOING VERY WELL.
February 19th, 2011 at 8:11 am
Yours is the best so far Inspector, even if you took the name from something else. I guess it doesn’t matter that much is you steal names, just not from other comics as that is shameful.
February 19th, 2011 at 4:31 pm
Alright, Inspector, so what news do you have on the case?
February 19th, 2011 at 6:14 pm
Gordon McClane got an email from his brother that said that terrorists and mobsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help.
(I love Half-Life: Full Life Consequences. Also, I have never watched any Die Hard movie)
February 20th, 2011 at 8:01 am
(Yeah I might just change my name to this because I find it more aesthetically pleasing than Gordon McClane. Sorry Freako, I think we knew that the parody wasn’t going to last)
Well, Private Eye MacGarnacal, questioning of the missing persons housemates is yet to reveal new evidence. All the information that is currently available surrounding the case is currently present on this police-issue whiteboard… That I shall conveniently let someone else describe.
February 20th, 2011 at 11:20 am
Thank you inspector, i will take the briefing from here.
Now it seems that Mr Dope had, to all his friends, gone missing and been presumed dead. However we have now determined that the coffin they burried was empty, and that in fact Moe is still alive. His whereabouts are still unknown to us, however we can use what basic evidence we have to come up with some basic theorys as to what happened.
Without going in to too much detail, the aforementioned Mr Dope is in some description of small, wel lit containor wearing a full smart suit and laying on a small well adorned cushion. This is odd, as Moe is usually seen to be completely naked. This would mean he would have to have been at some fancy get-together to have adorned such garments.
I theorise that, as we witnessed in past events, that two of his friends from the pie shop, who then fell in love with eachother in a hostage situation, were getting married, and invited Moe to the stag party. However, as he is not well liked, when he became drunk and incapacitated, they decided to play a practical joke on him by locking him in a small box. However, they gave him the small cushion so as not to wake him when his head went in, and there are air holes in the top, which are allowing light. Unfortunately in their drunken state, they completely forgot about the event, and took his failure to re-appear to mean he had gone missing.
I will leave this information on the investigation boards, and i expect a full report by the end of the day gentlemen (and any ladies).
February 20th, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Doesn’t a person have to be missing for 10 years to be legally dead?
February 20th, 2011 at 4:30 pm
Someone get that civilian out of the room!
February 20th, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Detective, I agree with the idea previously put forth but I have to add a second piece of questioning ponderance – has Moe actually tried to leave the box he’s in? From what I can discern he has neither tried to lift, nor adjust, nor shift, his current container. For all we know Moe is resting underneath a sofa cushion fort created by himself, for himself, and has simply forgotten the previous night’s events during a nap.
February 21st, 2011 at 5:05 am
What on earth happened?
February 21st, 2011 at 8:51 pm
Well sir due to the long waits between comics, a few of us regulars take it upon ourselves to keep the commentsboards floating and the readers keen. Writing poetry, diary journals, and roleplaying. We are currently sleuthing this mystery and you are welcome to join the force stranger.
February 22nd, 2011 at 12:14 am
(what the hell, I’ll give it a shot. I’m using the more typical nickname syntax, hope you don’t mind.)
Ah, er, Detective Duwain, I attempted to, uh, interview Moe’s former co-workers from the, ah, pie shop, but, um… well, I looked it up in the phone book, and spent about, um, six hours looking for the place (I get turned around easily, y’see), and, well… it turns out I went to the Best Buy instead. Yeah…
On the bright side, I got myself one of those fancy new GPS gadgets, so hopefully I can, um, figure out how to get it working and continue my, er, investigation…
February 22nd, 2011 at 12:28 am
Ah, eh, I meant Dawain, sorry…
February 22nd, 2011 at 4:04 am
Just checking in, too tired for fan-fic…
Maybe “High Priest” isn’t the most apt title for this scenario 😛
February 22nd, 2011 at 4:05 am
There we go.
February 22nd, 2011 at 4:08 am
Unfortunately this is a pretty bad week for me, in terms of non-Moe commission and portfolio deadlines.
Not to dissuade the pageviews and comment community bonding, but do any of you use RSS readers? That’s basically the only way I can keep up with a site these days. I can stay apprised of content better when it’s delivered directly to me (through an aggregator) rather than requiring me to check up on it.
February 22nd, 2011 at 5:34 am
(I don’t but can and will.)
February 22nd, 2011 at 6:57 am
I’m not sure what an RSS is actually, i don’t think i’ve heard of it before.
Actually i probably HAVE and i just can’t remember it.
You may have to forgive my technological handicappedness, uhhh, and my bad spellings.
I really struggle to use new things so unless it is simple i think i’m stuck here.
Maybe it’s best if someone stays behind anyway to keep the comment boards active : /
February 22nd, 2011 at 5:49 pm
Well, from what Dr. Internet tells us, “RSS (most commonly expanded as Really Simple Syndication) is a family of web feed formats used to publish frequently updated works—such as blog entries, news headlines, audio, and video—in a standardized format.” From what I’m familiar with it, people would have RSS in order to know when a blog, webcomic, or whatever updated.
February 22nd, 2011 at 6:05 pm
Meh. When I’m bored and I have nothing to do (or if I’m procrastinating) I just click through my webcomic bookmarks. I do it 0-2 times a day. It doesn’t encroach on my free time enough for me to care about getting an RSS feed. Maybe someday, though.
February 22nd, 2011 at 6:55 pm
Visiting the websites of a couple of webcomics doesn’t take enough time out of my day to need to start… RSS-ing? So yeah, no RSS in the Ton Phanan camp.
February 22nd, 2011 at 9:21 pm
Yeah I have everything marked and still don’t fully understand, so I will pass.
Besides, this passes time for my highly boring and uneventful days.
February 22nd, 2011 at 11:29 pm
I think we’ve misunderstood the question/statement.
February 23rd, 2011 at 12:41 am
I’m starting to get to the point where having so many things to check is getting a little cumbersome for a day-to-day routine… I mean, there’s a certain quaint charm in checking a couple of sites a day and saying ‘c’est la vie’ if they’re not updated and repeat that again tomorrow, but it’s beginning to approach the cusp of being sort of impractical, to the point where I might have the vague pseudo-seeds of getting an RSS feed potentially implanted in my mind.
What I mean to say is, it’s all very hazy at this stage.
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:14 pm
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Yeeeaaaaaaah
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:15 pm
so like, there i was…
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:15 pm
sitting in the couch
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:16 pm
(more like on my ass), feeling when the new moe’ll come out
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:16 pm
and i’m like, oh MY god,
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:17 pm
so Moe isn’t dead? I was like
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:17 pm
this is a great valentine!
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:18 pm
I felt kind of fat-lonely today
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:18 pm
kind of.. eating thingies
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:18 pm
and such…
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:19 pm
oh and also, i have a violin concert tomorrow ^^
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:20 pm
I’m probably gonna suck, at least my other fellow violinists won’t kick me too hard i think
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:20 pm
Heya Ed. So I redrew my latest comic to try and make peoples heads less round. It seems better, but… I dunno.
Also you should be a detective with us! (note on this, detective names are only essencial whilst being immersed in the case, feel free not to use them all the time)kkm
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:20 pm
yeah, it’ll be over before i know it…..
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:20 pm
detective?
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:21 pm
Oh wait we are typing at the same time? Sweet! Hiya Ed!
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:21 pm
i already posted a comment on your web thingie
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:21 pm
yes, hello
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:22 pm
Oh really? Haha I must have checked just before you posted it.
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:22 pm
yeah, probably
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:24 pm
man.. that clown is badass ^^
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:31 pm
Am i doing this right?
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:32 pm
Gov’noh’?
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:32 pm
oooh ooooh i know!
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:33 pm
God DAMN YYYEEEEESSSS!
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:34 pm
Your nickname is ‘Sucking’?
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:35 pm
Not anymore….
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:36 pm
well yes as an artist i am bound to have a looooww self esteem
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:36 pm
Haha ok, your title is supposed to relate to your station within a detective agency, and the brackets are you nickname. The names are fine though.
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:36 pm
and i do… (snickers) Gov’noh’!
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:37 pm
i think this is okay?
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:37 pm
are we all British?
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:39 pm
or better yet.. CAN WE?
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:40 pm
I am British, and yes iguess that is fine if you want your nickname to be raging : /
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:41 pm
okay okay.. is this better?
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:42 pm
Can we all British?
Invalid selection, please try again.
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:42 pm
Oh right.
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:43 pm
DAMMIT
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:43 pm
HAha man it’s up to you
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:45 pm
I’ll have a look at those pictures tomorrow when I’m at a computer, they won’t load on my iPod.
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:45 pm
Okay Cho”moe” Doh’, have you all seen this terrifying picture yet? Look at all those cars!
http://www.firmanproductions.com/latrine/moecarpunchshirt.jpg
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:47 pm
oh it’s okay it’s not like i’m ASKING you to click on my name and LOOK at my sucky pictures
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:47 pm
and sorry if you can see the picture i just put
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:47 pm
There are Moe shirts?
…
Why was I not informed sooner…
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:48 pm
I don’t think they’ve come out
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:48 pm
I say the picture on a website Firman “the great” responded reviewing his art and stuff… thingie
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:49 pm
This could only be better if there were a plushie huggable Bo…
WINK WINK NOD NOD
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:49 pm
OH SHI-
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:50 pm
Dude, that would be like, Firman production’s Christ”moe”as
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:52 pm
Oh, and just so everyone is clear…
NO-ONE is chief inspector!
There is only one person we address as ‘sir’ in THESE hallowed halls.
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:54 pm
Sir Forman?
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:54 pm
omg omg omg i mispelled what do i do omgo mog omg omg
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:54 pm
I’M FREAKING OUT MAN!
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:54 pm
my iPod is gonna run out of charge soon and it’s slowly becoming less early, so I may have to call it a night here.
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:55 pm
uuuh…. let’s try this….
*Sir Firman
Deeply sorry
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:55 pm
kk
c ya i guess
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:56 pm
In think he is the forgiving kind Ed, don’t panic.
February 23rd, 2011 at 10:00 pm
omg omg omg…..
February 24th, 2011 at 12:47 am
COMMENTS AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT!
…HUARGH!
February 24th, 2011 at 1:25 am
The number of comments has doubled since Ed started posting yesterday.
Ed is a commenting MACHINE.
February 24th, 2011 at 4:15 am
No kidding! I go away for a day and we come back with 50? I don’t know whether to cheer or be afraid.
February 24th, 2011 at 4:53 am
Holy sheet I cannot believe I just read all that. Insane commenting skills br”moe”s.
Oh noes a bro constrictor.
So when will we get back to ROLEPLAYING?
Moe’s disappearance remains unsolved and relatively uninvestigated.
February 24th, 2011 at 10:47 am
The Ton brings up a good point.
February 24th, 2011 at 3:28 pm
Well where did we leave off? I believe i asked for a full report on the goings on since his disappearance.
February 25th, 2011 at 2:23 am
Perhaps more specific tasks need to be set for each contributor Detective Ducks?
Also I was kinda disappointed when I arrived at Firman Productions just now and only saw two more comments. Well, after the flood comes the… Doubleplusunflood I guess.
February 25th, 2011 at 9:48 am
Well that is still comments! And IM conversations don’t usually happen on a comments board so just having one is a freak occurrence. Anyway…
February 25th, 2011 at 9:49 am
Alright people i want movement in here! Lets see some action! Go out and find out….if….something.
You heard me, go.
February 25th, 2011 at 7:17 pm
*Salutes* Detective, I have the report here. It states… wait… this is the television schedule for tomorrow. Deeply sorry sir, it appears that I have lost the report. But if you look, it’s not all bad! House is on at 9!
February 25th, 2011 at 9:30 pm
Ironside, if the force hadn’t taken away my gun I’d be shooting you right now. Not about House of course, love the show, and I think we stand to learn a great deal from the grueling yet brilliant bedside manner of its brilliant doctor – but now’s not the time for that! We have a semi-innocent “man” lost somewhere! Now he’s been lost before, we all know this (and there will be links next time, I swear it), but that’s not what concerns us! What concerns us is – wait, what channel is House on? Because I’m down here in Phoenix and I don’t have cable.
February 25th, 2011 at 9:36 pm
Keep it up. Every time a thread gets to 250 comments, Firman will do another Moe. Spamming counts.
February 25th, 2011 at 9:39 pm
Nice sweater vest.
February 25th, 2011 at 9:39 pm
Er, maybe just a vest. Nice vest, anyhow, Moe’s roommate.
February 26th, 2011 at 2:00 am
Geeze Louise guys, 131 comments at the time of this posting not counting MINE? That’s above average! That’s really really ABOVE average!
February 26th, 2011 at 6:30 am
I search all the local abandoned warehouses for signs of the Missing Person. I discover several Government-Endorsed Drug Smuggling Rings, as well as the occasional Illegal Cardboard Manufacturing Plant. I slay the Cardboard Gangsters and take their loot. No signs of Missing Person or further links towards the case.
I return to headquarters and report in to Detective Ducks.
I roll a one.
My report consists of me throwing up and then falling unconscious after carrying an inventory full of cardboard across town.
February 26th, 2011 at 3:28 pm
Sup guys, just checking in. Moe is awesome, etc.
February 27th, 2011 at 8:55 pm
So our cardboard caper has gone flat. Well, that stinks. Has anyone put out any wanted posters? Newspaper prints? Craigs list ads? How hard did they -really- look?
February 28th, 2011 at 1:07 am
I’m watching from the rooftops, with a big heaping cigar in my mouth and a few tons of ammo.
(maybe cigars aren’t the greatest accessory for snipers, but I need a look here)
February 28th, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Felix, what are you watching from the rooftops for?
March 1st, 2011 at 5:43 pm
Case Day: 138. There comes a time in every unsolved mystery when the unit doesn’t give up, but moves on to other things. The case receives something of a spiritual death and is shelved with thousands of other so called “cold cases.” I’m never going to let Moe go to that freezer. Sure, he’s a bit of a jerk. Teasing others, insulting them, assuming the police are just a transport from place to place. Maybe he’s socially inept on almost a Jerry Lewis level…and it could be said Moe’s skills in the romance department are a combination of Casanova and beer with queso. But this is my case, dammit! And he’s not dead! He’s out there! Maybe he’s been captured by a mad doctor in a dank sewer being forced to join a Moe man army! Or he could be out a date, with someone he knows, going horribly more wrong with each passing minute.
I don’t k’moe’, but I’m going to find out.
March 1st, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Greg that was good, but a better angle than that is the retro black and white detective movie narrator script. Also i am back from not having been here the past few days. I haven’t slept since sunday evening and i had wild and crazy adventures.
March 1st, 2011 at 6:28 pm
Pond swept into the room like a soft autumn breeze through a cracked oak door, steadilly but with a kick in it’s heel. With swift, flatfooted strides he eventually makes it to the desk and sits, rolling a small piece of paper and inside it, catnip. The smell permiates the air as the vapours sting the nose, tickling the backs of the private’s nose. He winces a little, and recieves a cold but unemotional stare for his troubles. No sooner had the detective finished and sat down, he stood again and pressed his finger hard down on the desk, and squawked loudly.
Pond: Well?
Dirty: Well…
Sighed the forlorn inspector as he clutched the short tail on his rather expencive jacket.
Pond: Well, what do you see? I want a straight answer out of you this time MacGarnacal and i want it faster than a finger on a guitar string!
He sits again, this time hard and the chair makes a short sharp whine, piercing the air around it as if it could shatter like foreign china.
Dirty: Nothing Sir. Your desk looks lovely as usual sir.
Pond’s eyes lower and his beak sits firmly upon his chiseled jaw.
Pond: That’s the problem Dirty ya brainless ninnyhammer! I asked for a report days ago and what have i got to show for it? This!
The detective throws a television guide onto the desk, sliding it across untill up falls softly onto Dirty’s lap.
Dirty: But sir i thought you might…
Pond: No Dirty i don’t wanna here it, not again. I don’t want excuses, i don’t want reasons… I want results. Do you even realise who the MP is? Did ya get the memo, or did ya blow your nose with it again!
Dirty: Absolutely sir, i mean no sir i di…
Pond: Dirty, my a4 is burning itself away here and i’m a busy man, i don’t…wanna…here it. I want you to go out into that bullpen, i want you to get everyone up off their worn leathered hides and get me some answeres! Am i clear?
He rose slightly off his chair with the last breath of that last crystal sylable. He stared deeply into one of Dirty’s eyes, so hard it almost retreated back into his small head. The PI leaned backwards a little to try and escape.
Dirty: Yessir, crystal sir, i’m already there s…
Pond: Dirty, get out of here.
Dirty: Yessir…
He rose sharply, knocking over his chair, and then fumbled to pick it back up, drawing a muttered impatient grunt from the detectives gullet. He righter the furnature, saulted feebly, then stumbled out the door over his untied shoelace. The old oak door swung itself to a close, letting in a slight breeze through the many small gaps in the wood, cooling the room after the heated discussionh which had taken place. Ducks sat alone on his fine leather backed chair, leaned and put his large feet crossed on the table, between his lamp and a small neat pile of unmarked paper, slowly chewing the end of his dead roll and shaking his head.
Pond: Amateurs…
He smiled.
Pond: But this job wouldn’t be the same without those cretins.
March 1st, 2011 at 11:17 pm
Oh hey let’s check moe i haven’t checked the website in a while oh holy shit it’s byrobot.com all over again
March 2nd, 2011 at 7:06 am
I’m going to do my best to attempt to top that brilliant piece of work.
…
Tomorrow.
March 3rd, 2011 at 2:18 am
Dammit, Pond, you’re a menthol without the filter. Doesn’t help with the rain and the fog, how are we supposed to find anyone much less a hero like Moe?
March 3rd, 2011 at 7:13 am
A light smattering of rain begins to patter down upon the rooftop, slowly covering every surface it is able to fall upon. Sniper Felix Wolffe stands upon the rooftop, impervious to the cold and the wet assailing his position. He has held steadfast at his post; watching, waiting. Reaching into his breast pocket, he withdraws a large cigar and lights it. At this time of night, the burning end of his cigar won’t give away the rooftop vantage point.
The ladder leading up the side of the building begins to shudder as an unknown figure begins their ascent. “Quick Trigger” Wolffe remains unfased, recognising the steady climbing of one of the few men he trusts and whom know of his current rooftop assignment.
“Inspector O’Dowd.”
They were the first words that he had spoken in what seemed an age, but his voice floated across the rooftop, fully formed and easily audible to the man climbing the ladder.
A lean built man climbs over the railing present at the edge of the roof that encircles the building, landing heavily on the other side. He stands at six feet tall, stretching his wiry frame, not encumbered by overbuilt muscles, and glancing at his rooftop surrounds. A long brown coat framed his body, wrapped closely around on this rooftop, exposed to the harsh elements that were easily shielded when down on street level.
“Quick Trigger.”
A quick sharp voice floated back across space, returning the greeting offered as he had climbed upon the rooftop. Before this conversation was to continue, “Rogue” O’Dowd desperately needed a dose of nicotine. Out came his engraved cigarette case, and a well-worn Zippo lighter. Now satiated, a slowly burning European cigarette placed firmly between his lips, Inspector Harry O’Dowd was ready to begin.
“You know that they’ve begun to reallocate resources don’t you? The higher ups in the force have stopped believing this is a case worth solving. They say it’s going to be shelved, put with all the other cold cases.”
No response. Wolffe saw no need to reply. No part of this statement directly concerned him.
“We can’t let this case drop Quick Trigger. It’s too important. Whilst the bureaucrats who run the force can’t see that, there are a few of us who can. Detective Dawain is organising the last few who want to see this through to the end, for better or for worse. Whoever this Moe guy is, he’s not a bit part in the scheme of life like the ones trying to shelve the case seem to believe. He’s worth something, and we’ve got to find him alive, before it’s too late.”
March 3rd, 2011 at 1:25 pm
O’Dowd looks on looked for what felt like an eternity. Wolffe seemingly betrayed no emotions as he casually leaned over the rooftop balcony and looked out into the now-empty streets below. Cold and damp, O’Dowd resisted the urge to call out to this silent bringer of death. O’Dowd had enough of a history with Wolffe to know his interest had been piqued, and so he waited for what felt like an eternity, standing under the foggy city lights.
O’Dowd was well aware that Wolffe, despite all appearances, was a man of ideals. O’Dowd knew it was Wolffe’s unshakeable sense of justice that found him striving to operate outside conventional law. If years of experience had granted him anything, it was instinct – and now it was O’Dowd’s instincts telling him Wolffe was the man for the job. He knew he’d come to the right place. O’Dowd knew Wolffe had accepted his offer even before this late night encounter.
Wolffe took a final puff of his cigar, and let it fall into the night below. He straightened up, and shot two words at O’Dowd in that gravelly tone O’Dowd was so familiar with:
“I’m in.”
O’Dowd said nothing more. They’d get in touch should they need to. He left the shadowy meeting on his own.
Wolffe smiled in spite of himself, spat to his side and lit another cigar. It was a long time since he’d had a real challenge.
March 3rd, 2011 at 6:48 pm
This is getting gritty. I hope everyone else is enjoying imagining this entirely in sketchy black and white as i am, with only wind instruments playing the backing.
March 3rd, 2011 at 7:15 pm
The rain outside made it seem as if the universe was on cue with the case. No leads, and no hope of any leads arriving. Unless Officer Ironside could do his duty.
He stepped once more into the breach that was the records room. The long hallway stretched out before him, lined with old bloodstains. Cleaned, but not forgotten. Whenever he entered the room, John never forgot the danger. People had died doing this job. Well, person. The old man who did the records had a heart attack on the job, and they hadn’t found a replacement. Ironside bore this in mind as he stepped inside.
He had to find the report. The report would contain leads, clues, anything that would kick start the case, validate it’s existence to the higher ups. But Ironside was not hopeful. Files lost in the records room were very often gone for good, lost in the multitude of papers.
John wandered down the aisle, looking for ‘M’. A chill went through his bones as he passed ‘Cold Cases’, reminding him what there was to lose. He turned up the radiator as he passed it.
*BANG*
He flung himself down, hearing a gunshot. Someone had clearly broken in, trying to steal the file. He pulled out his pistol, thinking that if he could prove that someone was trying to sabotage the case, the higher ups might give it another look. “Aim for the knees, John”. The words of his instructor came back to him as he stood up to round the corner…
March 4th, 2011 at 4:29 am
Case Day: 148
March 5th, 2011 at 6:18 am
Case Day: 149
March 5th, 2011 at 9:50 am
Who is Ironsides? You didn’t set out the name properly…
March 6th, 2011 at 1:41 am
Case Day: 151
March 6th, 2011 at 5:35 am
My finger’s getting itchy…
March 6th, 2011 at 6:06 am
Perhaps if we were given an anonymous tip-off, we could go on a raid? It may be more successful that my earlier rampages through the warehouse district.
March 7th, 2011 at 1:30 am
(Hey, just wanted to say I’m not dead and still checking. Serious side-lines has seriously side-lined me. However, this does not mean we shall not continue to Moe)
March 7th, 2011 at 5:06 am
(Perhaps we need to alternate between plots or something? Maybe we should operate in pairs or something. I dunno. We need intervention from above on this issue.)
March 8th, 2011 at 9:39 am
(Busy with school… :()
March 8th, 2011 at 9:41 am
(That was supposed to be a sad emoticon in brackets, like this:
. I… couldn’t really go without fixing that, it kind of looks like a duck to me and this board’s only big enough for one duck)
March 8th, 2011 at 9:41 am
(Is this even a board? More like a fancy lounge area I guess…)
March 9th, 2011 at 2:58 pm
I was hailing a cabbie when I heard it. Like a cherry bomb or a back-firing jalopy, only quieter, the kind of sound someone doesn’t want others to hear. I waved the cabbie off and ignored his ugly mug with my back. It sounded -like- those things, but when you’ve been through the Great War like I have, you know nothing sounds -like- a gunshot – nothing.
March 10th, 2011 at 10:43 pm
Except those things which are not a gunshot, but are audibly similar. Oh and sorry about the lack of commenting, I have been too busy not sleeping to think of something to say.
Quaaaack :()
March 11th, 2011 at 7:03 am
(Okay, I’m running on the assumption that both Ironside and Dirty heard the same gunshot? I guess I shall contribute to this multi-faceted view on the single event.
Tomorrow.)
March 12th, 2011 at 2:09 am
(Don’t worry, Sir Lord Firman. We will soldier on. We are the faithful)
March 12th, 2011 at 9:13 pm
I am commenting!
Too sleepy for RP though and I am going to knuckle down on my own website tomorrow. Don’t worry though, I am still a loyal fan.
March 13th, 2011 at 3:02 pm
(I literally dreamt that Moe had updated several times, like two or three, over the night and I forgot to check. Imagine how difficult it was reading and checking back on a multi-panel webcomic that exists solely in a dream state)
March 13th, 2011 at 8:22 pm
Guys, never say you are going to do something with conviction.
Never even decide you will do something.
And never, ever, use the phrase “barring unforseen circumstances” or “unless something goes wrong”.
Told myself I would work on my website, draw a new page for my comic, go on a walk, sleep in, and tidy up today.
Got woken up early, with a blister on my drawing hand, my computer broke and I lost every single file, it rained, and the tidying took 4 whole hours.
By the end, the only work I got done on the site was a post saying how my previous statement had been cancelled because of the unforceen circumstances I so foolishly mentioned.
I hate you karma. You are a jerk.
March 14th, 2011 at 2:39 pm
I look forward to when this website goes up, webcomic or not.
March 14th, 2011 at 8:34 pm
Which website?
I think I’m not braining today but I can’t work out if you mean mine or not, because mine is already up. There are 2 active webcomics, mine is called “The Nobles”, though neither have many pages.
My name is, and has been for some time, a link to it, but if not then it is http://www.wheelofpandas.co.uk
We is the only person we know to ever have visited it. Thanks for that Ed, and also for your feedback and contribution.
March 14th, 2011 at 8:36 pm
Cos at first I was all “of course he can’t wait for a new page, none of us can. No wait, he can’t wait for the website? Firmanproductions has been here a while, unless he means mine. Mine is also already up though, so he must mean… No wait there is nothing else to mean”
Then in was all confused.
March 15th, 2011 at 8:29 am
time for a new MOE!
March 15th, 2011 at 5:22 pm
There is only one Moe, and it is he.
Thus, there can never be any confusion for even when one refers to Moe as a third party pronoun (he, it) or even as an article (the, a) it is known what the speaker means because there is nothing else like it.
Case Day: 170 Time to look for new leads on the case. And I’ll shoot the first man who calls it cold.
March 15th, 2011 at 5:23 pm
And I’ll shoot the second man twice.
March 15th, 2011 at 5:28 pm
The third man will be shot three times, like you’d assume, but the fourth guy would be off the hook till I can go to the store. Bullets are dangerous…and expensive. It’s like I’ve got them just hanging around in my pockets in boxes of 50 now do I?
March 15th, 2011 at 7:32 pm
Yer blasted fool Flanagan, I’ve told yer before about wasting bullets!
They don’t grow on trees, and if you ain’t gonna carry enough around with ya then I’m gonna have ta take yer gun off ya, got it?
March 16th, 2011 at 3:39 am
(I would write a thing or two about Moe or Superduck’s site, but I’m averaging 4 and a half hours of sleep for the past few days… just checking in again. I hope you guys don’t mind the lack of substance in my posts these days…
and yes, I absolutely insist on speaking in brackets when I’m out of character)
March 16th, 2011 at 3:41 am
(While I’m here, it feels a bit sleazy to drop just to say hi and self-promote but I’m biting the bullet and hoping you guys forgive me. I’d be very thankful if you took a second to click my name and give my new site a quick perusal)
March 16th, 2011 at 7:17 am
I liked the one of the man on the tree stump with a strange ghost wearing a mask looking at him. It was very nice. The others were…very…very.
I actually don’t know how to describe them, they are good, but…weird?
And if you are speaking out of character, you could just change your name back to Carp, like i do with mine see? We don’t mind at all!
It is also nice that you check back and just say hi even if you are tired and now being very entertaining, we like that.
March 16th, 2011 at 7:18 am
And if you want to drop a comment like its hot about my website, you could always do it on my website. My comic is powered by wordpress and has a comments section like this one. After i approve one message from you, you no longer need approval to comment so don’t be confused if it doesn’t appear right away, and feel free to give me any critisisms because i need more feedback to improve.
March 16th, 2011 at 10:30 am
Ahem!
*Takes off sniper hat*
Hehe, yeah my drawings are pretty bizarre the best of times. I noticed the comment section on your site… I will post once I’m not so deeply sleep-deprived I can manage to string more than a couple of coherent thoughts together
*Re-instates sniper hat*
March 17th, 2011 at 1:25 am
Moving or not, Moe’s dead.
Or firmanproductions.com is, anyway.
March 17th, 2011 at 6:00 am
I dunno, I’m standing here, posting in the comments section… seems pretty lively to me. Maybe I just have a narrower definition of a ‘dead comic’ that Moe doesn’t quite fit.
March 17th, 2011 at 10:42 am
There are many who look but do not see.
March 17th, 2011 at 8:34 pm
Wait, moving?
Have I missed something here?…
March 17th, 2011 at 10:03 pm
It’s only been about a month. We’ve weathered longer hiatuses than this. Go check out the comments section for 356. Two whole months between that comic and the next.
March 18th, 2011 at 10:04 am
moes the stig
March 18th, 2011 at 4:14 pm
And the thing I was thinking about, what other webcomics are out there quite like Moe? None, I say, and thus we remain our crazy loyalty so that we might remain when he returns.
And as for “dead” webcomics, is anyone familiar with VG Cats? It’s supposed to update once a week (Mondays) and yet barely updates once every -six- -months-. SIX MONTHS and that “gentleman” has T-shirts and appearance deals and kinds of other crap. So Sir Lord Firman is in a not drawing period. It will end. And the drawing period will return.
But here I am preaching to the choir, sorry guys, let’s get our Noir back on.
March 18th, 2011 at 8:21 pm
I love VG Cats :3
I must say, there.was only one other webcokic I found to be as naturally funny as Moe Comics, and at the risk I hold saying this in my present company, I think I may have liked it more…
Daisy Owl was just great! But the guy who wrote that stopped a while back, because he didn’t like keeping a schedule.
Shame…
March 19th, 2011 at 11:56 am
Today my website broke and i lost everything.
If you are reading this Firman, don’t allow WordPress to update.
March 20th, 2011 at 2:23 am
Wait, what? How does updating WordPress bring down the world?
March 20th, 2011 at 8:42 am
When it updated, it broke the theme section which meant nothing would show up on the page. It gave an instruction on how to enter coding into a certain file to downgrade it, but doing that only broke it more. Eventually i had to try and find a backup of those files but it never came back on. I had to delete it all.
March 20th, 2011 at 1:38 pm
Duck that is brutal (and I didn’t even get to write a comment on the page – dammit!). My condolences
March 20th, 2011 at 8:13 pm
Meh, oh hey look almost 200 comments. We should try to make the 200th a long RP or a poem or something.
March 20th, 2011 at 8:14 pm
No cutting in just to say “DURP 200 LAWL”
March 21st, 2011 at 6:12 am
Well, if we don’t want that we better make sure we’re number 200 then.
March 21st, 2011 at 8:04 am
Oh my god my conservatory is boiling hot, i’m meltiiiiiing!
Promise me…you will braise my body in…orange sauce…
March 21st, 2011 at 3:57 pm
Superduck, I can’t even spell oreange.
*drops the lid*
March 22nd, 2011 at 6:32 am
And now I edge us ONE POST CLOSER.
March 22nd, 2011 at 4:16 pm
AND ONE MORE.
March 23rd, 2011 at 12:30 am
AND ANOTHER.
March 23rd, 2011 at 12:30 am
THE SUSPENSE!
March 23rd, 2011 at 3:32 am
oh wow get my laptop back from the fixerer bro’s and there is a new moe and a change to roleplaying tradition, so much excitement up in my residency yo, so anyway to the most important question of all: can i play too guys? pretty pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeee?
March 23rd, 2011 at 3:38 am
oh shit i ruined it :'( must read comments before i make one im sorry ill go back to my corner now
March 23rd, 2011 at 3:48 am
Superduck…Tom…
GET.
MY.
GUN.
March 23rd, 2011 at 4:03 am
–
March 23rd, 2011 at 4:21 am
if it helps my detective name was gunna be [Omi] Corporal Nick (the hammer of thor) O’Mullane, but even the might of the thunder god cannot atone for my sins, someone get gregory his gun
March 23rd, 2011 at 8:52 am
what if MOEs really is dead?
March 23rd, 2011 at 8:08 pm
Well, I for one would keep on checking until Firman himself declares it dead. And even then, I’d check back every once in a while.
March 23rd, 2011 at 8:17 pm
The Hammer of Thor is not a nickname, because it is too long.
You could always use Mjyolnir, the name of his hammer, but that is probably not the correct spelling. We would all understand, because I just explained what Mjyolnir is!
March 23rd, 2011 at 8:39 pm
Pond sighs dejectedly as he opens a drawer in his desk to reveal several small cigarello boxes stuffed with breadcrumbs, a fine pouch of his trusty catnip, and a small gun. He slowly removes the crafted revolver with his adjoined, feathered fingers and raises it to Dirty’s eye height.
Pond: You left it in my office. A-G-A-I-N. This isn’t some cheep empty wallet you can fritter away, for some reason i CANNOT fathom, your father gave you one of the best bullet jockeys I have EVER squinted at!
Dirty gulps and and leans backward on his heels a little, before rocking forward and cumbersomely reach out for his device. Pond quickly pulls it further away and forlornly states back.
Pond: Not this time Dirty. I can’t let some over-qualified drool dispensor run about tossing his gun across every room he blunder into! This stays with me untill further notice, and you are on warning do I MAKE myself CLEAR?
Dirty clasps his hands and kneeds them endlessly.
Dirty: But sir it…
Pond: FLAN-I-GAN! DO…I…MAKE…MYSELF…CLEAR!
Dirty: Yessirbosssir! Diamond Mr uuh um Sir!
Pond: The phrase is crystal! Getoutahere ya runt!
Dirty stumbles backwards and awkwardly fumbles the handle untill the door sways open, and he flees the office. The door slowly closes with a light thud as Pond replaces the gun and locks the drawer. He sits back a little and raises his feet to the corner of the desk, sighs once more, then reaches to his side and clicks on the Secretary’s intercom, hissing…
Pond: Send me O’Mullane. I want a quiet wooord with HIM…
March 24th, 2011 at 6:39 am
its mjollnir for future reference and i guess that is ok, although it could be abbreviated to hammer as well
March 24th, 2011 at 6:41 am
d..de..detective?
March 24th, 2011 at 8:27 pm
Pond: It’s not god enough Mullane!
Yelled Pond as he stood up from his chair and simultaniously hammered his wing on to the desk.
Pond: Our plans were perfectly clear! We worked DAMN HARD to get this far, and these opportnities don’t come forward every day. It took you FIVE MINUTES after comming back to wreck this, and it isn’t good enough!
Mjollnir: Sir it wa…
Pond: I don’t wanna hear it! I didn’t grapple my way up the ranks to where I am today listening to feeble excuses!
Pond banged his fist on the table again, then turned away and grunted loudly.
Pond: One week.
Mjollnir: Sir?
Pond: Your on janitorials. One week. No questions. Last…warning. Capiche?
Mjollnir stood mouth dropped as if to retort, but he soon caught himself and straightened up.
Mjollnir: Yes sir, understood sir.
Pond: Good, next time I see you in this office, I expect you to be on the floor polishing furnature you got that? Now get out!
Mjollnir saluted, then turned as his shoulders dropped and left the room in silence. The door echoed quietly as everyone in the adjacent bullpen suede my realized no-one was working, and quickly began making noise again to seem innocent. Pond sighed and reached for his cigar box, realizing it was empty.
Pond: Huh, all out. It’s a wonder they lasted this long with this lot around. Firman help us.
March 24th, 2011 at 11:22 pm
*cleans floors for a week*
Mjollnir: man this sucks, also im not even sure this is fucking legal, since most policing agencies outsource cleaning duties to private cleaners, i should have just gotten desk duty instead of…oh crap who even eats jam any more this crap will take forever to get outta this shag…
Pond: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT RANTING MONOLOGUES!!!
Mjollnir: sorry chief *aside* damn facist
March 26th, 2011 at 10:47 am
(MOE MOE MOE MOE, MOE’D MOE MOE MOE MOE)
March 26th, 2011 at 3:05 pm
Is that supposed to be like “Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo” (which is a grammatically correct sentence, by the way)?
March 26th, 2011 at 7:17 pm
(Actually is was meant more as a “Blue Mooooooon” kind of metaphor)
March 27th, 2011 at 7:17 pm
Freako, isn’t that something like “buffalo(place) buffalo(animal(buffalo from buffalo)) buffalo(action ‘to buffalo’) other buffalo(place) buffalo(animal)… Um… Can’t remember the rest unless it is the same thing…
March 28th, 2011 at 3:30 am
Did this website go down?
March 28th, 2011 at 8:25 pm
It might have, I tried to access it a couple of times yesterday with no success.
March 29th, 2011 at 5:17 am
But now it’s back up!
March 29th, 2011 at 7:42 am
And everything goes back to normal with the return of access to Moe and Lord Sir Firman.
March 29th, 2011 at 3:32 pm
Happy birthday, Michael Firman!
March 29th, 2011 at 8:03 pm
Birthday?
Um…
Grats.
March 29th, 2011 at 10:54 pm
happy apparent yesterday-birthday fir-master!
March 30th, 2011 at 12:01 am
I think that this Lord Sir Firman Birthday Theory has been disproven, but it is still an excellent occasion to bring up this.
This being the thing that my name links to.
March 30th, 2011 at 12:11 am
Check out 237 (http://www.firmanproductions.com/?p=551) and 336 (http://www.firmanproductions.com/?p=666) if you’re interested I guess?
Yeah I know I am totally great at this linking in HTML thing.
Also His birthday seems to move forward one day each year?
March 30th, 2011 at 1:51 am
I’m still alive!
Happy belated Firman!
March 30th, 2011 at 4:02 am
Happy Birthday, Sir Lord Firman!
March 30th, 2011 at 7:12 am
@Superduck Yeah, that’s the one. It means something like “Buffalo from Buffalo (that other buffalo from Buffalo intimidate) intimidate buffalo from Buffalo”
I’m still not sure if it’s really Firman’s birthday, but um, happy birthday I guess?
March 30th, 2011 at 10:42 am
It’s definitely true everyone get’s at least one birthday a year. I don’t think we’ve wished a happy birthday -this- year, so I think we’re pretty well covered!
March 30th, 2011 at 7:54 pm
Guys, picture this for me…
Sweet Moe, and Hella Jeff!
I warned you about stairs Moe… I TOLD YOU DAWG!!!
March 30th, 2011 at 8:00 pm
“ERR………….. UH MOE?”
“YEAH DUDE”
“WHERE ARE YOURE PANTS….?
April 1st, 2011 at 2:33 am
I think Moe would make another great cameo in MSPAINTADVENTURES. Anyone seen his first combat entry in Problem Sleuth?
April 1st, 2011 at 2:35 am
And we better rock this board with some April Fools!
April 1st, 2011 at 6:37 pm
I did in fact see that. Summon the raging fury that is Moe!
Unsummon Moe because he is useless.
Also i hate April Fools Day and will have no part in these shenanigans!
On an unrelated note, i have a dog now called Millie. Daw :3
April 2nd, 2011 at 5:07 am
Heh heh heh.
/unsummon Moe
April 2nd, 2011 at 6:51 pm
What kind of dog, Superduck? I love dogs.
April 2nd, 2011 at 8:56 pm
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
It kept me awake for most of last night and I just got in from a 7 hour shift at 2:00am…sooo…
Blah blah Moe, blah blah RP, blah blah pun, blah blah quack, blah blah ramble on for too long.
Blah blah sleep zzzzzz…
April 3rd, 2011 at 3:24 am
Oh man guys I want new Moe so bad
April 3rd, 2011 at 5:46 am
i was so happy when moe appeared in problem sleuth
i had completely forgot about that!
it was amazing
April 3rd, 2011 at 9:12 am
We all do Tim, we all do.
April 3rd, 2011 at 7:43 pm
Gah! So close to fixing my website and I have hit a snag on the commenting front, ergo having no comments box!
Wordpress is so confusing and I don’t know which plugin you use to get a comment system!
Anyone know anything about it?..
April 3rd, 2011 at 11:25 pm
I don’t. I’m going to be especially happy when you do for asking questions and the like.
April 4th, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Day 44
April 4th, 2011 at 7:41 pm
When I do what for…oh, I get it!
Yes it would be nice to have feedback! Especially nice from you nice people. And if Mr Firman posted telling me how he made his comic so awesome I would be all…
NOWAI!
And then you guys would be like…
YAWAI!!!
And I would be like…
:3
April 4th, 2011 at 7:42 pm
Actually…
I could attempt this comments thing…RIGHT…NOW…
April 4th, 2011 at 7:45 pm
Nuuuuu… ; ;
April 5th, 2011 at 1:00 am
carp checking in
April 5th, 2011 at 6:52 am
Little to report. Oh! We are going to be hitting 250 mark soon. We should try to aim something big for that.
April 5th, 2011 at 8:59 am
The person who posts next has an enormous amount of pressure on them.
You can do it buddy.
I believe in you.
April 5th, 2011 at 12:44 pm
Um…
*does the hammer slide*
April 5th, 2011 at 2:48 pm
All work and no Moe makes Jackie a dull boy.
April 5th, 2011 at 4:00 pm
I think a ghostly hammer slide is just what the doctor ordered.
April 5th, 2011 at 7:28 pm
As a ghost, I am authorized to inform you all:
U can’t touch this.
April 6th, 2011 at 2:05 am
a better title for this comic would have been
a clown MOElests a corpse with pee
April 7th, 2011 at 4:56 am
How would that have been better?
April 7th, 2011 at 10:17 am
It involves the name ‘Moe’.
Isn’t actually better though, i think Firman knows what he is doing : /
Ed is now mentioned on my website under important people. God speed Ed! *Salute*
April 8th, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Doesn’t “God speed” usually refer to someone who’s passed on?
April 9th, 2011 at 6:33 am
Or someone who is about to do something great and or dangerous.
April 9th, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Oh Firman. You are so cruel to us lonely fans.
April 9th, 2011 at 4:02 pm
Fix a website without any knowledge of what i am doing and actually improve the comment system?
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!
And completed.
April 9th, 2011 at 10:01 pm
Let’s take the time now to produce our own content for this lovely website http://goggles.sneakygcr.net/
April 10th, 2011 at 3:02 am
He is absent, Remiel, but never cruel. Is it not true he sees every word? He will return to us. He always has and always will.
April 10th, 2011 at 6:09 pm
There has been little commenting recently, i think people are starting to check back less and not bothering to stay…
April 10th, 2011 at 9:08 pm
I have a list of comic tabs that open daily. I see the same Moe comic probably eighty times between updates. Moe has been hit and miss lately, but somewhere in that head Firman has a backlog of gems, and they’re all surely worth the wait. tldr; this comic is worth it and anyone giving up on it is poo.
April 10th, 2011 at 11:16 pm
And it’s true people have periods (dare I say bursts?) of energy. For a while there, we were going strong. As Moe returns, so will others. Hard times all around, but it is the patient and awesome that survive.
April 11th, 2011 at 2:26 am
I think that it is perhaps that the comments do not really reflect the visitors, because saying that I had not visited the site between my last post (April the 5th) and this post would be untrue. I was just reading the conversations that were happening and didn’t really feel able to or a need to contribute.
And Moe will one day return. It always has, and it always will. Lord Sir Firman must take his time, because with time comes quality.
April 11th, 2011 at 4:28 am
Ton has a really good point.
April 12th, 2011 at 12:55 am
i think MOE really is dead. :((((((((((((((((((
April 12th, 2011 at 10:42 am
No. I think Sir Lord Firman would be clear with us on that, campbell. Do not give up hope.
April 12th, 2011 at 11:09 am
Hehe, period…
Anyone want to leave me a comment on my website?
April 13th, 2011 at 5:34 am
i swear firman should make superduck and gregory mods or some shit on here, send them shirts or something, they are the most ever present buggers since herpes
keep up the good work compadres
April 13th, 2011 at 6:46 am
Daaaaw…
Your kind words would warm my heart if i wasn’t dead.
They also sort of creep me out on account of being compared to herpes…
But thanks anyway :3
April 13th, 2011 at 2:31 pm
Thank you, omi, you got to stand with what you believe in.
April 13th, 2011 at 3:51 pm
And you know what? I think I want to get these posts up to 500. Cheating-wise, mind you, because only through cheating could we make that happen, but cheating all the same.
“But cheating!” you might say, “Is that against the will and spirit of Sir Lord Firman?”
“Yes” I would reply, “but this is not the baleful cheating of the hack or the copy. This is the cheat of posting multiple times in the same day, sometimes in mention, other times in response. That’s totally legal mostly kind of not really.”
That being said…let us begin!
April 13th, 2011 at 6:29 pm
Happy 4/13, everybody!
April 14th, 2011 at 2:13 am
I just read Freakos comment at 4:13pm (my time).
Freaky.
April 14th, 2011 at 5:25 am
oooooooo (cue ominous music)
April 14th, 2011 at 7:14 am
WHY IS IT SO WELL LIT IN THERE I MUST KNOW
a better title for this comic would be ‘a clown pees on moe’
April 14th, 2011 at 7:15 am
and by this comic i mean the entire series
April 14th, 2011 at 7:21 am
You seem set on changing the title of this comic Muke.
“This comic” of course referring to this individual strip and the strip as a whole.
Also I think we should be well-prepared far in advance of the 300th post.
e.g. now
April 14th, 2011 at 8:23 am
i think 500 is an achievable task
April 14th, 2011 at 8:24 am
especially
April 14th, 2011 at 8:25 am
if i write in tiny bursts, (although it kinda makes me feel dirty cause its like cheating when you dont need, like in a gta game if you use a rocket launcher to kill a guy 10 metres away from you who is unarmed, it just isnt sporting)
April 14th, 2011 at 4:31 pm
It’s not sporting, you’re right, omi, but neither is THE NATIONAL GUARD TO CATCH ONE MAN. Seriously, a tank? A tank. A tank and a helicopter? So no matter where I run the helicopter is just going to radio to his buddy on the ground and play taddle-tale? I say thee nay. Maybe it could be considered unsporting, but once you realize that unarmed man is actually a martial arts expert trained in both tank driving and helicopter maintenance, you’ll see it’s not only sporting – it’s survival.
April 15th, 2011 at 4:21 am
Is someone not playing nice with you? Want me to have a “word” with them for you?
*charges lazer eyes*
April 15th, 2011 at 7:21 am
Just adding a pebble to the avalance of woe that is Moe’sday Eve. It’s always Moe’sday Eve. Always.
April 15th, 2011 at 7:23 am
Alright, so this is comic 359. I think Firman might actually be playing a game with us. Get the comments to 359 and leave them there for a few days. After that, make ONE post. Decide amongst yourselves who will add 360. Be classy, make plea number 360 an actual plea for comic 360. Then, ya know … leave it alone.
April 15th, 2011 at 8:09 am
I very much doubt that anyone here would be able to “leave it alone”.
I know I wouldn’t/couldn’t.
April 16th, 2011 at 1:45 am
Dare I say we shouldn’t?
April 16th, 2011 at 9:40 am
Ouldn’t ouldn’t ouldn’t.
Um…
Comic please i guess?
I always get the good bits :3
April 16th, 2011 at 6:29 pm
Oh, dear god, and still the Firman is yet to publish, sometimes you wonder if he’ll ever get enough Firman time to publish ANYTHING.
April 16th, 2011 at 6:30 pm
It’s like
April 16th, 2011 at 6:30 pm
Sad and stuff
April 16th, 2011 at 8:10 pm
It is totally sad and stuff.
Ohay I lost the link to that picture you drew me
Can you send me another?
April 17th, 2011 at 4:58 am
Ironside cautiously peered round the corner of the shelving. Sure enough, a man stood there, his gun barrel smoking. It looked like a standard police issue pistol, identical to John’s in every way but one. The officer had more bullets. He ducked back behind, hoping he hadn’t been seen. He didn’t catch a clear look at the guys face, it had been too dark and he had been more focused on the gun. But now he was certain of one thing: The crime committed had been from within the police department, and if he didn’t act now, no-one was safe. He slowed his breathing, rose, and turned towards the shelf. Then he leapt sideways, firing his gun wildly at the mysterious perp. Too late did he realize he had not taken off the safety.
April 17th, 2011 at 5:31 am
He barely turned from the file he held as he pulled the trigger. Once. Twice.
He lowered his gun, pulling out a lighter, and, lighting it, holding the dancing flame under the file. Once this was done, his primary objective, he shifted his attention to the body on the ground. He recognized officer Ironside, a dedicated, if slightly less than competent officer. After this, he would have to leave the department. The bullets could be traced to his gun, they would know it was him. But that was no great setback. He had achieved his goals within the department anyway. Now all he needed to do was make a getaway.
At the window, the rain came down in icy sheets, and he pulled out what looked like a grappling hook, firing a line of thick wire at the building across the street. He jumped, and rode the zip line to the other window, disappearing from view.
In the room, nothing remained in the silence, but a body, a bullet hole, and a lighter, carelessly dropped beside a pile of ashes.
April 17th, 2011 at 12:26 pm
almost out of peanut butter, what am i ment to eat whilst tapping f5 repeatadly and staring at the screen hoping for an update? WHAT I ASK YOU?!?!?
April 17th, 2011 at 7:35 pm
Pond: Your tongue! Show some respect.
A sombering silence hung as the fetid air aloely crawled through Pond’s feathers and petered down the alley path, clinging to the clothes of an old friend now late, as he often was. Pond bent down to retrieve a lighter, only to use it to cast flame onto his own paper temptress and heave a puff, before glancing across it and tossing the evidence aside.
Pond: Agony ya sunoffabitch…
The words escaped his beak and were lost in the cool but heavy breeze.
Pond: Get me my men. Tell em we’re hunting a fox.
April 17th, 2011 at 7:37 pm
Not sure why that hapena but it just DOES!
Second line is meant to say “slowly”
April 17th, 2011 at 11:27 pm
Here it is i say here it is,
http://greenedson.deviantart.com/gallery/28223020#/d3agj8a
April 17th, 2011 at 11:29 pm
By they way, no ‘moe’ updating on your website?
April 17th, 2011 at 11:36 pm
Oop, there it is.
Nice website, Duck
April 17th, 2011 at 11:49 pm
Wow, Ironside and Agony, awesome. Man, that’s good stuff. Ducks (because I know you’re going to comment on this) I like it a whole lot more when you have to react to someone’s post rather than speak for them. (Such as Ironside and Agony’s awesomeness) Now I’ve just got to figure out a response to this noir moe’nologue.
April 18th, 2011 at 12:21 am
Are you all familiar with Valve and their great games?
Portal 2 looks awesome!
April 18th, 2011 at 1:32 am
Mjollnir walked into the scene dragging his mop behind him, the light swung slowely above his head as he began to sombre task of cleaning the bloodstained carpet of the filling room. he calmly beganing cleaning the sanguine patch of ground covering whilst trying to stay out of detective pond’s way. the detective had more important things to worry about than a pathetic ex-cop and his bloody broom. He looked up to witness the great detective lighting one of his signature cigars all the while wishing he had just kept his mouth shut that one day. he knew however that what was done was done and he couldn’t change the past. his mop bumped gently into the body, as he looked down he realised two things, one: this body really should have been moved to the coroners by now; and two: mops are not meant to be used to clean carpet.
April 18th, 2011 at 3:14 am
(we named our janitor after a weapon of the Norse gods? I want to work at this police department!)
April 18th, 2011 at 3:16 am
(heh heh heh, “mops are not meant to be used to clean carpet”, heh heh heh)
April 18th, 2011 at 3:19 am
@Ed I bought the Potato Sack just so it would come out faster. Only 25 hours until launch! 😀
I hope my final grades don’t suffer from all these new games I’m getting…
April 18th, 2011 at 4:30 am
Of course we know about Valve! I am an avid Steam user!
I would tell you my username but ya know, internet and all…
Thanks for the link again Ed, and thanks for the compliment :3
And yes while early on i spoke for a few people, i only did it to get the ball rolling you see. And i tried not to make them speak much either
April 18th, 2011 at 4:34 am
Oh and yes, there IS updating on my website. On account of it breaking? I’m guessing no-one remembers that but i fixed it and it looks rather different than it did before! (i couldn’t find the skin i used previously *caugh caugh*)
Also the commenting system is shiny and new, and it allows logging in via Intensedebate and nice things like avatars!
April 18th, 2011 at 9:21 am
Inspector O’Dowd slowly extracted himself from his seatbelt, sliding out of the car onto the wet pavement. The drive to the Police Station had been long and uneventful. There were no cars on the road at this time of night. He had received his summons to his workplace whilst in his bed forty minutes ago. In this situation, hesitation was not an option.
The rain continued to pelt down, the drops of water splattering onto O’Dowd’s vehicle slowly slipping downwards toward the tarmac. The Inspector was already on his way in the opposite direction from the car, his coat wrapped tightly around him, his collar turned up to the wind.
Harry strolled over towards the heavy wooden door embedded into the wall of the police station, knowing that it would be the only entrance he could use at these early hours of the morning. He knew that he would not be disturbed on his way to the filing room, and thought it unlikely that he would disturb anyone else either. Swinging the creaking, ancient door open, he began to make his way there.
The room had already been cordoned off, but the police tape that blocked the door was easily ignored. Only two others were present in the room, the revered Detective Dawain and a janitor fruitlessly attempting to clean the blood-stained carpet. There was a chalk outline on the carpet, but the blood that had leaked from the corpse made it obvious where it had laid. O’Dowd knew that the workers in the morgue could be trusted for the work they were required to do. They were honest people who sought and provided only facts, and could not be bought.
The Inspector look over towards the Detective, looking for what hints he could find in from the highest ranked officer he trusted. Dawain’s expression was, however, unreadable. Although years of experience had taught O’Dowd that by this stage, Detective Ducks knew all that there was to be known about this crime scene, and that he would be told all that he needed to know and no more.
Dawain stood between the large window, now smashed, and the now-dry puddle of blood. Harry moved to a position on the left of the Detective, the nine o’clock to Ducks’ twelve. The two stood motionless, in silence.
He was obviously the first to have made it here following the summons, and only time would tell who else would arrive.
The janitor broke the silence to swear before he began to scrub harder.
April 18th, 2011 at 10:35 am
shutup superduck we all know that a better name for this comic would be “superduck is the best featuring moe”
April 18th, 2011 at 7:53 pm
:OOOO
April 18th, 2011 at 7:55 pm
Now that really IS too much Muke…
April 18th, 2011 at 7:58 pm
Maybe a quirky spin-off series…
Moe comics! Featuring Superduck, Gregory and Co!
I play a bar tender and I just CAN’T get the surface clean! Basically everything starts breaking and more and more people come to help, hilarity ensues.
April 18th, 2011 at 8:00 pm
Welp… Does that get you…DOWN!
*laugh track*
*Studio audience applause*
April 18th, 2011 at 10:52 pm
The door to Apartment number 17 swung open, revealing a tall figure, clad in a trench coat. He strode into the hall, letting the door swing shut behind him. Ex-Detective Agony surveyed his home.
There were two doors from the hall. One led into the kitchen, which had nothing that he needed now. The other into his bedroom, and it was this one toward which he walked. The room was sparsely furnished, with a single bed, a television and a wardrobe. Flinging the wardrobe door open, Agony reached for his lock box. Within it were the only possessions he gave enough of a damn about to take with him where he as going. A picture of a smiling woman, holding a baby. A plain golden ring. And a six shooter magnum. He put the picture and ring in his wallet, glancing at the clock and realising he was running out of time. They had clearly found the body by now, and if he knew Dawain, they’d already know it was him. It both scared him and gave him a thrill to know he was directly pitting his wits against the best detectives in the department.
Replacing his old police pistol with the magnum, he placed his old gun down in the box, leaving the lid open. Let them think him unarmed, then let them run onto his bullets.
He placed a booted foot onto the sodden side walk, glancing in every direction and straining his ears for the sound of sirens. He heard nothing but the rain, the never-ending, all drenching rain, and the movement of far away cars. He began to walk slowly towards his destination.
April 19th, 2011 at 4:53 am
gregory i was a officer breifly if you do recall before being demoted to janiter, i was a hard hitting officer like the hammer of thor, ruff around the edges yet lacking the heart of gold that would complete the timeless cliche, as such i am now just a gruff janitor who brings mops to a gun fight
April 19th, 2011 at 5:02 am
As the last rays of sun shone through the window into the filling room, Mjollnir stood up relieved that he had, with more effort than he had ever used on any other job, removed all the blood from the ultra absorbant carpet. he wiped the sweet from his brow and exited the room, and then the building. As he strolled down the short road and then banked right into the alleyway in which he parked his battered old van he looked about surveying the exterior of the once noble HQ of the moe-lice station, now crumbling in decay, yet he wasnt moved to any grand thoughts of metaphors for corruption in the force or the decaying of morals.no, the only thing the janitor thought as he surveyed the decaying station with its peeling paint and scratched signs was: “shit if that plaster starts falling im going to need a fucking big broom.” and he was right
April 19th, 2011 at 6:53 am
and then a skeleton popped out
April 19th, 2011 at 11:05 pm
I live!
April 20th, 2011 at 6:16 am
And then a ghost popped out.
Boo.
That is all.
April 20th, 2011 at 5:40 pm
No commenters today? Meh, well this duck has taken I’ll and isn’t going to cover for these absance shinanigans!
Bluh bluh bluh sleep.
April 20th, 2011 at 7:10 pm
(Yeah, I need to get off my rocker and get writing)
April 21st, 2011 at 9:37 am
Yeah guys, keep writing for the role-playing glory.
And stuff.
April 21st, 2011 at 4:03 pm
Superduck’s Ghost: Sorry, still too ill for any tomfoolery…
Future Superduck: Hey guys, did someone say…return of an old character?!?!
Superduck’s Ghost: No, shut up, or i swear i will come and do that to you while you are ill!
Future Superduck: That is why i’m here. To punish you for…actually this was a terrible idea, in fact it was the reason that…
Superduck’s Ghost: MY HEAD IS SPINNING AND IT IS TOO LATE FOR AN APOLOGY!
April 21st, 2011 at 4:03 pm
FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU…
April 21st, 2011 at 10:08 pm
Ye Gods, not more time-travelling shenanigans.
By which I mean:
Andrew Hussie’s antics have pretty much made myself, and I’m sure many others, immune.
April 22nd, 2011 at 3:20 am
What are these antics you speak of?
April 22nd, 2011 at 3:42 am
All of the antics.
All of them.
April 22nd, 2011 at 4:57 am
i warned you bout those antics, i told you dawg
April 22nd, 2011 at 4:58 am
*antics man
April 22nd, 2011 at 6:38 am
BRO HAVE
BRO HAVE YOU SEEN MY ANTICS
AROUND ANYWEAR
April 22nd, 2011 at 7:57 am
What IS it with you and ANTICS man, how high do you even have to BE to DO something like that it is UNREAL!
Of course the antics ruse was just a DISTACTION…now I have the car!
April 22nd, 2011 at 10:46 am
What? Someone stop him! Ducks can neither earn a driver’s license nor can ghosts legally drive a car! I’m not having my only mode of transportation impounded by some joy-riding ectoplasmic fowl!
I’m shouting!
April 22nd, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Welp… looks like Superduck’s driven the car into the ocean. Hope you have insurance, Greg!
April 22nd, 2011 at 4:35 pm
*floats the car into the sea while standing on it singing sea shanties and playing an accordion. There is now a makeshift sail with a flag on it, a duck head and crossbones with a ghost tail underneath.*
April 22nd, 2011 at 4:36 pm
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH…
Sailing a car into the sea rum pum pum,
What a pleasant life for me rum pum pum,
It’s gonna be such fun rum pum pum,
Now i gotta find me some rum pum pum!
April 22nd, 2011 at 4:36 pm
Feel free to sing along 😉
April 22nd, 2011 at 8:44 pm
*facepalm*
*double facepalm*
Freako! Tell me we still have the landboat…
April 23rd, 2011 at 7:42 am
Well, this entire situation is rather… unfortunate.
But I think I shall join the Crew of Superduck, sailing the High Seas in our SeaCar.
Perhaps we should have… TWO simultaneous Role-Playing adventures going?
Or would that idea be just too insane.
April 23rd, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Firman! We need a 400th comic! Please we beg of you!
Also you commenting guys are pretty cool dudes.
April 24th, 2011 at 7:06 am
my god superduck that song was the most beautiful thing ive seen in the past few days, and it has put me in the mood for pirate metal!!!!
April 24th, 2011 at 7:11 am
yar har fiddly dee being a pirate is allright to be, do what you want cause a pirate is free YOU ARE A PIRATE
April 24th, 2011 at 8:42 am
What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
Er-lay in the morning?
April 24th, 2011 at 9:44 am
Omi, i don’t think Lazy Town songs count as pirate metal. However they are welcome aboard the S.S.Krybaby.
April 24th, 2011 at 8:46 pm
It’s been 70 days since we last sighted land, but spirits are still high. The crew sings sea shanties atop the fair ship S.S. Krybaby, accompanied by a lone accordion. We stand surrounding the mast, the flag bearing the Beak and Tailfeathers blowing steadily in the gentle sea breeze.
April 24th, 2011 at 10:35 pm
First Mate Jonathon! How are we at finding the filthy galley licker who stole my car and set this entire boat off its journey to find the lost island of Moe?
April 25th, 2011 at 2:36 am
i didnt feel like singing alestorm but if you insist on pirate metal
April 25th, 2011 at 2:37 am
HEY HEY I WANT MORE WENCHES, HEY HEY MORE WENCHES AND MEAD, HEY HEY I WANT MORE WENCHES, LOTS OF WENCHES IS WHAT I NEED
April 25th, 2011 at 4:41 am
Captain’s Personal Log: All this singing is going to drive me to murder.
April 25th, 2011 at 5:13 am
murder a duck who drove your car into the sea?
April 25th, 2011 at 5:18 am
Hull Scratchings of the Quartermaster: i be thinking that da capten is getun grumpy wat wif all da singin an such, he keeps sharpenin his swords an everythung, i be hopin he dun make me whip no one cause i haven told him dat i use me whip to help lash up the mast on his car before i realise it was gettin stolez from the place where he keep it before day, anyway all this scratchin on da wallz is makin me knife blunt so i think it be time for me to sod off
April 25th, 2011 at 8:45 am
Och Captain, the search not be going well. Aye can see the flighty bugger on the horizon, but he keeps going at the same speed we be following! All be for naught unless we can find away to speed ourselves withoot aiding our quarry.
May aye recommend cannons?
April 25th, 2011 at 8:47 am
OH GOD ALMOST AT 359 I MUST NOT FUCK THIS ONE UP AS WELL HOLY SHIT MUST AVOID RUINING EVERYTHING AGAIN HOLY FUCK
April 25th, 2011 at 8:51 am
first mate do ya mean fire them behind us liek in da cartoons i get to watch on saturdays an such, boy i really like da cute mouse its so cute and it reminds me oh me childhood when i was a youngun and i had a pet mouse but i accidently dropped a boot on it and den it goes flat. or do you mean fire the cannons at the cap’n’s car cause im thinkin dat would mak ‘im mighty mad
April 25th, 2011 at 9:21 am
Aye dinnae laddie, aye just be a simple first maaate.
Who also happens to be a quite stereotypical, almost to the point of racism, portrayal of a Scottish person.
(And yeah, watch for the 359! Even if I don’t quite agree with the plan, I’ll respect the wishes of anyone who wants to attempt it.)
April 25th, 2011 at 3:21 pm
(Well, that would be the next post so let’s make it a huge one!)
Boys, I think that’s the finest idea I have heard. Unmizzenmast the sidearms and bring them off port side. Secure them just past my poop deck and light the fires! Shiver me timbers, we’ll be dining on duck tonight!
April 25th, 2011 at 4:29 pm
A figure in all white watched the chase from his nearby boat, concealed behind a line of rocks. It appeared to be a pirate fight.
He loved fighting pirates.
The experienced ninja leapt from the bow of the ship, backwards onto the main deck. His Second-in-Command, Red Shadow, was standing waiting for him.
“Sir! The Shadow is ready to join the chase, if you so wish it.
The captain pondered for a moment, his face hidden by his hood.
“Hunt them.”
Red bowed slightly, quickly issuing orders to the rest of the crew, garbed in black, via hand signals. The ships oars began to move, silently piloting the ship out of the small natural harbour and onto the open sea, giving chase to the pirate vessels.
It quickly caught up to the larger ship, which was firing it’s cannons wildly. Being a ninja ship, it of course had unnatural speed. Before the crew of this ship noticed the Shadow, the captain threw a smoke bomb down, concealing them from view. He then moved back, so as to get a run up. Red cried out to him.
“Captain, you can’t fight an entire ship alone! It’s too dangerous!”
The captain grabbed his lieutenant by his shoulders, shaking him.
“You know the law! The more of us attack at once, the less powerful we are individually! I have to do this alone!”
And with that, he was gone, having very stealthily jumped to the adjacent ship.
Landing on the deck without a sound, White surveyed the scene. It appeared that the crew was attempting to fire it’s cannons to boost it’s speed to catch what appeared to be a car acting as a boat. He shook his head and drew his katana, simultaneously throwing several shurikens into the backs of five of the crew. He then moved quickly out of sight, seeking more important prey.
April 25th, 2011 at 4:47 pm
Eeeeeeeeeye beeeeeeeeee…
Sai-lin a-long on the ooopen seeea,
Stealing a car which was noooot fer meeee,
Caaaannon fiiiyer doesn’t scare me
cos i’m maaaade from stuuuuf that you can not seeee!
Yar har har boo am a ghoooost eye beeee!
Sailing along on the ooopen seeeeea,
Thars not a thing that could stooooooop meeeeeeeeee!!!!…
Saaaaailing along on the seeeeeeea____
Nooooooow iiiiiiii’m….
Singing along on the oooopen seeeeea,
seein the things that i waaaaant ta seeeee,
whether be pleasant as iiiiit could beeeee,
Bee-in undead is so eeeeeasyyyyy___
Yar har har boo am a ghoooost eye beeee!
Sailing along on the ooopen seeeeea,
Thars not a thing that could stooooooop meeeeeeeeee!!!!…
Saaaaailing along on the seeeeeeea____
Ooooooooh theeeeeeeeee…
Waters be thick but the waaaaves be cleeeear,
Sailing along till we fiiiind the piiiier,
Wailing a shanty thats miiiiighty queeeeeeeeeeeer!…
Tunin my accordi-on….bom bom…
Yar har har boo am a ghoooost eye beeee!
Sailing along on the ooopen seeeeea,
Thars not a thing that could stooooooop meeeeeeeeee!!!!…
Saaaaailing along on the seeeeeeea____
April 25th, 2011 at 4:49 pm
For my next number…
April 26th, 2011 at 1:14 am
well i’m thoroughly aroused now
April 26th, 2011 at 6:39 am
You sing a mean shanty, Superduck.
Lucky you’re not on the other ship, those guys are screwed.
*will abstain from pirate/ninja shenanigans*
April 26th, 2011 at 7:24 am
*Also abstaining from Pirate/Ninja shenanigans*
And I shall also personally assume that the attacked ship was a decoy.
Or from a parallel universe.
Or a hologram.
Or a particularly bad acid trip.
And it appears we have passed the 359/360 mark. I guess the only way now is forward.
To 500!
April 26th, 2011 at 4:14 pm
As a wise man once said:
…
Lets add some more comments while we wait for a new comic page.
…
Carry on.
April 26th, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Yarrr, me thinks the pirate story be needing a few more verses. Look to the west wind laterrrr, for it be holding me steering.
Which
As you may know
Is drrriving me nuts.
April 27th, 2011 at 3:23 am
(Sorry, about that delay. And although I see some people against the ninjas, and I respect that, one of the most important rules of improv – a form of what we are doing here – is not to say “No” but say “Yes, and…” So we must accept this assault by Ninja, and then add our own observation on it. This being said, let us continue)
April 27th, 2011 at 3:26 am
[THE PIRATE STORY]
What? Here there be Ninja? Ooooo, if there’s one thing I hate more than car-boat stealing fowl, it’s Ninja! Dirty, sneaky ninja who interrupt a’ honest pirrate just going about his business!
First Mate Yorke! Fetch me the beer! And if we have no beer, get me the ale! And if there’s no ale, then haul out the rum! And should we lack the rum…draw out the grog!
And if we’ve drunk all the grog…
…then we’ll drink the blood of our enemies!
April 27th, 2011 at 4:44 am
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!! TONIGHT WE FEAST UPON THE FLESH OF THE VANQUISHED. also what about the mead we could always drink that or is the just for special occasions like birthdays
April 27th, 2011 at 4:44 am
*cap’n
April 27th, 2011 at 4:47 am
dis ninja dun gone an gutted deckhand timmy IT WAS TIMMY’S BIRTHDAY now we cant bust out the mead I WILL TAKE THIS NINJA’S HEAD
April 27th, 2011 at 5:15 am
*takes a long sideways look at his Quartermaster before pulling out a small leather handbook, well worn with age and use*
Captain’s Personal Log: Personal note…check what the Quartermaster is putting in the food.
April 27th, 2011 at 8:13 am
Aye aye Capt’n! I’ll bring ye whatever drink that I can get my hands upon that is within our hold.
I’ll see if I can perchance rustle up some WHISKY
WHISKY
To improve our fightin’ and also our further drinkin’
April 27th, 2011 at 2:41 pm
*Takes a hearty swig of rum*
Yo ho yo ho…
Shumthin…
*hic*
A pirate shumthin shumthin!
YOOOOO HOOOOOOO
*Falls asleep*
April 28th, 2011 at 5:13 am
cap’n i was dun doin uh one of dem stocktaking thungs that you count tha thungs and i was countin da grog and food room on ma fingers and it seems we be lackin all da rum, i am of a suspician it was in ya car cap’n. however all da food is pretty much all der
April 28th, 2011 at 5:33 am
da food sems to be goin *swallows* mussin
April 28th, 2011 at 5:55 am
*First Mate’s Diary*
Dear Diary,
I be thinking that this ship be going downhill, fast. But not sinking. Argh, damn me nautical metaphors. Recently things seem to be getting more and more out of hand. Rum keeps disappearing, and the Capt’n always be drunk! I suspect these two events are linked. And our food be disappearing at an abnormal rate as well. I think fish must be eating through the hull and stealing it.
I think that perhaps soon one of our trusty shoreboats may also go missing.
And I will also go missing.
With the shoreboat.
Because I stole it.
Jonny Yorke.
P.S. also five crewmembers died mysteriously. But that means more food and grog to go around the rest of us, aye?
Yarrrrrrrr, it does.
April 28th, 2011 at 8:15 am
Zzzzzz…
yo ho…
zzzz…
April 29th, 2011 at 7:20 pm
MOE
Y U NO UPDATE D:
April 29th, 2011 at 11:47 pm
cap’n might’n I be inquir’n into why thar be just some many darn shoreboats on dis ‘ere ship?
April 30th, 2011 at 5:01 am
Being creative every day is hard.
April 30th, 2011 at 2:27 pm
But we must never give in.
April 30th, 2011 at 3:16 pm
I think this is less of a comic, more of a chatroom by this point.
Shame too, i don’t want to lose Moe forever, but i guess it can’t be helped if Firman really doesn’t want to (and/or) has no time to.
:(((
April 30th, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Superduck, don’t give in so easily. How else are we going to get to 500?
May 1st, 2011 at 5:18 am
Guys… I think we should be having this conversation out of character.
And we must keep going, for what shall future generations think of us if we lose hope so soon?
For they may experience worse hiatuses than we.
May 1st, 2011 at 8:14 am
Well, by too soon you mean over all around a thousand comments if i’m not mistaken. I think that might be a record. But i have not given up yet, i just don’t like how all the naturally funny comics seem to die out early…
May 1st, 2011 at 9:42 am
perhaps someone in firman’s home country should use the miracles of the internet to stalk him and then send him a care package to let him know everyone still holds him in high esteem. i would do it myself but as a high school student in australia i am comparitively broke, with the comparison being to people with jobs, people in america who aren’t in high school. point is firman may just need a little bit of lovin
May 1st, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Wait just one minute, you’re in Australia, Omi? So combining Super Duck who (I believe) is a Brit, (and I’m a Texan), we could create Rainbow Half-Half-Dozen! *cue dramatic music*
May 1st, 2011 at 2:56 pm
I mean…yarrrrr
May 1st, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Every once in a while, I check the comments of the last comic to see if Firman has maybe said anything.
And then I remember that the “comments” on Moe are actually a 400-post roleplay.
Okay then.
May 1st, 2011 at 7:29 pm
Yes, I am English. Did I mention it before or did you work it out?
I am occasionally taken to the fancy of wearing a bowler hat, but dislike tea.
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:05 am
I’ve heard you talk about being English on a few occasions, it’s awesome. What part of England? Or Britain? Or Great Britain? Is this Avalon? Filler!
May 2nd, 2011 at 3:47 am
i just love the fact that you included your state in the list of people’s countries
May 2nd, 2011 at 3:51 am
like i saw that and shed a tear for its stereotypical brilliance
May 2nd, 2011 at 4:58 am
Yes, it could be difficult to send Lord Sir Duke Firman a Care Package to his native Canadia considering my location and employment status.
And thanks Omi, now it’s gonna sound unoriginal when I reveal that I am also Australian
But not unemployed
Just receiving very little pay and being really stingy.
May 2nd, 2011 at 4:58 pm
FOUR TILL FOUR HUNDRED.
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:02 pm
West Yorkshire. And England isn’t that great, but we aren’t eaten by everything that moves here so that is something. Incidently as things have slowed down somewhat on the piraty and sleuthy sides of things, as have the comments, I believe it is time for a new approach…
PUN OFF!!!
Don’t ruin the 400th if possible though.
The rules will be simple, the first person to start punning will say anything (this should be me) and then the next person shall make a punny observation about that, or as many as they like, and try to lead it on. So I will start with a joke methinks, then re next guy to join in makes a pun about that, pretty simple right?
(WARNING! Jokes are NOT puns! Puns are wordplay.)
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:05 pm
Why have there been no new comics?
Because they are as slow as Moelasses!
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:43 pm
And why are Moelasses so slow?
I’m not quite sure, but it must be a problem inherent on a Moelecular level!
Also next comment is 400. So, uh, watch out Omi >.>
May 2nd, 2011 at 11:27 pm
well, good bye MOE.
May 3rd, 2011 at 7:53 am
Curses!
New Moe-tion…
Stop ruining milestones!
Can someone start logging the moe-nutes on this meeting please so moe-one forgets?
Otherwise i’m going to get a little ghastly >,,<
May 3rd, 2011 at 9:07 am
Don’t you mean a little… GHOSTLY?
And with that I call to order the first meeting of The People Who Post Comments on Moe/Firman Productions While Waiting for the Next Installment.
What shall be the first order of business Mr. Secretary?
May 4th, 2011 at 1:31 am
i think moe is NOT dead.
May 4th, 2011 at 1:37 am
Campbell speaks it truly. I got the next strip open now and it is guaranteed to be anticlimactic! Thanks everyone for the dedicated support, let’s bring this bald bozo back into business!
May 4th, 2011 at 1:41 am
YES!
May 4th, 2011 at 1:42 am
Let’s Cele’moe’ate! Yes, it’s not a pun, leave me alone, I’m celebrating!
May 4th, 2011 at 1:42 am
Yarrr, get me rum!
May 4th, 2011 at 1:43 am
Oh yeah! We’re really going to have to hurry to get to 500.
May 4th, 2011 at 3:45 am
Right well, it’s in progress, but I’m going to have to catch some sleep here now since my parents are coming to take me to a birthday brunch shortly. Yeah that’s right, it’s my actual birthday this time, disregard the misinformation commenters were spreading before!
So strip will be up at some point later tonight.
May 4th, 2011 at 4:20 am
Let us celebrate! For soon it shall be Moesday the Next.
May 4th, 2011 at 4:21 am
And we totally only need 89 more comments after this one.
May 4th, 2011 at 4:21 am
Let’s get on it people!
May 4th, 2011 at 4:29 am
Oh, I almost forgot:
Haaaaaaaappy birthday to yoooouuuu
Haaaaaaaappy birthday to yoooooouu
Happy birthday dear Fiiiiiiiirman
Haaaappy birthday to yoooouuuu
Hip hip:
May 4th, 2011 at 5:14 am
HORRAY!
May 4th, 2011 at 5:15 am
Hip hip:
May 4th, 2011 at 5:40 am
HORRAY
May 4th, 2011 at 5:44 am
HIP HIP:
May 4th, 2011 at 5:51 am
HORRAY!!
May 4th, 2011 at 5:52 am
HAH! We did it!
May 4th, 2011 at 6:29 am
Ooooooooh
For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow
For he’s a jolly good felloooooooow, and so say all of us
And so say all of us, and so say all of us
For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow
For he’s a jolly good felloooooooow, and so say all of us
And so say all of us, and so say all of us!
May 4th, 2011 at 6:35 am
This is was totally worth staying up for.
May 4th, 2011 at 6:35 am
Seventy-nine to go!
May 4th, 2011 at 6:35 am
Technically, I’m…no, I’m cheating. Going to stop.
May 4th, 2011 at 6:41 am
It’s not cheating if we both participate!
May 4th, 2011 at 6:42 am
I…. I think?
May 4th, 2011 at 7:45 am
Comic strip eh?
*strips*
Of course i am punning but i would totally do that right now! However i am at work. And that would involve plucking alot of feathers.
In fact lets just hire a stripper for Firmans birthday.
I wonder what i should get him…
May 4th, 2011 at 7:47 am
Maybe i will badly redraw a part of my favourite comic when i get home.
I COULD say i would post a tribute on my website but for anyone who has tried to visit it, you will notice my brother had NO MONEY and now they want paying. Unfortunately, getting hold of them is like trying to pull teeth froma dead horses mouth. A horse which had no teeth.
NONE…AT….ALLLLLLLLL….
May 4th, 2011 at 9:39 am
Let us all make homage comics!
Time to bust out Ye Olde MS Paint
May 4th, 2011 at 12:35 pm
Just got home but i am rather tired.
However i MAY have just fixed my website.
Don’t quote me on that.
Check back in 20 mins and i might have something.
May 4th, 2011 at 2:25 pm
Superduck (Ghost), I will -only- check that website if you put some clothes back on.
May 4th, 2011 at 2:44 pm
Dang it. Got to start my day (and do not judge me, my time zone is later than yours). Be back in a few hours to see if we hit 500 before Moesday. Make me proud!
May 4th, 2011 at 5:45 pm
I made it! And nothing changed……….such mixed emotions.
May 4th, 2011 at 6:52 pm
Where are you guys?
May 4th, 2011 at 7:03 pm
Sorry, turns out that “something” I got in 20mins as a nap.
Getting into a work routine I hard ; ;
NO I will NOT put some clothes on! I will be in my pyjamas forevaaaah!
I want to give Firman something but I am off to sleep now so ifni were to draw, it would be late tomorrow and also my drawing stinks
Guess I will go out on a song instead…
Oh Fiiiirmaan…
You caaame and you gave without takiiiiing…
And we NEED you today ooooh Fiiirmaaan!
Draw some coomics and stooop me from shaaakiiiing…
It’s your birthday today ooooh Fiiirmaaaaan!
May 4th, 2011 at 7:15 pm
Wait, when’s Moesday? Is it today?!?!
June 22nd, 2014 at 6:22 am
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June 22nd, 2020 at 1:43 pm
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